Episode description

Trauma therapist Grace Bithell explains:

* 🧠 complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), an oft-overlooked mental health condition that affects your self-image and relationships

* 🖤 reparenting yourself to heal from CPTSD (and “break the cycle”)

The sneaky thing about CPTSD is that the people who have it are often the last to believe it. Most people haven’t even heard of it.

I, too, brushed off my first PTSD diagnosis, thinking it was ludicrous: Veterans get PTSD, for f**k’s sake! I haven’t been in combat. 🙄

* PTSD typically develops after a single traumatic event or a series of traumatic events that are clearly identifiable.

* CPTSD (Complex PTSD) is caused by chronic, repeated trauma — often in childhood or long-term abuse.

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder is what Grace calls “the survivor’s illness.” I’ve also heard it called “the shame disorder.” It’s a set of learned survival mechanisms that helped you cope as a child but, in your adult life, can lead to:

* anxiety

* hyper-vigilance

* difficulty regulating emotions

* deep shame and poor self image

* trust issues

Links + Resources

* Grace and I both learned about CPTSD in this book by Stephanie Foo: Why My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

* THE CPTSD book: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by psychotherapist Pete Walker

* Grace’s blog about trauma, OCD, and CPTSD

The Guest

Grace Bithell is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in helping people who had “difficult parents.” She grew up in a fostering family which was her first exposure to complex childhood trauma and inspired her to become a trauma therapist (and she’s been published seven times in Fostering Families Today!)

* 📍 Location: Utah, USA

* 📱 @theguiltgirl on Threads

Get in touch with Grace here.

Key Takeaways

1️⃣ CPTSD affects your emotions, relationships, and view of yourself. It is caused by long-term trauma in which a person feels unsafe, unseen, or trapped.

2️⃣ Shame feels like a personal flaw, but it’s a survival response. CPTSD usually comes with deep wells of shame because you learned to blame yourself rather than recognize your needs were not being met.

3️⃣ Reparenting yourself is a way to start healing from CPTSD. That means: validating your own emotions; setting boundaries; and responding kindly to yourself.

Time Stamps

* 4:57: What is CPTSD?

* 10:24: The difference between CPTSD and PTSD

* 17:47: Emotional flashbacks

* 30:19: Parenting with CPTSD

* 46:51: CPTSD red flags

That’s all for this episode. If this hit home, please leave a comment and let me know (I read every single one!) or share with someone who may need to hear it.

Upcoming

* S1E11 Narcissistic Abuse x Telling Your Story with Sarene Leeds

* S1E12 Pelvic Floor Dysfunction x Incontinence with Patricia Siegel

* S1E13 Female Friendships x Escaping Toxic Relationships with Stephanie McPhail