When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer. In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed by their kids' recent behavior. One child seems hooked on playing that he's a "bad guy" and becomes physically aggressive. Another te...
Aug 13, 2024•24 min•Ep 349•Transcript available on Metacast When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guide “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.” The book has been aptly described...
Aug 06, 2024•42 min•Ep 348•Transcript available on Metacast Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They're also driven to seek our attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids' play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. She suggests helpful alternatives that not only encourage play, but also bolster self-esteem and strengthen parent-child bonds.&nbs...
Jul 30, 2024•25 min•Ep 347•Transcript available on Metacast Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, and affection are offered. One parent writes: “Sometimes his feelings are too much for us. It's hard when the entire day is ruine...
Jul 23, 2024•28 min•Ep 346•Transcript available on Metacast Potty training is always an adventure, and it can be a confusing, sometimes frustrating experience. There are countless books on the subject, and there's plenty of advice from both experts and well-meaning friends and family. Since every child’s process is unique to them and depends on so many internal and external influences, it’s difficult to find a one-size-fits-all approach. In this episode, Janet responds to several questions from parents whose kids are having difficulties using the toilet....
Jul 16, 2024•37 min•Ep 345•Transcript available on Metacast A parent consults with Janet about her one-year-old who screams, cries, "loses it anytime he’s picked up and moved to do something else or is told he can’t go somewhere.” She's concerned that it's too early for this type of behavior, wonders how to respond and if she’s doing something wrong. Janet shares her perspective and offers specific advice for handling his resistance to diaper changes, separation, and more. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKid...
Jul 09, 2024•36 min•Ep 344•Transcript available on Metacast In this encore episode Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices ...
Jul 02, 2024•38 min•Ep 343•Transcript available on Metacast Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack me up too, and even became family lore. Some of these you've definitely heard of, others my kids and I invented. None are about winning, losing, screens, or making any sort of product, just lear...
Jun 25, 2024•23 min•Ep 342•Transcript available on Metacast A whining child can show relentless persistence and stamina, can wear away at our will to hold our ground, maintain boundaries, and our temper. We may lose confidence and second guess ourselves: Am I doing something wrong? Am I being too rigid? Maybe I can put off my shower for an hour and play blocks. Why not ice cream for breakfast? Anything to stop the whining. Janet answers questions from some whine-weary parents, explains the why behind the whine, and how we can help our c...
Jun 18, 2024•21 min•Ep 341•Transcript available on Metacast A parent worries her 3-year-old needs more connection, but the attention that she and her partner give him never seems to be enough, even when they make themselves available for play. He demands they play a certain way, sometimes refuses to participate, throws his toys and has tantrums when they try to hold their ground. "The play ends up becoming him just wanting to watch us play and he stops engaging," the mom says. "Any advice you can give on how to navigate these reactions from him when we c...
Jun 11, 2024•33 min•Ep 340•Transcript available on Metacast Tilt Parenting founder Debbie Reber joins Janet to discuss the unique challenges families face as they learn to understand and support a child with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, giftedness, processing challenges, twice-exceptionality, or other neurodifferences. While Debbie's advice is especially powerful for parents of neurodivergent kids, her insights will resonate with every parent. As she says, “None of us are parenting the kid that we expected.” Later in this episode, Debbi...
Jun 04, 2024•49 min•Ep 339•Transcript available on Metacast We all want our kids to proceed through life with confidence as they develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because we care so much, it can be difficult for us to watch them struggle when faced with a challenge or a new skill. It's especially tough to see them becoming so frustrated that they give up or refuse to even try in the first place, even when we've done all we can to encourage them. In this episode, Janet shares a helpful reframe and actionable guidelines for fostering our...
May 28, 2024•30 min•Ep 338•Transcript available on Metacast Our kids' behavior can mystifying, aggravating, worrying, and sometimes even infuriating. While the answers for resolving our concerns tend to be specific and unique to each particular situation, there are also general themes that can guide us. Janet explores one such theme in this week's episode and explains how it applies to 3 different situations parents have written to her about. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com . Please support our spo...
May 21, 2024•37 min•Ep 337•Transcript available on Metacast We all experience difficult moments with our kids, and it’s not uncommon for us to lose confidence in ourselves or feel stuck. Need a parenting boost? In this special episode, Janet shares 7 of her go-to parenting power tools, mindsets, and mantras geared to help you focus your energies most effectively and (if needed) make positive, lasting changes in your approach. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com . Please support our sponsors and ta...
May 14, 2024•25 min•Ep 336•Transcript available on Metacast Janet shares a success story from a parent who describes her shame, heartbreak, "the heavy emotional load" she carried for the first 4 years of her son's life as he vehemently rejected her care, preferring his father. After reading one of Janet's articles, this mom began to see her son's behavior in a whole new light and improve her situation almost immediately. "I am now confident that whatever happens—whatever my son will throw at me (even when he hits puberty)—I can handle it." Learn mo...
May 07, 2024•26 min•Ep 335•Transcript available on Metacast If you're the parent of young children, there's a good chance you are very hard on yourself. Australian parenting guru Maggie Dent joins Janet in this episode of “Unruffled” to discuss the unprecedented pressures and challenges today's parents face living up to ever-changing standards set by social media, peers, and even schools. Parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. Maggie and Janet share their long view perspectives, experiences, advice, and hope. Maggie share...
Apr 30, 2024•48 min•Ep 334•Transcript available on Metacast With our most loving intentions as parents, we might find ourselves stuck in a full-time role we never wanted—as our child's playmate and entertainer. In this episode, a mom asks Janet for advice regarding her "bright, busy, extroverted four-year-old girl who loves having my complete attention.” Unfortunately, this parent is feeling she really needs some time to herself, but when she tries to take a break, her daughter is unwilling to let her go and seems anxious and insecure, as if this is a pe...
Apr 23, 2024•36 min•Ep 333•Transcript available on Metacast What does respectful parenting look like as our kids get older? Where can we get advice similar to Janet's but for older kids? Janet receives these kinds of questions often and takes the opportunity to answer them in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/p...
Apr 16, 2024•35 min•Ep 332•Transcript available on Metacast As parents, we all experience moments when our kids just won’t go with the program – brushing their teeth, dressing for school, cleaning up their toys, going to bed (and staying there). We ask nicely, and they ignore us. Then we ask not so nicely, and they dig their heals in. Before long we’re frustration turns to exasperation, and we either get angry or throw up our hands in surrender. At a certain age, our kids are developmentally programmed to resist us no matter how much kindness and respect...
Apr 09, 2024•29 min•Ep 331•Transcript available on Metacast Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the...
Apr 02, 2024•28 min•Ep 330•Transcript available on Metacast Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it's crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children's most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as a primary attachment figure when our child is cared for by others? How do we help kids to develop healthy relationships with peers? What's the best wa...
Mar 26, 2024•48 min•Ep 329•Transcript available on Metacast We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?" Learn more about Janet's "N...
Mar 19, 2024•29 min•Ep 328•Transcript available on Metacast We can be our kids' greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that "good job!" or "you're so smart!" aren't the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity on what can be a confusing topic. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Po...
Mar 12, 2024•28 min•Ep 327•Transcript available on Metacast Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. "She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed." She's also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can offer some guidance. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their sp...
Mar 05, 2024•47 min•Ep 326•Transcript available on Metacast How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It's never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy a...
Feb 27, 2024•26 min•Ep 325•Transcript available on Metacast Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to. Learn more about Janet's ...
Feb 20, 2024•21 min•Ep 324•Transcript available on Metacast Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won...
Feb 13, 2024•44 min•Ep 323•Transcript available on Metacast Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experie...
Feb 06, 2024•31 min•Ep 322•Transcript available on Metacast "Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share. In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a ques...
Jan 30, 2024•25 min•Ep 321•Transcript available on Metacast A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and eve...
Jan 23, 2024•27 min•Ep 320•Transcript available on Metacast 
