What is gaming other than an outlet for vicarious experiences and thrills? To enjoy the simulacrum of killing, adventure, high finance, and impressing feudal lords? We can thus assert with great sincerity that ours shall be the very best GenCon coverage, in that we didn't go. Why trust the easily-misled first hand accounts? We know from both philosophy and science that sense data deceives. You can put your faith in our reflections, completely unbiased by any experience. AYURIS: Kemet 1m15s (...
Aug 06, 2019•54 min•Transcript available on Metacast Failure can be a fortuitous thing, which is very good for Mark, as he is well accustomed to failure. While this week's review of Pax Renaissance is certainly not on the scale of, say, penicillin, it did give him the opportunity to play one of his top 20 games more. As to whether Walker profited or suffered from this development is a deep and abiding mystery solvable only by listening to this week's episode. Games Played Last Week: -Gaslands 2m29s (Glenn Ford & Mike Hutchinson, Osprey...
Jul 30, 2019•56 min•Transcript available on Metacast We can pretend that our adult pastimes are more sophisticated and evolved from the trivialities of mere children, but really, let's admit it--it's all the same. We can't claim any degree of superiority when compared to the antics of ankle-biters. Let's be mature about it and lean into the juvenalia, shall we? My doll is better than your doll. My doll has the Plasmanator Meltotron. You can't hit my doll, it has an invisible everything shield! AYURIS: Keyflower 1m58s (Sebastian...
Jul 23, 2019•1 hr 2 min•Transcript available on Metacast "May you get everything you want" is nothing short of a curse, I think, and so this week we curse you with your own desires. You wanted us to play Middara, so we did. You wanted more information about Sol: Last Days of a Star, so we oblige. As you weep, surrounded by the wreckage wrought by your own wishes, don't come to us for solace, for we are but the accomplices of your own self-destruction. Also, if that weren't terrifying enough, intergalactic scorpions! Games Played Last W...
Jul 16, 2019•54 min•Transcript available on Metacast Since tableau-building today is very much what auctions were twenty years ago, we take a look at both in this week's episode. The Pax games continue ever onward, even as most of our favourite auction game were published 10+ years ago. Mark resists the urge to go off on a tangent about the Trolley Problem, which allows Walker to resist the urge to send Mark's teeth off on a tangent from his mouth. Compromise. AYURIS: 1m32s Hyperborea (Andrea Chiarvesio & Pierluca Zizzi, Asterion Press...
Jul 09, 2019•55 min•Transcript available on Metacast I swear, one dude gets his arm cut off in a cantina and we're still harping on about it forty years later. Have a sense of proportion! I got beat up in high school twenty years ago, but you don't hear me whining. That dude should have done what I did--rounded up a posse and threatened retaliation if any assault persisted. He could have rallied those pushed around by laser sword-wielding hermits and made the galaxy safe for... hold on, I think I just started writing fanfic. Games Played L...
Jul 02, 2019•49 min•Transcript available on Metacast Knowing when to give up is a valuable skill. As children we are told to stick with painful and unpleasant things, and while that is often wise, sometimes it just results in more pain. Discerning the difference between choking down one's vegetables--good!--and pursuing a hobby merely for the sake of it--bad!--is a tricky bit of prudence that many adults can't quite seem to get. The notion of an "acquired taste" is somewhat related. Eating chocolate is something you can nail the fi...
Jun 25, 2019•55 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is not, strictly speaking, the first foray into gaming that Hellboy has done--not even the first in the miniatures genre. There were some Hellboy Heroclix, but let us speak as adults--that's not really saying much. Everyone has been in Heroclix now. 43% of the human population has been represented as a Heroclix figure at some point. Walker has, like, four different versions (albeit two of those are repaints). I hear the "Raging Fury" Walker figure is banned in most tournament pl...
Jun 18, 2019•58 min•Transcript available on Metacast Heroscape! This show has spent far, far too long talking about things that are not Heroscape. Today we attempt to remedy that deficiency by talking about Heroscape, which is a game--nay, an experience--nay, a lifestyle!--worth discussing. It was a wonderful retail oddity, an overproduced and affordable big box beauty. It is why basements were invented. It isn't the greatest game, but it is definitely Heroscape. AYURIS: Lords of Hellas 1m54s (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018) Games Played ...
Jun 11, 2019•56 min•Transcript available on Metacast Do you sometimes feel like having your blind brother hurl spears at you as a party trick? Do you feel the urge to put your hand in a giant wolf's mouth to make your friends feel bad? Do you wish you could ride a chariot pulled by cats for no discernible reason? Do you long to carry on rambling conversations with a severed head? Do you want days of the week to be named after you? Well, this is your episode! Games Played Last Week: -Just One 1m26s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Prod...
Jun 04, 2019•53 min•Transcript available on Metacast Names are powerful. The Spiel des Jahres means "game of the year" simpliciter, but for years we know that the juries have been casting a narrower and narrower net of what games thay would consider. It has become more of a specialized imprint, which is fine--but it's strange that the name still inspires such cachet. Anything with rules in excess of 3 or so pages seems now to be firmly beyond the pale as far as the SdJ is concerned. Ah, well, times change, and we are prone to fits of c...
May 28, 2019•54 min•Transcript available on Metacast Credibility, like a butterfly, is a fragile and beautiful thing. Mark is fundamentally opposed to subtlety and ephemeral joy, so he naturally seeks to destroy either whenever he encounters it. When it comes to credibility he does this by routinely making gross over-generalizations. This time he has managed to make an instant replay-esque correction, at least. As for what he does to butterflies, let's just say he manages to make garden parties awkward. Games Played Last Week: -Bios: Megafauna...
May 21, 2019•56 min•Transcript available on Metacast Summer is here, friends and neighbours, and with it comes a a thickening of the blood that prompts torpor. We here at SVWAG are part lizard, you see, and so we must budget additional time to sun ourselves and slough off our scales. At any rate, we will be shifting to a summer schedule but still releasing an episode every week--though the magic of segment-swapping. How can such wizardry be true? The secrets are revealed herein! AYURIS: Mage Knight 2m10s (Vlaada Chvatil, WizKids, 2011) Games Playe...
May 14, 2019•57 min•Transcript available on Metacast We humble ourselves before you, O merciful audience, so as to lay bare our sins against the gaming world. Granted we toil as rules explainers on the behalf of ungrateful vermin who do not appreciate our labours, but nonetheless we take full responsibility for mildly inconveniencing the filthy ingrates who can't be bothered to read a rulebook. We implore that these monstrously selfish demons might find it in their paltry hearts and feeble minds to grant us a little mercy. We sincerely apologi...
Apr 30, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Transcript available on Metacast "Money makes the world go 'round" is a common saying decried by most astronomers and physicists, who instead stubbornly maintain that it is due to some invisible thing that can't even qualify for a credit card. "More money than God" is also a strange phrasing, insofar as I believe the theological consensus (ranging from the Abrahamic faiths all the way to Pastafarianism) is that God does not hold assets in the standard sense. Then again, I've never seen His portfolio....
Apr 23, 2019•1 hr 6 min•Transcript available on Metacast We spare you the onomatopoeias this week, as our audio editing software cannot process the brightly-coloured spiky expostulations properly. Walker gets to backpedal at full speed this week, having previously declared his being done with both 1 vs. all games and games with tons of minis. So he surely wouldn't have any enthusiasm for this 1 vs. all minis-heavy game, would he? Could he?! Na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na PLASTIC AYURIS: GKR: Heavy Hitters 1m25s (Matt Hyra, Cryptoz...
Apr 16, 2019•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast Here's the thing, at least as Mark understands it: acquired tastes are weird. Some things are great the first time. Furthermore, some things are easy and great the first time. Take chocolate, for example. Most people start out champs at eating chocolate. Mark tried to get good at something once, but he found out that requires effort. Who has time for ten thousand hours when there's elite-level candy consumption to be had? Walker on the other hand laments Mark's narrow little horizons...
Apr 09, 2019•1 hr 9 min•Transcript available on Metacast Today is a telling day in the annals of SVWAG, especially with respect to Mark coming to terms with his own essential wrongness. He gets to partially repent for his tonal excesses with respect to the AYURIS; he gets to mull over painful loves lost in Billionaire Banshee; and he gets to realize that once again that while Walker cares deeply about people, he cares mostly about stuffing his face and listening to loud music. Things get real. AYURIS: Champions of Midgard 1m47s (Ole Steiness, Grey Fox...
Apr 02, 2019•59 min•Transcript available on Metacast HATE has landed, and you can't have it. CMON's dalliances with Kickstarter exclusives have been numerous, but now they have their first Kickstarter-exclusive game. We review it not to taunt you with things you can't acquire, but rather to give you the vicarious thrill of someone who can have everything. Let your imagination whisk you away to a universe that is all plastic cannibalistic hardcases! AYURIS: Battlelore 2nd Edition 2m14s (Richard Borg & Robert A. Kouba, FFG, 2013) Gam...
Mar 26, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Transcript available on Metacast As my father is wont to say, "Accept credit, pass blame." Actually, no, I said that, and it's my father's fault that I forgot the correct attribution. Is that how that works? At any rate, we here at SVWAG are always happy to claim responsibility for all positive developments. When and if peace breaks out anywhere, we will assert it is our doing based merely on this aside. Such is the power of our episode notes and our self-aggrandizement! AYURIS: The World of SMOG: Rise of Moloch...
Mar 19, 2019•1 hr 17 min•Transcript available on Metacast Currencies drive many things, perhaps most things. HATE is driven by a currency called Savagery, which I believe is floated on the international market and its exchange rate fluctuates daily. We here at So Very Wrong About Games fuel our episodes with Snark, which is pegged conveniently to the Canadian Dollar. As a consequence, when some of you might be tempted to correct Mark on the name of the 1987 Richard Halliwell design ("um, actually, it's Block Mania, not Block Panic"), you ar...
Mar 12, 2019•1 hr 20 min•Transcript available on Metacast You do you, Walker always says, except he almost never does. Mark always says smoke 'em if you got 'em, despite his never uttering those words and frankly not knowing what they mean. He tried smoking once and didn't enjoy it. Why care about such petty things as truth or data when it feels consistent with a narrative you're peddling? Echoes of contemporary politics abound, as we ponder whether a game needs to be balanced so long as it tells a good tale. AYURIS: Rising Sun (Eric La...
Feb 26, 2019•1 hr 20 min•Transcript available on Metacast The Peter Principle observes that people tend to get promoted to their level of incompetence. Namely if someone does a job well, they'll be promoted, until such time as they cease doing a job well and persist at that level of ineptitude. We mention this not because it accurately describes the arc of Mark's life both professionally and personally--which, let's face it, it does--but rather because we have decided to promote the AYURIS from off-hand remark into Full Fledged Segment (AYU...
Feb 19, 2019•1 hr 13 min•Transcript available on Metacast Sometimes categories are useful taxonomical tools, and sometimes they are so blunt as to be confusing and unhelpful. What gets parsed as "worker placement" can get downright murky at times. To Walker, though, the world is clear and simple. Tolstoy tells us that "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Walker has a modified view--all fun games are fun and thus good and interchangeable, and all unfun games are bad and thus the same. It's a ...
Feb 12, 2019•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast Just as we are told that it's always five o'clock somewhere, we can be assured that Mark and Walker are always wrong somewhere. Time marches inexorably forward, and we mark that passage of time by checking in with the much-loved Quartermaster General series. Mark would happily tell you that time is nothing more and nothing less than a priori intuition, which when internalized allows us to ground the science of mathematics--and then Walker would rightfully point out that it's time for...
Feb 05, 2019•1 hr 2 min•Transcript available on Metacast Sometimes our hosts can't quite understand what the situation demands of them. Walker has been known to approach thoughtful, deliberative games with the oft-repeated demand of "when do I get to shoot LEMME SHOOT." Mark tends to greet new acquaintances with profanity-laden assaults on their life choices, hygiene, and character. These traits perhaps serve to explain how they find themselves in the social circles that they do. Games Played Last Week: -The Quacks of Quedlingburg 2m37s (W...
Jan 29, 2019•1 hr 9 min•Transcript available on Metacast We take endorsements very seriously here at SVWAG. The Ferragamo deal fell through after Walker was seen wearing Fendi, and the whole Burberry fiasco is better left forgotten. Converse was our backup, but suffice to say after Mark's public comments about sportsball that seems like a distant possibility at best. All that said, we endorse Gloomy Companion unreservedly. We don't resort to apps very often, but we don't Gloomhaven without Gloomy Companion employed on a tablet. We've t...
Jan 22, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Transcript available on Metacast Constant vigilance is the price of audio quality, and we apologize for how badly that struggle has been going of late. Walker prostrates himself before the altar of Bars, and Bars we achieve, but the nature of those Bars have been fickle. Their shape and pattern cannot be properly contained or channeled, and thus they spurn us and assault your ears. Rest assured that we are consulting the augurs and they are poring over the entrails of many a cassette tape in order to discern how we may appease ...
Jan 15, 2019•1 hr 18 min•Transcript available on Metacast Peer influence is a strange thing. For years Mark has been yelling at Walker about various ways he really ought to change, but a single board game now has Walker spewing Macross lore like he's a convert. Perhaps the authors like Erin Lee Escobedo have a point, and board games really can serve to deliver subtle yet powerful influence. Perhaps we could make board games to convince people to like and dislike the right board games... Games Played Last Week: -Telestrations 3m40s (Uncredited, USAo...
Jan 08, 2019•1 hr 6 min•Transcript available on Metacast Another round about the sun is complete, at least for those who acknowledge that sort of thing. I'm certain there must be a strand of Flat Eartherism that bows to the reality of the Earth's orbit--I could find out, but boardgaming already more than satisfies my desire for obscure minutia. We look back at the releases of the year, agreeing on many things but rather sharply disagreeing on others. There will be lists! And categories! Oh, the pageantry! Games Played Last Week: -Space Hulk: S...
Dec 18, 2018•1 hr 18 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
