Talking points: mindset, psychology Aristotle said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Speaking from my own experience, he’s definitely wasn’t wrong. Here’s what nearly every man on the planet has to battle—and how to reclaim your power. (00:00:00) - Intro and why this is an important topic (00:03:37) - What causes a lack of impulse control? Two massive reasons (00:10:40) - How to actually develop a ...
Oct 24, 2024•16 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture, geopolitics This interview is probably among the most unique I’ve had on the show. I don’t usually cover straight-up politics, but Andrew’s work has fascinated me for a while. And as the world seems to getting more up in arms (literally and figuratively), I find myself wanting to learn more about where all of this started and how we as men can respond. (00:00:00) - Common misconceptions about the CIA (00:11:47) - Why foreign secrets are such a big deal (00:24:51) - Andre...
Oct 21, 2024•1 hr 29 min•Ep 514•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: intimacy, relationships Game changers aren’t usually simple, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. But this is a surprisingly easy, straightforward step that I’ve seen work time and time again. So listen in and let some wonderful things happen. (00:00:00) - Expectationless desire and why it’s important (00:05:37) - What to do, and what it looks like (00:08:36) - Final thoughts *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotag...
Oct 17, 2024•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture, parenting One of the most informative fifty minutes I’ve ever recorded; and now that I’m a father of two, it’s pretty well timed! Grateful for Lisa’s insight, her years of experience, and her great sense of humor. This is the episode to listen to if you (like pretty much every parent) are looking for sound advice that you can act on literally right now. (00:00:00) - Intro, and what are parents being taught that isn’t actually beneficial? (00:06:40) - How do we raise kids...
Oct 14, 2024•51 min•Ep 513•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture, masculinity, social issues Inspired by a recent article in the WSJ. Young men are facing some serious difficulties right now. We need to not just be aware of what’s going on, but follow that up with coherent, intelligent action. I’m not some genius who can declare national-level policy changes, but I KNOW what works on an individual level. If you’re a man who’s struggling in the face of increasing isolation and an uncertain future, here are five things you can work on ri...
Oct 10, 2024•27 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture, masculinity, relationships Warren’s been a consistent and committed voice for men for decades now, an it’s been far too long since we’ve talked, so when I wanted to get some insight on how things have changed—or not—he was the obvious choice! We cover the complexity of what “makes” a man, get into politics, and some solid practical advice for couples. Enjoy and dig in. (00:00:00) - What’s happening to young men in today’s culture (00:09:47) - Warren’s take on why there s...
Oct 07, 2024•59 min•Ep 512•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: porn, addiction, mindset, psychology We all know it’s not easy. We all know it takes time. What you might NOT know is that there’s a simple reframe about quitting things like porn, weed, alcohol, and more that swings the odds in your favor. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:02:58) - A new perspective on some addictions (00:04:27) - The real question to ask (00:07:08) - What to do instead (00:09:27) - If you’re like me, this is gonna take time (00:19:45) - Number five: they create...
Oct 03, 2024•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, tactics, mindset Let’s admit we all want a relationship that’s balanced and has minimal conflict and insecurity. I’ve talked about what anxious and avoidant couples do, but how do securely attached couples navigate? Here are five things to model. (00:00:00) - Intro, and a quick recap on the main attachment styles (00:07:30) - What do securely attached people in relationships do? Number one: healthy conflict and resolution building (00:10:45) - Number two: they operate...
Sep 30, 2024•27 min•Ep 511•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture This one will rattle some people, but it needs saying. Let’s just leave it at that. (00:00:00) - Intro, and why shaming men is a bad approach to better behavior (00:05:27) - The patriarchy virus (00:11:06) - Yes, this has a lot of a complexity, but dehumanizing men who aren’t in power isn’t helping anyone (00:14:19) - The practical consequences and how we need to take a step back *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, ...
Sep 26, 2024•18 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: isolation, culture, relationships, friendship, anger, connection Every now and I then, my team and I like to compile some of the greatest insights from our guests and center them around a theme. This week, we’re going hard on connection. The importance and nuance of it, the consequences of being without it, and the ways connection manifests. These days, connection isn't easy, but it's more important than ever. Listen in some highly distilled wisdom. (00:00:00) - Doug McKinley on ...
Sep 23, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep 510•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: fatherhood, parenting, mindset, culture Taking time off as a man seems perfectly normal—until it’s done for a newborn. While I don’t disagree that a father can (and should) work to provide for his family, I also think that your presence is a deeply important factor in your kid’s development. Here’s my rationale. (00:00:00) - What inspired this episode (00:03:10) - The real reasons I took time off (00:07:56) - How I’ve learned to define success (00:11:52) - I challenge men to thin...
Sep 19, 2024•14 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, testosterone, estrogen, stress I had John on the show years ago, and it seemed like the right time to ask: has anything changed since publishing his seminal book? Turns out the answer is yes—and no. Dig in with us as we cover John’s take on conflict, mindset, confidence, emotions, hormones, and a lot more! (00:00:00) - How have things changed since you wrote your book, and do men and women deal with stress differently? (00:16:40) - John’s take on why testosterone h...
Sep 16, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep 509•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, avoidance, relationships This is thicker one, my friends. I’ve been asked by a lot of you to cover this, and here goes. There’s straightforward tactics in here for both men and women that will help you move more easily into deeper and longer lasting connection. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro, some of the internal beliefs an avoidant woman has learned, and what caused them (00:06:08) - Avoidant women tend to attract savior-oriented men. Here’s why (00:09:26) - What to d...
Sep 12, 2024•29 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: music, artistry, creativity, AI, culture, spirituality, psychedelics Music has been around for thousands and thousands of years. There’s a reason for that: it’s a powerful, synchronizing force between peoples, places hearts, and minds. And when you add psychedelics, well, that’s a recipe for incredible journeys. I’m honored to have had this convo with one of my favorite artists, and we dig into just how important music is not just for enjoyment but as a guide, mentor, and facilit...
Sep 09, 2024•59 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, mindset, victimhood, entitlement This is going to…bother some of you, but it needs to be said. Straight out the gates, this isn’t an every single man or every single woman issue, but these are what’s contributing to the insanity that is modern dating. Hear me out. (00:00:00) - Intro and how this is gonna upset some people (00:02:21) - The man that some women expect to date doesn’t exist, why that’s a thing, (00:07:55) - The idea that what women bring to a relations...
Sep 05, 2024•23 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: parenting, attachment, mindset, psychology, neurology The internet behaved badly in this episode, but Eli is so knowledgeable and thorough I had to put this up! The Attachment Nerd herself brought a TON of info and practical tips for parents this week. Strongly encourage you to listen to this with other parents. I certainly learned a lot. Her new book comes out Sept. 3rd; go pick it up! (00:00:00) - What is reflective functioning, and when does that start developing? (00:06:58) -...
Sep 02, 2024•50 min•Ep 407•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: suicide, culture, masculinity This isn’t an easy episode, but it’s important. If you’re someone who works with men, whatever kind of work that is, please share. (00:00:00) - A part of my story I rarely share (00:04:30) - What I’ve learned (00:07:35) - What’s contributing to this? (00:10:36) - If you’re somehow involved with men, here’s what to do. If you’re in this situation, here’s what I’ll tell you *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End S...
Aug 29, 2024•16 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, avoidance, divorce My anonymous guest this week has been solving the puzzle of his anxious attachment style for a while now. He’s made great progress, but there’s more to be done. On top of this, while it’s impacted all of his romantic relationships with intense conflict, distance, and damage, his wife is an avoidant. It’s a complicated situation, but there IS a way forward. (00:00:00) - What brought our guest in today (00:05:58) - Why my guest is holding onto somethi...
Aug 26, 2024•40 min•Ep 406•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, avoidance, mindset, psychology If you, your partner, or someone you’re friends with has an avoidant attachment style, this one’s specifically for you! These are the steps I took and the ones I recommend to clients who are just starting out and want to get their avoidance under control. They’re simple, but not easy. Listen in. (00:00:00) - The two things changing from avoidant to secure depends on, and why (00:05:58) - Build self-awareness around these two crucial thin...
Aug 22, 2024•18 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: collapse, culture, masculinity, psychology, Jung There are very few people out there I consider genuine, authentic elders. Francis Weller is one of them. With a perfect marriage of gentle compassion and firm sincerity, Francis is the man you want to share a campfire with when times are tough. He lays out what we’re facing collectively from the perspective of someone deeply in tune with the natural world, and how we need to respond. (00:00:00) - Why we’re in “the long dark”, and w...
Aug 19, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep 405•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: aging, mindset, personal growth I bottomed out in my 20s and nearly lost everything. When I finally emerged from the rubble, I had NO idea where to even begin. The following are things I learned the hard way, so if you’re in a similar spot, strongly encourage you to listen in. Here’s how you rebuild. (00:00:00) - Intro and number 1: make competency your aim (00:03:33) - Number 2: get in shape (00:05:24) - Number 3: learn how to save and invest, and get yourself out of debt (00:07...
Aug 15, 2024•13 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, sex, social media, non-monogamy If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I think the current dating scene is, in a word, messy. So I’m grateful to have sat with Todd Baratz on why that’s the case. I love Todd’s practical, honest yet understanding perspective on the issues, because it allows for all the complexity and nuance relationships can bring. To sum it up: communicate, communicate, communicate. (00:00:00) - Todd on why modern relationships seem ...
Aug 12, 2024•51 min•Ep 404•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: accountability, relationships Before anything else, not all women struggle with this. But some who do (and the men who love them) have asked me to speak on this. You’ve probably seen the memes or heard a story or two, but it’s always better to actually do some thinking. Here are my thoughts on why some women admit to struggling with accountability—and how to hold a partner accountable in a healthy way. (00:00:00) - Intro and reason 1: different tools for social status (00:05:41) ...
Aug 08, 2024•16 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: exercise, stress, science, testosterone, mindset I think this episode takes the cake for highest amount of information. Dr. Layne Norton is. on. fire. Seriously, dig into this if you’re looking for what REALLY works (hint: it’s probably not going to be the fun option). We cover everything on managing stress, testosterone, and the right mindset to bring it all home. (00:00:00) - What got Layne started, and how wildly effective exercise can be (00:07:59) - Layne on managing stress ...
Aug 05, 2024•1 hr 22 min•Ep 503•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: grief, fatherhood, anger, masculinity The void left by a father who’s gone can feel impossibly difficult to handle for many men. I’ve had a lot of them in my practice, and the impacts on their life can be pretty severe. If you or someone you know grew up without a father, strongly encourage you to listen to this one. These are the lessons you might have missed. (00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: grieve the absence. (00:05:33) - Understand the true role of a father, and take ...
Aug 01, 2024•17 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, relationships, intimacy You’ve heard about attachment. Maybe you’ve discovered you or your partner (or both!) have a specific kind. Ok, cool. But what do you DO with that info? How do you move forward? That’s exactly what Sarah Baldwin and I sat down to discuss. From the deep origins of our survival strategies, to their impact on intimacy, and how to work WITH it all and get some self-security going. Listen in. (00:00:00) - What is a disconfirming experience? (00:07:5...
Jul 29, 2024•57 min•Ep 502•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: mindset, death, change Alright, you’re past 30. Assuming you’re past the usual advice you get from all the corners of the internet, what’s next? Because all the “you need to make more money, you need to get to the gym, you need to wake up earlier” stuff is fine—don’t get me wrong—but it's also entry-level work. Listen in for the harder stuff. (00:00:00) - Intro and the first thing: regret (00:03:10) - Don’t make your future self suffer because of who you’re being now (00:06:06) -...
Jul 25, 2024•13 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: grief, loss, relationships, masculinity, anger I met David at a psychotherapy symposium a while back, and it wasn’t long before we were sharing some of the things we’ve grieved. He just has that calm yet strong presence. He’s also, of course, an absolute expert therapist. We dig into everything loss in this episode; how the 5 stages actually work, what death does both for and to us, and much, much more. This is absolutely an episode to share with someone you feel could use it. (0...
Jul 22, 2024•59 min•Ep 501•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: self-worth, mindset This is a wildly simple fact, but so easy to miss. Self-esteem is built along the way, not something you find at the end of the work. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro and real reason your self-esteem takes a hit (00:03:14) - The secret hope (00:07:16) - It’s that simple, and that hard *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: Ho...
Jul 18, 2024•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: stuckness, energy, trauma Back in May, this anonymous guest came to me trying to solve what’s blocking him from making important decisions and taking action. We uncovered a traumatic event that started this, but that’s just the start of the process. Here are the next steps in understanding and healing this man’s trauma and helping him move forward. Strongly encourage you to check out part 1 here: https://link.chtbl.com/VaiRj0Oy (00:00:00) - Intro and catchup: the feeling of stuck...
Jul 15, 2024•40 min•Ep 500•Transcript available on Metacast 
