There are certain portentous events that presage massive upheaval and transformative revolution, both good and ill--Mark regards travel as one of these cataclysmic convulsions (ill), but the same is true of the arrival of the man known as Doctor Stallone (good). Both have coincided in the world of SVWAG this week, a confluence more consequential than the great passage of Halley's comet that prompted the original quote of "Après moi, le déluge." There's just a lot, people. 01:33 A...
Jun 18, 2024•59 min•Transcript available on Metacast All I need to know about animal reproduction I learned from Uwe Rosenberg. I suspect many people have The Talk, which in my case was my father teaching me how to play Agricola. Navigating my twenties in utter ignorance wasn't easy, but now that Uwe has told me about the birds and the bees (and the sheep and the pigs and the cows) via Agricola I'm practically a biologist. 01:25 AYURIS: Dead Reckoning (John D. Clair, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2022) Games Played Last Week: 05:10 -Tigris ...
Jun 11, 2024•56 min•Transcript available on Metacast After a prolonged period where we have not discussed Kramer & Kiesling (the Kramer & Ulrich duo yielded El Grande, which we mention rather frequently), here we see a bumper krop of K&K kollaborations. The gibbons are fickle, and even the mighty Wolfgang and Michael must yield to their whims. But fortune (and apes) have at last smiled on them, and we revel in the classic Euro goodness as well as their more recent offering. Games Played Last Week: 01:05 -Monikers (Alex Hague and Justin...
Jun 04, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Transcript available on Metacast In the vast panoply of human misfortunes, it is often fruitless to try to rank misery. Was historical tragedy X worse or better than atrocity Y? It seems callous to ask. That said, thanks to the applied research of a retired ethicist with the aid of Reiner Knizia's Zoo Vadis, we have conclusively discovered that it is better to be extorted by a marmoset than assaulted by an armadillo. Thus is human knowledge expanded. 01:01 AYURIS: Heroscape (Stephen Baker, Rob Daviau, & Craig Van Ness, ...
May 28, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Transcript available on Metacast Before the people of Quebec celebrated the Journée nationale des Patriotes (National Patriots' Day), they instead on the same day had the Fête de Dollard. A cynic might speculate that the timing of these holidays was chosen so as to pre-empt the English Canadian Victoria Day, and that cynic would be right. Games Played Last Week: 01:21 -Dice Flick (Rami Gaber, Pegasus Spiele, 2021) 04:49 -A Message from the Stars (Clarence Simpson, Allplay, 2024) 11:21 -Switchbacks (Susumu Kawasaki, Allplay,...
May 21, 2024•55 min•Transcript available on Metacast It is striking that no one submitted a question regarding the hues of our auras, so allow us to address the issue here and declare that amber is the colour of our energy. I regret nothing. 01:39 AYURIS: Capital Lux 2: Generations (Eilif Svensson & Kristian Amundsen Østby, Aporta Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 03:46 -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Game: Raise the Flagg Campaign Expansion (T.C. Petty III, Renegade Game Studios, 2023) 07:10 -Through the Desert (Reiner Knizia, Allplay, 2024) 11:27...
May 14, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Transcript available on Metacast There is only one novel and commendable Kant pun, delivered in the novel and commendable film Hedwig and the Angry Inch: "I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll, entitled, 'You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.'" 01:41 AYURIS: Mosaic: A Story of Civilization (Glenn Drover, Forbidden Games, 2022) Games Played Last Week: 04:11 -Gloomhaven: Buttons & Bugs (Joe Klipfel and Nikki Valens, ...
May 07, 2024•1 hr 24 min•Transcript available on Metacast We are storytellers here at SVWAG. This week, we tell the stories of mismatched plagues with dead llamas posing as European dudes, of quixotic strivings for yet more skirmish games, of famous philosophers who hustled cards. Of course, if you wish to hear different stories, the power is yours! You have but to submit your questions for the upcoming Omnibus Questions episode, and all your idle demands shall be satisfied! Games Played Last Week: 02:33 -Scrap (Kenny Michael-Otton, Jolly Swagman Games...
Apr 30, 2024•53 min•Transcript available on Metacast No topic is off-limits for the upcoming return of our Omnibus Questions, as we demonstrate in this episode by tackling such issues as pre-Reformation papal indulgences. And if you were to guess which host brought up that little historical nugget, you'd be wrong! Possible questions: who would win in a street fight, J.G. Fichte or Nietzsche? Do sheep poop? Who is the best member of Team Avatar? (Fichte, yes, and Appa, respectively) 02:17 AYURIS: It's a Wonderful World (Frédéric Guérard, La...
Apr 23, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Transcript available on Metacast While we have little experience with Ed Sullivan's TV offerings, his legacy is a fascinating one. While he capitulated to pressure during the Red Scare, he did show remarkable courage in platforming African American performers despite opposition from his sponsors. Quite surprising is that the illness that eventually killed him was kept a secret from him by his family, a practise that was already frowned on in the United States by the seventies but is still widespread in many parts of the wor...
Apr 16, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Transcript available on Metacast It is said that both politics and religion are not good conversational fodder among people you don't know well (and perhaps not even for people with whom you are close), but sadly those are among Mark's favourite topics. The sun having been devoured may cause the astronomers to be delighted, but Mark knows a portent when he sees one, and he is confident some kind of sacrifice to appease violent spirits is in order. Walker escalates things by invoking the divine right of kings, the inters...
Apr 09, 2024•57 min•Transcript available on Metacast I never really understood the term "undead." I mean, it's a binary, right? If it's not dead it must be alive, at least in the context of things that could or were once alive. The negation never seemed to be doing enough work to imply what it was intended to imply. That is, until Walker and Mark got sick. They're not dead, but going straight to "alive" seems a rather hopeful exaggeration. Undead seems appropriate for now. 01:47 AYURIS: Carnegie (Xavier Georges, Quined ...
Apr 02, 2024•52 min•Transcript available on Metacast We haul ourselves off of our deathbeds to deliver this episode unto you. Prospects for our recovery seem dim, but we would sooner die than deprive you of that which is most sacred--namely content. Of course, illness may yet claim us, but we are far too stoic and noble to complain. 01:49 AYURIS: Stroganov (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 04:46 -Hissy Fit (Levi Robertson and Chris Stone, Stone Age Distractions, 2023) 06:53 -Finished! (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2017)...
Mar 26, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast We present to you a specially chemically-enhanced episode. Walker has been doping specifically in preparation, eschewing any sustenance other than military-grade lozenges. Mark will be performing his hosting duties while fully immersed in a tank of benzocaine oral painkiller. It is a good thing that the International Olympic Committee has no sway here in SVWAG studios, or we would likely get disqualified for the podcast luge event. Games Played Last Week: 01:30 -Raising Robots (Brett Sobol &...
Mar 19, 2024•59 min•Transcript available on Metacast For reasons both personal and highly arbitrary, the SVWAG style guide (authored by gibbons, of course) does not countenance using the word "teach" as a noun, with the possible exception as a casual nickname for a teacher. Thus a game does not, in our parlance, have a "teach" except insofar as you call the person explaining the rules to you "teach". As in, "yo, teach, thanks for doing this thankless job, you make our hobby possible, I'm certainly not going to give ...
Mar 12, 2024•1 hr 14 min•Transcript available on Metacast Before shouting about toys professionally, Mark taught ethics at a health sciences university. He discussed matters of life and death, of cutting edge controversial technologies, of war and politics, and matters of fundamental rights and duties. He has learned two lessons from those experiences: never ever talk about animal rights with a pit bull owner, and his views on Mass Effect are vastly more controversial than any of his other views. In this episode, he is at least smart enough to stay sil...
Mar 05, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Transcript available on Metacast Walker was all like "there's this card effect in Successors" and Mark was all like "nuh-uh" but Walker was like "yeah, fer sure" and Mark goes "no way" and Walker says "way" and that's a 100% accurate transcript. 01:53 AYURIS: Dice Realms (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2022) Games Played Last Week: 04:07 -Lorenzo il Magnifico (Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, and Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations, 2016) 10:55 -Leonardo da Vinci's Codex Leic...
Feb 27, 2024•1 hr 17 min•Transcript available on Metacast The theory of the atom first posited by the pre-Socratic philosopher Democritus in roughly the 4th Century BCE. None of his actual writings have survived. The great thing about the pre-Socratics is that so few of their works are available, you can spend about ten minutes (or less!) and have read as much of their stuff as have the world's leading experts. Games Played Last Week: 01:53 -Kingdom Rush: Elemental Uprising (Alara Cameron, Helana Hope, and Sen-Foong Lim, Lucky Duck Games, 2023) 04:...
Feb 20, 2024•55 min•Transcript available on Metacast Every man wants to be a macho, macho man To have the kind of body always in demand Jogging in the mornings, go man go Work outs in the health spa, muscles glow You can best believe that he's a macho man Ready to get down with, anyone he can You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk His western shirts and leather, always look so boss Funky with his body, he's a king Call him Mister Ego, dig his chains You can best believe that he's a macho man He likes to be the leader, he never dress...
Feb 13, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Transcript available on Metacast Let us, following in Andy Schwarz's example, highlight the fine work of Nancy Skinner, a California state senator whose "Fair Pay to Play Act" granted college athletes in California the right to profit from their name, image, and likeness. This forced the NCAA to allow such changes more broadly. It hasn't been perfect, but let's acknowledge one thing: if someone's gonna be making millions off your name and face, maybe--just maybe!--you should be able to get a cut. Games P...
Feb 06, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Transcript available on Metacast It has been many a year since our early days, our salad days when we were younger and dumb and didn't know what we were doing. Much has changed, in that we are now older and dumb and don't know what we're doing. But the inexorable march of time has at least offered many new offerings in the broad tent of dexterity games, and so it is past time that we focus on one of our preferred genus of toy. 01:26 AYURIS: Golem (Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, & Simone Luciani, Cranio Creati...
Jan 30, 2024•1 hr 20 min•Transcript available on Metacast A pretty solid rule of thumb is that if you've been disappointed in a kind of game, try David Thompson's version of it and see how delightful it can be. Hidden movement got you down? Sniper Elite is the cure. Abstract chunky tiled fighty thing didn't please? War Chest might please. Mediocre skirmish cramping your style? For What Remains is ready to serve. It's a good thing he has styles of games he hasn't explored, lest he just obsolete the remainder of the games industry. Gi...
Jan 23, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Transcript available on Metacast As ever, and with no clue what a lang syne is (much less an auld-y type configuration), we embrace the new year by commemorating the old. We would venture that the new year only truly begins once SVWAG has given its imprimatur on the best game published in the preceding year. The Julian Calendar was abandoned in favour of the Gregorian, and it is evident that the Gregorian should be abandoned in favour of the SVWAGgering Calendar. Games Played Last Week: 01:34 -Kutná Hora: The City of Silver (On...
Jan 16, 2024•1 hr 19 min•Transcript available on Metacast Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, claimed that you never step in the same river twice; for it is not the same river and you are not the same person. Such as it is with games! They are reprinted and thus reborn, all along some blurred spectrum of redesign spanning from carbon copy all the way to entirely new design. Let us not forget Heraclitus' student Cratylus, who evidently thought Heraclitus some kind of squish, insofar as he is credited with countering that you cannot step into t...
Jan 09, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Transcript available on Metacast "This here's a jam for all the gamers Tryin' to do what those rulebooks offer Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous Take too long, opponents get jealous Ok, smarty, go to a party Games are on the menu for everybody You wanna play a game that's more complexer But you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter A game is laid out, one not played out The options unfold and your mind just spins out They say you should take your turn or get removed So come on, ga...
Jan 02, 2024•1 hr 20 min•Transcript available on Metacast Just before Mark is de-platformed, he would like to remind the SVWAG audience of two very important facts. First, he is but a man shouting into a can, and just because he doesn't like the thing you like doesn't make either less worthy of respect, dignity, and chocolate. He is willing to accept the possibility that he's Playing It Wrong and/or Doesn't Get It and/or needs to Git Gud and/or is just insufficiently evolved. Second, a reminder that complaints are to be directed to supp...
Dec 19, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Transcript available on Metacast A review of So Very Wrong About Games, not actually by Werner Herzog: "To listen to SVWAG is to court madness. One host is beholden to the delusion that if he utters sufficient words in a short period of time he may stave off his inevitable death, whereas the other grapples with the false consciousness of refusing to acknowledge life's meaninglessness. Collectively their banter serves as a cruel rebuke to evolution, a bitter mockery of humanity's purported superiority over a nature t...
Dec 12, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Transcript available on Metacast Dexterity games, dismissed by many in the board game world as children's toys (whereas, by contrast, we laud them as children's toys), can offer a unique window into the player's soul. A fine dexterity game is a crucible in which one's true character emerges. Are you an assertive, grandiose table-hog capable of great feats but undone by hubris? Are you a small-minded, plodding dilettante lacking in ambition or imagination? Junk Art can reveal all! Games Played Last Week: 02:11 -A...
Dec 05, 2023•1 hr 21 min•Transcript available on Metacast There's no time no time at all we must get to the games there's been so many all the time one after another hurry hurry we must get to all of the games 01:26 AYURIS: Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 03:07 -Septima (Robin Hegedűs, Mindclash Games, 2023) 10:42 -White Castle (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos, Devir Games, 2023) 16:25 -Paku Paku (Antoine Bauza, Ravensburger, 2017) 20:45 -Nekojima (David Carmona & Karen Nguyen, Unfriendly Gam...
Nov 28, 2023•1 hr 29 min•Transcript available on Metacast The shift from Beckett references to low-grade puns might strike one as jarring, but it is important to note that both hosts have essentially been twelve going on sixty for most of their lives. If it's not juvenile and/or obscure, it is difficult for the hosts to process--they become disoriented and frightened. In such circumstances, a nice Star Control II reference will probably calm them down. Hey, there's one of those in this episode, too! Games Played Last Week: 01:52 -Great Western ...
Nov 14, 2023•1 hr 21 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
