Warning: Do not watch X-Ray. Or whatever - we're not the boss of you. In this week's episode of Pod Sematary, Chris and Kelsey HATE a movie that some people seem to love for some reason: 1980's X-Ray (AKA Hospital Massacre; AKA Ward 13; AKA Be My Valentine... Or Else!). If you are one of those people, first seek professional help, but then write us to let us know WHY. Then it's on to 2001's Valentine with David Boreanaz, a revenge slasher that Kelsey remembers from her middle school days and Chr...
Feb 12, 2018•58 min•Transcript available on Metacast CW: Rape, Miscarriage, Suicide Chris and Kelsey stay all up in that SJW stuff this week, moving on to feminist masterpiece(?) Rosemary's Baby from 1968. But it's a Double Feature week at Pod Sematary, so we're also tackling the existent(?) TV Miniseries from 2014! Does it have any reason at all to exist other than as an excuse for Zoe Saldana and her sisters to take a trip to Paris? Well...
Feb 05, 2018•2 hr 40 min•Transcript available on Metacast We step into the fire this week on Pod Sematary with two movies all about social justice. Kelsey and Chris watch 1989's Society, a body-horror flick all about the rich "sucking off" the poor. Then it's the universally acclaimed Get Out from just last year. It has four Oscar nominations, including 3 for writer/director/producer, Jordan Peele. But is it really that good? (Spoiler: Yes.)
Jan 29, 2018•2 hr 25 min•Transcript available on Metacast Ok, now THIS is our longest episode. We promise to tone it down next time... but these are some seriously amazing films. This time on Pod Sematary, Chris & Kelsey dance to calypso while tackling one of the best comedy horror movies of all time: 1988's Beetlejuice. Then they move on to the eternally-spoiled The Sixth Sense from M. Night McTwistyflick in 1999. Stick it out 'cuz this is good stuff.
Jan 22, 2018•3 hr 49 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's our longest episode yet, and for good reason! This week is a Double Feature of one of our favorites: Stephen King's It! Kelsey and Chris get all nostalgic for the "ironic classic" 1990 television miniseries. Then it's off to the future (past?) for the 2017 cinematic phenomenon! Don't worry - we won't talk about the book (we will).
Jan 16, 2018•2 hr 24 min•Transcript available on Metacast Friends, this episode has the worst movie we've reviewed so far. Frankly, it's incredible just how bad it is. Chris and Kelsey take a trip in the way back machine to review the influential, silent, Swedish classic, 1921's The Phantom Carriage. Then... well, then there's 2009's Life Blood about holy lesbian vampires. Folks, don't bother watching this ahead of time; we'll tell you all you need to know about this festering garbage fire.
Jan 08, 2018•1 hr 28 min•Transcript available on Metacast The Scream Queen, Jamie Lee Curtis, is back in this week's New Year's Rockin' episode of Pod Sematary! For auld lang syne, Chris and Kelsey rewatch one of their favorite New Year's horror films, 1980's Terror Train, and follow it up with the violent and quirky The Signal from 2007. End this awful year right and join us in ringing in 2018 the way it ought to be done: by hitting 2017 over the head repeatedly with a canister of rodent poison!
Jan 01, 2018•2 hr 34 min•Transcript available on Metacast Content Warning: Rape/Incest Our last week of Christmas movies has arrived, and boy is it a doozy! Both 1972's Silent Night, Bloody Night and 2015 indie slasher Dismembering Christmas are absolutely bonkers and we have a lot to say about them. So strap in for what is almost certainly our giggliest episode yet!
Dec 25, 2017•2 hr 33 min•Transcript available on Metacast Christmastime continues in the eleventh episode of Pod Sematary! Chris and Kelsey watch the Made-for-TV Home for the Holidays, where a rich man thinks his wife is poisoning him so he calls for his four daughters, Alex, Freddie, Jo, and Chris... oh, my god, I just realized all of his daughters have boys names! This guy hated that he had daughters! And for our modern movie this week, Better Watch Out takes on toxic masculinity with T-Diamond Stylus!
Dec 18, 2017•1 hr 22 min•Transcript available on Metacast Content Warning: Abortion This is one hell of a week, guys! Kelsey and Chris run into their first week where neither of them had seen the movies at hand ahead of time. First up is the 1945 anthology classic, The Dead of Night, which charmed both of our hosts. Next on the docket is quite the surprise: 2016's Red Christmas, about... well... we'll get to that.
Dec 11, 2017•2 hr 47 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's that time of year again: chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, and just a metric ton of awful things happening to eyeballs. This week's Double Feature has us re-watching one of our all-time seasonal horror favorites and its simply god-awful remake. It's Black Christmas time!
Dec 03, 2017•2 hr 46 min•Transcript available on Metacast Back at the start of the original Dark Cinematic Universe, Universal Pictures released 1941's werewolf classic, The Wolf Man. It's short, a little rough on the social politics, and a well-deserved classic. The remake in today's Double Feature is 2010's The Wolfman, a movie starring Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving, all of whom flounder in the presence of the only good acting on set: Emily Blunt. We've disliked some movies we've seen since we launched the podcast, but this migh...
Nov 27, 2017•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode of Pod Sematary, Chris & Kelsey discuss... ummm... what was it again? Oh, right! 1979's The Brood! (Sorry, we forgot...) For our modern movie, it's contemporary classic Halloween favorite: 2007's Trick 'r Treat!
Nov 20, 2017•1 hr 22 min•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, Chris and Kelsey discuss two "great" films, including Kelsey's potentially unpopular opinion about Dario Argento's first major film, and giallo classic, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970). She makes up for it with the delightfully nostalgic The House of the Devil (2009), written, directed, and edited by Ti West.
Nov 12, 2017•1 hr 17 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's our second Double Feature! This time around, Chris & Kelsey discuss both the 1980 and the 2009 versions of Friday the 13th! Is the original worth seeing today? Is the remakequel any good? How important is nipple placement? Listen to Pod Sematary and find out!
Nov 06, 2017•1 hr 24 min•Transcript available on Metacast Witches are the topic of the day in this episode of Pod Sematary. Chris & Kelsey chat about 1990's The Witches (definitely about witches) and 2013's The Conjuring (ok, it's a stretch). Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and tell EVERYONE about Pod Sematary!
Oct 29, 2017•1 hr 20 min•Transcript available on Metacast The crowning episode of our introductory trilogy is a DOUBLE FEATURE! Chris and Kelsey take a look at one of the godfathers of the slasher sub-genre: 1978's Halloween! Oh, and Rob Zombie's 2007 remake... I guess.
Oct 20, 2017•2 hr 38 min•Transcript available on Metacast In episode two, Chris & Kelsey watch one of our all-time favorite classics: An American Werewolf in London (1981)! Since we're talking about evil monsters that people don't believe exist, the modern movie in this episode is Bug (2006), because Michael Shannon is nuts!
Oct 10, 2017•2 hr 31 min•Transcript available on Metacast In this, the inaugural episode of Pod Sematary, Chris and Kelsey discuss the Stephen King "classic" (and namesake of the entire podcast), Pet Sematary! Since we're on the topic of zombies, our modern selection is the movie that redefined zombies: 28 Days Later!
Sep 30, 2017•2 hr 43 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
