Instead of viewing ADHD and autism through the medical model, we need to view them through a strengths-based model as the neurodiversity movement does. A strengths-based model uses interests and strengths to help with challenges. We talk a lot about it in terms of parenting and educating, but now it’s time to teach our kids to operate through a strengths-based lens. In this episode, Dr. Matt outlines the steps to help your child develop a strengths-based perspective specific to their own strengt...
Apr 06, 2023•32 min•Ep 216•Transcript available on Metacast If there’s one thing parents of struggling learners understand, it’s that the IEP process is complex. Between the law (IDEA), qualifications, the IEP document, goals, measurements, and formal meetings, there’s a lot to know and navigate to ensure that your neurodivergent child receives the education they deserve (and have a right to). In this episode, I’m joined by Master IEP Coach, Catherine Whitcher. Catherine shares insights on the IEP process, two main strategies for IEP meetings and what to...
Mar 30, 2023•38 min•Ep 215•Transcript available on Metacast Biology influences behavior. Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world does, too. The challenges neurodivergent kids experience at school and in their classrooms are tied to their neurological differences and how their bodies interpret their environment and gauge their safety. When kids don’t feel safe, they cannot regulate and they cannot learn. In this episode, Dr. Emily King helps us understand the added layer of complexity that neurodivergence adds to a student’s school experience. We dis...
Mar 23, 2023•33 min•Ep 214•Transcript available on Metacast It’s easy to fall into bad patterns with our interactions with others, especially our kids. But a better relationship is always possible, as long as you make changes and do the work. In this episode, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. is back with me to talk about making amends, repairing the relationship, and pivoting to more healthy and rewarding interactions.
Mar 16, 2023•32 min•Ep 213•Transcript available on Metacast Intelligence and learning and doing are different things. An individual can be highly intelligent and also struggle with getting things done or even with learning itself. When someone has both a high IQ and a learning disability, they’re referred to as twice-exceptional, or 2e. As you can imagine, this can be a struggle in school, as well as other aspects of life, because people tend to automatically think that an intelligent person is a highly capable person. I’m joined by 2e expert and counsel...
Mar 09, 2023•33 min•Ep 212•Transcript available on Metacast It’s the 6 year anniversary of the Beautifully Complex podcast so I’m looking back at some of the most pivotal lessons I’ve had about parenting neurodivergent kids. I’ve interviewed nearly 150 experts and also parented my son from young teen to young adult during that time. I’ve learned a lot! Listen in as I explain my six biggest aha’s and what they could mean for you and your child — the interconnectedness of biology and behavior, pressure is actually a demotivator, rejection sensitive dysphor...
Mar 02, 2023•32 min•Ep 211•Transcript available on Metacast Many neurodivergent kids — including those with ADHD, autism, and anxiety — can be quite aggressive at home or at school. To cope with and improve aggressive behavior, you have to understand why it happens. In a global sense, the child doesn’t feel safe, and acknowledging this is a great place to start. Tosha Schore of Parenting Boys Peacefully is my guest on this episode. In her work with families, Tosha helps parents discover the root of the aggression and work to diffuse it. Listen in to lear...
Feb 23, 2023•40 min•Ep 210•Transcript available on Metacast We’ve been busy recording the sessions for the upcoming Decoding Behavior Summit, March 3-5, 2023. In this episode of the podcast, Sarah and I reflect on the common principles and strategies we heard from the experts in this Summit, including your role in your child’s behavior, the importance of adult regulation, the transformative properties of a sense of control for kids, and more.
Feb 16, 2023•28 min•Ep 209•Transcript available on Metacast The parenting long game is all about putting the right mindset and strategies in play so that kids can succeed and thrive. As parents, we often spend a lot of time in the “yuk,” overwhelmed by what’s hard and negative. And we’re wired to focus on the negative as a means of protection. However, to parent with the long game, Rachel Bailey tells us that we have to shift from judgment to understanding. Judgment is often followed by a negative narrative we create. Understanding is often followed by t...
Feb 09, 2023•31 min•Ep 208•Transcript available on Metacast It can be hard for our neurodivergent kids to find their path into adulthood. They often don’t yet know what they’re interested in pursuing long term, even after graduating from high school. The key is to support kids, teens, and young adults in exploring their interests, as actor and puppeteer David Bizarro illustrates as he shares his story with us. You’ll gain insights on the ADHD brain and that journey and leave with a sense of hope for your child’s future.
Feb 02, 2023•40 min•Ep 207•Transcript available on Metacast Low demand parenting doesn’t mean that we dismiss all expectations of a child and let them do whatever they want. Instead, low demand parenting means dropping demands and reducing expectations in order to meet kids with radical acceptance. AS Amanda Diekman explains in this episode, the purpose of the low demand life is to find ease and joy. But how exactly do you shift from the high demand parenting that’s instinctual to most people to low demand parenting? Amanda explains that you start with r...
Jan 26, 2023•38 min•Ep 206•Transcript available on Metacast The challenge of raising a child with differences in a mostly intolerant world is very real. There’s both joy and heartache, as Kaylor Taylor illustrates in her book, “Canaries Among Us.” At stake in this quest to honor our kids’ individuality, is the mental and emotional health of an ever-growing population of neurodivergent children. In this episode, Kayla and I discuss the injurious nature of being a misunderstood and different kid in rigid societal systems, such as education, including the l...
Jan 19, 2023•57 min•Ep 205•Transcript available on Metacast “A brain that feels safe will not get stuck.” That’s how Britt Frank, author of “The Science of Stuck,” explains the connection between a sense of psychological safety and being stuck. In this episode, she not only shares that understanding of why we get stuck, but she outlines her step-by-step process to move through stuckness, something we’re all too often trying to help our neurodivergent kids do. Listen in and learn about the power of choice as well.
Jan 12, 2023•31 min•Ep 204•Transcript available on Metacast We’re addressing a listener question about letting kids fail in this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast. When parents say, “Let kids fail,” they usually mean revoking all of the help and support they were providing and letting the kid handle it on their own, even if that means letting them fail (often knowing it means that a neurodivergent kid will fail). Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. and I don’t support letting kids fail in the literal sense of that phrase. This is a complex issue because kids n...
Jan 05, 2023•32 min•Ep 203•Transcript available on Metacast The transition into college and then out in the “real world” are challenging enough, but can be even more daunting and complex when you have ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or anxiety. Parents want to help their kids succeed and thrive but are no longer able to step in to help in the ways they had while their child was under age 18. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, Alex Gilbert, who has ADHD and dyslexia herself, outlines a plan to help neurodivergent students succeed in college and ...
Dec 29, 2022•31 min•Ep 202•Transcript available on Metacast Did you know that only about 10 percent of U.S. high school students get 9-10 hours of sleep a night, the amount required for healthy sleep at that age? Teens who aren’t sleeping enough don’t just walk around groggy. A lack of healthy sleep negatively impacts mental health, cognitive function, reactivity, emotional regulation, immune function, and relationships. Clearly, adequate sleep is important. But how do we help teens with a lot of demands and distractions prioritize sleep? That’s what Hea...
Dec 22, 2022•30 min•Ep 201•Transcript available on Metacast In celebration of the 200th episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I have my son Luke back on the show. It’s been 14 years since his first diagnosis of ADHD, and we’ve both learned a lot of lessons along the way. In this episode, Luke and I each share our top 5 lessons learned — my lessons in parenting a neruodivergent child and his lessons in being a neurodivergent individual. The episode starts with Luke sharing his lessons for other neurodivergent kids, teens, and young adults, so we enc...
Dec 15, 2022•39 min•Ep 200•Transcript available on Metacast There’s a cultural misconception that self-care is treating yourself to something, like a spa day or a weekend away with friends. While that is a type of self-care, it doesn’t sustain you through the day-to-day like internal self-care does, managing our stress, our mindset, and our thoughts and emotions. Don’t discount internal self-care as “fluff” — I can personally attest that it’s life-changing, as can my guest for this episode, licensed psychotherapist, Sarah Sanders, MFT. Sarah outlines the...
Dec 08, 2022•30 min•Ep 199•Transcript available on Metacast It can be difficult to secure accommodations and services for your child at school. It requires that many people agree on a shared vision and how to make that student’s vision for their education a reality through necessary support. Getting everyone on the same page is key, along with focusing on a few priorities in the here and now. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab. Beth shares her 3-part process to setting priorities for your child around sch...
Dec 01, 2022•33 min•Ep 198•Transcript available on Metacast Did you know that we are reactive by nature? That’s right! Our brains are wired to respond in kind for protection. But responding in kind — like yelling at your child after they yelled at you — is rarely needed in today’s modern world. And it’s never helpful, which is why we need to reduce our reactivity with our kids and parent from a place of calm intention. My guest on this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast is parenting and mental health educator, Laura Linn Knight. Laura shares her ...
Nov 17, 2022•27 min•Ep 197•Transcript available on Metacast Recent data shows us that anxiety and depression have spiked tremendously in kids since the pandemic. Kids are struggling more than ever and they need our help (adults too, by the way). But what does that help look like? In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, psychologist and author of several books on anxiety and depression, Dr. Gregory Jantz explains the signs of anxiety and depression in children, what we can do as parents and educators to help them, and when and how to seek prof...
Nov 10, 2022•22 min•Ep 196•Transcript available on Metacast The difference between supporting a child and enabling a child is often a very fine line when you’re talking about neurodivergent kids, who need extra support. Plus, busy, overwhelmed parents often default to enabling because it’s just easier to do it yourself a lot of the time and you’re on auto-pilot in survival mode yourself. So how do you parent more intentionally and as a supporter? In this episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. and I discuss the difference between...
Nov 03, 2022•31 min•Ep 196•Transcript available on Metacast I truly believe that we all have greatness within us. Each and every one of us. My guest for this episode, Cathay Domoney, believes this wholeheartedly as well, and it’s one of the core tenets of her work with children and families. Listen in as Cathy shares her process to help kids discover their own individual greatness. We talk about the mindset and “pure filter of love and curiosity” required to truly allow our kids to discover their authentic selves and shine, which starts by stripping away...
Oct 27, 2022•29 min•Ep 195•Transcript available on Metacast Parenting is hard. Parenting kids in this generation is even harder. Our kids today have a lot more potential pitfalls — and risks — to navigate with the internet and social media. And we parents have that whole additional world of risk to help our kids navigate. It’s vast, it’s tricky, and it’s scary. In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m talking with Titania Jordan with Bark Technologies. Listen in to learn all the dangers our kids face online as well as important conversatio...
Oct 20, 2022•31 min•Ep 194•Transcript available on Metacast Are you pressuring your child? You may not realize when you’re adding pressure, but you are very likely doing it often and not recognizing it. Neurodivergent kids don’t do well under pressure. It’s dysregulating and actually makes them less capable of actually doing the thing you’re pressuring them to do. In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I outline how we pressure our kids, what the pressure does to them and why we should stop, and what to do instead.
Oct 13, 2022•34 min•Ep 193•Transcript available on Metacast When you don’t have ADHD yourself, it’s really how to know how your child with ADHD thinks and feels. Even if you do have ADHD too, the experience is different for each individual with ADHD, meaning it’s different for your child than it was and is for you. Yet, it’s important for parents to know what life is like for your kids so we can help them thrive. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I’m talking with Dr. Dawn Brown of the ADHD wellness center about how to discover how your child...
Oct 06, 2022•57 min•Ep 192•Transcript available on Metacast If there’s one tool we all need for life in this world — kids and parents — it’s calming techniques. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast I explain the role of the vagus nerve and our autonomic nervous system in getting us activated and feeling unsafe, and then list more than 20 tools and techniques to use for calming yourself or your child, by stimulating the vagus nerve to calm the nervous system.
Sep 29, 2022•21 min•Ep 191•Transcript available on Metacast Seeing that ADHD and autism can be genetic, it stands to reason that there are many neurodivergent parents raising neurodivergent kids. Terry Matlen is one of them, but she’s also an expert on ADHD, especially in women. In this episode, Terry shares the feelings of guilt and inadequacy she felt raising her kids, because she struggled with many of the daily tasks due to her ADHD. She also offers some simple strategies to help make things like preparing meals and cleaning up more manageable when y...
Sep 15, 2022•32 min•Ep 190•Transcript available on Metacast One in five children has a learning disability or attention issue that causes school struggles. In the U.S. alone, that’s approximately 56.6 million students (Educationdata.org). And yet, we continue with an educational system that is solely focused on conformity and compliance. It is built for your average student with little consideration for those that can’t succeed in that system, even though they are virtually required to. My own son is one of those students and, despite a gifted intelligen...
Sep 01, 2022•54 min•Ep 189•Transcript available on Metacast Most of our systems that involve children are designed on the compliance model — that’s true in parenting and educating. We’ve leaned on compliance in our educational system since the 1800s, and it’s been part of our parenting culture for centuries. And yet, neuroscience has now taught us that there’s a monumentally better way. Through research we know that our neurobiology is a driving force in behavior — particularly our autonomic nervous system and our brain. We know that there are sensitivit...
Aug 25, 2022•39 min•Ep 188•Transcript available on Metacast 
