Sarah and Mary are giddy this week with the recap of Lifetime’s “Just What the Doctor Ordered” — the fifth movie in the “Stalked By My Doctor” series — starring the incomparable Eric Roberts — as well as a bonus recap of the Season 6 premiere of “90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.” Sarah’s not surprised to find Dr. Beck still extremely passionate about all matters of the heart, including surgery as well as pretty 18-year-olds. Mary is pleased he hasn’t lost his flare for impersonating medical pe...
Apr 27, 2021•1 hr 49 min
Sarah and Mary are jazzed to dish their thoughts on this week’s MAFS episode which takes the group to Hilton Head, SC for a couple’s retreat. With one week left until decision day, Mary finds it mildly concerning that Haley and Jacob can’t even share a car ride — let alone a bed — and she’s not happy with Virginia’s strict two-cats-per-person bed policy. Sarah is glad that Jacob is getting enough protein by having eight eggs as a pre-dinner snack and wonders if Champagne Vinny would rather ride ...
Apr 23, 2021•1 hr 28 min
Sarah and Mary do their best to make sense of the Lifetime movie, “Envy.” They had a lot of laughs trying to dissect it and that’s really all that matters, right? Mary struggles with the constant use of the term “Daddy” and wonders if she’d be thrilled or offended if she was gifted with a Honda Fit. Sarah is thankful that Kandi Burress is part of the cast and sincerely wants to know what became of her character since Lifetime decided not to tell us her fate. Sarah and Mary are envious of Gabby’s...
Apr 20, 2021•1 hr 5 min
With less than two weeks until decision day, not a whole lot has changed with the individual couples. Although it was a Chris-free episode, we weren’t without a varsity ball-bag to be annoyed by — thanks for taking the reins, Haley! Sarah can’t understand why Haley is so bent out of shape with Jacob’s choice in footwear and wonders if it’s exhausting to have pursed lips 24-hours a day. Mary would rather eat a yearbook than look at someone else's, and suspects that Erik may, in fact, be a robot. ...
Apr 16, 2021•1 hr 25 min
Sarah and Mary recap the Lifetime movie, “Beware of the Midwife,” — and it’s a fun one. Did the movie make a lot of sense and was it a good use of their time to watch it? Not really. Do they have a spirited chat and some hearty laughs discussing the ridiculousness of it all? Absolutely. Sarah is unclear why anyone would switch their birthing plan so late in the game and also why someone would bail on stealing a baby halfway through stealing a baby — have some follow through, dammit. Mary is impr...
Apr 13, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Sarah and Mary are very much looking forward to decision day in less than three weeks. Mostly because then they won’t have to deal with Haley’s pursed butthole lips or Chris, the narcissistic, bad egg. Sarah is highly uncomfortable with the budget discussion between Vincent and Briana but is quickly relieved when she realizes that the “cookie” column is for expenses to groom Briana’s dog and not her vagina. Mary is frustrated that Clara won’t fess up to Pastor Cal how much she needs the “D” and ...
Apr 09, 2021•1 hr 21 min
The Eric Roberts obsession continues for Sarah and Mary in their recap of Lifetime’s “Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge.” As the third in the “Stalked By My Doctor” series, this one does NOT disappoint. Sarah is over the moon with the double dose of Eric Roberts (since Eric Roberts’ inner-voice of reason is played by, well, Dr. Mr. Eric Roberts). Mary is genuinely pleased that he finally “gets the girl” in this one - or so it would seem - and still isn’t really concerned that he wants to c...
Apr 06, 2021•1 hr 13 min
Sarah and Mary are thrilled to see Dr. Pepper resurface alive and well, even remotely, in this week’s episode of MAFS. Sarah is relieved at the limited airtime Chris receives, however, she remains highly annoyed with Paige’s inability to point the finger at him. Mary is concerned that the “D” is as crucial to Clara’s survival as oxygen at this point — without it, she’s not going to make it. Erik’s controlling behavior is a concern to Sarah and Mary; he’s stolen Virginia’s sparkle and they’re not...
Apr 02, 2021•1 hr 17 min
This week’s recap of the trending Netflix movie, “Deadly Illusions” is a lot. A lot of what? We’re not really sure. A lot of work, definitely. Sarah and Mary can confirm that they both, in fact, watched the movie, but that’s pretty much it. Mary is floored that anyone over the age of 18 would enter a dressing room with another adult to try on bras, while Sarah is intrigued with the main character’s cigar habit and questions her judgment for smoking them inside her house. Nobody knows who’s looki...
Mar 30, 2021•1 hr 27 min
The one month anniversary of the couples has Sarah and Mary feeling all of the feels. Sarah is concerned that if Clara doesn’t hear an “I love you” or experience full penetration, she might not make it to decision day (or next weekend for that matter). Mary is officially over Haley pretending to put in effort but is thankful that Jacob was at least able to enjoy a nice steak. Sarah and Mary were impressed with how smoothly Champagne Vinny was able to surprise Briana with a boat ride and that Bri...
Mar 26, 2021•1 hr 22 min
This week’s Lifetime movie — the accurately titled, “Deep Blue Nightmare” — has Sarah and Mary questioning if Lifetime really knows much about the ocean, maritime safety, or life in general. Guys, it really was a nightmare. Mary’s convinced they sourced the shark from a Chuck E. Cheese robot graveyard, and she will never accept that anyone would choose to kayak in open seas - especially for hours at a time. Sarah is jazzed with Michael Madsen’s appearance, but is puzzled as to why he’s constantl...
Mar 23, 2021•1 hr 12 min
Everyone is jazzed to see Dr. Viviana has surfaced in this week’s episode, however, Sarah’s less than thrilled with the lackadaisical guidance she offers Paige in dealing with the King of the Bad Eggs, Chris. Mary’s annoyed with Virginia’s need for password transparency and also with Haley and Jacob for giving themselves gold stars for platonically sharing a bed. Sarah and Mary wonder if Clara will ever triumph over penetration frustration and if they should maybe form a search party for Dr. Pep...
Mar 19, 2021•1 hr 22 min
This week’s recap of Lifetime’s “Deadly Dating Game” had Sarah and Mary gasping for breath from laughing, while sifting through the wayward plot-lines. Sarah is certain that falling down one step would not lead to death - and wants to know how someone gets shoved to the ground by absolutely nobody. Mary accidentally tries her hand at “baby talk” — and even gives her all for a wildly mediocre Madonna impersonation. The ladies agree that stalkers might not be all that bad when it comes down to it....
Mar 16, 2021•1 hr 10 min
Week nine has some familiar feels as Chris still sucks big time and Vinny’s zero-to-one-hundred temper rears its head, again. Sarah notes that Virginia’s lost a bit of her easy-breezy sparkle, but affirms they’re kindred spirits when it comes to mimosas. Mary discovers her love for Clara, but acknowledges it probably has more to do with donuts and gas station palates than anything else. Sarah and Mary are done making excuses for Paige’s inability to walk away from one of the BIGGEST d-bags on pl...
Mar 12, 2021•1 hr 25 min
This week’s recap of Lifetime’s “Dangerous Medicine” is a doozy. Mary has a hard time believing an 18-year-old guy would have any gripe at all about getting a massage and sponge bath from a hot nurse. Sarah introduces Mary to another phrase for “pitching a tent” that makes her blush. Mary also has a beef with Daphne’s insistence on conveniently baring her midriff. Sarah and Mary agree they’d be in big trouble if their lives depended on knowing the whereabouts of gas line hookups or utility panel...
Mar 09, 2021•1 hr 12 min
Week eight has the couples attempting to live as man and wife…whether they like it or not. Sarah is impressed with the candor of friends and family sharing direct and honest feedback since the experts seem to be anywhere other than available to the couples for advice or guidance. Mary worries that Erik is taking on a “daddy” role which truly makes her sick to her stomach, Daddy. Sarah and Mary concur that Ryan needs to stick it in Clara before she turns her attention to literally ANYONE on her n...
Mar 05, 2021•1 hr 16 min
This week’s podcast feature, LMN’s “Brutal Bridesmaids,” was just that -- brutal. Mary wasn’t happy with the bride’s personality right off the bat, when she ham-handedly knocked the engagement ring into a river without displaying even the smallest level of shock or remorse. Sarah was less than pleased that a full grown adult character was named “Binky,” however, she thoroughly enjoyed her fashion sense. Sarah and Mary were convinced that there couldn’t have been an actual written script with how...
Mar 02, 2021•1 hr 28 min
Week seven has the couples moving into their shared, neutral-territory apartments — some with a more positive outlook than others. Sarah questions whether Haley’s aversion to Jacob’s love for the 80’s is merely a front disguising her true revulsion of his entire being. Mary is concerned that sweet, easy-going Vincent is actually an angry volcano that is about to erupt all over Briana. Sarah and Mary are relieved with the appearance of Pastor Cal, but are quickly incensed that he has an actual th...
Feb 26, 2021•1 hr 29 min
The Eric Roberts love-fest continues for Sarah and Mary in this week’s recap of Lifetime’s glorious “Stalked By My Doctor: The Return.” Mary is impressed with Dr. Eric Roberts’ personal growth as a stalker; going for the mother of his teenage love this time seems like a more effective approach. Sarah admires his culinary skills- spelling his love’s name out in pancakes is quite the touch. The girls agree that it’s not a great idea to step onto a ledge blindfolded — no matter how smitten you migh...
Feb 23, 2021•1 hr 24 min
The couples are putting a bow on their sad, glaringly pandemic honeymoons in Sin City. Sarah and Mary empathize with Haley when she shares her regret after getting hammered then charitably letting Jacob stick it in. Chris continues to show he’s a bad egg and Sarah teaches Mary a new term that makes her blush and question everything. Mary can’t decide if she’s impressed or depressed by Erik’s failed attempt to keep up with Virginia’s vacation drinking schedule — and the girls really want to take ...
Feb 19, 2021•1 hr 25 min
Getting a taste of Eric Roberts in last week’s feature just wasn’t enough so it seemed only fitting to gobble up the original “Stalked By My Doctor.” Sarah loved it more than she ever has and it certainly was not a disappointment for Mary. In fact, Mary had a hard time figuring out why he’s single in the movie and has to do any stalking in the first place; she’d be more than happy to stop working and move to Cabo with Dr. Beck. Sarah admires Mr. Dr. Eric Roberts’ tenacity and uniformly unhinged ...
Feb 16, 2021•1 hr 31 min
The couples are easing into their quality time with one another on their honeymoons in Vegas, baby — literally. To the dismay of Sarah, Mary, and the world, Chris reveals that his ex-fiance is six weeks pregnant with his child but somehow still tries to play the good-guy / victim card whenever he possibly can. Sarah is absolutely repulsed by Jacob eating a raw onion at lunch, while Mary is underwhelmed with the amount of dolphin play on Clara and Ryan’s porpoise-themed date. Both Sarah and Mary ...
Feb 12, 2021•1 hr 21 min
The biggest takeaway from LMN’s “Killer Advice” is that there was simply not enough Eric Roberts. Sarah recalls a time when she saw him in real life but didn’t want to interrupt his froyo experience. Mary can’t let go of the fact that five dollars doesn’t go nearly as far as the good people at Lifetime would have us believe, and Sarah discovers she has a severe aversion to cheesecakes — mini cheesecakes, specifically, which were referenced more times than any movie should ever allow. Intimate gy...
Feb 09, 2021•1 hr 14 min
The wedding night, breakfast with their new families, and travel to Vegas for the honeymoon is covered for all five of the couples. Sarah’s really not happy with Jacob’s hyper-focused steak and eggs diet, mostly because it’s the only thing he talks about (that and his stupid man cave spa-house and questionable gut health). Mary continues to be proud of Virginia’s handling of her drinks on camera and realizes that Erik might be a bigger “dud” than she expected — second only to his mother. The gir...
Feb 05, 2021•1 hr 15 min
Of course the girls have some take-aways from “Wendy Williams: The Movie.” Were they earth-shattering? No. Valuable? Depends. Sarah and Mary both agree that Wendy had some awful experiences along the way; however, after this movie, they’re not much more knowledgeable about Wendy than before. Is it fun to know that she likes to eat her caviar with Doritos? Of course it is. Do they feel bad that she didn’t think enough of herself to walk away from Kev one of the first ten times he cheated on her? ...
Feb 02, 2021•1 hr 15 min
The final two couples walk down the aisle to meet and greet their stranger-danger spouses. Sarah is appalled at Chris’s superficiality as he tells Paige’s bridesmaids that, although she may have a “nice shape,” Paige isn’t the kind of woman he’s wanted in the past. Mary is incensed at Chris’s father for letting Paige know his son’s a horn-ball who’s going to want to “receive” sex every night after work. Along with being proud of Virginia for staying vertical the whole night, both Sarah and Mary ...
Jan 29, 2021•1 hr 9 min
The “Salt-N-Pepa” movie proved extremely difficult to follow, from characters to timelines, to who the hell cares if “Push It” is playing in the background. Sarah loses count of Spinderellas and babies while Mary has a hard time telling if they were going for morning sickness or an eating disorder. Sarah and Mary are blown away to discover that a Sears call center was such a hotbed of talent. Subscribe, like, and review—wherever you get your podcasts. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , and Faceb...
Jan 26, 2021•1 hr 4 min
After watching several of the couples get married and interact at their wedding receptions, Sarah and Mary have additional thoughts, concerns—and of course—looming questions. Why does Virginia need a shot every five minutes? Is Clara an armpit model? Does Erik not understand the value of an open bar? Also, Sarah impresses the crap out of Mary by performing not one, but two Salt-N-Pepa verses from memory as they gear up for the Salt-N-Pepa documentary movie they’ll be reviewing for next week’s ep...
Jan 22, 2021•1 hr 5 min
“The Evil Twin” has Sarah incensed with Emily’s inability to dig deeper and ask even just basic questions about what is happening in her own life. Mary is violently annoyed with the starring role that hot chocolate plays in this week’s movie—again. AND THIS TIME IT HAS A CONDIMENT. Sarah and Mary agree they’d much rather gamble and be friends with the evil twin as the other one is a varsity snooze-fest. Subscribe, like, and review—wherever you get your podcasts. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram ...
Jan 19, 2021•1 hr 16 min
Sarah and Mary offer their first impressions of the MAFS season 12 participants along with their thoughts on the couples—who they think will make it long term, and who they think will crash and burn. From “elderly” 38-year-old, Jacob, to Paige, a full-time accountant with Jesus in her heart and eating ass on her mind, the ladies agree, wholeheartedly, that this season is probably going to be pretty great. Subscribe, like, and review—wherever you get your podcasts. Follow us on Twitter , Instagra...
Jan 14, 2021•53 min
