Episode description
Rebecca White is Aja Nepenthe.
An expert online dating coach and creator of Aja Nepenthe, the cutting edge way to date safely in a modern world. Her commitment to creating an optimal and safe dating experience is her life’s work. It is Rebecca’s personal experience and expertise that makes her strive to ensure each of her clients receives the customized and personal attention they need to be successful and safe in finding the love they deserve and desire. Rebecca is a lover of Asian studies and travel, hosting pool parties for friends and fussing over her gorgeous daughter and Alaskan Malamute.
From Confusion to Confidence as Rebecca shares her story.
So there I was, after 18 years of a committed relationship, alone and wondering how to date again. Everything had changed since my 20s. Hell, I don’t think I even had a Facebook account back then. Much less a smartphone with apps. Going out with my girlfriends wasn’t productive at all. Nor, as a single mom, did I have the time. So how DO people meet each other now? At the suggestion of single friends, I tried all the dating apps. The responses I got were overwhelming and some were disturbing. Some turned out to be fakes/scams.
It was a jungle out there. After MANY mistakes, rejections and just plain creepy interactions, I got frustrated and gave up. I took some time to go over my approach, my mistakes and most importantly applied what I’d learned in my background with cybersecurity and domestic violence advocacy and came up with a better, safer approach. I chose one app that felt right for me, applied my new approach in structuring my profile to attract the right people and help me weed out the wrong ones.
Most importantly, I applied safety measures to maintain control over my privacy and keep me safe when meeting people for first dates. And it worked. I had control over my inbox, which, while it had fewer messages, they were from people of quality who shared common interests and goals. If they didn’t respect my boundaries, they were out. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I felt in control and most importantly, that I was keeping myself and my family safe.
I finally met a man who respected all my boundaries, went at my pace and treated me as I deserved to be treated. I was finally getting my needs fulfilled after decades of feeling neglected. It was a revelation. I decided I needed to share these methods with other women who also were finding themselves thrust into a totally new dating world after years of a committed relationship. I wanted to help them avoid all the mistakes I made. And most of all, I wanted to help keep them and their families safe!
With the help of some friends and a great mentor, I developed a program to lead women from that first moment of confusion to a place of confidence and control without having to go through what I did. In just a few weeks, we can get there together. Just consider me that sassy friend that tells you “Oh girl, no. Don’t do that. Do this instead”.
I’ll help you pick the apps that suit you, set up a profile that gets the results you want, learn to navigate chatting online, get to and through that first date safely and confidently. And I am available after the first step for help navigating new relationships to get your needs fulfilled or help you decide if you need to move on. I am here to help you get what you want and need with me to expertly guide you every step of the way.
You can learn more about Aja and how you can work with her to get on your way to finding the love you deserve,