116 \\ When Co-Parenting Fails in Your Stepfamily: Parallel Parenting May Be Your Next Step When Dealing With a Difficult Bio Parent
Episode description
Is your blend like a fraction broken out this way? 92% bio-mom calling the shots and 8% bio-dad preventing an all-out war? How do you protect your kids when co-parenting is toxic, hostile, narcissistic, or otherwise threatening?
We start with the basics - defining co-parenting and parallel parenting. In our FB community this is a BIG topic. Let's talk about stepfamily parenting here and virtually.
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😇 Co-parenting
✅ fostering a long-term relationship with your ex, for the good of the kids
✅ clear, firm rules about communication
✅ mutually agreed upon schedules, day to day
✅ parenting methods (parenting boundaries) are similar
✅ scheduled check-ins by parents
✅ scheduled check-ins with kids
✅ process negative feelings before meeting with co-parent
✅ firm boundaries for parenting and communicating with the other co-parent
✅ trust is present/no need for excessive documentation
✅ promotes respect in both homes
✅ reduces anxiety associated with two homes
😡Parallel parenting
🧨 one parent is unwilling or incapable of fostering a long-term relationship
🧨 communication is toxic, emotionally draining, and more about control than solving anything
🧨 aberrant schedules create decision-fatigue and constant changes which are disruptive for the kids and the homes
🧨 Parenting methods distinctly opposed to one another. Different beliefs, values, boundaries in each home
🧨 Toxicity, Grudges, Narcissism, and Resentment are the motivators for checking in - very different from co-parenting with the kids' best at the forefront
🧨 scheduled check-ins with the kids - but separately in your own home due to the inherent conflict that prevents collaboration with a difficult co-parent
🧨 process negative feelings before meeting with co-parent
🧨 focus on the boundaries within your home and the mutually agreed upon methods of responding you and your
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