We're very pleased to speak with Ruby Bouie Johnson, sex therapist and founder of PolyDallas Millennium, an annual symposium of presentations and workshops on polyamory with a focus on centering people of color, queer, and gender fluid voices. Ruby shares with us her thoughts on the need for an intersectional focus in poly communities, handling tokenism, and the value that a polyamory- and kink-friendly therapist can bring to a client who may be monogamous or vanilla. Join our amazing community ...
Sep 19, 2017•41 min•Ep 137•Transcript available on Metacast If you find your partner holding the past against you, feeling hurt and upset even after you've apologized for something in the past, or if you find yourself resenting your partner in the present for old hurts in the past, then there may be some unhealed wounds in your relationship. In this episode, we cover strategies for both partners to support each other in a journey of healing and acceptance in order to release and heal old wounds. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.super...
Sep 12, 2017•44 min•Ep 136•Transcript available on Metacast Our favorite God-doctor Gary Chapman, creator of the 5 Love Languages, has come up with another useful tool for communication: the 5 Apology Languages. Have you ever apologized to your partner for a mistake in the past, only to find that your partner brings it up again a week later, expressing frustration that you never really said you were sorry? What the hell? Was your partner not listening? Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptio...
Sep 05, 2017•36 min•Ep 135•Transcript available on Metacast The Multiamory crew is thrilled to speak with lawyer Diana Adams, who runs a law firm based in New York and Frankfurt that primarily provides family law and mediation services to the LGBTQ community, polyamorous families, same-sex couples, platonic co-parents, and non-nuclear families. In this episode, we learned actionable steps poly families and parents can take right now to start protecting themselves, and her predictions for how poly marriage rights may changing. Join our amazing community o...
Aug 29, 2017•45 min•Ep 134•Transcript available on Metacast A long list of "glass ceiling questions" has been floating around the polyamorous internet lately. These are questions that are essential to ask a new partner in order to get down to brass tacks on what kind of agreements or rules they have in their other relationships, what they are expecting for their relationship with you, and other nuts-and-bolts questions. In the spirit of efficiency, Multiamory has condensed these questions down to 6 topics to ask about when starting a new relationship. Ev...
Aug 22, 2017•40 min•Ep 133•Transcript available on Metacast The Ethical Slut, long considered to be the "Bible" of polyamory and alternative relationships, is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a new, updated edition! The book had an incredible impact on each of our lives, and we are so excited to be speaking to co-author and educator Janet Hardy. Janet shares with us what's new in the updated edition, what she sees for the future of non-monogamous relationships, and her one piece of advice for anyone considering polyamory. Join our amazing community ...
Aug 15, 2017•44 min•Ep 132•Transcript available on Metacast The dumpster fire relationship: you know it when you see it. Constant fights, endless drama, and an umatched level of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we'll discuss signs that your relationship might be a total dumpster fire, how to evaluate whether or not it's time to leave, plus practical advice on escaping a draining relationship with minimal collateral damage. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions...
Aug 08, 2017•41 min•Ep 131•Transcript available on Metacast This week we're digging in to emotional labor -- the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it's not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video ...
Aug 02, 2017•53 min•Ep 130•Transcript available on Metacast This week we are talking about...you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. Covered in this episode: -- My girlfriend doesn't want me to fall in love with anyone. How do I casually date without leading people on? -- How do I handle my jealousy of my partner's past relationship with his ex-wife? -- How do I protect my sexual health without imposing strict and burdensome rules on my partner? Join our amazing comm...
Jul 25, 2017•1 hr 1 min•Ep 129•Transcript available on Metacast Break ups suck. They suck a little less if you're not the one going through it, but if it's your partner who's just been dumped, then you may find yourself shouldering the burden of some of their suck as well. In this episode we talk about the ways to care for your partner, your self, and your relationship when your partner is going through a break-up or other turbulent period of life. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so ev...
Jul 18, 2017•41 min•Ep 128•Transcript available on Metacast This week we're discussing agreement pitfalls -- common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and your partner conduct relationships in the exact same way? Is it ethical to ask a partner to check in with you before they get sexual on a date with someone else? Tune in...
Jul 11, 2017•40 min•Ep 127•Transcript available on Metacast We are exploring this popular article about questions that will make you fall in love (or build intimacy with someone) by asking each other some of the questions!Get to know your hosts a little more intimately! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Ma...
Jul 04, 2017•45 min•Ep 126•Transcript available on Metacast This week the Multiamory crew gets to pick the brain of researcher, educator, and Ph.D candidate Ryan Witherpsoon. Ryan has specialized in studying consensual non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM, as well as spearheading several research studies on non-traditional relationships. In this episode, we cover the current state of non-monogamy research, particular challenges that arise when studying polyamorous relationships, and the findings of his most recent study on stigma toward consensual non-monogamy. ...
Jun 27, 2017•37 min•Ep 125•Transcript available on Metacast This week we are welcoming special guest Erin Tillman, a.k.a. The Dating Advice Girl. Erin has coached many singles through the process of creating a dating profile and going on dates without getting burnt out in the process. Even better, Erin is tuned in to the polyamorous and queer communities. She shares with us her pro tips on messaging, first dates, and how much to disclose in your dating profile when you're seeking a non-traditional match (or two). Join our amazing community of listeners a...
Jun 20, 2017•48 min•Ep 124•Transcript available on Metacast Love and science finally hook up. The results? Sexy. This week we're covering all the things that will make your relationships better, backed by scientific studies. We cover communication, fighting, sex, in-jokes, and more! You can follow along with us here: https://my.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/ Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video dis...
Jun 13, 2017•45 min•Ep 123•Transcript available on Metacast This week we are talking about...you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05. Covered in this episode:-- How can a straight, cisgender man ask for cuddles or affectionate touch without it being interpreted as a come-on?-- How can I let go of the need to make sure my husband only ever tries new experiences for...
Jun 06, 2017•46 min•Ep 122•Transcript available on Metacast This week, we're talking about the effects of social media on your relationships, and some of the unique challenges presented to non-monogamous relationships. Whether you're creeping on your metamours, or finding yourself nervous about posting openly about your multiple partners, we're here to help you navigate the tricky etiquette and foibles of social media. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access...
May 30, 2017•41 min•Ep 121•Transcript available on Metacast 2/3rds of the Multiamory crew is once again heading off for global adventures, which means it's time to talk about long-distance relationships. In this episode, we highlight seven specific strategies that will help your geographically-challenged relationship to flourish and thrive, including tactics for fostering intimacy, communication, and handling the unique challenges presented to multi-partner relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer slidi...
May 23, 2017•39 min•Ep 120•Transcript available on Metacast This week the Multiamory crew is happy to talk with The One True Will, former facilitator of the Gracefully Poly Facebook group. Will has identified as both asexual and polyamorous for a number of years, and on this episode he answers all of our n00b questions about the asexuality spectrum, demisexuality, gender dynamics, and...dragons?!? Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, ...
May 16, 2017•43 min•Ep 119•Transcript available on Metacast Whether you're opening up an existing relationship or beginning a relationship with someone who is new to polyamory, it can be challenging to know the best way to encourage them to feel safe venturing into the world of non-monogamy. In this episode we explore different challenges and discuss what we've found to be the most effective strategies and tools for making that experience a positive one. This has been a commonly requested topic and we're excited to finally have a resource for people in t...
May 09, 2017•51 min•Ep 118•Transcript available on Metacast This week we are tackling the complicated task of deconstructing desire. In life, we often set our sights on accomplishing a particular goal or attaining a particular obejct or status, and the same is true with relationships and sex. In this episode, we dig into the reasons why we want the things that we want, often through socialization, comparisons to other people, and our perceptions of what will make us happy. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer slid...
May 02, 2017•43 min•Ep 117•Transcript available on Metacast In this very special live show, the Multiamory crew digs into the day-to-day foibles of having non-normative relationships in a hetero-mono-normative world. We discuss the uncomfortable consequences of having few outlets and even fewer role models, needing to stay in the closet in order to protect your job or family, and the endless assumptions and misconceptions. But not to fear -- we also cover strategies to help you cope and thrive in a world that may just not understand your weird love life....
Apr 25, 2017•1 hr 22 min•Ep 116•Transcript available on Metacast Multiamory is happy to have author, podcast host, and pegging enthusiast Cooper S. Beckett back on the show! Cooper came on our show way back in the early days to discuss his memoir, My Life on the Swingset, and this week we are discussing his brand new novel, Approaching the Swingularity. Join us for a discussion on sexy, swinging vacations, the intersection of swingers and polyamorists, and the delights of pegging. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer s...
Apr 18, 2017•41 min•Ep 115•Transcript available on Metacast This week, we are discussing privilege and polyamory -- the different advantages and disadvantages that we often forget about when approaching non-traditional relationships. This is a hot-button topic that often sparks emotions and defensiveness, but we wanted to open up the conversation, daunting as it is. In this episode, we discuss many different factors that affect privilege -- race, class, skin color, gender identity, disability, just to name a few in a very long list. Join our amazing comm...
Apr 11, 2017•51 min•Ep 114•Transcript available on Metacast Multiamory is very excited to sit down with philosopher Carrie Jenkins, author of the newly released book What Love Is and What It Could Be. Carrie has been polyamorous for a number of years, and after having her relationships accused of not embodying "real love," she was inspired to get to the bottom of the age old question: what is love? In this episode, we deconstruct our preconceived ideas of love and commitment, and also why it is important for people in non-monogamous relationships to exam...
Apr 04, 2017•1 hr 3 min•Ep 113•Transcript available on Metacast This week, the Multiamory crew tackles a divisive and controversial subject: the Red Pill movement. The Red Pill movement, in our estimation, is equal parts men's rights and pick-up artistry, sprinkled with a dose of good old-fashioned misogyny. But a growing number of men are finding community, understanding, and confidence in the Red Pill's tenets. Is there anything good that could possibly come from this movement? Or is it really the sexist cesspool it seems to be on the surface? Join our ama...
Mar 28, 2017•42 min•Ep 112•Transcript available on Metacast If you've hit a particularly sticky bump in your relationship, or if you're interested in doing some preventative maintenance and exploration, it is extremely helpful to seek professional guidance. Speaking with a therapist, counselor, or coach can provide many opportunities to open up and uncover deep-seated habits and patterns, plus really giving yourself and your relationships much-needed clarity. In this episode, we explain the many different varieties of mental health professionals, as well...
Mar 21, 2017•40 min•Ep 111•Transcript available on Metacast We talk a lot about jealousy in the polyamory scene -- how to manage it, how to de-program it, how to communicate with your partners about it. But in this episode, we are going to be deconstructing jealousy -- categorizing specific triggers and their causes. If you have the tools to identify your jealousy triggers, it can open up a lot more happiness and freedom in your relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so eve...
Mar 14, 2017•52 min•Ep 110•Transcript available on Metacast Unicorn hunters (heterosexual couples seeking to add a bisexual woman to their relationship) get a bad rap in the polyamorous community. But is it possible to defy this stereotype and add a third to your relationship in a way that's ethical, kind, and groovy for all parties involved? In this special live show recorded in Los Angeles, the Multiamory crew discusses the ins and outs of making sure that your unicorn is ethically raised and sourced. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamo...
Mar 07, 2017•1 hr 10 min•Ep 109•Transcript available on Metacast Multiamory is in Portland! In this special, live-audience episode, we explore solo polyamory. The solo poly crowd is an often-misunderstood, yet significant portion of the non-monogamous community at large, and this week we uncover the many different ways solo polyamory can be practiced, examine couple privilege, and learn all about amatonormativity. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-fre...
Feb 28, 2017•1 hr 10 min•Ep 108•Transcript available on Metacast