We all have different needs for closeness and distance, for intimacy and independence. You might have heard terms like anxious or avoidant attachment to describe this, and these tendencies can create challenges - particularly when people with different needs try to relate to each other. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we're drawn to people who activate our insecurities, how anxiety manifests differently in "pursuers" versus "distancers," and what we can all do to work with our natural tendencies more skillfully. They discuss common relationship patterns, why pursuers usually receive more blame than distancers, schizoid personalities, and practical ways to break free from entrenched patterns.
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You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Key characteristics of pursuers and distancers
9:25: Demands and reassurance
13:35: Assigning blame, and gender stereotypes
20:40: Why opposites attract, the power of small wins, and changing ourselves
31:15: The distancer
40:45: Finding motivation to identify common ground with our partner
54:30: The pursuer
1:00:00: Self-consciousness and ego
1:02:10: Brave questions to ask in your relationship
1:07:00: Recap
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Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic | Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson podcast - Listen or read transcript on Metacast
