This week, Heath has the sense not to join Eli and Noah as they embark on an atheist review of God's Army, the story of an alien lifeform that's disguised itself as a mole and hitched a ride on the face of a Mormon missionary. Or at least that was the story I was telling myself by the end just to keep from dying of boredom. Racism, sexism, and the most lazily jingled keys in the history of Christian film await on this week's conclusion of Mormon Movie Month. If you’d like to make a per episode d...
Jun 28, 2016•2 hr 50 min•Ep 45•Transcript available on Metacast On this week's episode, Dan and Mark from Thank God I'm Atheist join us for an atheist review of The Book of Mormon Volume One: The Journey; the story of a crazy guy following the voices in his head across a desert while his children repeatedly try to kill each other. It's a journey of wonder, discovery, anachronisms, overweight camels from the wrong continent, and love. You can hear more of Dan (and, to a lesser extent, Mark) by checking out Thank God I'm Atheist --- If you want to see us live ...
Jun 21, 2016•2 hr 52 min•Ep 44•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli and Noah are joined by Bryce Blankenagel for an atheist review of Cipher in the Show and Johnny Lingo, two "educational" shorts produced by BYU in a desperate (and misguided) effort to make Mormonism seem normal. --- If you'd like to hear more from Bryce, you can check him out on The Naked Mormonism Podcast or on My Book of Mormon. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes...
Jun 14, 2016•2 hr 35 min•Ep 43•Transcript available on Metacast This week, David Michael of the My Book of Mormon podcast joins us to kick off Mormon Movie Month with an atheist review of Saturday's Warrior, which is essentially the musical version of the Mormon Duggars. If you'd like to hear more of David's milk-chocolatey voice, you can find his podcast here. If you want to see the outtake Eli refers onto the show, you can find it here. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by ...
Jun 07, 2016•2 hr 50 min•Ep 42•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once more; this time for an atheist review of Rock: It's Your Decision; a Bizarro-world version of Footloose where our hero uses his ability to not dance to inspire an entire town of youngsters to also not enjoy themselves. If you want to see our live show in NYC on August 12th, click here to get tickets. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page....
May 31, 2016•2 hr 31 min•Ep 41•Transcript available on Metacast In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up once more for an atheist review of More Than Chance; the story of a young girl crippled by child abuse and really bad screenwriting, who eventually learns to overcome her disabilities and follow her dreams through a combination of Jesus and not dreaming very big. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
May 24, 2016•2 hr 37 min•Ep 40•Transcript available on Metacast In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Second Glance, a bizarre hybridization of an after school special, a re-imagining of It's a Wonderful Life, and unabashed anti-atheist bigotry. Plus we get to see little David AR White before his balls dropped and learn that apparently he never stood a chance. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
May 17, 2016•1 hr 22 min•Ep 39•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of The Freedom of Silence; a film that asks what happens when a computer expert and a Christianity expert team up to take down the evil, secular government through an act of terrorism. And they're the good guys. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
May 10, 2016•2 hr 40 min•Ep 38•Transcript available on Metacast This week, we watched a Nigerian Christian demon bird cult classic. Yup. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
May 03, 2016•1 hr 26 min•Ep 37•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Thomas Smith joins Eli, Noah, and Heath for an atheist review of The Black Rider: Revelation Road, the third film in a trilogy that has, until this point, known which side of the colon the subtitle goes on. Join us as we desperately try to figure out what accent Kevin Sorbo is shooting for, why David AR White is wearing knee pads, and what the hell the point of this whole trilogy was. For more Thomas in your life, check out the following links: Thomas and the Bible Comedy Shoeshine At...
Apr 26, 2016•2 hr 51 min•Ep 36•Transcript available on Metacast This week, we're joined once again by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire. Part 1 went something like this: "In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot. But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but they suggest something will in the sequel." Well we checked...
Apr 19, 2016•2 hr 54 min•Ep 35•Transcript available on Metacast This week, we're joined by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End. In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot. But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but they suggest something will in the sequel.---If you'd like to pick up your copy of the God's Not Dead song ...
Apr 12, 2016•2 hr 50 min•Ep 34•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of God's Not Dead 2, a story in which god continues to not be dead, apparently. This film continues the Pure Flix tradition of cramming way too many characters into a story with way too little plot, all to a soundtrack that can only be described as castration-like.---Special musical thanks this week to Morgan Clarke, whose you can check out on Soundcloud. Additional special musical thanks this week to Anna Phyllis Smith, whose you...
Apr 05, 2016•2 hr 2 min•Ep 33•Transcript available on Metacast On this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Kirk Cameron's Mercy Rule; the tale of a scrappy, old-fashioned junkyard owner fighting back against socialized waste removal. And while it's certainly the least "god" of any movie we've reviewed so far, it's far from the least "awful." Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
Mar 29, 2016•2 hr 37 min•Ep 32•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath take a field trip to see Miracles From Heaven in the theater on opening weekend. Red carpet!!! Eli wore Versace, Noah wore Nike, and Heath wore a smile. Nobody else was happy. Join them in this fair and balanced review of a story about how Jesus gives deadly diseases to young children, and why doctors are to blame. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page....
Mar 22, 2016•2 hr 31 min•Ep 31•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once again to take on the most blissfully ignorant film they've encountered so far. Join them for an atheist review of A Matter of Faith; a film about a father whose daughter's ignorance is challenged by a college education. After her biology professor has the audacity to teach true things, instead of dad's favorite fairytales, dad has no choice but to challenge the evolutionist to a debate that nobody thinks he can win. Because he's wrong. And he's de...
Mar 15, 2016•2 hr 49 min•Ep 30•Transcript available on Metacast On this week's episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film. If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we've yet endured.--- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Pag...
Mar 08, 2016•1 hr 23 min•Ep 29•Transcript available on Metacast This week we meet a movie that's out of our league, but only by a little. Join Eli, Noah, and Heath as they head out for a field trip and learn how the Jesus story would have played out had it been a buddy cop flick in our atheist review of Risen.---You should really check out the preview for next week's movie. It's more insane than you can possibly imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7HytrGnnz8 Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you'd li...
Mar 01, 2016•1 hr 19 min•Ep 28•Transcript available on Metacast This week, former senior writer for the Onion and current writer for Comedy Central's @Midnight Jocelyn Richard joins us to break down a story about a man and a woman, and that's pretty much it. This conflictless love story pits master thesbian Ja Rule across from the girl from Cuttin' Da Mustard and generates precisely the kind of onscreen chemistry that casting would suggest. Join us for a story of love, all-inclusive resort plugs, and unatoned felonies in I'm in Love with a Church Girl.--- Ou...
Feb 23, 2016•2 hr 51 min•Ep 27•Transcript available on Metacast In this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah join forces once more to take on a film that snuck just enough god stuff in to make the "faith" category on Netflix. It's the story of a woman on the hunt for the man who killed her husband, even though the only description she has to work with is "african american male." So listen in as we desperately try to fill an entire episode with a movie where nothing actually ever happens; Unconditional.--- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slot...
Feb 15, 2016•1 hr 29 min•Ep 26•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Heah, and Noah are joined by the hilarious Chelsea Davison to break down a heartwarming story of petty problems, woeful lack of chemistry, and filling out webforms. Christian Mingle tells the story of shallow, paternalistic views on imagined white people problems amidst the backdrop of a storm-ravaged town in Mexico that just stays storm ravaged.---If you'd like to hear more from Chelsea Davison, you can follow her on Twitter, or check out her website.--- Our theme song was writt...
Feb 09, 2016•2 hr 42 min•Ep 25•Transcript available on Metacast In this week's episode, we polish off the grand finale of the WWJD trilogy with an installment that maintains the series' continuity by having nothing to do with the other ones, just like the sequel. Dr. T joins us to recount a story of tragedy, heartache, and not hurting anyone.If you'd like to follow Dr. T on Twitter, trust us, you'll just want to click here.Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you'd like to hear more check out their Facebook p...
Feb 02, 2016•2 hr 46 min•Ep 24•Transcript available on Metacast In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down the sequel to last week's homage to things happening randomly and in questionable focus; What Would Jesus Do 2: The Woodcarver. This nearly impossible to properly punctuate sequel adds an Oscar eligible performance from Christian movie powerhouse John Ratzenberger, to answer the age old question of what gay GILF porn would look like if you took out all the sex.---Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on ...
Jan 26, 2016•2 hr 31 min•Ep 23•Transcript available on Metacast This week we meet a drifter with a heart of gold and no idea how humanity works. In a small California town with a bafflingly robust homeless population, a Jesus analog enters the lives of six community theater rejects; leaving both the characters and the viewers pondering one simple question... WTF? Or, as they titled their movie (based on the bracelet of the same name) What Would Jesus Do?---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you'd like to hea...
Jan 19, 2016•2 hr 48 min•Ep 22•Transcript available on Metacast This week Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Little Boy, the true story of Jesus giving nuclear bomb powers to an 8 year old so that he could massacre Japanese civilians by the thousands during World War II. Terrible apologetics, an awful portrayal of stage magicians, and a plot that forces him to repeatedly pronounce the world "nuclear" combine to create the perfect storm of misery for Eli. And as if that's not enough, the movie also includes hate crimes committed without consequence. Our theme mu...
Jan 12, 2016•2 hr 37 min•Ep 21•Transcript available on Metacast In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath tackle a movie about little girl who has the ability to cure cancer, AIDS, heart disease, and kidney failure, but instead uses it to cure hamsters with indigestion. But when her atheist mother finds out, she puts a stop to all this magical altruism in a hurry in Heaven's Door.--- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you'd like to hear more from them, check out their Facebook page.
Jan 05, 2016•2 hr 52 min•Ep 20•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance join us to break down a tale of a live triangle between a woman, her rapist, and her stalker. Join us as we see exactly how many offended emails a podcast can fit into a single inbox, as we tackle the most disturbing film we've encountered so far, Loving the Bad Man.---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you'd like to hear more from them, check out their Facebook Page.
Dec 29, 2015•2 hr 52 min•Ep 19•Transcript available on Metacast This week comedian Rebecca Vigil joins Heath, Noah, and Eli to break down Christmas Angel, a movie that was just dissimilar enough from Touched by an Angel not to violate any copyrights. Listen in as we move one depressing step closer to having seen Kevin Sorbo's entire filmography.If you had as much fun with musical comedian Rebecca Vigil as much as we did, you should follow her on Twitter. Our theme music was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you'd like to hea...
Dec 22, 2015•2 hr 44 min•Ep 18•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Silver Bells, the story of a man whose competitive ways lead to criminal trouble when he accidentally hits somebody with a basketball just as all American jurisprudence disappears from the earth. He's sentenced to Christianity, where he learns that winning isn't everything, and homeless people eat flour.---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. To hear more from them, check out their Facebook Page.
Dec 15, 2015•2 hr 42 min•Ep 17•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Heath makes a triumphant return to welcome guest masochist Michael Marshall; Project Director of the Good Thinking Society, co-host of Skeptics with a K, and host of Be Reasonable. Together, we take on What If…; the story of It’s a Wonderful Life, but in reverse. We watch Kevin Sorbo turn from a successful, philanthropic, considerate investment banker, to a failed reverend in a termite infested church, thanks to a little bit of head trauma. If you’d like to hear more from Marsh, check...
Dec 08, 2015•2 hr 48 min•Ep 16•Transcript available on Metacast 
