The Return of Stassi Schroeder
Jackie sits down with friend Stassi Schroeder to discuss motherhood, cancellations and Mormon candle culture.
Episodes
Bitch Bible
A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.
Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.
Episodes
I Had A Fucking Baby.
Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and ending with an infant wedding celebration.Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and ending with an infant wedding celebration.
The Gayfather Pt 1
Jackie is joined by her babies godmother Max Bronner. I can't really remember what we talked about but I am sure it's very offensive and for that we half heartedly apologize!
La DoLcE ViTa!
Jackie has not given birth yet and verbally assaults her audience on the tail end of this 40 year pregnancy. She also disccuses Kardashian drama, Drake's Birkin collection and why Julianne Hough might be terrorizing her by way of edible arrangement.
Sassy & Septic!
Jackie gets fisted both medically and metaphorically in the last week of her pregnancy enduring a plumbing crisis, an emotional journey to TJ Maxx a la Bethenny Frankel and various undercarriage catastrophes.
For America!
Jackie celebrates the Fourth of July by sharing all the things she hates about our country and its patrons! Including but not limited to: Target, Mother Nature, "Quiet Luxury" and Jennifer Lopez's alcoholic beverage line.
Preparation H
Jackiehas hemorrhoids, new psychological warfare tips and a not so sunny disposition as she enters the final days of her pregnancy. She covers "The Idol", mourns the Titanic excursion gone wrong and her most recent gripes with Instagram.
Reserve Fuel
Jackie is on reserve fuel and using her final battery percentage to assasinatemartini reels, the new feminist agenda, being haunted by her dead mother, broken childhood dreams and problematic Halloween costume ideas from the past.
Sur La Lab(ia)
Jackie is struggling in the final moments of her pregnancy. She recaps the final Vanderpump Rules reunion, her most recent parking lot verbal altercation and channels Bethenny Frankel in a very off brand moment of sharing her current favorite things! Cue the anal leakage.
Pride & Prejudice?
Jackie dedicates this episode and the entirety of its offensive contents to the gays. She recaps her babymoon, close encounter with Beverley Mitchell and her sexual future with Matty Healy!
Caravan to Nowhere
Jackie is once again alone and miserable in her last weeks of pregnancy alienating the masses by talking about body dysmorphia, objectifying her unborn baby and recapping Succession and Vanderpump Rules all whilst trying not to murder her pear shaped husband.
GO TO SLEEP!
Jackie deep dives Bethenny Frankel's social media decisions, romanticizes throwing phones at people and gives some unpopular pregnancy updates.
Nuclear Tom.
Jackie psychoanalyzesthe Vanderpump Rules finale, Taylor Swift and Matt Healy's relationship and pays homage to rough parenting skills.
SILVER ALERT.
Jackie is back from a home reno 5150 and ready to get cancelled! She recounts Grandma Gloria almost being abducted, her new problematic event planning business and why Mindy Kaling should stop hiking ASAP.
"Oh Scary!"
Jackieis dealing with pregnancy body shaming after a verbally abusive "masseuse" objectifies her. She also deals with her on again off again stalker, runs into CHERYL, gives a fun diabetic update and covers Met Gala fashion!
Rising Phoenix
Jackie survived therapy camp and proves to show little to no growth. She breaks down the psychology behind the Sofia Richie wedding hype, makes a strong case for child labor and how to convince your significant other that you don't gp number two.
Sirloin, Farewell.
Jackieis away at therapy camp and decides to go out with a bang. She discovers ground beef under her breasts, has a pedicure emergency with Grandma Gloria and reflects on a problematic science project.
Dalai Trauma
Jackie is getting ready for her therapy retreat and for one final purge decides to cancel the Dalai Lama, make a case for consensual beastiality and why we should rebrand slut shaming! She hath risen!
Artichokehold
Jackie has a setback in her blissful pregnancy and considers leaving her marriage to be a single mother feasting on innocent souls and artichoke hearts.
Eucalyptits
Jackie warns listeners of the aesthetic hazards of watching "Daisy Jones and The Six", makes a strong case for Eucalypts girlies and explains why her and Andrew almost got divorced over his latest failed home repair.
Beef Curtain Boundaries
Jackie answers some listener questions, talks about her vagina falling out of her leotard at her sister's wedding and how to instill boundaries in this digital age of instant gratification!
Good as Mold!
Jackie survives a mold infestation and is in her new studio in her old crusty robe strategizing Raquelle Leviss' publicity crisis, deals with yet another nail salon trauma and rehabilitates after her sister's wedding weekend!
IT'S ABOUT TOM.
Jackie unpacks the Vanderpump Rules drama, Selena Gomez vs Hailey Bieber (kill me) and shares a low cal shirley temple recipe because she is nothing if not multidimensional.
Papaya Poltergeist
Jackie enters dicey pregnancy territory after ingesting a papaya salad, doubles down on her anti- Apple Watch stance and breaks down "Lucky Girl Syndrome" with some actual authority.
This One's For Mindy.
Jackie is joined by her best friend and life partner Max Bronner to discuss raising children,why wearing an Apple watch to a wedding is a death sentence and a myriad of other deeply unflattering and offensive context. This episode is dedicated to Mindy Benet Bronner.
HOLLYWOOD GLAHM!
Jackie spreads more toxic negativity with public hatredfor "Hollywood Glam" home decor, loser baby clothes, Valentines day theatrics, her latest Bling Ring baby heist and superbowl recap!
The Hills Have Spies
Jackie reveals the gender of her demon seed, championsChild Labor Laws, recaps the Grammy Awards and advises Pamela Anderson on her eyebrows.
Once Upon A Mormon...
Jackie almost has a euphoric encounter with a Mormon but unstead gets sold solar panels after witnessing a geriatric woman being dragged by a great dane. She also discusses "Vanilla Girl" aesthetic trends and the altercation between Caroline Manzo and Brandi Glanville.
Soup for The Soul
Jackie delivers a moving poem to Lenny Hochstein, explains how she ended up at a real housewives shabbat dinner and ruins any chance of being invited to Tulum with Selena Gomez.
Mama Bear!
Jackie has been keeping a secret and is with child. She blames "hormones" while she alienates most of her audience by eviscerating women on the internet, organizing a march to exterminate birdlife and recaps some general pop culture happenings.