Attachment theory was originally based on the assumption that everyone is or wants to be monogamous; however, many people are polyamorous or otherwise engaged in consensual nonmonogamy. So how does attachment work when you have more than one partner? Can you have secure attachments with several partners at the same time? Let’s talk about it! I am joined once again by Jessica Fern, a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trau...
Oct 21, 2022•32 min•Ep 138•Transcript available on Metacast Most of us have had a kinky fantasy at some point in our lives, and many of us have actual experience with kink in the bedroom as well. In fact, nationally representative US surveys find that at least one-third of adults have engaged in some kind of BDSM. However, despite how common kink and BDSM are, myths and misconceptions abound. So let’s talk about kink! I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients . Stefani recently ...
Oct 18, 2022•33 min•Ep 137•Transcript available on Metacast The process of opening up a relationship can bring with it a number of benefits, but also a number of challenges. So what does it actually look like when a couple goes down the path of opening up? Let’s talk about it! My guest today is a leading expert on consensual non-monogamy and we’re going to explore what her own personal relationship journey looked like, as well as lessons she’s learned from several years of working as a therapist in this area. I am joined by Jessica Fern, a Psychoth...
Oct 14, 2022•31 min•Ep 136•Transcript available on Metacast Contrary to popular belief, genital stimulation isn’t absolutely necessary when it comes to orgasm. Many people have experiences with “non-genital orgasms,” which are orgasms that result from something other than stimulation of the penis or vulva. This can include a lot of different things, from nipple and ear stimulation to getting a tattoo or piercing to exercise and taking a bumpy car ride. So what do we know about all of these non-genital orgasms? Let’s talk about it! I am ...
Oct 11, 2022•25 min•Ep 135•Transcript available on Metacast Every relationship we have could benefit from defining some boundaries, whether we’re talking about relationships with our employers, friends, or sexual partners. However, most of us aren’t very good at establishing them because setting boundaries feels like saying “no,” and no can be a really difficult word to say for a lot of reasons. So let’s talk about boundaries. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss everything you need to know, including when to discuss them, how to com...
Oct 07, 2022•30 min•Ep 134•Transcript available on Metacast Some people want to have sexual and romantic relationships but are unable to do so. They are involuntarily celibate . For some, this perceived inability to form and maintain sexual and romantic relationships becomes a defining feature of the self—a social identity known as “incel.” In the popular media, incels tend to be characterized as misogynists and male supremecists who are prone to violence. However, the truth about incels is more complex, and it turns out that the incels...
Oct 04, 2022•53 min•Ep 133•Transcript available on Metacast Flirting and seduction can be tricky business. For example, when you want to let someone else know you’re interested, what do you even say? And how can you tell when someone is just being polite and friendly vs. actually flirting with you? Let’s talk about it! Today’s episode will tell you what you need to know about leveling-up your flirting game (in a non-sleazy way!), how read other people’s flirting cues, how to deal with rejection, and more. I am joined by Dr. Alison Ash, ...
Sep 30, 2022•37 min•Ep 132•Transcript available on Metacast In 1947, Dr. Alfred Kinsey established the Institute for Sex Research to protect and preserve his pioneering research on human sexuality. Later renamed the Kinsey Institute, the organization founded by Dr. Kinsey has continued his legacy for 75 years. While many other sex research institutes founded by pioneers in the field have shut down, Kinsey has survived by adapting to the ever-shifting sexual landscape and its researchers continue to break new ground in the field. In today’s episode,...
Sep 27, 2022•43 min•Ep 131•Transcript available on Metacast Your brain truly is your biggest sex organ, which means that if you want to have more–and better–sex, the key is really to make sure that you’re in the right headspace. However, this is something that a lot of us struggle with. We’re just not in the right place mentally in order for desire to set in, or to let go and become fully immersed in pleasure. We’re too distracted. We’re too stressed. We’re constantly thinking about our own insecurities. But this...
Sep 23, 2022•34 min•Ep 130•Transcript available on Metacast Most people have had a sexual fantasy about something that would be illegal to do in reality. That’s normal. But talking about those fantasies sometimes gets people into a lot of trouble because law enforcement may look at fantasy as a sign of criminal intent. But does having a fantasy about doing something illegal and talking about it with others necessarily mean that you’re likely to do it? This is just one of many fascinating and complicated questions that arises in the area where...
Sep 20, 2022•36 min•Ep 129•Transcript available on Metacast A lot of people in long-term relationships lose desire for sex and start thinking there’s something wrong with them. But, in many cases, the problem isn’t that they lack desire per se–it’s that they’ve simply been having bad sex. They lost interest in sex because it just wasn’t worth having, which means that getting desire back isn’t about taking some pill or medication; rather, it’s about making sure that you’ve having sex that’s worth...
Sep 16, 2022•35 min•Ep 128•Transcript available on Metacast There are a lot of heterosexual women out there who enjoy watching man-on-man pornography. In fact, some of the most popular tube sites in the world have reported that gay male porn is amongst the most-watched genres by female visitors. So why is that? And why do so many of these women enjoy gay male porn more than heterosexual porn? Let’s explore! I am joined by Lucy Neville, a Lecturer in Criminology at the University of Leicester, a published writer of erotica (under a pen name), and po...
Sep 13, 2022•33 min•Ep 127•Transcript available on Metacast Many sex therapists have argued that women’s sexual desire is relational, meaning that as long as a woman is in a good relationship and she’s connected with her partner, interest in sex should naturally follow. But that doesn’t match up with reality. A lot of women with low sexual desire say that their relationships are otherwise perfect. Why is that? It turns out that the things that make for a very satisfying relationship are sometimes at odds with the things that turn us on....
Sep 09, 2022•42 min•Ep 126•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to sex, you deserve to get what you want and to be in control of your body, your pleasure, and your sexual health. However, in order to do that, you have to be sexually empowered. You have to know what it is that you want in the first place, and be able to communicate about that. This is something that a lot of us really struggle with, so let’s talk about sexual empowerment. Today’s show is all about building up your sexual self-confidence, learning how to ask for what you wa...
Sep 06, 2022•30 min•Ep 125•Transcript available on Metacast The terms “sex” and “intercourse” are often used interchangeably, but the truth is that sex doesn’t have to include intercourse at all! In fact, outercourse often makes for even more satisfying sex. “Outercourse” is the general term for any sexual activities that aren’t focused on vaginal or anal penetration. By practicing more outercourse, we stand to benefit in a lot of ways, from discovering new sources of pleasure to adding more novelty in the bedroom to closing the orgasm gap. T...
Sep 02, 2022•26 min•Ep 124•Transcript available on Metacast The state of sex education is poor for American adolescents—but you probably already knew that. However, what you may not realize is that the state of sex ed for adults entering fields like medicine, psychology, and nursing isn’t all that great, either. There’s no universal standard for how sexuality should be taught in most healthcare training programs, nor is there even a requirement that it be taught at all! The sex ed deficit in medical education is hurting all of us, so let’s talk abo...
Aug 30, 2022•23 min•Ep 123•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to both sexual identity and gender identity, it’s not uncommon for people to say “I was born this way.” However, while both same-sex attraction and gender non-conformity are indeed linked to various biomarkers, the way people come to adopt specific identities is far more than just a simple function of their biological makeup. Identities are socially and culturally constructed. As a result, sexual and gender identities vary considerably across time and culture. It’s important ...
Aug 26, 2022•51 min•Ep 122•Transcript available on Metacast Our dating lives are a mess. Nationally representative US surveys conducted prior to the COVID-19 pandemic found that about two-thirds of single Americans said their dating lives weren’t going well. Today, a majority of them say that the pandemic has only made things worse. So why is modern dating so hard? And how can we make things better? That’s what today’s episode is all about. My guest is Dr. Tara, an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California...
Aug 23, 2022•41 min•Ep 121•Transcript available on Metacast If you have a penis, then you probably already know that it doesn’t always do what you want it to do. Sometimes you’ll get an erection when you don’t want one–and sometimes you won’t be able to get an erection when you do want one. Relax. That’s normal. But when does it start to cross the line into a sexual difficulty in need of treatment? And what are the best ways to manage erectile difficulties? That’s what today’s show is all about. I am joined...
Aug 19, 2022•34 min•Ep 120•Transcript available on Metacast Let’s get kinky! Today’s episode is a compilation of some of my favorite clips about the psychology of kink, BDSM, and fetishes. We’re going to revisit my interviews with Dr. Richard Sprott ( Episode 44 ), Dr. Jim Pfaus ( Episode 56 ), filmmaker and former professional dominatrix Stavroula Toska ( Episode 72 ), and sex therapist Shamyra Howard ( Episode 8 ). Some of the topics we explore in this show include: What does the term kink really mean anyway? And what’s the diff...
Aug 16, 2022•36 min•Ep 119•Transcript available on Metacast We keep a lot of things about our lives secret–but especially sexual things. People may hide their sexual thoughts, behaviors, and even feelings. And, sometimes, these secrets interfere with our pursuit of sexual and relationship happiness. So why do we hide so much about our sex lives in the first place? And if you want to let your partner in on a sexual secret, what do you need to know? Today’s episode is a deep dive into sexual and relationship secrets. Michael Slepian returns to ...
Aug 12, 2022•30 min•Ep 118•Transcript available on Metacast Think about a secret you’re keeping right now. Odds are, it shouldn’t take long for something to come to mind. We all keep secrets. In fact, the average person is keeping roughly 13 secrets at any given point in time! So what exactly are we hiding, and why are we hiding so much? Today’s episode offers a deep dive into the psychology of secrets. We’ll explore why secrecy is such a pervasive part of our lives, the psychological effects of secrecy, how to deal with the burde...
Aug 09, 2022•35 min•Ep 117•Transcript available on Metacast All too often, political debates about abortion are full of myths and misconceptions. For this reason, a better understanding of abortion is crucial. So that’s what today’s episode is all about. We’re going to discuss common things that people get wrong about abortion, why abortion bans don’t work as intended, and why comprehensive sex education and improved access to contraceptives are the keys to reducing abortion rates. I am joined by Dr. Rachel Needle , a licensed psy...
Aug 05, 2022•30 min•Ep 116•Transcript available on Metacast Have you ever noticed yourself feeling hornier than usual when you travel? If so, you’re not alone. Being away from home seems to put a lot of people in the mood for sex. So why is that? The answer is actually surprisingly complex. A whole host of factors change when we go on vacation or take a trip and–together–they have the potential to create far more opportunities for sexual desire and arousal to set in than we typically experience at home. So let’s talk about travel ...
Aug 02, 2022•24 min•Ep 115•Transcript available on Metacast One of the keys to having truly great sex is approaching it with the right mindset. However, this isn’t something that we’re usually taught in sex education, which tends to focus more on the physiology of sex rather than the psychology behind it. So that’s what today’s episode is all about. It’s a compilation (or “cumpilation”) of some of my favorite tips discussed on the show for changing your sexual mindset. Specifically, we’re going to revisit my interviews with Joan Price (...
Jul 29, 2022•29 min•Ep 114•Transcript available on Metacast We’re often our own worst enemies when it comes to having the sex we really want. Shame, secrecy, self-doubt, fear of failure—all of these things have a way of interfering with our ability to pursue pleasure. In order to have great sex, we need to change our entire sexual mindset. So that’s what this episode is all about: how to feel hot, but unbothered . I am joined by Yana Tallon-Hicks, a relationship therapist and sexuality educator. She is author of the new book, Hot and Unbothered: Ho...
Jul 26, 2022•43 min•Ep 113•Transcript available on Metacast There are a ton of sources for sex advice out there, which is great. But too many of them suffer from the same problem: they take a one-size-fits-all approach when, in reality, different things are going to work for different people. We each have a unique sexual self, which means that if you don’t have a certain level of self-understanding, it can be difficult to know which advice to take–and which advice to leave. So that’s what we’re going to be talking about today: how...
Jul 22, 2022•47 min•Ep 112•Transcript available on Metacast According to some sources, a majority of all marriages in the world are arranged. Despite how common this practice is, little research has been conducted on the subject—and there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there regarding what arranged marriages actually look like and how they work (including the idea that arranged marriage necessarily equates to “forced marriage”). So that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. I am joined by Dr. Sharon Flicker, a c...
Jul 19, 2022•26 min•Ep 111•Transcript available on Metacast If your romantic partner were to become sexually or romantically interested in someone else, how would you feel? Jealousy is often presumed to be the default response, especially in monogamous relationships. However, in consensually non-monogamous relationships, people often experience happiness, pleasure, or other positive feelings–a phenomenon known as compersion . So how are jealousy and compersion linked? Can you experience both at the same time? Can you learn to experience compersion ...
Jul 15, 2022•31 min•Ep 110•Transcript available on Metacast A masochist is someone who derives pleasure from the experience of pain. While we often think of masochism as being a purely sexual thing, it’s actually a pervasive part of everyday life. From the long-distance marathon runner to the person who covers their entire body in tattoos to the person who douses all of their food in hot sauce, there are countless examples of people intentionally inflicting pain on themselves—and getting some pleasure out of it at the same time. So why is that? We’re goi...
Jul 12, 2022•46 min•Ep 109•Transcript available on Metacast 
