Lots of news to get into today! First up, we start off with DOG THOUGHTS that includes an absolutely iconic voicemail from a very good husband listener named Gerald. Yes, Gerald, this time we ARE talking about you! If YOU want to tell us more about bull penis use-cases, call the Best Friend Party Phone at (703) 829-0003. And we have a new segment: The Reddit Report! What on Eru’s green Middle Earth is friggin HAPPENING around here??? Is it so hard to all agree that literal Nazis are bad an...
Feb 06, 2025•59 min•Transcript available on Metacast This week we welcome Rafil Kroll-Zaidi , our in-house private eye and bear oil enthusiast, who gives us some pretty hot gossip in this week’s Segment P.U.B.E.S. We’re learning who these dangerous yahoos are stocking Trump’s cabinet, and this week’s featured player is: -An alumnus from America’s most expensive clown college, Princeton* -A geography novice and a military fangirl -A former Fox & Friends host -A bona fide dick-shooter That’s right, it’s P.U.B.E of the week Peter Hegseth! Good lu...
Jan 30, 2025•1 hr 9 min•Transcript available on Metacast A real embarrassment of riches over here on the Text Me Back side of the internet. First, we pay tribute to David Lynch, which bridges poetically into our next phase of entertainment: the Trump administration’s trailblazing focus on Making Hollywood Great Again with washed up losers who failed out of Hollywood! If art isn’t dead already, these freakin’ ding dongs will make sure it’s killed for good. But you know what? We also have good news. Our segment Normal News brings us wonderful news about...
Jan 23, 2025•1 hr 15 min•Transcript available on Metacast We’re back again! And maybe this episode is slightly more normal than last week’s (complimentary)? We’re back on our Whatcha Watchin’ nonsense, and we’re talking Later Daters, The Ultimatum, Dateline, Sports (Beyoncé), and last and absolutely least: ReelShorts (??). Have you seen Later Daters?? TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS at deartextmeback@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram. Are you getting served ReelShorts slop? Tell Meagan EVERYTHING via the Best Friend Party Phone at (703) 829-0003. Bonus point...
Jan 16, 2025•1 hr 2 min•Ep 2•Transcript available on Metacast It may be the dead of winter, but in our hearts the clammy buds of spring are bursting–and so are Lindy and Meagan!—with squeaky-clean teeth, resolutions, and creamed corn. This week, they dive into their post-holiday recap, revisit their 2024 affirmations, and commit to their new 2025 goals (including being Even Better Better Businesswomen!!). Plus, the Text Me Backolytes share their own resolutions! We are eating fruit, sewing, cooking, and enriching our pets’ lives. We are going to the ...
Jan 09, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep 1•Transcript available on Metacast No one’s going hungry this week with your beloved TMBTL of the Dog hosts on the case. That’s right, Lindy and Meagan have teamed up once again with Luke and Andrew of Too Beautiful to Live to bring you another episode that will take you on several journeys involving puppies in witness protection, Meagan’s little buggies, Luke’s homicidal tendencies, and Andrew’s connection to a famous TMB earworm involving dogs, shit, and peach pits. In other words, a perfectly normal crossover event hosted by f...
Nov 29, 2024•1 hr 14 min•Ep 34•Transcript available on Metacast BBW Updates! Corny Tyme! A nostalgic game! Lindy’s delirious brush with VH1 fame! This episode has it all! In this segment-stacked episode, Lindy and Meagan share BBW updates you won’t wanna miss (peep our links below). Listen, we wish we had all the land, energy, and fertilizer in the world to start a commune in the woods with many many donkeys! We wish we could find an abandoned boxcar and ride the rails into the sunset forever and ever! But realistically, the resistance looks more like stayin...
Nov 21, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep 33•Transcript available on Metacast Who’s ready to laugh? 🫠 Last week a Bad Thing happened. But never fear! This week of healing started off strong with Lindy and Meagan heading to Portland for another sensational live show at the Patricia Reser Center for the Arts ! And you simply cannot pull off a live comedy show without visiting the Pacific Northwest’s own Red Robin! YUM! Where are our Bonsai Burger heads at? And it just keeps getting better! Lindy and Meagan are joined onstage by Emmy-award winning comedian and w...
Nov 14, 2024•2 hr 39 min•Ep 32•Transcript available on Metacast Oh how sweet and innocent we were when we recorded this ep one whole week before Election Day! Oh to be doubled up on Zoloft on this day! When we recorded this episode, we envisioned a world where it might be possible to ever feel comfortable and cozy again. That’s why we brought you our annual Cozy Recs, complete with eggnog (or milk-based alternatives), oversized hoodies, and the famous cozy game you know and love: SMDDRFFAD! Does that help?? Is coziness possible? In any event, we hope you enj...
Nov 07, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Ep 31•Transcript available on Metacast Happy Halloween! This week, Lindy and Meagan accidentally pull off a spook-filled episode. An eerie hamlet full of demigods! Warty pumpkins! Creepy crusties and the horrors and potions of age! Keanu Reeves-vampire-time-traveler-boyfriend! Oh, I dunno and THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION?? 😱 What could be scarier? Coming off the breathtaking success of our live show at the Seattle Py00blic Library, we’re back with tidings, P.U.B.E.S., and MAGA numerology (PLEASE hug your teenage sons!!). And we r...
Oct 31, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep 30•Transcript available on Metacast This week, we’re LIVE from the Seattle Public Library! We have THREE special guests who we put to the test with a series of silly little games as well as high stakes political questions. But first, tidings! And headlining this round of tidings is sharing the winner of our tattoo contest!!! Special shoutout to those of you who submitted this winning idea -- there were five of you! -- we’ll reach out soon to make sure you get your prize. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @textmebackpod to check ou...
Oct 24, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep 29•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Lindy and Meagan come bearing two important pieces of news. First up, is a long-awaited update on Kevin’s nads. And equally important to report: Lindy and Meagan make an iron-clad commitment. A promise to NOT laugh at the biffs, blunders, and incomprehensible nonsense spewing from Donald Trump. We’re calling it the No-Giggle Pledge, and the terms include donating to the Harris-Walz campaign each time they fail to hold to this democracy-enforcing covenant. Kamala, get prepared to add s...
Oct 17, 2024•1 hr 14 min•Ep 28•Transcript available on Metacast This week Lindy and Meagan are 42% less rude than last week! We decompress after last week’s call outs and the Titan Submersible implosion recap (where the mean % points really racked up) and get back to our earnest, nerdy roots. Lindy spends American dollars on a personalized Hydro Flask. Kevin graduates from puppy school, so naturally we assign Breakfast Club archetypes to the rest of the pupporinos (Kevin is either the Janitor or Judd Nelson, who could really say). But the crowning jewe...
Oct 10, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep 27•Transcript available on Metacast If Lindy and Meagan had a podcast back in June 2023, this episode would have been soooo timely. But they didn’t. So they’re covering the most important story of that year here and now and that is…the implosion of the Titan submersible. BUT BEFORE WE DIVE INTO THAT, we’re back on our endless, increasingly appalling, and all-encompassing RFK, Jr. beat, which brings us swiftly to Segment P.U.B.E.S. Somehow, this RFK, Jr. has led us on a collision course with a cohort of assholes who bullied L...
Oct 03, 2024•1 hr 20 min•Ep 26•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Meagan returns from her near-death appendix betrayal! And she comes bearing many a tale from those hallowed hospital wings. Tales of: a murderous vestigial organ on the loose, sexy doctors cutting free what no longer serves, a spooky Jack Nicholson moment, and (dot dot dot) a murder mystery??? And while Lindy awaits to hear the fate of an extremely ill Meagan, she sustains an injury from playing a video game too hard. If you’ve played Cult of the Lamb, you can probably relate. S...
Sep 26, 2024•1 hr 13 min•Ep 25•Transcript available on Metacast In this week’s episode, Meagan’s appendix decides to take this “I Can Fix Her” segment to a whole new level and makes an unexpected break for it. And as a result, 50% of our hosts are in the hospital and our episode is a little shorter than usual! When the appendix decides to say *bye girl 💅* we have to respect it, but luckily we had a pre-recorded segment brought to you by Magic Mind, an elixir that helps make brain from brainestrone. We also talk about a couple other products on our radar and...
Sep 19, 2024•30 min•Ep 24•Transcript available on Metacast This just in: Lindy and Meagan are normal people bringing you the normalest news! They are wearing their normal uniforms (a bra), bringing you the normalest ideas (putting Trump into an ethical Magneto-style plexiglass prison-box), and sharing normal news (moon updates, booger reporting, and Hvaldimir the beluga spy whale). The AP has the Best Friend Party Line on their speed dial and you can too! Drop us a voicemail or text us at (703) 829-0003. If you are a beluga spy whale, we want to h...
Sep 12, 2024•40 min•Ep 23•Transcript available on Metacast Sound the alarms, notify the press, we’re in our CHOCOLATE MILK ERA. Think chocolate milk couldn’t possibly fill 20+ minutes of an episode? THINK AGAIN, BROTHER. We have thoughts to share, we have a problematic google brewing (so sorry), we have service journalism to share, and most importantly, we have an attempt to draw a throughline between orange beef and chocolate milk (you simply must tell us if you can co-sign this comparison). But that’s not all--it’s a week of Whatcha Watchin’, current ...
Sep 05, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep 22•Transcript available on Metacast Hello, my babies, hello my darlins! This episode has UPDATES. This episode has IMPROV (husbands edition). This episode has mention of POLITICAL ACTIVISM IMBUED WITH HOPE?? In our first segment, we share an epic cover letter from a listener who might just be the ultimate D&D companion, even if the gang hasn’t quite figured out how or when they’ll play. Thank you for your endless support as we become DMs, which we assume means Dirty Mamas ;) but in the meantime we want you all to join ou...
Aug 29, 2024•58 min•Ep 21•Transcript available on Metacast Listen, we know you’ve been mulling over if you should invest in these two Better Business Women (BBWs) by supporting our Patreon. You are a savvy investor. You want to know where your dollars are going. Well, Sharks, we hear you, and that’s why this week we’re giving you a little sneak peek at Lindy and Meagan’s Patreon exclusive series 2 Shrill 2 Furious: Portland Drift! Lindy and Meagan dive deep into the chaotic, hilarious, and often absurd process of turning Lindy’s book, Shrill, into a hit...
Aug 22, 2024•49 min•Ep 20•Transcript available on Metacast This week is a grab bag special, which is a euphemism for “we forgot to plan anything for this episode,” and our hands are pulling out a special little treat from the archives. That’s right, it’s a stumble down memory lane where Lindy and Meagan talk about one of their early jobs working at Paul Allen’s musical history storage facility, Seattle’s Experience Music Project (now MoPOP). From the multi-sensory (🥴) Funk Blast ride to the soul-crushing reality of handing out malfunctioning MEGs...
Aug 15, 2024•53 min•Ep 19•Transcript available on Metacast This week Lindy kicks us off with an unforgettable Dave Matthews tribute, but don’t let that stop you from staying tuned, it doesn’t last that long! We have SO many segments today (3). First, we kick off with segment P.U.B.E.S, which is quickly becoming dedicated to our own biffs, blunders, and bad ethics, and this week we actually do include a hit of that sweet sweet Socrates music after Alli PERSONALLY raked the internet to find what she hopes is a worthy nostalgic little riff (so...
Aug 08, 2024•59 min•Ep 18•Transcript available on Metacast You know them from being blacklisted from the Bulgarian podcast charts. You know them from leading the boards in Estonia. And third most likely, you know them from their podcast Too Beautiful to Live! This week Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays sit down with Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh for round two of their crossover series, and Lindy did NOT have to frantically Google their names and bios during the recording this time. Our tidings are full of bad pans and youth-infested homes. Lindy’s deep...
Aug 02, 2024•1 hr 24 min•Ep 17•Transcript available on Metacast It’s official, these two BBWs are breaking news left and right. Lindy and Meagan predict a Kamala presidential campaign (2024), break bad news about Harambe (2016), and give you the scoop about a hot new TV show called Freaks and Geeks (1999). Plus, this week we asked YOU if you agreed with the inspiration for our hyped up Larry Flynt bit and the results are in! Tune in to hear the conclusive but certainly not final chapter of this saga. We think you’re going to Ohh-Vehr-døZzz. But Lindy and Mea...
Jul 25, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep 16•Transcript available on Metacast This episode has everything: curdled milk, tiny hats, the Tour de France, Big Gretch. And that’s all before the break! In our SECOND segment, we explore our favorite topic of the week: ads. Move over Don Draper, because these two BBWs are coming through to serve up some of the best commercial moments you’ve ever heard. NOTHING helps ease the discomfort of humanity’s agonizing downward spiral like a catchy little jingle! We learn about Lindy’s legacy status in the advertising world and share some...
Jul 18, 2024•1 hr 8 min•Ep 15•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Lindy and Meagan kick things off with a bang as they officially claim the title of BBWs (Better Business Women)! They’ve been eating nothing but thick cheesy soups like Forbes or something recommended and they’re ready to share their big juicy half-researched headlines as they hustle their way to the tippy top of the podcasting world. Forbes: 50 BBWs Under 50 here we come! But first! It’s time for Segment P.U.B.E.S., aka corrections, updates, and apologies. Lindy fesses up to some maj...
Jul 11, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep 14•Transcript available on Metacast It’s a week of chaotic tidings for Lindy and Meagan that includes a befuddled Barry, rogue Cochin chickens, and snakes galore. Lindy’s spontaneous road trip has an unexpected ending, Meagan has an unhinged encounter with a live rooster on the streets of DC, and our beloved segment SNAKE OF THE WEEK is back. Move over Freekaconda and Titanoboa, new large snakey queen just dropped. Also, because dinosaurs are snakes if you think about it, Meagan shares a dinosaur finding for her snake of the...
Jul 04, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep 13•Transcript available on Metacast This week we are proud to report that we have a husband listener! Welcome, buddy! And what a time to be a new listener and/or a husband, because in this episode Lindy and Meagan are doing the Lord’s work: ranking dragons. We’re talking about Smaug. We’re talking about Puff. We’re talking about…the other ones. BUT THEN, as if that wasn’t enough, Lindy and Meagan bravely breach a topic few have dedicated so much air time to. It’s a little something with a big story to tell, it’s the must-have acce...
Jun 27, 2024•50 min•Ep 12•Transcript available on Metacast This week's episode is hot hot hot—literally and figuratively. We’ve got a special guest! Our personal hero Lizz Winstead, who's been making waves in comedy and politics for decades. And Lindy does NOT make it weird. One dragon question per guest IS normal. Lizz Winstead is the co-creator and former head writer of The Daily Show, co-founder of Air America Radio, and current powerhouse behind Abortion Access Front. Lizz dishes on her storied career, shares tales from the front lines of abortion a...
Jun 13, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep 11•Transcript available on Metacast This week, Lindy and Meagan both realize that they've been having thoughts about dogs, which we're sharing in a new segment called DOG THOUGHTS. What if dogs could sweat? And what, exactly, is the nature of a dog's business? Then, we have a story from the Best Friend Party Phone about a piece of fan mail gone horribly wrong--a seemingly innocent letter traumatized a room full of fourth graders, teaching them the hard way that the Killer is real and he lurks everywhere. Even in your homework assi...
Jun 06, 2024•1 hr•Ep 10•Transcript available on Metacast 
