Your Stupid Minds brings you a chilling tale of things to come (or are) with 1996's Barb Wire . See if any of this sounds familiar to you. It's during the second civil war. Martial Law. Congressional Directorate. Old democracy overthrown. Sounds familiar. What year does this take place? 2017??? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! Barb Wire pinpointed where we were going with shocking accuracy. In any case, it's a sexy comic book adaptation with Pamela Anderson (Barb Wire). Udo Kier is also there. It's a shod...
Feb 08, 2017•1 hr 11 min
Your Stupid Minds finishes out the Neil Breen oeuvre with 2015/2016’s Pass Thru , brought to you by a purchased $30 standard def DVD from the Breenster himself! Falling into Breen’s “foreign being committing mass murder for the sake of humanity” genre, Pass Thru is about a time-traveling alien named “Tghil” (named after a yogurt container) who embodies the corporeal form of a heroin-addicted loser to bring benevolent genocide to the world. He befriends a multicultural aunt/niece combo to take on...
Jan 16, 2017•1 hr 20 min
Merry Christmas from Your Stupid Minds! We celebrate the holiday with a middling shelved Hungarian/UK adaptation of Tchaikovsky’s classic, with 2010’s The Nutcracker in 3D ! Starring a young Elle Fanning as Mary, John Turturro as The Rat King, and Nathan Lane as Uncle Albert Einstein (yes this actually happened in the movie). When Uncle Albert brings over a Nutcracker and dollhouse for his niece Mary and hellish toy-destroying Nephew Max (Aaron Michael Drozin), the Nutcracker comes to life, alon...
Dec 25, 2016•1 hr 4 min
Your Stupid Minds takes a detour off the well-traveled roads of bad movies to seek out William McGaha, a writer, director, producer, and star of three very cheap films in the 1960s and 70s. Fresh off Nudie-Cutie Bad Girls for the Boys and Stock-car racing+gangsters project The Speed Lovers , McGaha's third and final passion project is J.C. , a 1972 biker movie about a religious fanatic and Jesus-allegory biker who basically just mooches off everyone. After construction worker J.C. and his cohort...
Dec 14, 2016•57 min
Your Stupid Minds goes back to its roots (once again) with the first foray into Hollywood(ish) by former football washout Brian “The Boz” Bosworth: 1991’s Stone Cold ! The Boz plays undercover cop Joe Huff (under the alter ego John Stone) to infiltrate a murderous, terroristic biker group led by Chains Cooper (Lance Henriksen). After some mild blackmail from the FBI, Huff/Stone goes undercover to bring a violent Mississippi biker gang down. After feeding his pet lizard (maybe a Komodo Dragon?), ...
Nov 17, 2016•1 hr 17 min
Your Stupid Minds returns to its Episode One roots and tricks you once again into think we’ve reviewed a Marvel movie that hasn’t come out yet. But alas, this isn’t the Benestrange Cumberdoc version you’re thinking, but rather a 1978 made for TV movie extended pilot made for CBS (and was never picked up). The Nameless One, a demon puppet from the nether region, commands his subject Morgan LeFay (played by Arrested Development ’s Jessica Walter) to kill the wizard Lindmer (John Mills) and/or his ...
Nov 02, 2016•1 hr
Your Stupid Minds delves into October with what you might expect: a 1980s horror sequel! Tom Skerritt ( Picket Fences ), Nancy Allen ( RoboCop ), Heather O’Rourke ( Poltergeist ), and Lara Flynn Boyle ( Twin Peaks ) star in this far-beyond-its-prime sequel, Poltergeist III ! Carol Anne (O’Rourke) from the previous Poltergeist movies now lives with her aunt (Allen) and step-uncle (Skerritt) in a high-rise building in Chicago. She attends a school for weirdoes because of her previous ghost experie...
Oct 20, 2016•1 hr 3 min
Your Stupid Minds returns to two of its most favorite loves: buff dudes and Golan-Globus films. It’s 1983’s Hercules starring The Incredible Hulk ’s Lou Ferrigno! Director Luigi Cozzi (hiding his intense Italianness behind the pseudonym Lewis Coates) brings Hercules to the big screen for the 80th and definitely not last time. When the gods are hanging out on the moon and incredibly bored, Zeus (Claudio Cassinelli) decides to give a random baby super buff powers. Hera (Rossana Podestà) takes exce...
Oct 06, 2016•57 min
YSM returns to the erotic thriller genre with the 2015 classic The Boy Next Door ! Claire Peterson (Jennifer Lopez, in her third appearance on the podcast), is a pathetic high school classics teacher with a broken garage door and a cheating ex-husband when a buff-armed 28-year-old "boy" Noah (Ryan Guzman, apparently playing a 19-year-old) moves in next door. The two bond over their mutual love of the Iliad and he fixes both her car and garage door. They then engage in a night of "passion" after ...
Sep 20, 2016•1 hr 24 min
Your Stupid Minds goes back to basics with your standard sci-fi sexy police robot thriller. It’s 1994’s T-Force starring Jack Scalia, Erin Gray, and Vernon Wells. This is brought to you partially by Cinema Terriblé , Austin Texas’s premier bad movie meet up. T-Force was part of a recent double feature at the monthly get together and was a smash hit. T-Force, a team of autonomous robots called “Cybernauts,” is brought in to break up a Die Hard style hostage situation. The team is made up of leade...
Sep 05, 2016•1 hr 1 min
It’s a special guest episode of Your Stupid Minds featuring Kaitlyn “Nick’s Sister” Nobel, a devoted fan of the podcast and resident Toyota Previa expert. Kaitlyn’s pick this time around is for a 1996 movie starring Tom Arnold, David Paymer, and Rhea Perlman: Carpool ! Out a few years after Tom Arnold’s massive alimony payout from Rosanne, as well as his modicum of success in True Lies , Arnold decided to squander his career by starring in a bunch of crappy movies. Daniel Miller (Paymer) has a b...
Aug 20, 2016•1 hr 25 min
This is it, the big finale of our "great directors making horrible films" summer concludes with Walter Hill (credited as Thomas Lee)'s Supernova ! Nick Vanzant (James Spader) is a newcomer to the crew of the Nightingale 229, a medical ship populated by actors on their way to television superstardom (in a decade). Nick and Dr. Evers (Angela Bassett) hate each other but then love each other, but a rescue mission turns into a total rip-off of It! the Terror From Beyond Space, when they save Troy, t...
Aug 02, 2016•1 hr 6 min
Your Stupid Minds continues its "great directors making terrible films" series with Richard Donner and Richard Pryor's unfortunate The Toy ! Down on his luck Jack Brown (Pryor) is a reporter who can't get hired by the one newspaper in town because it's owned by a racist multi-millionaire (Jackie Gleason). After getting fired by Gleason after attempting to work as a "cleaning lady," Pryor does a physical comedy routine while listening to headphones, only to be inadvertently "purchased" by Eric "M...
Jul 16, 2016•1 hr 7 min
Continuing our loose theme of Not-So-Good Movies by Great Directors, we have 1981’s sequel to the Roger Corman classic Piranha . It’s Piranha Part Two: The Spawning ! Or Piranha II: The Spawning . Or The Spawning . Or Piranha 2 . Or Piranha II: Flying Killers . “Directed” by James Cameron! In actuality, Cameron was brought in as a patsy and quickly fired so writer and producer Ovidio G. Assonitis could finish the project himself. Anne Kimbrough (Tricia O’Neil) is a scuba instructor and marine bi...
Jul 03, 2016•58 min
You demanded it and we delivered! Actually, no one requested this movie, and we may catch some flak for reviewing it. Francis Ford Coppola slums it in the cash grab maudlin 90s with 1996’s Jack ! Robin Williams (also slumming it) plays Jack, a ten year old boy with a fictional medical condition that causes him to age at four times the normal rate. This gives Williams ample opportunity to utilize his deadpan imitation of a five year old boy. But just in case you thought this movie was funny, it f...
Jun 17, 2016•1 hr 18 min
Your Stupid Minds finally covers one of the A-listers in the schlock movie pantheon: Andy Sidaris’s Hard Ticket to Hawaii . Sidaris was a sports director who decided to jump over to 1980s sexploitation flicks. With muse and former Playmate of the Month Dona Speir, he went on a quest to create the most bonkers action films of the decade. Donna (Spier) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) are buxom drug agents who stumble on an RC helicopter-based diamond smuggling drug ring. They elicit the help of boy...
May 31, 2016•1 hr 2 min
It's Your Stupid Minds' Bonus 100th Episode Clip Spectacular! Featuring some of our (and your) favorite moments from the last 100 episodes. Don't expect a breakdown of each clip because we don't want to right now! We hope you enjoy this compilation of what we think our our best bits, skits, discussions, and songs from the last four years. See you at again after episode 200!
May 16, 2016•51 min
Your Stupid Minds celebrates its 100th episode by filling out Neil Breen’s current oeuvre. Before the imminent wide release of his most recent film Pass Thru (which we wanted to watch but is not reasonably available in the state of Texas), we reviewed Neil’s first feature film, 2005’s Double Down ! Neil Breen is war hero and elite hacker terrorist inventor Aaron Brand (who will forever be referred to as Neil Breen). Breen is a mercenary working for American and foreign government agents on count...
May 01, 2016•1 hr 16 min
Fans of truly execrable cinema are in for a treat as we review 1984's Bolero . Can the film that gave MGM an excuse to end its shameful partnership with the Cannon Group/Golan-Globus be that bad? What if I told you it also won the Razzie award for Worst Picture, Worst Actress (beating out Faye Dunaway in Supergirl !), Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst New Star? For once, everything you've heard turns out to be true! This film is indefensibly, inexplicably bad!
Apr 18, 2016•48 min
Joan Severance lays out some vigilante justice in the Roger Corman produced comic book inspired Showtime original movie Black Scorpion ! The movie also resulted in a sequel and Sci-Fi Channel original series. Darcy Walker (Severance) is a girl raised by her murderous cop father Lt. Stan Walker (Rick Rossovich) with a scorpion infatuation. Stan stops methed out maniac at a hospital by gunning him down with a doctor between him and is kicked off the force. Darcy enters the force decades later and ...
Apr 03, 2016•1 hr 12 min
Note: This episode is a rebroadcast from April 3, 2014 to gear up for our 100th episode spectacular. Your Stupid Minds celebrates its FIFTIETH episode. In keeping with our status as a cutting edge resource for all things camp, cult, genre, b, and otherwise considered bad movies, we went on a special podcast field trip to the Alamo Drafthouse for a special midnight screening of the newest entry into the bad movie canon: Fateful Findings ! Las Vegas filmmaker Neil Breen brings us his supernatural ...
Mar 19, 2016•55 min
Your Stupid Minds finally makes its Hammer podcast debut with a film that strays a bit from the usual Hammer formula. We don't see a traditional horror monster, and Christopher Lee is cast as the hero. A creepy, occult-obsessed Dracula-looking hero, but a hero nonetheless. When Nicholas, Duc de Richleau, (Lee) and his friend Rex Van Ryn (Leon Greene) visit their friend's son Simon (Patrick Mower, looking a lot like Topher Grace), Nicholas recognizes a five pointed, goat-faced floor installation ...
Mar 07, 2016•1 hr 6 min
Travel with Your Stupid Minds back to the swinging 60s and their idea of a dystopian future in: The 10th Victim ! In the future, war has been eliminated by the creation of a game show/Hunger Games-type scenario. All violent people are recruited into playing "The Great Hunt," a contest where an individual is designated either hunter or victim. If they can successfully kill their opponents ten times, they are rewarded with ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS. After Caroline (Ursula Andress) erotically defeats h...
Feb 21, 2016•54 min
Your Stupid Minds returns to its roots with a vigilante revenge movie: 1989's Ghetto Blaster ! But don't be fooled by the title. Yes, it does feature an exploding boombox, but it's also a double entendre about a white guy murdering people of color! Richard Hatch (both Battlestar Galactica s) stars as Travis, a good honest dude just like you and me who returns to the neighborhood where he grew up to discover it's overrun by gang activity! The Hammers have taken over, and use their power to murder...
Feb 09, 2016•1 hr 14 min
Despite our protestations in the last episode, Your Stupid Minds has, by somewhat coincidence, decided to make January a Worst of 2015 theme. We review our second Fantastic Four movie with one that for some reason was actually released, 2015’s Fantastic Four . Featuring a hip new cast of Oscar nominees and hopefuls, gritty teal and orange cinematography, and a rushed, nonsense final product with 30 minutes cut, the 2015 version manages to be the worst of the bunch. Plot synopsis: See the 1994 an...
Jan 23, 2016•1 hr 6 min
As part of Your Stupid Minds’ Worst of 2015 week, we have a single episode highlighting an appropriately forgotten lemon of the previous year. To call Accidental Love a 2015 film, however, is somewhat unfitting. Originally titled Nailed and helmed by prestige Oscar bait director David O. Russell, this film went through production hell following the recent 2008 financial crisis. Filming proceeded from 2008 to 2010 with numerous stoppages (some say up to fourteen) due to lack of payment. Russell e...
Jan 10, 2016•1 hr 5 min
Your Stupid Minds reviews another Christmas classic with Terry “Hollywood Hulk ‘The Hulkster’ Hogan” Bollea (a.k.a. Hulk Hogan) in Santa with Muscles ! Hogan takes a break between exhibition bouts in Japan to film this family classic about a large man using physical violence to bond with orphans. Blake (Hogan), during one of his regular paintballing jaunts with his personal staff, gets mistaken for a terrorist by the local sheriff (Clint Howard) and disguises himself as Santa Claus in a nearby s...
Dec 22, 2015•1 hr 12 min
Christmas season in high gear, and that means we'll be looking at less-than-stellar Holiday movies in the month of December. Our first foray into the genre is Ron Howard's brazen cash grab live action remake of the Dr. Seuss classic with How the Grinch Stole Christmas (a.k.a. Grinch 2000 ). Jim Carrey cranks it up to 11 with his manic interpretation of the Grinch that is 60% Richard Nixon, 3% Jerry Lewis, and 37% Other Parts. Howard and company pad out the 64 page illustrated source material (wi...
Dec 06, 2015•1 hr 3 min
Your Stupid Minds transitions from Halloween season into Renaissance Festival season with the 90s low-budget medieval fantasy movie Prince Valiant ! Based on the boring, overwritten comic strip from the Sunday newspaper’s back page that your grandparents never read, this film adaptation eschews the sweeping ongoing medieval tale and instead opts for a trim 90 minute action movie with swords instead of firearms. Lowly squire Valiant (Stephen Moyer) steps in at the joust for his knight after an un...
Nov 16, 2015•1 hr 6 min
A scary monster movie is in order on Halloween for this episode of Your Stupid Minds. Recommended by friend and listener of the podcast Brendan McNamara (who also guest hosts on this episode), it’s It! The Terror from Beyond Space . This 1958 space horror flick bears a striking resemblance to Ridley Scott’s Alien , and some comparison to Scott’s most recent film The Martian (in that it involves Mars and that’s about it). When Col. Edward Carruthers (Marshall Thompson) is the sole survivor of his...
Oct 31, 2015•1 hr
