Perfectionism is a sneaky little bitch. What makes me say that? Well, most of us wouldn’t actually SAY that we expect perfection of ourselves. That’s ridiculous, right?! Clearly we’re much smarter than that. 😜And yet… most of us nod along knowingly when we hear things like, “I brushed off the 20 positive comments and obsessed about the ONE negative comment.” If that’s not perfectionism, I don't know what is!
Too fat. Too skinny. Too much cellulite. Not enough muscle. Big butt? Ok, but better have a tiny waist. We are told every single day a MILLION ways that our bodies should NOT be. What the actual fuck, right? Between mainstream media, social media, and all the SuPeR heLpFuL comments our families and friends make— it’s no wonder we grow up with so much shame, anxiety and guilt around how we look and feel in our bodies. (And let’s mince no words about it, fat phobia is RACIST, too.) Just when it se...
Have you ever been curious about the difference between life coaching and therapy? Or wanted a peek behind the curtain with either one? If you just read an Instagram or blog post on “coaching vs therapy,” there’s a very strong chance it’s ridiculously oversimplified. “Therapists work on ‘problems’ rooted in the past, coaches work on goals for the future!” COOL. Except it ain’t that simple. Thankfully, Katie Read is joining me for this episode to help us unpack some of the complexity. As you’ll h...
How many times have you said to yourself or someone else, “OMG, I’m SO overwhelmed”? Like… 10 times in the last week alone?! I get it, and I’ve absolutely been there— but it’s also something I’ve worked really hard to shift out of and into a more helpful, empowered mindset. And it’s a challenge my clients come to me with all the time: How can I stop feeling so overwhelmed??
It’s pretty cool that we’re living at a time when our culture is least *starting* to recognize that people (especially women) don’t cease to have value and worth as soon as they hit middle age. Of course, we still have a HELLUVA long way to go toward eliminating ageism— but thanks to people like Jen Vertanen, we’re making progress.
As much as there arguably shouldn’t be such a thing as a #trendingdiagnosis 😂, we all know the internet has been BLOWING the F up with all things ADHD. And hey— if it helps people get the tools and support they need, I’m for it.
What comes up for you when you see these words? Bitch. Whore. Slut. Pussy. Are these words inherently bad, or do they only feel “bad” because they’ve been weaponized against women and used to control us?
In this episode, we’re diving into the 3 Qualities You Need to Cultivate to Saunter into Your Bad Bitch Era. I’ll also give you a clear action step for each that you can realistically do in the next 24 hours—or okay, take a few days… but the key is your actions should be small and simple enough that they could be done in the next 24 hours!
Welcome to the Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast! What does it actually mean to be a "Bad Bitch"? I’m Valerie Martin, licensed therapist, coach and your host— and if you’re asking me, it means being fully alive, unstoppable, kicking ass at the things that light you up, and being permanently unavailable for the things that make you feel like shit. In this podcast, we’ll explore mental & emotional wellness, strategies for getting shit done (especially for all my fellow ADHD and Squirrel Brained busi...
Brief note from Val before we dive into today's episode:In bittersweet news, this is the FINAL episode episode of Bodyful— but I'm not going anywhere, and neither are these episodes! Stay subscribed to this feed, and you'll get episodes of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast, which will be launching January 24, 2023.And for now— a wonderful final Bodyful conversation with our guest, personal stylist Dacy Gillespie... As a surprise to literally no one, the style & fashion industry is not typically ki...
The Creatures of Change podcast ended up being way more meta for me than I’d planned…After recording a season of 6 episodes with incredible guests, I landed on clarity about MY next big change professionally— which measns hanging up my hat with this iteration of podcasting to make room for the next thing.But these episodes will live on as a mini-season within my main podcast feed, because the conversations were incredibly inspirational and instructive examples of embracing change— perhaps none m...
*Announcement*Creatures of Change podcast is no longer releasing new episodes. The episode archives will remain available in the same podcast feed as Valerie’s new show, Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast. Happy listening! You never know when an old acquaintance will chance to cross your path again.In this case, Melanie Reese— a therapist I worked down the hall from for over a year— saw the news about this podcast and reached out about being a guest. In this ~40 minute conversation, we connected on a d...
*Announcement*Creatures of Change podcast is no longer releasing new episodes. The episode archives will remain available in the same podcast feed as Valerie’s new show, Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast. Happy listening! I found Jenny Blake online way back in 2015— I don’t recall exactly how, but probably after hearing her on someone else’s podcast.I resonated immediately with her message, her love of systems, and unique ideas about personal and professional growth. I followed everything she’s create...
*Announcement*Creatures of Change podcast is no longer releasing new episodes. The episode archives will remain available in the same podcast feed as Valerie’s new show, Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast. Happy listening!Ray Holloman (often at his most hilarious in tandem with his wife Alicia) is one of those people whose posts cause you to actually cackle.He’s witty, kind, silly, freakishly productive, obsessed with dinosaurs— and until 6 years ago, was living in a body that didn’t feel like his own....
*Announcement*Creatures of Change podcast is no longer releasing new episodes. The episode archives will remain available in the same podcast feed as Valerie’s new show, Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast. Happy listening!Welp, not to make it ~aLL aBoUt Me~ 😝 but for the first episode of Creatures of Change, I thought it would be fun to talk about some of the changes I’ve made or experienced throughout my 36 years so far.Once I finished outlining the 10 changes I wanted to touch on, I realized that in...
Hi y'all! I am popping in. In the podcast feed over here for a moment to share. Share an exciting update. You may have heard this if you listened to Bodyful episode 24 with Mary Reynolds Thompson that recently aired: the podcast is relaunching in the new year! It will still live in this same feed, but will be revamped as Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast. More to come on that with a trailer soon, but for now, I just wanted to give you a heads up on what to expect in the feed between now and then (incl...
Every now and then you come across a writer whose words and ideas just hit you bone-deep.For me, most of them have been people whose words make me feel more intimately connected with the world around me: Mary Oliver, Robin Wall-Kimmerer, Richard Powers, Bill Plotkin— and most recently, Mary Reynolds Thompson.When I started digging into Mary’s work in preparation for this conversation, I felt that rare but familiar deep resonance. In her latest book, A Wild Soul Woman, she explores five landscape...
As a person who’s never been into sports, the thought of walking into a boxing ring is more than a little intimidating— but that’s exactly what I did yesterday with the support of trauma-informed boxing coach Cleveland Hughes.Not 10 minutes prior, I called it a “boxing rink” 🤡 😂 — so suffice to say, I don’t know much about boxing. But even with just a few minutes of instruction, it was so clear to me how useful these skills could be, not only to develop physical strength, but also sharp mental...
In 2018, I went to a hypnotherapy training near Seattle. It was not your traditional therapy training— there were maybe about 30 of us staying at essentially a large cabin in the woods for about 6 days, sharing a room with 3 random strangers.One of my roommates, Jasmin Cage, happened to be from Memphis, just a couple hours down the road from me in Nashville— and we hit it off instantly. Both yoga teachers, both vegan (for the animals and other reasons), both Enneagram 7 squirrel-brains. 😝I’d al...
I recently had a student in a yoga class ask me “what exactly is trauma-informed yoga?” For the long answer, see the research paper I wrote back in 2016— but for a shorter answer, I created this solo episode that’s relevant for students and teachers alike.Also, the subject of cultural humility (vs cultural appropriation) in yoga has become so intertwined for me with trauma-informed principles, because they’re both about HONORING: honoring the autonomy of each student, and honoring the wider purp...
Shea Rose (she/her) is one of those rare humans who is both incredibly multifaceted and genuinely DEEP in all of those facets— like a shimmering emerald that catches the light from every direction.She is a musician, an activist, an educator, a healer— and she brings such richness into all of these capacities after having journeyed her own path from trauma to healing in ways deepened all aspects of her voice: inner voice, physical voice, and written voice.In this conversation, Shea and I explore ...
Each year, there are just a few books that make it onto my all-time favorites roster, and this year, one of those is called Lifting Heavy Things: Healing Trauma One Rep at a Time.I highlighted damn-near half the book because there was so much that resonated personally and professionally. A few chapters in, I knew I wanted to try to get the author Laura Khoudari on the podcast.Fortunately for me, she quickly responded and was down for it— after all, Bodyful is kind of a perfect fit for all the to...
Sexual desire is one of the most loaded relationship topics in our culture— and challenges with it are the most common reason couples state for seeking therapy.In this solo episode, I share about some of the concepts I’ve found most useful since learning more about sexual desire, desire differences in relationships, and how to get unstuck when you’re struggling with desire in your relationship.I hope you find this episode helpful, and I'd love to know if there are topics you'd like to see covere...
The word “somatic” is very on-trend right now (…unless you’re the APA and you’ve surreptitiously withdrawn contuing education credits for all somatic-focused trainings because you’re a bunch of rigid, evidence-based-yet-evidence-denying buttheads)… oh, did I say that?I digress. The science** is clear that somatic (AKA body-focused) approaches are effective for treating trauma, anxiety, depression, and more— and, outside of mental health issues, that working directly with the body (as opposed to ...
I've had a bad case of Life Getting in the Way recently— which has involved some amazing trips and experiences, but I'm eager to get back to a biweekly routine with the podcast! My next guest interview was gracious about rescheduling when I got unexpectedly stuck in New York, so that episode will release in two weeks. Meanwhile, I thought I'd share a solo episode with a primer on self-regulation via working directly with the nervous system— why we should know about it and how we can do it, with ...
converastion with researcher and author Zephyr Scott on what our food system alienation has to do with our ruptured relationship with food and body, and what we can do about it
converastion with therapist Valerie Martin and dietitian Emily Murray on healing our relationships with food— whether related to normalized disordered eating in our culture, or recovery from an eating disorder
Confession:As much as I’ve lived (and practiced psychotherapy) long enough to know there is no such thing as a “magic bullet” cure-all for emotional and physical pain, I remain permanently and eagerly on the lookout for strategies and ideas that might be juuust a bit shy of magic.And believe me when I say that I have purchased an embarrassing amount of books, programs, apps, trainings, and online courses in that ongoing quest. In the summer of 2021 as I was clicking around on Amazon, the good ol...
I am not a naturally “calm” person, and it’s not often that I meet someone who instantly makes me feel calm in their presence. But when I met Jill Dunkley in 2019, that’s absolutely how I felt.Jill is grounded, real, warm, kind, smart, and wise, and I’m grateful to call her a friend.In this conversation, Jill and I explore:what it means to be in right relationship both inside and outside ourselveshow trauma-informed practices and ecopsychology can support us in developing those capacitiesthe rel...
Spoiler alert: Diet Culture (along with its co-conspirators The Patriarchy and White Supremacy) is THE WOOOORST.And even though it may be called “diet" culture, this term has come to represent a tangled, shitty web of harmful systems that impact not just our relationship with food, but also our relationship with our bodies, movement, and how much privilege (or lack thereof) we carry in our day-to-day lives.For the majority of people who were raised in that overculture, “exercise” was something t...
