In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Andre-Lee Wills talk about their experiences with heterophobia. They share what it was like growing up gay in a heteronormative world and how this created fear and anger towards heterosexual people. They also unpack the relationship between internalized homophobia and heterophobia and how taking responsibility for ourselves in new ways can help us overcome these fears. The questions we explored in this episode are: What was life like for you as a young gay bo...
May 25, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Ep 136•Transcript available on Metacast Shame is that terrible feeling that arises when you get the sense that something is fundamentally wrong about you. It is often accompanied by inadequacy and self-doubt. Shame convinces you that you are not enough. Like it or not, shame plays a key role in the gay man’s life. Born into a straight world, we must contend with the fact that we are different. While we all have a unique way of dealing with shame, healing it is necessary if we want to develop an authentic sense of self and truly...
May 18, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep 135•Transcript available on Metacast Having a healthy sense of self-worth means balancing both external and internal validation. In part 2 of the two-part series, we are focusing on internal validation, the skill of fuelling your self-worth from within you, rather than seeking it through external sources. Developing your sense of worthiness from within you is fundamental to living authentically as you become less attached to the opinions of others, and more focused on living in integrity with your personal core values. ...
May 11, 2023•1 hr•Ep 134•Transcript available on Metacast Having a healthy sense of self-worth means balancing both external and internal validation. External validation is when you derive your self-worth from sources outside of yourself while Internal validation is when your self-worth comes from within. Unfortunately, many people rely on the external at the expense of the internal, thereby creating a situation where you are hustling to prove yourself to others and are over-sensitive to their criticism. In this special two-part series, we...
May 04, 2023•59 min•Ep 133•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Travis Holp talk about imposter syndrome and how they have navigated periods in their lives when they felt like imposters. They also unpack the concepts of self-doubt, inadequacy, perfectionism, and fear of failure, which often underlie imposter syndrome. The questions we explored in this episode are: Can you share a time when you experienced imposter syndrome? In what ways do you experience self doubt? How do you deal with feelings of inadequacy? What have y...
Apr 27, 2023•1 hr 28 min•Ep 132•Transcript available on Metacast Whether you are aware of it or not, Purity Culture has influenced social norms around sex and relationships for centuries by attempting to repress sexual expression and label it as 'sinful.' Even though society has evolved, so too as Purity Culture. It continues to have a harmful impact on the queer community by influencing policy and feeding into stigmatizing attitudes. In this episode, Michael DiIorio invites Jon Carl Lewis of Sex and the Queer Christian to have a discussion about Purity...
Apr 20, 2023•54 min•Ep 131•Transcript available on Metacast Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness. In part 2 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into the topic of intimacy by talking about... How to develop more intimate connections Why gay men avoid intimacy How to overcome the fear of intimacy If you want to increase your capacity for greater intimacy in you...
Apr 13, 2023•45 min•Ep 130•Transcript available on Metacast Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness. In part 1 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into sex, intimacy, and sexual intimacy including… How are sex and intimacy different? Different ways to practice intimacy What is (and isn't) sex positivity? Join us for this informative episode full of helpful...
Apr 06, 2023•55 min•Ep 129•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, Matt Landsiedel interviews Ed Cohen about the science of healing. Ed shares a holistic perspective on healing and how we can begin to reclaim our authority over our health from systems that can easily fail us if we become too passive. We explore how the mind and body are intrinsically connected when it comes to health and healing, and that it is important to search for deeper meaning when our body is expressing illness in any form. If you are someone who suffers from chronic ill...
Mar 30, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep 128•Transcript available on Metacast On today's extra-special episode, we're saying goodbye (for now) to our incredible friend and co-creator, Calan Breckon . This marks his last episode as a co-host of the podcast and he is sharing the reasons behind his decision while we reflect on the first 127 episodes of the podcast. Join us for this sentimental episode where we mark the end of one chapter of the Gay Men Going Deeper podcast, and the beginning of the next... Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect wi...
Mar 23, 2023•53 min•Ep 127•Transcript available on Metacast How would you describe your relationship with your body? Are you BFFs or are you more like frenemies? We each have a unique relationship with our bodies which directly influences how we treat it. In this episode, we’re going deeper into that relationship by answering questions such as: How would you describe your relationship with your body? How has that relationship changed over the years? How can you improve your relationship to body? Join us for this episode if you want to feel be...
Mar 16, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep 126•Transcript available on Metacast Mainstream and social media influence the norms of what is an attractive or acceptable body within our community. Buying into this narrow definition is easy, but it can be detrimental to your self-image and self-esteem. Body representation is the practice of celebrating a diverse range of body types and unlearning the conditioning that only some bodies are worth showing. In this juicy episode, we’re answering questions such as: What has been your experience around body representatio...
Mar 09, 2023•1 hr 23 min•Ep 125•Transcript available on Metacast There’s no doubt that Grindr has cemented itself as part of the gay culture. For an entire generation, an app has shaped what it means to be gay - for better or worse. In this episode, Michael invites special guest, Pepper , to make a case for engaging on Grindr with more respect, kindness, and humanity. They are talking candidly about such things as: What to write in your bio Kinder communication Ghosting Respectful rejection Setting expectations Hook ups Dealing with unsolici...
Mar 02, 2023•56 min•Ep 124•Transcript available on Metacast There are countless ways to give and receive love. We each have unique preferences can change over time. Our "love languages" are influenced by factors such as our upbringing, attachment traumas, and relationship history. In this episode, we're going deeper into the Love Languages, specifically answering questions such as: ❤️ What are your love languages? ❤️ What makes you feel loved? What influenced this? ❤️ How do you like to give love? What influenced this? ❤️ What would be your 6th lov...
Feb 23, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep 123•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Dr. Michael R. Smith talk about empathy and what it’s like being an empath and sensitive gay man in a world that isn’t designed for us. We share our own personal experiences being empathic/intuitive and how this can be beneficial but also challenging. We also discuss how relationships and sex can be different for empaths and how we have learned to best navigate this dynamic terrain. The concepts we explored in this episode are: What is empathy? W...
Feb 16, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Ep 122•Transcript available on Metacast Unconditional love sounds romantic, but is it realistic or even healthy? There are a lot of factors at play when we talk about this type of love, and it’s not as simple as it sounds. In this episode, we're diving deeper into unconditional love asking some important questions such as: ❤️ What does unconditional love mean? ❤️ What gets in the way of unconditional love? ❤️ How do you move towards loving someone unconditionally? Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Conne...
Feb 09, 2023•51 min•Ep 121•Transcript available on Metacast Dating is still one of the greatest mysteries in the world some might say. And with over 1,500 dating apps out there it’s only getting more confusing on how to “figure it out” and find someone who is compatible. In today’s episode, host Calan Breckon unpacks some of the mysteries around dating intentionally with guest Michael Kaye . Michael is the Head of Global Communications at OkCupid, one of the world's largest dating apps, where he leads public relations programming, influencer marketing, a...
Feb 02, 2023•47 min•Ep 120•Transcript available on Metacast What is holding you back from doing everything you want to do and being whoever you want to be? For a lot of people, worrying about what others will say or how they’ll be perceived gets in the way of living a truly authentic life. In this episode, we’re looking at what it means to give zero f**ks. We’ll be answering questions such as… If you gave zero fucks and could do anything, what would it be and why? What’s the fear holding you back from doing it now? Where’s the line between b...
Jan 26, 2023•43 min•Ep 119•Transcript available on Metacast In a youth-obsessed culture, it’s easy to overlook the benefits of aging and the wisdom that only comes with lived experience. Including people of different generations in your social circle helps enrich our community and improves quality of life for everyone involved. Yet there are many stigmas attached to intergenerational (or “age-gap”) relationships, especially the romantic variety. In this episode, Michael invites psychiatrist Dr. Hector Rodriguez to talk about platonic and romantic interge...
Jan 19, 2023•58 min•Ep 118•Transcript available on Metacast One of the most exciting things about life is being able to transform your identity whenever you want. For most people, transformation happens naturally and gradually over time. But sometimes you can purposefully and intentionally undergo a process of personal reinvention to become a new version of yourself. In this episode, we’re talking about Reinventing Yourself and answering questions such as… What has contributed to defining your self-image? How have you let go of old versions ...
Jan 12, 2023•2 hr 31 min•Ep 117•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Tirrell Cherry talk intimately about healing sexual trauma. They share their own personal experiences with sexual abuse and how they have moved through their own trauma healing journeys. If you have experienced sexual trauma, you are not alone. This episode was created with the intention to normalize having these difficult conversations that can lead to deep connection, authenticity and healing. Connect with Tirrell: Website link: https://tirrellcherry.life I...
Jan 05, 2023•2 hr 30 min•Ep 116•Transcript available on Metacast Research has shown that quality friendships are fundamental to the mental and emotional well-being of 2SLGBTQ+ individuals. A close-knit circle of friends can help us feel less alone, affirm our identity, and alleviate the stressors that come with being part of a stigmatized minority group. But making friends can be challenging for many reasons. In this episode, we're exploring the topic of making friends, and answering these questions: What is the hardest part about making new friendships and h...
Dec 29, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Ep 115•Transcript available on Metacast The holiday season can be a triggering one for a lot of people, especially those of us from the LGBTQ+ community. In today's episode, host Calan Breckon speaks with guest Jeremy Long about how we can navigate conflict during this holiday season. Together they share their personal tips and tricks for those difficult interactions in hopes that it can make your holiday season a little more jolly. Jeremy Long is the founder of the Conscious Queer Community where he leads Queer Men's groups. He’s als...
Dec 22, 2022•42 min•Ep 114•Transcript available on Metacast Being alone does not necessarily mean that you’re feeling lonely. Some people quite enjoy the experience of solitude and prefer it over being in large groups. But over time, does that disconnection lead to chronic loneliness? In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between being alone and the feeling of loneliness. We’ll cover topics such as: What’s the difference between loneliness and being alone? What roles does introversion or extroversion play in feeling lonely? How do you know when...
Dec 15, 2022•49 min•Ep 113•Transcript available on Metacast Long before the days of Grindr and the internet, the gay scene was largely underground. Gay and bi men had to find creative ways to connect in discreet, yet relatively safe spaces. For many, the locals baths - or bathhouses- were a sanctuary where you could be yourself and meet other guys who were interested in both sexual and friendly connection. Meanwhile, cruising spots were known public spaces where men met for casual encounters. Yet for decades, the baths were routinely raided ...
Dec 08, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep 112•Transcript available on Metacast Loneliness is extremely common among gay men of all ages and backgrounds. In fact, some mental health professionals refer to loneliness as an epidemic for our times. In this episode, we are sharing our own struggles with loneliness and how we have dealt with it. The questions we’re answering today are: How has loneliness impacted your life? What relational fears do you have when it comes to connection? How do you deal with these fears? What have you done to deal with loneliness in your life? By ...
Dec 01, 2022•1 hr 17 min•Ep 111•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, Matt Landsiedel interviews Peter DeWitt from Gaywellness.com and they explore the topic of leadership in the gay community. Both Matt and Peter have been in leadership positions within the gay community over the last several years and they wanted to share what their experience has been like and how we can all be a leader in our own right. Come join us to learn what makes a great leader and how you can step into your power through leadership. These are the questions that we...
Nov 24, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep 110•Transcript available on Metacast A difficult conversation is often the one thing standing in the way between you and greater connection. Many of us have a hard time with these conversations because we don't have the tools to navigate all of the emotions that arise when we feel vulnerable. In this episode, we're discussing how to have these prickly conversations Join us as we discuss how to navigate a conversation when you need to talk about topics charged with negative emotions. Today's episode is sponsored by The Silva ...
Nov 17, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Ep 109•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, host Calan Breckon unpacks some of the questions around intersectionality with guest Owin Pierson and the work he does as a mental health and Asian American Pacific Islander advocate. Intersectionality is the acknowledgement that everyone has their own unique experiences of discrimination and oppression and we must consider everything and anything that can marginalise people ranging from gender, race, class, sexual orientation, physical ability, etc. Today's episode is sponsored...
Nov 10, 2022•55 min•Ep 108•Transcript available on Metacast Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain. There are 3 different types of tears that we cry: Basal : The tear ducts constantly secrete basal tears, which are a protein-rich antibacterial liquid that help to keep the eyes moist every time a person blinks. Reflex : These are tears triggered by irritants such as wind, smoke, or onions. They are released t...
Nov 03, 2022•55 min•Ep 107•Transcript available on Metacast 
