Episode description

Study after study, survey after survey, shows that ministers have a hard time forming and keeping friendships in their congregations. On one hand, ministers and their families can never quite escape feeling like they are different from everyone else in the congregation, like they are expected to be a little better than human. On the other hand, church members often only show ministers their best side. The majority of ministers in the United States report that they feel lonely. Perhaps that is why so many ministers burn out, drop out, or flame out because of exhaustion, failing marriages, loss of faith, or personal sin. For their own health and well-being (and the health and well-being of the congregations they serve), ministers need good friends. 

In this episode, both my dad (Travis Irwin) and mom (Debbie Irwin) talk about their experiences forming and keeping good friendships in the congregations they served for over 45 years of ministry. The inspiration for this episode is John Kerr, a member of the Steele Avenue Church of Christ who befriended Dad on the very first day of his ministry to that congregation. Dad and Mom talk about how their friendship with John and his wife, Jan, set the pattern and the tone for their entire 22 1/2 year ministry to the Steele Avenue Church of Christ. 

Dad and Mom will also share their insights on what it is like for ministers and their families to make friends in the congregations they serve and what boundaries need to be in place to keep those friendships "safe." I ask them what they wish that regular church folks would know and understand about their ministers and their families.

This is a good conversation about the importance of friendships to ministers. 

To keep track of Dad's battle with cancer and his latest treatments, please visit https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/travisirwin2.