Not sure this will make much sense to anyone who wasn't there. I lived through it (barely) so I haven't even listened to it yet. But in the words of one attendee, it was "epic." We came to a movie theater in "the ELC," (the Cerrito Speakeasy -- thanks guys!), we saw (television shows, public displays of affection, boozing, the tossing of swag, etc.) and we recorded it for posterity. Or something. Here it is. Make of it what you will. Thanks to all who came for the beer and the pizza and the nons...
Sep 28, 2008•51 min•Transcript available on Metacast Ah, it's a little case of "My Ever Changing Moods." Whatever. Hope you liked our PSA that opens this podcast. Here's the pertinent information for this Thursday's fabulous hootenanny -- aka, the late birthday party for The Bastard Machine and The TV Talk Machine Podcast. (And yes, we're going to show some new fall fare and some great stuff from the vault, plus play some music and perform a live podcast -- much less dark and prickly, promise -- with Joe Garofoli and Benny Evangelista). And yes, w...
Sep 23, 2008•47 min•Ep 74•Transcript available on Metacast Well, we take calls. We take e-mails. And we answer them. Period. That's what we do. Give the listeners what they come looking for. Thankfully, most of them come to the TV Talk Machine looking for and expecting nothing. And so we give them lots of that, too. The good news is that Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) atones for his complete and utter lack of worth in the last podcast with a sterling effort here. Well done, QB. Then again, it could be that as many as FOUR Question Girl candidates will show...
Sep 16, 2008•46 min•Transcript available on Metacast In this TV Talk Machine podcast, coming in at a sterling, entertainment packed 36 minutes, we get Manny (Benny Evangelista) back "working the knobs." In many ways, we missed Super Producer Sub Justin Beck. You always love what you can not have. But anyway, let's not defer the major announcement: Our Sept. 25 hootenanny at the Cerrito Speakeasy will not be a benefit (because we couldn't get the technology necessary to draw in celebrity phone-in guests), so we've made the executive decision to mak...
Sep 15, 2008•37 min•Transcript available on Metacast More scintillating TVTM to prick up your ears. Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) says he has a "man crush" on Jon Hamm (aka Don Draper), proving yet again that we are fearless in our sexuality. We also fearlessly have no information. But then we get rolling and boy, is that a good time. We also pimp our next big hootenanny on Sept. 25, where we will be doing this podcast LIVE on stage (pause for tingles) at the Cerrito Speakeasy. Of course, we may have some technical issues -- like no phone line on st...
Sep 10, 2008•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast After weeks and weeks of no TVTM to bore you with, we're back! And rustier than ever! The unprecedented work stoppage was littered with catastrophic failure at every turn -- vacations, actual work, other vacations, holidays, the lack of adequate or available fill-ins, Question Boy (media writer and political reporter Joe Garofoli) doing his other job, laziness -- you name it. Well, let me tell you, we narrowly averted yet another week without pointless rambling when, 41 minutes before Go Time, M...
Sep 08, 2008•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast Vacations (and perhaps some laziness) are taking a toll on the normally unflagging TV Talk Machine podcast production. This just in: Um, I forgot to post Part 2 from last week. (Hey, it was on the site, just not on the blog, and most of you seem to be getting it from iTunes anyway...). This also just in: Manny (Benny Evangelista) is on vacation, so he sent an e-mail virtually demanding that I wait to post the podcast until this week, which might make it seem new. I love his thinking. We've total...
Jul 29, 2008•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast Did a lot of work in Los Angeles, covering the Death March with Cocktails. Didn't do a podcast. Said I was going to do one -- or three -- and didn't. In this podcast, I fess up to that. But it's not really an apology. Who needs one of those? On the plus side, this particular podcast, complete with Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) and Manny (Benny Evangelista), has yet another new theme song, features us calling out of the podcast for the second (and third) time in history and, brace yourelf for this:...
Jul 28, 2008•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Was reminded that we posted this on SFGate.com but not on The Bastard Machine. And yes, I've got more audio stuff but am too lazy to upload most of it and forgetful in other instances and can't be bothered in still more. Oh, and too busy with words to bother with sound. Clearly a TV Talk Machine podcast from here seems very, very unlikely. Anyway, off to the CBS hootenanny.
Jul 11, 2008•5 min•Ep 67•Transcript available on Metacast Spike Lee was here representing his documentary on Kobe Bryant for ESPN. He touched on issues like Obama, the possible enlightenment of power people in Hollywood and the fact that he hasn't been able to make three films on black artists (but they will eventually get done). Here's a snippet.
Jul 11, 2008•4 min•Transcript available on Metacast The kinda-sorta lost episode of TVTM... Yes, it was posted on the front of SFGate.com, but as Benny "Manny" Evangelista pointed it, I never posted it to The Bastard Machine. Just a little housekeeping here and then back to the inanity of this day.
Jul 02, 2008•49 min•Transcript available on Metacast Back from Paris and a little rusty, but how could anyone tell? Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) and Manny (Benny Evangelista) are no longer sitting on their hind parts with nothing to do. It's the TVTM -- the same rambling and pointless lovefest for humanity (and the arts) that it was two weeks ago and several lost e-mails ago. There are two TVTM's this week before I -- your Citizen of the World -- head to Los Angeles (that's still part of civilization, no?) for the Death March with Cocktails. This t...
Jun 30, 2008•47 min•Transcript available on Metacast Brutal. Another example of the dumbassification of America. And then some. But it's not our fault.
Jun 11, 2008•51 min•Transcript available on Metacast Oh, it's a thing of beauty. That's all that need be said.
Jun 09, 2008•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's the Roger Maris version of the TVTM podcasts. People afraid of the sun in Seattle e-mail us. "Bars" revisited (of course). The art of "laying down" a fine podcast. Also, "the promise of an answer." Benny considers getting Mista Evangelista sewn onto the back of his shorty robe. He also has another dream that goes nowhere. A message from College Park, Maryland. The Ol' Collie P. We talk about our Washington monuments. Kittens! Plus: A reader loves "Intervention." He's alone on that. Also: "W...
Jun 03, 2008•33 min•Ep 61•Transcript available on Metacast We take a semi-long-lost letter from Israel, then various e-mails from around the country. We keep it tight and bright (if you've listened before, you know that's not actually true, nor will happen, but I add it here to lure new listeners). Boy, isn't life bountiful?
Jun 02, 2008•33 min•Transcript available on Metacast We at the TVTM podcast -- including me and, yes, our Question Boy Joe Garofoli -- admit that we didn't listen to TVTM 59. Maybe Benny did because he had to really do a LOT of editing on it, but if we assume that Benny was actually paying attention it only makes an ass out of us and Benny. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was at the Chronicle that day and about to be interviewed right next to the Podcave and her bodyguards were looking very suspiciously at our lame podcast and wondering what we ...
May 29, 2008•46 min•Transcript available on Metacast Tight. Bright. Angry. Obsequious. Oh, we've got it all in this podcast. We bring it. Our arsenal (read: something akin to the U.S. military instead of the British football club) is now vast. For example: "Bars." It's now a staple. Almost like Walton. But we bust out a lot of high-quality stuff this time. For example, Question Boy (Chronicle Media writer Joe Garofoli) does Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm going to say it's on par, right at this moment without any fine tuning, with Angry Regis. And boy,...
May 21, 2008•42 min•Transcript available on Metacast The TVTM podcast: Making America great again, one unanswered question at a time. Oh, how we kid. First, this is an International podcast. We don't skew local. We even got a letter from Israel. Of course, Benny found it after the podcast, so that will get read next week. Secondly, we answered lots of questions. Oh yes we did. Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) was even reasonably articulate and focused. We hit the podcave running. We kept the podcast relatively short. Uh, "short."...
May 19, 2008•46 min•Ep 57•Transcript available on Metacast We reach out and touch people in this podcast -- and they like it. Well, OK, we only called out of the podcave to one person, but you never know when your phone will ring! All across the globe, but strangely enough not Central America or China or India (what is wrong with you people -- get on the horn!) we field television questions and, in a dramatic change, actually answer them. Another big-time bloated podcast, but hey, you'll miss us when we go on vacation! Soak up the bloat! Besides, someon...
May 13, 2008•49 min•Transcript available on Metacast After Question Boy, Joe Garofoli, ruined everything last week by spending quality time with his family, we are finally back with a TVTM podcast that more than makes up for what you missed last week -- in length. We tried to improve the quality as well, then got interrupted and went to lunch. That might have messed things up. And it will surely ruin Part 2, coming Thursday, which will also be bloated, rambling, pointless and shameful.
May 12, 2008•51 min•Transcript available on Metacast In this podcast, we make a vow: No more lies! Total transparency! "We don't know what we're doing...It's Benny's fault." We bust open the lie behind this two-part podcast fraud. Which is that we record one super-bloated podcast and then we hack it into bits. And Benny puts it back together, re-animator style. So it's not two. It's one. Filled with lies. And, as you'd expect, lameness. Chronicle media (and political) writer Joe Garofoli continues his butchery of British accents. In fact, the sun ...
Apr 30, 2008•35 min•Ep 54•Transcript available on Metacast Quick out of the gate with few stumbles, a new (okay, partially "borrowed" theme song from a listener), a call for more such creativity (you want to make us a theme song? -- go for it), more Bill Walton (in fact, we break new ground with him), lots of Angry Regis, some talk about sports announcing, swear words and tons and tons of questions answered! No, really. We do. In fact, we are "efficient." There's also some singing. Some hating. Some Canadian stuff. And we answer a few Ask Mick LaSalle q...
Apr 28, 2008•39 min•Ep 53•Transcript available on Metacast Sorrys for all my friends! Sorrys on sale! Sorry for the sorrys. But of course, we'll take it all back later. Sorrys are for sissies!
Apr 22, 2008•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast We are known for being all over the map, and even all over the world, but on this podcast we ponder why we're popular in Britain when they have to pay for the call. We discuss the fact that our 888-prefix hotline actually blocks Canadians from calling. (Maybe they don't want to pay for the call?) Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) wants people in China to break out to freedom and give us a call. I opt for South America, which is apparently ignoring us. In other news, we talk abou...
Apr 21, 2008•37 min•Transcript available on Metacast We take a ton of calls in this, our second of two podcasts this week, including a call from London where a guy named Will tells us, definitively, that our international toll-free number is not, in fact, free. In turn, we offer Will a couple of pints and a ticket to the Giants if he ever comes to visit. On the other hand, paying to call the TVTM hasn't stopped our international domination from growing ever larger (this week: Paris, London, South Korea, Calgary!). In fact, Will even likes our Bill...
Apr 16, 2008•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast We've got a two-part TV Talk Machine podcast this week and I would have had the first part up earlier, but as it turned out the Diamondbacks were in town having a day-game tilt with my beloved G-Men and, well, you can probably guess what happened. We decided to get right into this one (or, "right into this one" in theory, because we're incapable of actually moving forward in a brisk, informative manner) because a listener in France asked us to read his e-mail in the first five minutes and we do ...
Apr 14, 2008•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast Joe Garofoli and I were trying to lock down this TV Talk Machine podcast as quickly as possible so that we could walk down and watch the Giants home opener (we didn't know at the time that the G-Men would get pounded, though we did have our suspicions). Opening Day still means something to us because we're proud American baseball fans. So, doing only one podcast this week, we were anxious to make it quick and informative. We did neither. But hey, we were wearing the Bunting Robes, we took a few ...
Apr 07, 2008•41 min•Ep 48•Transcript available on Metacast A fast-paced, answer-filled TVTM. No two-parter this time. Also: no quality. Well, that's not exactly true. We did good work here. Me, Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) and Benny Evangelista. I mean, not as good as listening to Eddie Izzard. But we answered a lot of mail, and took a lot of calls. There was a theme running through it (anger) and we only swore five or six times and Bill Walton only popped up like eight or nine times. All told -- very reserved, possibly even inform...
Apr 02, 2008•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Eddie Izzard flew into San Francisco last week and came to the Chronicle (and our sad little podcasting "cave") to tout his superb FX series, "The Riches". But as expected, we went on all kinds of tangents. Izzard is brilliant at letting his imagination take flight in often spectacularly funny ways but also in being serious and analytical about any number of topics. Unfortunately, much of the delay in getting this podcast assembled is that we had some massive technical glitches that neither one ...
Mar 31, 2008•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
