There’s a pretty big gap between fantasy and reality. In my own research, I’ve found that about 80% of adults say they have a fantasy they’d like to act out at some point, but just about 20% have ever done so before. I’ve also found that only about half of adults say they’ve ever even shared this fantasy with a partner. So how can we get more comfortable talking about our fantasies and incorporating them into our sex lives? In this episode, we’re going to discuss what you...
Feb 17, 2023•25 min•Ep 168•Transcript available on Metacast A lot of us have had the experience of dating the “wrong” person over and over again. It’s just one unhealthy relationship after another. So why is it so common for people to find themselves in these repetitive relationship cycles? It’s often the result of our attachment style . In this episode, we’re going to dive into attachment theory to help you better understand the four main attachment styles, how to identify your own and that of the people you’re dating, as w...
Feb 14, 2023•28 min•Ep 167•Transcript available on Metacast It’s common for people in long-term relationships to get out of synch when it comes to sex. This can happen for a ton of reasons, from changes in health and hormones to relationship conflict to stress and so much more. But no matter the reason, it’s never too late to do a sex life “reset!” If sex has decreased, disappeared, or become less satisfying in your relationship, this episode is for you. We’re going to discuss how to identify your desires, how to communicate them to a partner...
Feb 10, 2023•31 min•Ep 166•Transcript available on Metacast How do you feel about your sexual fantasies? Research tells us that many people feel alone in their sexual turn-ons, thinking that their fantasies are strange or unusual. In fact, this is why one of the most common questions I get asked as a sex educator is: “are my fantasies normal?” As you’ll see in this episode, odds are that the things you’re fantasizing about are likely quite similar to the kinds of things that most other people are fantasizing about too, which means there’s no ...
Feb 07, 2023•29 min•Ep 165•Transcript available on Metacast There’s an interesting paradox in modern relationships where, if there’s too much jealousy, that can cause a lot of problems. At the same time, though, if there isn’t enough jealousy, that can also lead to problems. So let’s talk about this complicated emotion. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the good, bad, and ugly of jealousy, how to cope with this emotion in healthy ways, and things you can do to help a partner who might be especially prone to jealousy. I am...
Feb 03, 2023•32 min•Ep 164•Transcript available on Metacast Despite the fact that I write and talk about sex all day, I don’t actually watch a lot of movies and TV shows about sex because it often feels too much like work! However, every so often a film or show about sex comes along that I really enjoy because it’s both entertaining and gets the story right. And the new documentary A Sexplanation, billed as “ a comedic sex ed documentary about the universal search for love, connection and self-acceptance ,” does just that. For todayR...
Jan 31, 2023•55 min•Ep 163•Transcript available on Metacast Many of us have a mold for what romantic relationships “should” look like, and then we try to make our own relationships fit that. But, no matter how hard we try, sometimes it just doesn’t fit. And that’s because we’re going about relationships all wrong. Instead of building relationships on a set of things you think you’re “supposed” to do, we need to build them on the actual wants and needs of the partners. One way you can give your relationship a custom design is with the concept ...
Jan 27, 2023•35 min•Ep 162•Transcript available on Metacast One of the most popular articles on the Sex and Psychology blog is about the psychology of facials , a sexual act in which one person ejaculates on another person’s face. This behavior is one of many kinds of performative sexuality often seen in porn. Facials in particular have sparked a lot of debate because some people see this behavior as inherently degrading, especially when a woman is on the receiving end of it. So in today’s episode, we’re going to dive into the psychology of f...
Jan 24, 2023•37 min•Ep 161•Transcript available on Metacast One of the key principles embedded in many models of sexual consent is that consent must be specific. In other words, you need to know exactly what it is that you’re saying yes to. This also means you need to know in advance what it is that you want. However, we often don’t know what we want when it comes to sex, which makes navigating this issue rather tricky for everyone, but especially for women. Consenting to that which is unknown can be highly erotic, but it can be really risky, especially ...
Jan 20, 2023•48 min•Ep 160•Transcript available on Metacast As many as 1 in 3 college students in the United States may be participating in “slut pages.” Slut pages are part of a digital underground world in which nude or partially nude photos and videos of women are shared without their consent. These pages are sometimes a form of revenge porn, but they can also be a twisted game in which people are awarded points for obtaining nude photos of specific women. So how common are slut pages? Why do people participate in them? And how can we stop onlin...
Jan 17, 2023•37 min•Ep 159•Transcript available on Metacast Relationships are hard. But they can be especially hard when you or a partner are dealing with depression. In this episode, we’re going to explore how mental health issues like depression can pose unique relationship challenges, but also consider practical tips and tools for overcoming them, including how to be a supportive partner when you’re with someone who is depressed. I am joined once again by JoEllen Notte, a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the ...
Jan 10, 2023•33 min•Ep 158•Transcript available on Metacast As a sex educator, one of the most common questions I get from parents is when and how to talk to their kids about sex. When should these conversations begin? And what do you need to know to successfully navigate them? Let’s talk about “the talk!” In this show, we’re going to explore tips on how to normalize conversations about sex, sexuality, and relationships with your kids and give them the resources and skills they need to make healthy decisions and to lead happy and ...
Jan 03, 2023•36 min•Ep 157•Transcript available on Metacast What can you do to build stronger and healthier relationships in the New Year with everyone in your life? Let’s talk about it! In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss a wide range of relationships, starting with friendships, including how you can have an easier time both making and maintaining friends. We’re also going to talk about tips for starting new romantic connections (including how to get better at online dating), tips for strengthening romantic relationships new and...
Dec 27, 2022•33 min•Ep 156•Transcript available on Metacast The end of another year is rapidly approaching, and that means a lot of people are soon going to start making resolutions for self-improvement. Oftentimes, those resolutions revolve around improving one’s physical health through exercise and diet, or bettering one’s mental health through finding better work-life balance or setting new boundaries. However, as you ponder your own resolutions for the new year, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of sexual resolutions, you can ...
Dec 20, 2022•32 min•Ep 155•Transcript available on Metacast The latest evolution in pornography and erotica is virtual reality (VR), which is making adult content increasingly interactive. Most of the buzz about VR erotica involves taking solo masturbation to new heights. However, it can also be an innovative research method! VR is a way of simulating sex in a lab that can create a level of immersion you can’t replicate with 2-D porn. But an even more tantalizing application of VR is in the world of sex therapy. In fact, the future of sex therapy could b...
Dec 16, 2022•27 min•Ep 154•Transcript available on Metacast Intimacy coordinators carefully choreograph sexual and intimate scenes to ensure respect and safety for the performers. However, what they actually do—the nuts and bolts of it all—is difficult work that oftentimes goes unrecognized (or is taken for granted) by the time a movie or TV show reaches our screens. So what all goes into filming scenes that feature simulated sex or intimacy? What does that process look like, and what happens when things don’t unfold according to plan? ...
Dec 13, 2022•32 min•Ep 153•Transcript available on Metacast Sex scenes are common in movies and on TV, but have you ever stopped to think about everything that goes into bringing one of those scenes to life? It’s a unique situation, and it puts the actors in a highly vulnerable position. For example, what if your scene partner goes off script and does something that you did not previously consent to? Or what if the director asks you to do something you aren’t comfortable with? In the past, issues like these weren’t given a lot of consideration, but that ...
Dec 09, 2022•30 min•Ep 152•Transcript available on Metacast Low sexual desire is one of the most common sexual problems out there, but it’s something that has been notoriously difficult to treat pharmacologically. The search for a pill that can produce desire out of thin air has been elusive, and that’s because desire is very complex. So we need to look elsewhere for answers. One research-backed solution that has a lot of demonstrated success at both increasing sexual desire and dealing with other sexual difficulties is changing your headspace thro...
Dec 06, 2022•29 min•Ep 151•Transcript available on Metacast It is well known that depression (and certain drug treatments for depression, notably SSRIs) can lower sexual interest, desire, and activity levels. However, it turns out that the story of how depression and sex are connected is more complicated than this. Depression is one of those things that can affect different people in very different ways. In fact, research actually finds that depression has the potential to both increase and decrease sexual desire and behavior. So how do we explain this p...
Dec 02, 2022•29 min•Ep 150•Transcript available on Metacast We’ve talked a lot about orgasms on this show, but there’s still much to explore! So today’s episode is going to dig into some interesting aspects of orgasm we haven’t really discussed before. We’re also going to consider some tips on having better and more pleasurable orgasms. I am joined once again by sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz , a Professor at the University of Florida and author of the books Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It a...
Nov 29, 2022•36 min•Ep 149•Transcript available on Metacast For decades, sex toys were largely marketed to women, with male sex toys really only starting to make an appearance in the last few years. Survey studies find that most adult men say they’ve never used a sex toy before (whereas most women have), and part of the reason for this is because male sex toys are more stigmatized. So let’s normalize sex toys for men! My guest today is Jens Petter Wilhelmsen, CEO of Sweet Tech, the Norwegian company that designed and developed the Handy , a revolut...
Nov 25, 2022•35 min•Ep 148•Transcript available on Metacast We are once again in the midst of the annual abstinence challenge known as “No Nut November.” Basically, it involves men giving up ejaculation for the entire month (i.e., no “nutting” allowed). Those who partake do so for a wide variety of reasons, but they seem to be rooted in the idea that masturbation and orgasm are somehow unhealthy. So what does the research actually say? Let’s talk about it! For today’s episode, I’ve pulled together some of my favorite clips on the ...
Nov 22, 2022•31 min•Ep 147•Transcript available on Metacast In recent years, a growing number of women of reproductive age have started walking away from the birth control pill. In fact, one survey found that 70% of those who were using the pill said they had either stopped taking it or were thinking about going off of it in the last three years. Why are so many Gen Z and millennial adults going off the pill? What contraceptives are they using instead? And how is the U.S. Supreme Court’s reversal of Roe v. Wade going to impact all of this? Let̵...
Nov 18, 2022•28 min•Ep 146•Transcript available on Metacast Most people will encounter a sexual problem at some point in their lives, but most will suffer in silence. Shame and embarrassment lead a lot of folks to avoid talking about sex problems and seeking help for them. Unfortunately, by doing nothing, these problems often end up growing into much bigger issues. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Many sex problems can be solved on our own, without the need for therapy. So let’s talk about things you can do to solve common sexual problems and get your...
Nov 15, 2022•32 min•Ep 145•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to birth control pills, there’s more than meets the eye. Hormonal contraception can have wide-ranging effects on both body and mind, to the point where who you are on the pill might actually be quite different from who you are off the pill. The way your body responds to stress, the people you’re attracted to, your overall desire to have sex—these are just a few of the many ways that hormonal contraceptives might impact someone. So, let’s talk about! My guest...
Nov 11, 2022•41 min•Ep 144•Transcript available on Metacast Although the modern sex doll industry largely caters to straight men, a growing number of heterosexual women are getting in on the action by purchasing male sex dolls. Sex dolls for women have actually been around for more than a half-century, but they’ve changed quite a bit over the years. So who are the women buying male sex dolls? What are their reasons for purchasing them, and are they meeting women’s needs? And why is there so much stigma around sex doll ownership? Let’s t...
Nov 08, 2022•29 min•Ep 143•Transcript available on Metacast Want to lead a better life in the bedroom and beyond? This episode is for you! I asked six experts for their favorite pieces of sex advice, relationship advice, and life advice. These bonus interviews come from a stellar line-up of previous guests on the show, including: Sex researcher, educator, and therapist Dr. Kristen Mark (who appeared on Episode 46 ) Sex writer Tracy Clark-Flory (who appeared on Episode 24 ) Author and sex guru Emily Nagoski (who appeared on Episode 48 ) Sex therapist and ...
Nov 04, 2022•33 min•Ep 142•Transcript available on Metacast What was the most popular porn search term last year? According to Pornhub, it was hentai . This term refers to a form of animated or cartoon porn and it seems to be on the rise. So how did hentai come to be such a popular thing in the first place? And why do some people prefer animated porn to live action porn? Let’s talk about it! Sexuality educator Ashley Weller returns for this show. Ashley is a professor at Chapman University who runs a podcast called What’s your Position? that ...
Nov 01, 2022•47 min•Ep 141•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to buying and selling sex, people most commonly think of men as the buyers and women as the sellers. However, while men are indeed far more likely than women to report having paid for sex, recent media reports suggest that the number of women buying sex may be on the rise. So, let’s talk about it. I am joined by Hallie Lieberman, a sex historian and journalist who has written extensively about sex work. She is also author of the book Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy...
Oct 28, 2022•39 min•Ep 140•Transcript available on Metacast Imagine you are a sex therapist and one of your patients discloses a sexual interest that either makes you personally uncomfortable or is something you are totally unfamiliar with. This often happens when kinky people seek out sex therapy, and it sometimes results in clients not getting the help they really need. So let’s talk about navigating sex therapy with kinky clients. We’re going to discuss what therapists need to know, as well as how patients can identify kink-affirming providers. ...
Oct 25, 2022•36 min•Ep 139•Transcript available on Metacast 
