Episode description

What’s wrong with my child? Why won’t they listen? Why is everything a negotiation?

Why do I have to keep yelling, making threats, and going from 0-100 in a split second? 

What’s wrong with me?

Mama–you’re not the first one to ask these questions. We’ve all flipped our lids, cried in the bathroom, felt horribly guilty for yelling at our kids and wondered, at the end of the day, if we’re just defective parents. 

What if there’s nothing wrong with your child, even though they’re a little…spicy?

And what if there’s nothing wrong with you? What if a few more tools in your toolbelt are enough to be the kind and compassionate parent you want to be? 

Meet Mary Van Geffen, parenting coach for parents with spicy children. She’s helped thousands of moms practice staying calm, kind, and firm with their strong-willed children, and she’s a mom with ADHD, just like us. 

In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, Mary and I discuss:

- Mary’s journey to her ADHD diagnosis and the self-acceptance that followed

- Her struggles with parenting as an ADHD mom and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and how tools like self-compassion help her cope with overstimulation

- What it means to have a “spicy child,” and why we can stop trying to figure out “what’s wrong” with our kids

- Self-regulation, self-compassion, and other practices that support us through parenting stress and overwhelm

- Cycle syncing and parenting – how we can sync our parenting style with our menstrual cycle to plan activities around our energy levels and show up for our children as the best version of ourselves

- The 1-minute meditation that helps you get out of your swirling mind and into the calmness of your body when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed

During the episode, Mary mentions Rich Roll, who had Lisa Miller, PhD on his show (episode #654). She wrote the book called The Awaken Brain. 

Mary also mentions during the meditation Shirzad Chamine, who researched and wrote a book around Positive Intelligence.

Find it here: We Should All Be Millionaires

A big thank you to Mary Van Geffen for sharing her heart-centered wisdom with us! 

To learn more tools for parenting spicy children, follow Mary on Instagram at: @maryvangeffen

Visit her website: https://www.maryvangeffen.com/

Or join the waitlist for her live, 8-week course, Moms of Spicy Ones: http://www.maryvangeffen.com/waitlist 

Learn how to organize your to-do list and your commitments to yourself in the Daily Planning for ADHD Moms course. Join here: bit.ly/adhdplan

Prefer reading? Click here to read the transcription of this episode.