For our very first guest of the holiday season, I invited on Dr Lisa Miller - a professor at Columbia University, author, clinical psychologist and researcher to discuss her profound work on the intersection between spirituality and mental health. Our spiritual health is often the dimension of wellbeing we neglect the most, but in this episode we uncover why having a strong belief system, sense of purpose, oneness and path is invaluable, especially in our 20s. This includes: The distinction betw...
Dec 03, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast There is a lot of terrible news out there, so much so that we could spend every hour of every day reading it and still not be done. What's worse is that we can now access that news at any time, any where, any place from our phones and this has lead to a phenomena known as doomscrolling. Doomscrolling may feel comforting, but it leads to more existential anxiety, stress and apathy. It's not great for our mental health. Today we break down: What are the different types of doomscrolling Why do anxi...
Nov 29, 2024•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast The best things in life aren't always the easiest and it's often this exertion and extra effort that holds us back from diving in or fully committing. Whether it's a new routine, an ambitious study schedule or workout plan, knowing how we can use psychology and neuroscience to make hard tasks easier is incredibly valuable. In today's episode we discuss: The 5 minute rule The power of a persona Using mental imagery and visualisation to do hard things The power of learned industriousness The 3 for...
Nov 25, 2024•34 min•Transcript available on Metacast Friendships are hard. Add in distance and they can get even harder at times. But long distance friendships seem like a fact of life in our 20s as people scatter for school, work, travel, and just because they want to. Whilst it's said that some 50% of these relationships fail, I want to give you the tools to help your long distance friendships succeed. In this episode we discuss: The psychological challenges of long distance friendships How friendship is influenced by proximity and convenience M...
Nov 22, 2024•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast Public speaking is one of our biggest fears as a species - some 75% of us list public speaking as our biggest and greatest fear. In today's episode, I want to discuss why that is and where this fear stems from, socially, psychologically and evolutionary, but also how we can transform our attitude to public speaking and excel, including tips based in psychology such as: Creating a persona and modelling a hero Embracing flow rather than a need for structure The power of slowing down Anxiety and pa...
Nov 19, 2024•35 min•Transcript available on Metacast Solo travelling is something that we romanticise a lot in our 20s and is a big thing on many of our bucket lists. It can be such a transformative experience, it allows you to listen to your intuition better, explore the places you've always dreamed about without waiting for others and builds a unique kind of confidence. In today's episode, we break down the psychology of solo travelling, including: What personality traits make a good solo traveller Why are we so drawn to solo travelling The 4 ma...
Nov 15, 2024•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast A lot of us try to convince ourselves we can be friends with our ex in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, but is that necesserily the best idea? In 2022 I did an episode with my ex-boyfriend talking about how a friendship was totally possible, well since then it is obvious to say that I have changed my mind, and in this episode I give my reasons, including: Why we (mistakedly) try to stay friends with our exes The types of relationships where this feels possible The consequences How it impact...
Nov 12, 2024•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Many of us have been facing increasing levels of political anxiety in the past days and weeks. It seems that the world has never been more divisive and polarised and there is a lot that we are uncertain and fearful of. In today’s episode we talk about how we can acknowledge that the future feels scary, but still find an internal sense of safety and peace, including: The value of stoic principles and focusing on what you can control The psychology of a strong belief system The power of staying pr...
Nov 08, 2024•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast We all know the stereotypes about the eldest child, the youngest and the only child, but the middle child often seems to be left out, and not just from our conversations on birth order theory, but also seemingly from the family sometimes. In today's episode, we putting a spotlight on the middle children, including how their position in the family makes them so agreeable, why they often become the conflict mediators, and how this can build resentment later in life. We also discuss why middle chil...
Nov 04, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast The idea of a 'soft life' originated from a group of Nigerian influencers who chose the term to describe a way of living that was comfortable, joyful, minimised stress whilst prioritised self care and simple beauty, in comparison to hustle culture, burnout and urgency. In today's episode we are going to go through 5 practical tips to make this gentle life your reality, including: The 'Picture This' exercise The new way to approach your To Do list How to organically regulate your nervous system C...
Nov 01, 2024•38 min•Transcript available on Metacast Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including: The debate around what makes a hobby How many hobbies do you actually need? How much time should you spend doing your hobbies? The Rule of Four for hobbies...
Oct 29, 2024•37 min•Transcript available on Metacast Daydreaming can be a perfectly normal part of life - zoning out in the shower, before we fall asleep, on the train to work. But some of us cross over into dangerous territory or what we call maladaptive daydreaming where we can't pull ourselves away from the fantasy. We feel disconnected and it makes our real life feel so much less bright and enjoyable. It can cause us a lot of distress and distraction. Why is that? And why can't we stop ourselves? In today's episode, we break down: What makes d...
Oct 25, 2024•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Sometimes the loudest critic, our biggest hater is not someone we know, it is ourselves. We are the ones who are the first to judge ourselves, to shut ourselves and our ambitions down, to say the nastiest things. In today's episode we break down why we are our own worst critic, including: How we learn self criticism in childhood The evolutionary component to criticism The role of the super ego The role of comparison Why no one is really looking at your that closely How to embrace radical self co...
Oct 22, 2024•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast In our 20s it can feel like a mad rush to find the one. If you are single and dating, you know the experience of going on what seems like dozens of dates only to be disappointed and, at the end of the day, exhausted and yet you still haven't found someone. In this episode, we discuss why that is including: The signs your experiencing dating burnout What dating burnout and traditional burnout have in common The role of swipe based dating apps Why this occurs and the emotional impact The psycholog...
Oct 17, 2024•35 min•Transcript available on Metacast At some stage in our 20s, all of us will experience what I call 'The Loneliest Chapter' - a period where we feel detached, disconnected and isolated. Whilst this experience can feel terrible and make us question our relationships, friendships and selves, it's an important rite of passage and actually ends up teaching us a lot. In today's episode we discuss: What is the 'lonely' chapter of our 20s? My personal journey with loneliness What are some signs you may be in it, right now? Why does this ...
Oct 14, 2024•35 min•Transcript available on Metacast What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it). In today's episode, we are joined by the orig...
Oct 11, 2024•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast Shame follows us everywhere. So many of us are bound by shame about our past, our mistakes, our identity, our looks, our decisions and choices. This can make living a meaningful and fulfilling life incredibly difficult when you have your own personal, shame bully following you everywhere. In todays episode we learn: How shame gets implanted in us The links between shame and trauma Shame vs. guilt How shame manifests in hidden ways What a life without shame could look like? How to release shame b...
Oct 08, 2024•38 min•Transcript available on Metacast At some stage in our 20s we'll have to make a life changing decision where the right choice is not at all clear: stay or leave my job, the country, my relationships? We can become paralysed in that moment, unable to take a step forward, not realising that doing nothing is, in itself, a decision. In today's episode we break down: Why we struggle to make hard decisions The paradox of choice Indecisiveness and a lack of self trust The 'Wisest Self' thought exercise The 10/10/10 rule for making hard...
Oct 04, 2024•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast The right person at the wrong time might be one of the saddest kinds of love stories we come across. This person may be perfect for us, our dream partner, but factors like distance, life, obligations, emotional readiness get in the way and mean that we can't be together. Despite knowing we can't be together, we can't let go and pine after this person, wondering what we could have done differently. Or is right person, wrong time, actually just a myth? Is there ever such a thing as the 'wrong time...
Sep 30, 2024•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Let's talk about what's been going on with my mental health recently and what's changed. This is a rather vulnerable episode so please check in with yourself before listening. Lifeline (AUS): 13 11 14 National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US): 988 Samaritans (UK): 116 123 Mental health resources (worldwide): https://www.helpguide.org/find-help Follow Jemma on Instagram: @ jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @ thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio...
Sep 27, 2024•35 min•Transcript available on Metacast Work makes up a large component of our lives. It's estimated that 1/3 of our waking lives will be spent working, so when that environment is toxic or harmful, it takes it's toll. Especially in our 20s, a toxic workplace can be quite a negative, formative experience and leave us with poor confidence, imposter syndrome and chronic burnout. In today's episode we discuss the psychological impact of bad jobs, including: The burnout cycle Psychological enmeshment with a workplace Long term impact on s...
Sep 24, 2024•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast When someone criticises us we naturally feel on edge and defensive. This is because criticism threatens our ego and our sense of self and so we have a very emotional reaction. But that doesn't have to be the case. In today's episode, we break down: What makes us so sensitive to criticism Hypercritical parenting and an aversion to feedback Rejection sensitivity and criticism The differences between criticism and feedback How to properly approach criticism When the criticism isn't worth your time ...
Sep 20, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast If nothing else, our 20s are a time for reinvention and transformation. We become clearer and clearer about the version of us we want to be, and hopefully more confident around expressing our authentic elves, but sometimes this is interrupted by periods of boredom, stagnation, isolation and discomfort. These are all signs that something in our lives needs to change, and it needs to change now. In today's episode we break down five ways to reinvent yourself during your 20s, including: Theory of o...
Sep 17, 2024•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast Flirting! Usually thought of as something used to express romantic or physical interest may actually be the secret to unlocking more connections than you can ever imagine: platonic and romantic. In today's episode we break down the psychology of flirting, including how to gain confidence in your flirting ability, the flirt languages or styles, why flirting is all about connection and low expectations and, of course, how to bring back flirting into a long term relationship. We are joined by the F...
Sep 12, 2024•42 min•Transcript available on Metacast We all get anxious at times, but what we forget in those moments is that anxiety is just there to protect us, it's trying to do its job, and the more we lean in and play along, the more we start to feel in control again. In today's episode, we break down the four ways I've made my anxiety work for me, including: Turning anxiety into excitement The certainities list method The personification method Channeling anxious energy into creative energy + more If you're someone who struggles with ongoing...
Sep 10, 2024•30 min•Transcript available on Metacast Limerance - the state of having undeniable feelings for someone who does not feel the same way - feels so much like love but can be so confusing, because deep down we know this person is probably not the one. Despite that we find it impossible to move on, impossible to disconnect or detach despite our best efforts because our affections for this person feel so permanently wired into our brain. Today we talk about why that may be, including: The first ever studies into limerance The 4 stages of l...
Sep 06, 2024•42 min•Transcript available on Metacast Our attention is constantly being pulled in every direction: we're thinking about the past, overthinking the future, getting notifications from our phones, information from our environment. When was the last time you truly slowed down and enjoyed the present? When was the last time you savoured the moment like you do a nice meal, or a sleep in? Today we are discussing the power of mindfulness, and the power of staying present, including: The three biggest enemies to staying present The psycholog...
Sep 03, 2024•38 min•Transcript available on Metacast Money is as much psychological and emotional as it is a physical resource. For that reason, sometimes money and our mental health don't always mix. Many people think that we only experience financial anxiety or financial stress when we are struggling with money, but it turns out that it's a lot more complicated than that. In today's episode, we break down the interactions between our psychology and our mental health, including: The difference between objective and subjective financial stress The...
Aug 30, 2024•52 min•Transcript available on Metacast Our fear of being perceived is more than just social anxiety, its a real phobia around being scrutinised, observed and primarily judged by others. It's also greatly limiting your potential and ability to be your true self. But there is a way through, there is a way to escape the constant fixation on what others are thinking about you. In today's episode, we discuss: The origins and effects of scopophobia How our fear of being perceived is both a social and specific phobia Why do we worry about w...
Aug 26, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast Loving someone who struggles with their mental health can be devastating. You want to do all you can to help, but no one has ever taught you how or what exactly you should say, how you can help, the right questions to ask. In today's episode we break down the biggest pieces of advice I have for people who are supporting someone they love with their mental health from education, to understanding our processing languages, listening, advocating and setting boundaries! Listen now. Follow Jemma on In...
Aug 23, 2024•37 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
