Episode description

EPISODE 72 - Aly Bird - How To Be A Better Ally in Grief, Showing Up For Others

When I was thirty the person that I loved and trusted the most in this world died without any warning or time to prepare. I wasn’t left with just heartbreak and longing, I was leftover in a world that no longer made sense to me anymore and sensations in my body that were foreign, involuntary and happening without my consent.

Before my beloved died I’d never experienced a loss that changed my life so dramatically. From my spiritual beliefs to my worldview right down to not knowing what possessive pronouns to use, I was left bewildered. Was it still our bed if I would be the only one sleeping in it now?

In the world I was familiar with, people died when they were old, if you were a good person then good things happened to you. I longed for my future because I thought we, me and my beloved – the person that I chose to spend my life with – were in control of it. But my beloved’s death changed all of that.

In the aftermath of my loss, I quickly realized that my experience of support was unique and unlike the horror stories of isolation and ignorance that I would hear from my widowed peers. With a willingness to lean into personal development, my support network and I dove headfirst into a world that none of us ever wanted to live in. And with unconditional love, courage, and brutal honesty, we’ve been auspiciously navigating how to live without my beloved, together. It’s our collective experience that inspired me to write Grief Ally, and develop a practice in teaching grief allyship because no one will ever know how to support someone they love through the long-haul of grief if we’re not willing to talk about it.

The Book: Grief Ally: Helping people you love cope with death, loss, and grief -

When you hear that your best friend, partner, sibling – your person – has lost someone that they love you’re going to be shocked. You’re going to panic. You’re going to want to do everything that you can to help them with the pain that you know they are experiencing.  Unfortunately, despite your best intentions, a misplaced gesture or word can have serious consequences. 

Drawing from first-hand experience and therapeutic practices, Grief Ally will teach you essential life skills that everyone will, unfortunately, need at some point in their life: how to console a grieving loved one.  It’s written for friends and family members who want to support a loved one suffering a loss that they never wanted or expected. And with a flexible approach that anyone can learn and practice, there’s no excuse for you to be terrible at grief support. 

Grief Ally is the answer we’re all looking for when someone dies and we’re left asking “What do I do?” and “How do I help?”

https://alybird.com/

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