How often do you take what other people say and do personally? How often do you feel like you have to “fix” someone else’s mood? Today I want to talk about emotional responsibility, and how it can lead a stronger sense of self and keep you from getting pulled into other peoples emotional mayhem. Not to display anger or other emotions. To be free of passion and yet full of love. —Marcus Aurelius The other day I was talking with my therapist about how I feel like I’m dealing with conflict a little...
Nov 15, 2022•9 min•Transcript available on Metacast The stoics teach us that we have control over a few things - our thoughts, our choices, and our actions. In short, our will. So is there a way that we can get better with our thinking, and improve our outcomes? Today I want to talk about a model that can help us be more aware of how our thinking impacts us, and with that awareness, improve our lives. You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. —Marcus Aurelius Everything we hear is an opinion, no...
Nov 07, 2022•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast Is it ever okay to hate someone as a stoic? Is there ever a time to have “righteous anger”? Today I want to talk about anger, hate and violence in our ever more divisive world. Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate, and hate leads to violence. This is the equation. — Ibn Rushd Today the world feels like it in chaos. Everything from political violence, war, and ethnic clashes to threats of violence and down right viciousness on social media. Alongside that, the sensationalist news media lea...
Nov 02, 2022•13 min•Transcript available on Metacast An ignorant person is inclined to blame others for his own misfortune. To blame oneself is proof of progress. But the wise man never has to blame another or himself. — Epictetus How you ever thought about how often we have judgments in our language? Are you even aware of how often we communicate our our opinions and feelings about others? What if we could remove judgments from our language? Today I want to talk about ways that we can make our language more clear, and increase our ability to comm...
Oct 24, 2022•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.” —Marcus Aurelius How often have you been offended by someone? Maybe it was something someone said to you? Maybe they made a comment about your clothes or mocked something that you really liked such as your favorite football team or musician. Maybe it’s one of your siblings who always tries to put you down or get under your skin. Maybe someone on the internet posted a mean comment to a picture yo...
Oct 18, 2022•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast Not to assume it’s impossible because you find it hard. But to recognize that if it’s humanly possible, you can do it too. — Marcus Aurelius How often do you find yourself starting something only to notice a few weeks or months later that you let it fall by the wayside? Today I want to talk about why we have trouble keeping commitments to ourselves, and some ideas about how we can get better about keeping those commitments. If you’re like me, you are always interested in improving yourself...
Oct 11, 2022•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. — Marcus Aurelius Today I want to talk about one of the most interesting things about humans, the fact that we cling so dearly to our belief systems in face of contradiction evidence, often to our own detriment. Why do humans resist changing their minds, even in the face of overwhelming evidence? How often have you changed your opinions when presented with new facts? How often have you actually...
Oct 03, 2022•10 min•Ep 226•Transcript available on Metacast How much of our lives do we spend living in way to please other people? How much unhappiness do we feel in our lives because we’re not being ourselves? Today I want to talk about why it can be really hard to live authentically. “And this, too, affords no small occasion for anxieties - if you are bent on assuming a pose and never reveal yourself to anyone frankly, in the fashion of many who live a false life that is all made up for show; for it is torturous to be constantly watching oneself and b...
Sep 26, 2022•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast It does not matter what you bear, but how you bear it. — Seneca Do you think that life just happens to you? That you are simply a pawn in the game of life? Because there are so many things that we don’t have control over in our lives, it can be easy to fall into this kind of mental trap. The problem is that when adopt this kind of thinking, then we have placed an unhelpful filter through which we view everything that happens in our lives. While there is plenty of debate within the st...
Sep 20, 2022•9 min•Transcript available on Metacast Living on this planet with other people can be very challenging at times. If you’re like me, sometimes you have a strong difference of opinion with someone, and you end up in an argument and spend a lot of time and energy trying to change the other persons mind. We see this play out on social media as well where people spend a lot of time and energy trying to debate other people to get them to change. Watching this behavior in myself and others, makes me ask the question: Why do we spend so much...
Sep 12, 2022•8 min•Ep 223•Transcript available on Metacast You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. —Marcus Aurelius Having a clear idea of what we can and can't control is the most fundamental principle of stoicism, and almost every other idea flows from there. This is also one of the easier concepts to understand, but so hard to actually implement. How do you manage to clearly divide what you can and can't control? --- Hello friends! Thank you for listening. Stop by the website at stoic.coffee where...
Sep 06, 2022•9 min•Ep 222•Transcript available on Metacast How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life. — Marcus Aurelius How often do you complain about the hard things in your life? How often do you find yourself disappointed that things don't turn out the way you think they should? Learning to accept what life sends our way is probably one of the most challenging things to do. But to wish for life to be other than it is, is to deny reality and to miss out on learning what life can teach us. --- Hello friends...
Aug 29, 2022•14 min•Ep 221•Transcript available on Metacast Everyone faces up more bravely to a thing for which he has long prepared himself, sufferings, even, being withstood if they have been trained for in advance. Those who are unprepared, on the other hand, are panic-stricken by the most insignificant happenings. —Seneca Stoicism is often seen as a tool to avoid emotions, but is this a good idea? How should stoics handle their emotions? In this episode, I respond to criticism in Psychology today that Stoicism is a fad and that it is a dangerou...
Aug 22, 2022•14 min•Transcript available on Metacast Acceptance of Others When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. — Marcus Aurelius Last week I talked about accepting yourself for exactly who you are, including all the things you like and more importantly the things you don’t like about yourself. This week I want to talk about accepting others for exactly who they are. Amor Fati...
Aug 15, 2022•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast One of the hardest things for us to do, though it is one of the most important things we will ever learn, is to accept ourselves for exactly who we are. But when you decide to take this on and make it a priority, it can be one of the most life changing thing you can do. "It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own." — Marcus Aurelius --- Hello friends! Thank you for listening. If this podcast speaks to you, pleas...
Jul 25, 2022•18 min•Transcript available on Metacast An interview with Donald J. Robertson about his new graphic novel about Marcus Aurelius called Verissimus. We talk about all kinds of stoic history and the politics of his day. --- Hello friends! Thanks for listening. Want to take these principles to the next level? Join the Stoic Coffee House Community ! Stop by the website at stoic.coffee where you can sign up for our newsletter, and buy some great looking shirts and hoodies at the Stoic Coffee Shop . Like the theme song? You can find it...
Jul 11, 2022•2 hr 38 min•Transcript available on Metacast Forget everything else. Keep hold of this alone and remember it: Each of us lives only now, this brief instant. —Marcus Aurelius Don’t let fear, low self-esteem and the negative voices hold you back from your true destiny. —David Goggins One of the hardest things for me, and I’m sure that many of you fall into the same category, is to know what you want and have the courage to go after it. There are plenty of reason why this happens, and for the most part it comes down to fear, and ...
Dec 20, 2021•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast "When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self-control, and do not remain out of tune longer than you can help. Habitual recurrence to the harmony will increase your mastery of it.” ― Marcus Aurelius Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about equanimity and how it may be the most important idea that the stoics came up with. And the more I look into it, the more I see that this is the one of the most important principles, and a foundation for...
Dec 13, 2021•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it. — Epictetus Events in life mean nothing if you do not reflect on them in a deep way, and ideas from books are pointless if they have no application to life as you live it. — Robert Greene The hardest thing about any philosophy is being able to apply what you learn in real life. We can read all the books, watch all the videos, follow all the gurus, but until we actually apply what we've learned, all of that learning is worthless. Develop...
Dec 06, 2021•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast Everyone faces up more bravely to a thing for which he has long prepared himself, sufferings, even, being withstood if they have been trained for in advance. Those who are unprepared, on the other hand, are panic-stricken by the most insignificant happenings. — Seneca When you're in the midst of a challenge it's really hard to think clearly. It's hard sometimes to remember that this moment is just this moment and will not be forever. In this episode, I’m going to talk about how thinking lo...
Nov 22, 2021•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast Anxieties can only come from your internal judgement. — Marcus Aurelius We all have things in our lives that seems to stop us from completing things that we really want to do. Often, these things aren’t even all that big but end up being show stoppers nonetheless. Today I want to talk about why it’s important to pay attention to the things that get in your way, and some possible ways to get around them. The other day I was listening to the Hidden Brain podcast and they were talking about the ide...
Nov 15, 2021•15 min•Transcript available on Metacast “To be always fortunate, and to pass through life with a soul that has never known sorrow, is to be ignorant of one half of nature.” ― Seneca Life is never meant to be kittens and rainbows. A good portion of our life is going to sadness, disappointment, and failure. In this episode, I want to talk about how being too positive can actually be bad for you. Toxic Positivity One of the interesting topics I’ve been hearing about over the past few months is the idea of toxic positivity and inter...
Nov 08, 2021•13 min•Transcript available on Metacast Brief is man’s life and small the nook of the Earth where he lives; brief, too, is the longest posthumous fame, buoyed only by a succession of poor human beings who will very soon die and who know little of themselves, much less of someone who died long ago. —Marcus Aurelius We’re not really here that long, and we don’t really matter that much. Nothing that we do lasts. Eventually, you will fade. Your works will fade. Your children will fade. Your thoughts will fade. These planets will fade. Thi...
Nov 01, 2021•5 min•Transcript available on Metacast What kind of privileges have you had in your life? Do you recognize the advantages that you have enjoyed? In this episode I want to talk about privilege, and how the stoics encourage us to use the privliges we have to improve society. One cannot pursue one’s own highest good without at the same time necessarily promoting the good of others. A life based on narrow self-interest cannot be esteemed by any honorable measurement. Seeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring fo...
Oct 25, 2021•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own. – Marcus Aurelius Are you afraid to tell others what you really think or how you really feel? In this episode I want to talk about the idea of radical candor, and how committing to being honest about what you think and feel is one of the most challenging but rewarding things you can do. Radical Candor Let year I watched the TV series Picard, and one of the more interes...
Oct 18, 2021•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible. — Epictetus What if you stopped resisting what life brought your way? What if you could cheerfully accept everything that came your way? How would that change the way you showed up in the world? This week I want to talk about the importance of dealing with what is, and not what we think it should be. The stoic idea of Amor Fati, to “love your fate”, is oft...
Oct 11, 2021•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. — Epictetus Do you think that life is meant to be comfortable? Do you make choices in your life to take the easy path and avoid discomfort? If so, then you may not be living a life as full as you could. So much of our lives are built around convenience. This extends to so many areas of our lives - the way we eat and shop, the way we find entertainment, even ho...
Oct 04, 2021•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing. — Epictetus One topic that I revisit on the podcast repeatedly is how important it is to control the things that we can’ and let go of the things that we can’t. For me, this is one of the most important lessons we can l...
Sep 27, 2021•11 min•Transcript available on Metacast If change is forced upon you, you must resist the temptation to overreact or feel sorry for yourself. — Robert Greene How often do you feel that life is unfair? That something happened that you think should not have happened to you? Maybe someone hurt you and you want them to fix it? Today I want to talk about blame and responsibility. One thing we learn in stoicism is that there are a lot of things outside of our control. In fact, most things are outside of our control, and we have a toug...
Sep 20, 2021•9 min•Ep 204•Transcript available on Metacast It is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon insufficient evidence. — William K. Clifford, Ethics of Belief We all like to think that we are wise, that our opinions are well thought out, and that we’re smart enough to spot when we have inconsistent beliefs. Today I want to talk about why believing something without sufficient evidence is wrong, and that idea that how we come to a belief or a conclusion is more important than whether the belief or conclusion is correct...
Sep 13, 2021•15 min•Ep 203•Transcript available on Metacast 
