Episode description

Today we're talking about how to strengthen your marriage during hard times instead of letting those hard times pull you apart. I'm joined by my husband of almost 9 years, Andrew, for today's episode as we share some practical tips that have made all the difference for us as we've gone from bombing the hard times to having the hard times actually bring us together more.

• Everyone's challenging times are different, but we can apply some principles to keep on the same page with our spouse when we are feeling the challenge.
• When big challenges are going on, remember that you can't always be "on." Give yourself and your spouse grace. Lower your expectations!
• Paper plates, to us, means it's a hard season and dishes is something we can let slide. It's so much easier to get kids to dump their plates in the garbage than to handle all the cleanup of the kitchen after dealing with a meal.
• Assume that your spouse is doing their best, even if it's nowhere close to their normal maximum capacity.
• Check in and connect every night especially during hard times.
• Ask "How are you? and Where are you at?" Figure out the stories you are telling yourself about your interpretations of the day. You'll often find that the same experience has impacted each of you completely differently.
• Ask "If I could do one thing, what's the one thing that's the most meaningful or helpful to you today?" or "What deadlines do you have?" "What are your top priorities right now that need time and focus?"
• Asking these types of questions help figure out the pain points everyone is dealing with and maximizes the little effort that can get done during the day.
• We have weekly planning meetings as a couple. In that, we each share our top 3 priorities to accomplish that week. Planning helps us adjust our efforts to help both of us meet our goals.
• Share some fun and happy things that happened each day during your evening check-in.
• Friday night default is date night! Rarely do we leave the house, but we know we will spend the time together after kids are in bed. Planning on it makes it something to look forward to and help us grow closer together.
• Serve your spouse a little, even if you feel maxed out. It will go such a long way!