Moynihan calls in from GOP Ground Zero in Milwaukee. Kmele threatens to dish about Silicon Valley support for Donald Trump. Welch only slurs as much as Reince Preibus. Topics include J.D. Vance’s political philosophy, Joe Biden’s deteriorating public appearances, and—as ever—Kmele’s mangled naughty bits. Who the hell knows when the Adderall shortage will kick in, but we’re squeezing the last drops out of Moynihan’s productivity before the vape-seizures finally do him in. Let’s gooooo!!!! This is...
Jul 17, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com A rebroadcast of our increasingly popular Second Sunday edition, during which you, the listener, get to interact with the Fifth, berate them, flatter them, hit on them, and endlessly praise their wisdom and prescience. And thanks to all of you who showed up this week…so many, in fact, that we were forced to pay Zoom to increase the number of attendees. …...
Jul 16, 2024•22 min•Transcript available on Metacast The lads make it through Biden’s presser, watch a bit of state television after, listen to the Mike Tyson’s Punch Out soundtrack, and limbo below the lowest bar in the history of low bars. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe
Jul 12, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Wizards of Transnistria * Checking the box * A festival of freedom? * More old stuff * France and the media * Brain dead v. Hitler * It didn’t end in 2008, but it proved a lot * What a dictator is… and isn’t * An accent free pass * The best video ever: Fuck you bloody...
Jul 10, 2024•19 min•Transcript available on Metacast It’s an Independence Day Miracle (if a few days delinquent). As another US Supreme Court term draws to a close, we tap in with our favorite SCOTUS obsessive, Damon Root (currently Freethink / Big Think , previous Reason , and author of books you really should buy ). We discuss Presidential absolute immunity, Chevron deference, the pitiful state of SCOTUS journalism, and the obviously-super-serious effort in the US Congress to impeach/pack/scorn the highest court in the land on account of its * v...
Jul 08, 2024•59 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Miracles of indigenous science * Why is Matt talking about Kevin Costner so much? * Aaron Sorkin solves January 6th * Norm on Bob Uecker * Matt revisits his…bad night * The Biden sitch * James Carville on masculinity and “communities of color” * How do you guys manage to watch this crap? * QAnon all the time * Sam and Diane, but not funny * The block of humans called voters * “Total…...
Jul 02, 2024•20 min•Transcript available on Metacast Oh dear. Yeah, that debate. Obviously. One would have to be a very successful, very delusional Substacker to think otherwise . But the night was about to get much, much worse. Moynihan, Welch, and Friend of the Fifth (former Rep.) Peter Meijer decided to record a quick reaction pod at 1am, after a collective 542 drinks. That… didn’t work . And that’s not what you are about to hear, although some devious editor appears to have dropped random clips of one particular Fifth host (Matt) into this epi...
Jun 28, 2024•43 min•Transcript available on Metacast So our podcasting platform just launched an AI feature that scans your recording and automatically generates “show notes.” We gave it it try. These are the results, with a few important corrections. “The conversation begins with some light banter and discussion about rap music. [Human ed note: This was before we started, so it isn’t included in the episode, but it did feature Kmele speculating about John Lennon shooting Bob Dylan] . They then transition to talking about the upcoming presidential...
Jun 27, 2024•1 hr 19 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Every second Sunday of the month, the lads fire up Zoom and do a (mostly) Q&A show for subscribers only. It’s very fun, often a bit messy and chaotic, and full of listeners expressing love, disbelief, dismay, and often delivering Strom Thurmond- like filibusters. So for you subscribers who couldn’t make it on June 9, we revive the Zoom recording just to…...
Jun 26, 2024•24 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Imagine if Bill Cosby was an Islamophobic dog * Cringefest in the Bronx * Jamal and AOC * Sleeve rolled up, stool in hand, unemployment on the horizon * AIPAC is everywhere! * Violent psycho extremists for peace * The war won’t end until Jake Tapper’s kids are properly harassed * Shift back to the center, Dems * Laying hands on homeless people * Homeopathy is fake, btw * Geniuses …...
Jun 24, 2024•20 min•Transcript available on Metacast After a very brief hiatus—apologies, but all is explained in the first five minutes of this episode—the lads are back. And there will be a flood of new content in the coming days, to make up for our testicular tardiness (also explained in the first five minutes of this episode). Also note: this episode was plagued by technical difficulties, but we hope, through the magic of editing, that you won’t notice. * The procedure * The politicization of late night continues apace * This is our territory ...
Jun 21, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Transcript available on Metacast * Getting Drudged * Getting the spray * This new color isn’t working * Olivia amongst the Hamasniks in Union Square * Tearing up notebooks, airhorns in the ear…stuck in the middle of a protest * Hey hey ho ho shitty chants have got to go * Did any journalists reach out? * What if this was a Trump rally? * Legally blonde * You’ll be in a Trump camp * “Racial conspiracy theories” * I mean, you gotta understand where they’re coming from… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with ...
Jun 14, 2024•1 hr 29 min•Transcript available on Metacast * Some unpopular opinions * Raise your hand if you’ve ever lied to the government * Fetterman and Real Time * Are you *addicted* to Marijuana??? * Who are the victims here? * Excessive sentencing is bad, even for bad people * Victims: Alex Jones? Hunter Biden? DJT??? * Biden is totally fine and thinking otherwise is the end of democracy * Joe Scarborough is the worst * Let’s all pretend that everything is normal, ok? * Scarborough casually defames two journalists * Washington Post loses a trilli...
Jun 06, 2024•2 hr 3 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * No matter what it is or who commenced it … * MAGA Hawaii * Inflatable gallows * The eye of the horrible Stormy * It’s a bird! It’s a Qassam! No…it’s the Blonde Zionist! * Dronez: The Hunt for El Chigon * Listener email: Working class kid makes good. Will his kids go soft? * Your kids want to be rich * Back in my day….. * Bad IRA comparisons from supposedly smart people * Jerry Sein…...
Jun 03, 2024•17 min•Transcript available on Metacast A double-album worth of great content this week. Start off with Moynihan talking to Matt and Kmele about his Free Press piece charting the collapse of Vice and him forthcoming piece charting the collapse of the Black Panther Party. Then the lads chat about the weirdness of the New York Trump trial, Israel in Rafah, and lots more. And stick around for Kmele’s conversation with the Lennon-McCartney, the Lieber and Stoller of podcasts, Matt Boll and Andy Mills, the duo who brought you The Witch Tri...
May 30, 2024•2 hr 29 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The LP snoozer * Remembering that lady who said that gross thing about kids * You will never play in the NBA, baby * Zone of Interest redux, briefly * The Ann Landers portion begins * Should I stop being an academic and become a cop who lurks on dating apps? * The anti-Semitic date * I can’t be brave and call bullshit. So what do I do? * Well, it all depends * How to talk about…...
May 28, 2024•20 min•Transcript available on Metacast * The most serious race controversy of 2024: that lady basketball player * “I mean, I've been a huge fan of Blackpink for years and I've never heard a single one of their songs.: * Snek and the Supreme Court * Everyone's wife is Ginny Thoma * The defense rests * Local news and crappy journalists * In defense of…Marilyn Mosby? * Israel and the ICC * Enter Sibarium: the UCLA Medical School controversy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to b...
May 24, 2024•2 hr 48 min•Transcript available on Metacast * At a party * At Fenway * Losers (which is apparently already a show) * Jake, Dana, Donald, and Joe * Cui bono? * How Joe wins * How Donald wins * The NY trial continues… * Mitt Romney would pardon DT * “Attacked our legal system” * The new Noem * Post-Donald, where does the party go? * How goes it in Ukraine? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...
May 18, 2024•2 hr 52 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Italian bootlegs * Warm Fanta * Drinking on your European vacation * The Comfort of Strangers * Pre-internet travel * Jake Siegel: a moderate dissent…and Fifth reaction * Probability and the feminist bank teller * What happens when people call you bad names in public * 9 times out of 10, they were rapping * Awful media critics * What would CH do? * Steve Albini * “And the songs that…...
May 14, 2024•20 min•Transcript available on Metacast So many of you have written us demanding the return of Jacob Siegel that when word got to us that he was back in New York, we hunted him down and demanded that he submit to a *third* appearance on The Fifth . We discovered that Comrade Siegel, a gravelly voiced veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq and senior writer at Tablet, is hard at work on a book, an expansion of his already expansive essay “A Guide to Understanding the Hoax of the Century.” So we sat back in our chairs, asked a few questions, a...
May 09, 2024•2 hr 34 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Shogun erasure * Revolutionary accents * A debate on Israel and a subsequent anti-Moynihan calumny * Alas, anti-Semitism is common in certain parts of the world * Pointing this out seems pretty obvious * The WAV file * My melanated baby * Teaching kids versus raising kids * Indoctrinating someone else’s kids into your way of thinking is some serious cult shit * Torturing …...
May 06, 2024•22 min•Transcript available on Metacast * Children of the revolution * No journalists allowed! * The Italian Gadsden flag * Oh no, Matt Welch…no, no, no * In defense of …Al Sharpton? * Dead soul singers * The great Baby Huey * Forgiving student debt is insane * College is dumb but it makes economic sense…for now * The New York Times and NPR * Jihad rehab * Twitter welcomes another sexless fascist This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/sub...
May 03, 2024•1 hr 19 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * The Banana genocide * Professor, professor…let’s stick to the facts * A conspiracy documentary full of cranks and losers * 60 journalism professors find a story they cannot countenance * Listeners on ADHD and Adderall * RFK in CA * Nodding along with Lemon * How to talk to an Auschwitz survivor * The trickiness of memory * Two sets of rules * Peaceful protesters get a call fr…...
Apr 30, 2024•18 min•Transcript available on Metacast A two-for-one offering from The Fifth: first, the lads discuss the ongoing student stupidities, free speech and protest, Kmele at TED, and how your views are probably pretty normal (ed. note: considering the full-court coverage of the Columbia intifada, it’s sort of surprising that no one is referencing this terrible 1970 film , written by Ad-Roc’s dad). And then, some bonus content with Reason’s C.J. Ciaramella, who joins to discuss the government war on Adderall, his own ADHD diagnosis, and wh...
Apr 25, 2024•2 hr 39 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Swedish breakdown * Columbia breakdown * The continued rise of American extremism * The politics of “genocide” * The politics of propaganda * Chicago expectations * A newborn in the Fifdom * Our Batya episode * Trusting anti-trust? * The NPR excel spreadsheet * Books on McCarthy * Three best presidents? * The Watergate conspiracy is at least fun to believe...
Apr 22, 2024•20 min•Transcript available on Metacast You asked, we delivered. Our pal Batya Ungar-Sargon enters the octagon to (politely!) fight the Globalist Fifth on trade, Trump, robots, unions, automation, and a bunch of other stuff. But we also agree on lots of other things! Hear Batya talk about her wild Israel debate on Zerohedge, how her last book foresaw the NPR madness, and why perverse incentives have created a boring media echo chamber. Thanks for listening! Love, Oskar and Raoul This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this ...
Apr 19, 2024•2 hr 34 min•Transcript available on Metacast * Ozempic Joe * The Juice has expired * Revisiting the “Trial of the Century” * The double murderer who “abandoned his race” * In defense of Marcia Clark * Dementia dads * Matt Lauer emerges * Nutty MTG, drunky Boebert * Arizona abortions * Operation Bubble Wrap * Poor guy in a ski mask shoots at cops * Group condemnations and the “IDW” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...
Apr 13, 2024•2 hr 54 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kid rapping * Saturday Night Fever is dark, dark movie * Girl dadding * Anti-communist manifestos * On Andrew and Israel * Big bombs in Iraq: not so fast, Andrew! * The normalization of extremism * Don’t be Paul Robeson * What it means to be “anti-war’ * Dehamasification * A bachelor party in NY * And much more!...
Apr 08, 2024•25 min•Transcript available on Metacast Third time’s even more charming! Andrew “Cheech” Sullivan is back, puffing away and ruminating on Israel, Iraq, conservatives, the trans movement, loud music from bluetooth speakers, the awfulness of Trump (who won’t be a dictator, btw), the resilience of American democracy, the resounding victories of the gay rights movement, and the general boringness of identity. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefift...
Apr 04, 2024•2 hr 45 min•Transcript available on Metacast This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Last month’s “Second Sunday” broadcast was fun, boozy, and…almost lost. We won’t point any fingers—though they might be jabbed in the direction of a certain someone during the recording —but through a Peter Jackson-like audio excavation, it was saved. Was that a good thing? Errr…who knows. And so, with a few nips and tucks, here she is! And we’ll be back…...
Apr 02, 2024•24 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
