Episode description

Episode 397 - Rachel Fowler - Writer, Actor, Director and Grief Coach - Hold Space For Those That Grieve

Grief is transformative.  It changes us, moulds us into something new.  It takes intention and reflection and being present to fully appreciate the metamorphosis, and to accept it, welcome it, turn towards it.

My mission is to give you a safe, comforting space to feel all the big feelings and conflicting emotions around the changes, losses or uncertainty you are facing.

I'll guide you through, ​I'll listen and I'll witness. 

Together we'll remember, we'll explore, we'll reframe, we'll tap into your creativity, we'll cry and we'll laugh.

My dad died after a long hospital stay and failure to thrive after several complicated surgeries. My 13 year old nephew died from a drug overdose on my daughters birthday.

In both of these incidents, I experienced beautiful kindness and emotional support from some and the painful recoil and avoidance from others.  The fear and discomfort of the latter stung in so many ways, adding little cuts to my emotionally bruised self. I dissected those cuts, those moments.  Intellectually, I knew they weren’t about me, but they pierced my core, they offended me still, and oh man, they HURT SO MUCH.  Grief is so isolating to begin with, and these made me spend most of my energy holding myself together, strapping my emotions in – all so I wouldn’t make others uncomfortable. 

And I learned that the pain subsided as I shifted my focus to the helpers.  

As Mr. Rogers says, “Look for the helpers. You’ll always find people who are helping.” Those who sat with me while I wept, unable to speak.  Those who held my hand, who took me to the airport, who watched Grace for a bit, who dropped off food, who remembered to ask me how I was and listen, even if I didn’t want to answer. 

The idea of holding space become more and more prominent in my creative work: I wrote and directed a short film about it, and am currently working on a Young Adult novel with this as a central theme.  I also trained as a coach in late 2019, and as we lived through the first wave of COVID and the lockdown of 2020, I realized that this was what I wanted to do.  

I want to hold space for people in pain.  Help them navigate the unchartered waters of loss and the uncertainty it brings.  Explore who they are now that they have been through this challenge, this bliss.  

Reveal to them that they are not broken, they are just beautifully, lovingly, painfully human.

https://www.rachelfowlergriefcoach.com/
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0288786/

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