With takeout prices on the rise, Josh wants to sharpen his home-cooking chops so he can whip up delicious dinners for himself and his wife. But this empty nester doesn’t want to spend all day in the kitchen. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin consults award-winning chef, food writer, and New York Times Cooking pro Sohla El-Waylly for advice on meal prep, next-level seasoning, and preparing the best rice and beans. Sohla’s new cookbook is Start Here: Instructions for Becoming a B...
Sep 03, 2024•47 min•Transcript available on Metacast Several months ago, Sarah told her best friend John she’s in love with him—but he doesn’t love her back. Now Sarah can’t get John out of her head, especially because they still talk all the time. How can Sarah move on from John? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of Anatomy of Love, to help Sarah train her heart—and her brain—to fall out of love. The first thing Sarah needs to do, Helen says, is cut off contact with John. Every time s...
Aug 27, 2024•37 min•Transcript available on Metacast Kate’s entire family loves to go on intense, day-long hikes. Kate does not. It’s just one of many differences that makes her feel like a black sheep. But Kate desperately wants to be close to her family—without disregarding her own desires or compromising on parts of her life. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Lucy Blake, author of No Family Is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality. Lucy helps Kate find her way to a family unity that works for everyone, while al...
Aug 20, 2024•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast Cooper feels like they’re constantly falling behind on their to-do list. Life is busy and household chores are the last thing they want to do. Cooper tracks everything in a detailed spreadsheet—but that spreadsheet isn’t going to take care of the dirty dishes in the sink. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dale Aucoin of Clean & Queer, a professional organizing business based in New York City. Dale explains how to prioritize tasks, make chores easier, and find a routine that w...
Aug 13, 2024•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast When Elle started a new career as a therapist, she never imagined she would be the one in need of help. After just a few months, her position at a group practice became untenable amid a lack of support from colleagues. Now she’s looking for a new job and wants to avoid a similar scenario. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace introduces Elle to leadership coach Rudhir Krishtel, who helps us rethink our relationships to co-workers—and work itself. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. ...
Aug 06, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast How do you learn to tell the perfect joke? In this special edition of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg joins Courtney and Carvell to mark five years of life-changing advice with a look back at our very first episode. It features a pastor from Oklahoma who wants to spice up his sermons. We introduce him to Gary Gulman, a New York standup comedian who makes jokes about his clinical depression. They workshop the pastor’s new joke about the New Testament, and Gary reveals “what might be the mos...
Jul 30, 2024•47 min•Transcript available on Metacast Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. With symptoms that are increasingly visible, Todd feels compelled to be upfront about his disability with potential dates—but he doesn’t know when or how to discuss it. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled. They give Todd guidance on ha...
Jul 23, 2024•46 min•Transcript available on Metacast Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre know that grandparenting is more than just cookies and Play-Doh. Don’t get us wrong, those things are fun! But the art of contemporary grandparenting requires mindfulness, intentionality, and navigating boundaries. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin talks with Marilyn and Shirley about their book, The Mindful Grandparent, and the wisdom they’ve gained as elders to 12 grandchildren. If you liked this episode check out: How To Face Your Kid’s Future Do you h...
Jul 16, 2024•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast Trisha is craving a break from her job, but she doesn’t want to drain her bank account. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin connects Trisha to DJ DiDonna, founder of The Sabbatical Project, who’s on a quest to make extended breaks accessible to all. DJ explains how to plan for a sabbatical that is both meaningful and manageable. If you liked this episode check out: How To Hit “Reset” On Your Career Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemai...
Jul 09, 2024•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast David was in the ocean in Hawaii when the unthinkable happened—a shark attacked him and bit off his leg. “I don’t think you’re gonna make it,” a medic told the 25-year-old on the helicopter ride to the hospital. But David did make it, and soon he learned that surviving the shark wasn’t the hardest part—it was what came after. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, psychiatrist and author of The Body Keeps the Score, to help David understand and deal with the lasting psy...
Jul 02, 2024•32 min•Transcript available on Metacast How To!’s senior editor Joel Meyer recently experienced a yard sale fail and wants to know what went wrong. He spent hours planning and organizing the items on his lawn, but when it was all said and done he barely made enough to cover the cost of lunch. Enter this week’s expert, Ava Seavey, a self-described master of garage-sale-ology and author of Ava’s Guide to Garage Sale Gold. Seavey tells host Courtney Martin some hilarious stories and insider tips for how to cash in on all your old stuff. ...
Jun 25, 2024•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast Meg once was a terror in the world of roller derby. But these days, her sedentary lifestyle is making everyday physical activities a tad daunting. (We’re looking at you, groceries that need to be carried up four flights of stairs!). She wants to start lifting weights, but she’s unsure where to start—and whether she can avoid the bro-culture of many weight rooms. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in writer and powerlifter Mikala Jamison, who was in Meg’s shoes not that long ago. ...
Jun 18, 2024•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast After Lin met Dave, their lives quickly became entangled. Lin joined Dave’s small business, made much-needed improvements, and charmed Dave’s family. The two also began a romantic relationship that lasted years. When it fizzled, Lin continued working at the company—and eventually uncovered Dave’s lies, deceit, and infidelity. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace welcomes Nina Renata Aron, author of Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls, to share her own experience exiting a toxic, codepe...
Jun 11, 2024•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast Paula has a big family, lots of friends, and a girlfriend she adores. For most of her life, however, she has experienced an underlying and unshakeable sense of loneliness. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kristen Radtke, the writer and illustrator behind Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness, to talk with Paula about an emotion that’s hard to talk about—and even harder to confront. If you liked this episode, check out How To Find Your People and How To Survive a Si...
Jun 04, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast Leo is a high-achieving high school senior on the cusp of graduation. Growing up in a rigorous school environment he faced endless pressure to follow the expected track of attending an elite university and eventually securing a good job. Yet, Leo feels slightly unfulfilled and is curious what an alternative path might look like. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace is joined by Abby Falik, founder of the The Flight School, and organization dedicate to helping students and parents rethink ...
May 28, 2024•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn’t think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it’s all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new advice podca...
May 21, 2024•33 min•Transcript available on Metacast Leigh is a stellar employee by all accounts. She deeply cares about the company’s mission. She gets along with her coworkers. She delivers great work. So why does every critique cut deep and leave her questioning her worth? On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin consults the columnist Alison Green, who answers tricky workplace questions at the advice site, Ask a Manager. Alison helps Leigh figure out what to do with criticism, forge better relationships with higher-ups, and even give better...
May 14, 2024•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast When Allen’s gym crush asked him—point blank—if he liked someone, he panicked. Should he tell her? What should he do if she wasn’t actually flirting with him? On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin finds out what happened and brings in Jeff Guenther, therapist and author of the new book Big Dating Energy. (You might know him as TherapyJeff from TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube.) Jeff gives Allen the tools to flirt more authentically, stick to his non-negotiables, and lean into his self-confide...
May 07, 2024•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast On this episode of How To!: co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace sit down to talk about his new memoir, Another Word for Love. In the book, Carvell’s examination of his own journey becomes a reflection on how so many of us spend our lives trying to become whole again. He and Courtney discuss his approach to writing and interviewing, what it means to be seen as good (versus actually being good), and why it’s often so hard to forgive yourself. If you liked this episode check out: How To Fi...
Apr 30, 2024•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast A few years ago, Leah was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Her condition has posed many serious challenges, including how to start and maintain friendships. She wants to build a rich social life, but her symptoms—and the stigmas surrounding mental health—often get in the way. When Leah does meet a new person, she struggles with how (and when) to talk about her diagnosis and feels intense pressure to be “the perfect friend.” On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings on psychotherapist Dr. A...
Apr 23, 2024•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast “Doing the work” is a phrase often heard when talking about racial justice. We heard it a lot after the death of George Floyd in 2020. And we need to continue talking about it—but there’s an important aspect of “the work” that’s been missing. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in Garrett Bucks, author of The Right Kind of White and founder of The Barnraisers Project, to help Elizabeth Doerr talk to fellow white parents about the implications of opting out of their kids’ public sc...
Apr 16, 2024•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast Mia is a professional violinist. She’s played in symphonies. She’s played in improv groups. She’s played as a form of personal exploration. But now she’s taking on a big, conceptual project that may have nothing to do with music. Instead, she wants to create a piece rooted in connection. The only problem? She doesn’t know what she wants to create. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings in storyteller extraordinaire Michaela Leslie-Rule. Michaela talks Mia through the process of bring...
Apr 09, 2024•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we’ve ever met. They swap stories about office jokes that fell flat, how to navigate a suddenly tense situation and what t...
Apr 02, 2024•34 min•Transcript available on Metacast Forgetfulness. Repetitiveness. Confusion. Dementia is a long, painful road for both the person living with it, caregivers, and their additional loved ones. Mara’s mom just received her diagnosis and Mara is wondering what is next for their family. She turned to our host Courtney Martin for guidance—since Courtney is going through the same thing with her father. On this episode of How To!: Courtney and Mara are joined by Tami Anastasia, author of Essential Strategies for the Dementia Caregiver. A...
Mar 19, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast Shannon is set to become an ordained minister—but she has always struggled with public speaking. Here’s the thing: She’s fine in front of large gatherings. In smaller gatherings, however, she mentally “freezes up” and rambles until she regains her train of thought. As Shannon prepares to start interacting with a congregation, Courtney Martin sits her down with former How To! host Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Charles gives Shannon ...
Mar 12, 2024•38 min•Transcript available on Metacast When Patti retired a few months ago, everyone told her she would love the freedom and flexibility that came with leaving the workforce. Not so. The transition has left Patti grieving the loss of her routine and sense of purpose—and she’s wondering how to find fulfillment in life’s (gulp!) third act. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin welcomes Brad Stulberg, author of Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing—Including You. Brad helps Patti rethink this massive transformation an...
Mar 05, 2024•38 min•Transcript available on Metacast Our series about friendship ends with a look at, well, how friendships end. Alice and Grace connected when their kids started dating. They became fast friends whose family lives were intertwined—in a good way. They even joked that they might end up raising grandchildren together. When the kids broke up, Alice and Grace broke apart, too. Now, Alice is wondering whether she should fight for her cherished relationship or just move on. On today’s episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Carissa Potter, an...
Feb 27, 2024•31 min•Transcript available on Metacast In part two of our series on friendship, we’re looking at how to revitalize a relationship that began in a previous phase of life. Michelle and Blair became fast friends in grad school. That bond survived graduation, marriages, and even a cross-country move. They now live just a short drive from one another—but things have never felt so distant. Michelle wants to know how to evolve their friendship to be more compatible with the present day. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin brings on Rhaina C...
Feb 20, 2024•38 min•Transcript available on Metacast Love typically reigns in February. But, here at How To!, we are giving friendship its due. For the next three episodes, we’re going to teach you how to find friends in surprising places, how to grow and change in your friendship during life transitions, and even how to recover from a friendship breakup. So today we’re starting with a potential cure for our epidemic of loneliness: intergenerational friendships. Emily is in her early 20s and has been rethinking who she considers to be potential fr...
Feb 13, 2024•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast Dry January has come and gone, but the conversation about alcohol—and rethinking our relationship with it—is still very much with us. This week’s listener, Natalie, wants to move past the abundance vs. abstinence debate and talk about a third option: thoughtful moderation. In this episode, Courtney Martin brings on journalist Rosamund Dean, author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change Your Life and Well, Well, Well, a Substack about living better, for longer. She shares how she found ...
Feb 06, 2024•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
