On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a 3-day bender on the West coast. She saw a mormon trying to escape in Salt Lake, a man with a neck tat cry in Phoenix and a drive-by in Sacramento. Three amazing shows but spilling all the tea, with Tina T. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100 Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off plus free shipping. Visit athleticgreens.com/absolutel...
Apr 27, 2022•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 151
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is celebrating the Rising of the lord, with some street safety tips and life advice. She is so full of knowledge and shit at the same time it's alarming. She hits the Absolutely-NOT-Line to solve some of y'alls problems and realizes you all need a lot more than Jesus. Check out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. G...
Apr 20, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 150
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has on her man of honor, Raymond Padilla, and they give you a play by play of how they scammed their way into the Masters this weekend. There were a lot of chicken salad sandwiches and white wine to be had, but most importantly they learned about themselves. Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when you purchase 2+ cartons at PiqueLife.com/absolutely with code ABSOLUTELY. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY a...
Apr 13, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 149
On this roller coaster of an episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back in the LA studios. She talks about her wedding woes, nightmares and THAT guy at the gym - then hits the hotline to save the world, one problem at time. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com and use the code absolutely to...
Apr 06, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 148
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from the Boca Yacht Club and has decided she needs to be on the intercoastal with Annie Hathaway & some old dude from New Jersey. She spent a weekend on Spring Break, not by choice. She also hits the hotline and answers life's dumbest questions. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelysnot for $20 off your purchase of $100 or more. Go to CARIUMA.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your pair of CARIUMA sneakers. Less money, le...
Mar 30, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 147
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a magical midwest weekend. She had a tour stop in Tulsa and Omaha and in between had one of the creepiest Airline lounge experiences of her life. But in true McMahan fashion, Heather slays the Absolutely Nots while keeping it somehow glass half full. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Less mon...
Mar 23, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 146
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is so selfless she does ACTUAL work on her birthday to give you the full scoop on her Parisian travels from the weekend. What a wild, dairy-fueled ride that was. She gives you a list of what she wants for her birthday so you can plan accordingly and explains that if a grown man drinks an apple juice next to you on a flight - Watch out! Limited Time Offer: Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when you...
Mar 17, 2022•56 min•Ep. 145
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast - Heather is on a real tear on International Women's Day. After a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes, she's back with attitude and some health advice - sort of. Heather hits the Absolutely-Not-Line and tries to fix your wildest problems. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, you can get 20% off your...
Mar 09, 2022•54 min•Ep. 144
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather tries her best to understand what the absolute fuck is going on- but it's pretty much all a big Absolutely NOT. She hits the hotline to see if y'alls problems are any better.. news flash- they aren't. We've got peeping toms, angry tennis coaches and ex's who won't leave us alone! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility dot com slash absolutely. Match with a licensed therapist whe...
Mar 02, 2022•55 min•Ep. 143
Heather sits down with Harvey Guillen to talk about the struggles of working in the industry and their hilarious Bone, Marry, Bury picks. Make sure to check Bone, Marry, Bury anywhere you can find podcasts. Head to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Don’t sleep on savings. Brooklinen’s Presidents’ Day Sale is happening now. Listening after the sale? Get the deals of your drea...
Feb 23, 2022•57 min•Ep. 142
Heather is back in the studio and joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. And as usual when these two get together, hilarity ensues. Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Foria is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting www.foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zo...
Feb 18, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 141
Heather is joined by fellow comedian Ali Kolbert to talk all things comedy, and the real tea about being a woman in the industry. Prepare for many laughs ahead! Check out The Ali Kolbert Show anywhere you get your podcasts to hear more from Ali. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility.com/absolutely . Go to catalinacrunch.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first order— plus FREE shipping! Right now, you can get 20% off your first order ...
Feb 09, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 140
Heather is back in the studio in LA and more unhinged than ever! Today we are discussing the role Heather was meant to play, why people who wear glasses are really just liars, and reminiscing on stories from the tour. Buckle your seatbelts folks and dont forget - your'e lying to yourself if you dont think you need therapy. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100. Visit Talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo co...
Feb 02, 2022•54 min•Ep. 139
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back in California drinking Wine with the Kardashians. Fresh off a 3 show run in Dallas- She breaks down the funniest shit that happened in the Lone Star state and explains why every nail salon owner wears slippery Nikes. Did you also know Texas dip their chips in butter? You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month’s ...
Jan 26, 2022•57 min•Ep. 138
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather raises some mild suspicions that an older generation of first class passengers have it in for her. She can't tell if they are trying to intimidate her back to coach or if she is really in the wrong. Fresh off a wonderful weekend touring she's hitting the hotline with all of your issues! G to Squarespace.com/absonot for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or ...
Jan 19, 2022•59 min•Ep. 137
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her dear friend Jorge Collazo, about his years in the hotel biz and what it's like to date on a tiny island. Ever wondered what Grindr in the Caribbean has to offer? Don't you worry- Jorge has done the work for you! There's lots of giggles and some endearing reminders to put your feet in the sand and not take life so seriously! Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY a...
Jan 13, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 136
On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is back from a tryst with Santa and hopped up on supplements & a hope and a prayer. Everyone is panicked about the dumpster fire of the beginning of this year- but here we are holding on for dear life, full of acid reflux and optimism, damnitt! Go to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Refresh your rest with the com...
Jan 05, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 135
On this final episode of the Absolutely Not podcast of 2021- Heather ends the year strong- on an emotional rollercoaster of barely holding her shit together. It's obvious all of the listeners are fully spiraling as well - like the High School Musical says "were all in this together". Whether you're fighting omicron or just fighting with your family, Heather takes to the Absolutely NOT line to set the record straight! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you...
Dec 29, 2021•48 min•Ep. 134
It's the end of the year and Heather is filled with all the warm fuzzies! Tune in for her year in review - she's talking gratitude and getting real about coping with the pressure of the industry. Plus, were chatting poultry, UHauls and parental dating on the Absolutely Not Line! Win the gift game this season with Rothy’s shoes and accessories. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/ABSOLUTELY with extended returns and exchanges through the holidays. Get $20 off your fertility test when yo...
Dec 22, 2021•56 min•Ep. 133
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is answering all of your questions on the Absolutely Not line and noticing a common theme- That white trash scammer named Trish. Turns out she is bugging everyone this year with her antics while she smokes menthols outside of the Buick enclave. She's a scammer, a lover and loves raw meat. You'll understand when you take a listen... Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY25 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY25” at checkout for 25% off your order a...
Dec 15, 2021•54 min•Ep. 132
In this special bonus episode, Robin joins Heather to discuss her goals for 2022 and why she should be running a youth detention center. On the voicemails we are talking bad wedding guests, kissin' cousins and unfortunate tattoos. The holidays are upon us and the Absolutely Not's are more unhinged than ever! Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy Humidifier purchase today when you opt into a replacement filter subscription. You’ll receive a replacement filter every 6 weeks (right when it’...
Dec 10, 2021•58 min•Ep. 131
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from her tour of the Florida and Carolina coasts. It was a wild weekend of live, laugh, lovin. Heather remembers growing up as an organic kid looking for their chemical fix. There are lots of trigger warnings in this episode from the sweaty kid in PE to a bitch not letting you drink red wine at her wedding. Buckle up and don't listen if you're easily offended. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR ...
Dec 08, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 130
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive! Get $10 off your first product order of $50 or more on italic.com with code ABSOLUTELYNOT . With StoryWorth I am giving those I love most a thoughtful, personal ...
Dec 01, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 129
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her favorite, Bad bitch, female chef, Soraya Khoury- owner of Hen Mother Cookhouse in ATL. Did you know that fixing your dry ass bullshit turkey is as simple as slathering that bitch with clarified butter? Chef Soraya has all the tips and tricks to make your holiday perfect while also fighting the patriarchy! I’ve got you a special 30% off your order and free shipping in the US for BLACK FRIDAY. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/A...
Nov 24, 2021•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 128
Heather is fresh off of having her labia, ahem, I mean larynx investigated and things are rough. She is joined today by good friend and road dog Christina Tompkins to chat all things tour, positive heckling, farty cowboys, and the power of Google. After all the computer knows more than you ever will. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first or...
Nov 17, 2021•51 min•Ep. 127
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her mother, Judge Judy, to discuss her toddler-like behavior on the road this weekend. She showed up ready to party and inevitably steal the show. They discuss Robin's old blind-dates, a chocolate factory and how men never change, for example getting boners on the dance floor! So much family fun and more! Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Right now, Modern...
Nov 10, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 126
On this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is triggered by a woman named Margret who wouldn't let her have her hometown sportz moment in peace. Her husband doesnt know what a thermometer is and she was shaken like Italian dressing at the Braves game and is really raging on memories from the past. She hits the hotline and clearly y'all were goin through some shit this weekend too. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100 R...
Nov 03, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 125
Heather is fresh off her weekend in Ohio where she had a genital injury but things are turning around now that she is reunited with her BFF, Raymond Padilla. He’s a pillar of every community but also a full liability. They discuss “tying one on” and squirting through life. Foria is offering our listeners 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/Absolutely or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout! I’ve got you 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted....
Oct 27, 2021•59 min•Ep. 124
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off an amazing weekend of touring and is jazzed with the spirit of the Lord, We rebuke any evil in the name of Jesus... and ALSO answer your horrific voicemails on the Absolutely Not line. If you need a little support to help you through the end of the year, or want to start building towards a better upcoming year, Talkspace is here to help. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first mon...
Oct 20, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 123
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather finally gets her mother to sit down and give her 10 minutes of time. Robin has an extensive pro's and cons list of dating must-haves, and good luck to anyone at all that can live up to her list of demands. Naturally the conversation is as ADHD as the kid named Terry in your first grade class, but here we are folks. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 See Oldnavy.com/bodequalit...
Oct 13, 2021•49 min•Ep. 122
