If you’re scared of making a decision about leaving your marriage, ending your affair, or dealing with any circumstances related to your infidelity because you’re afraid it will all end horribly, this episode is for you. People often get hung up in comparing the stability and comfort of their long-term relationship versus the excitement and passion of their affair, but have you considered that you could have all of it with just one person? Tune in this week to discover how to start thinking more...
Jan 12, 2023•28 min
Whether you’re worried about your children, your friends, or your extended family giving you a hard time about your relationship that started as an infidelity situation, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is explaining why you get to choose how to approach any situation where someone important to you is being a jerk, and what you need to consider when making a decision about how you want to present your new relationship to the people who might be upset with you. Get full show notes and mo...
Jan 05, 2023•30 min
Discover how to allow yourself to want things, and that it’s safe to allow yourself to enjoy what you want. Even if you and your affair partner are both married with children and you’re worried about the consequences if you’re honest about your desires, Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to open yourself up to the possibility that any situation you’re in could be as good as you can stand it. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/121...
Dec 29, 2022•38 min
If there is something in your life that you want to address, like an infidelity situation, worry is usually the first thing that comes to mind. Infidelity situations can feel confusing and overwhelming for so many different reasons, and it’s so easy to get lost in your unhelpful patterns of thinking. Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing how you can deal with your brain’s tendency to worry and really start managing your worries in a much more helpful way. Get full show notes a...
Dec 22, 2022•29 min
If you’re concerned about how you might explain how your affair relationship began, tune in this week to discover why, even though there will be people in your life who demand answers, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why judgment from others is an inevitability, but why you always have the opportunity to accept the humanness of your actions, and decide how you actually want to move forward. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com...
Dec 15, 2022•25 min
Tune in this week to discover why the honesty and intensity of a breakup often reignites a sense of intimacy that seemed otherwise lost. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing how to recognize whether you’ve been thrown off by the intimacy of your breakup, whether you’ve actually reconnected and want to stay together, and what you need to consider to consciously decide how you want to move forward. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/118...
Dec 08, 2022•23 min
Jealousy occurs within the context of any relationship. However, when you’re shifting from an affair into a non-affair relationship, it’s a particularly common issue. In this episode, you’ll learn the thoughts that lead people to believe their partner definitely will cheat on them, and why you get to choose how you approach the idea of your partner cheating, whether you want to accept it and enjoy the relationship anyway, or choose something else. Get full show notes and more information here: h...
Dec 01, 2022•35 min
Tune in this week as Dr. Marie Murphy shows you why, while you always get to decide what counts as a good reason to postpone taking any kind of action relating to your infidelity situation, waiting probably isn’t going to make it any easier. You’ll discover how the energy required to delay a decision could be better spent cultivating the willingness to do the hard thing, whether that’s pursuing your affair, coming clean, breaking it off, or any other way of dealing with this uniquely difficult s...
Nov 24, 2022•30 min
Tune in this week to discover what you’re trying to avoid by telling yourself you can’t transition from an affair into a non-affair or “normal” relationship. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing how believing that your relationship simply can’t work is impacting how you’re showing up in that relationship, and how to instead pursue your relationship your way, even if it means uncertainty and vulnerability along the way. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/115...
Nov 17, 2022•40 min
Tune in this week to start questioning the common beliefs about marriage that make so many infidelity situations so much more difficult to deal with. You’ll learn how unexamined beliefs keep you stuck in situations you don’t love, while being conscious of how your thoughts and beliefs influence your behavior will bring you the freedom and power to make the choice you really want to make. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/114...
Nov 10, 2022•31 min
By allowing yourself to want something or someone, contending with the experience of not getting what you want is inevitable. So, how do you deal with the ache of deeply wanting something and not having it yet? And why could this be the key to getting the result you truly want in your infidelity situation? Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/113
Nov 03, 2022•27 min
Tune in this week for a discussion on why being a human feels terrible sometimes. Dr. Marie Murphy is exploring why the traditionally prescribed intolerance of feeling awful isn’t actually helpful, why as a society we’ve never normalized feeling terrible, and how to deal with feeling uncomfortable emotions without making it a problem that needs to be immediately solved. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/112
Oct 27, 2022•33 min
Tune in this week to discover the price of living in convenience over taking uncomfortable action. Even when we know that making the effort to change our behavior would benefit us in the overall scheme of things, Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why so many people would rather take the convenient route, and how to see what you stand to gain by finally dealing with it. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/111
Oct 20, 2022•35 min
Let’s say you’re in a committed relationship and you’ve done something that counts as cheating, and your partner knows about it. There is indeed something you might owe them. However, if you think you need to make your partner feel better, answer their questions, share your thoughts, right your wrongs, agree to protocols to reestablish trust, and suffer like your partner is suffering, what Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing today might surprise you. Get full show notes and more information here: https:...
Oct 13, 2022•28 min
Tune in this week to discover why it may be helpful to hold off on making a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is diving into why pressuring yourself to immediately make a decision about your infidelity situation isn’t going to lead to a decision you actually feel good about, and how to slow down, so you can make the decision that’s right for you when you’re ready. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/109
Oct 06, 2022•37 min
Some people are very preoccupied, perhaps even obsessed, with the question of why people cheat. But is that a helpful question to ask? Dr. Marie Murphy is here to show you why, although every single person is responsible for their actions, nobody acts in a vacuum. Social conditions create the context in which cheating happens, so you’ll learn about the circumstances that make it more likely for cheating to occur, and how these structures come up against individual agency. Get full show notes and...
Sep 29, 2022•35 min
Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the question, “Is monogamy natural or unnatural?” Marie is diving deep into what natural even means, the meaning that gets applied to the word natural, and why it only gets more complicated when you try to bring the natural versus unnatural debate to how you think about your relationships, monogamy, and what you really want in your sexual and romantic life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/107...
Sep 22, 2022•35 min
Maybe you want to leave your marriage, but you’re not sure exactly why yet. Perhaps you think your marriage is something you should aspire to and value, but you’re not fully wanting it. Asking yourself, “Why would I want to leave a perfect relationship?” is the wrong question. So, in this episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to ask yourself the right questions that show you what you really want, not what you think you should want. Get full show notes and more information here: https://ma...
Sep 15, 2022•28 min
Tune in this week to discover why your attempts to systematically compare your relationships aren’t helping you make a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why being in a relationship with more than one wonderful person isn’t some kind of terrible problem that needs resolving immediately, and she’s showing you how to decide what you really want, so you can make a checklist that actually works for you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/105...
Sep 08, 2022•27 min
Despite what you may have told yourself, it’s your human right to have desires and make choices in the service of what you want, regardless of whether other people like them or not. If you’re in the midst of an infidelity situation, you don’t need anybody telling you what you should be doing. You need to figure out what you want and how to get it, so in this episode, I’m showing you how to cultivate the courage to make new choices that lead to the change you want for your life. Get full show not...
Sep 01, 2022•28 min
Pain and suffering may be inevitable parts of the human experience. But when we can learn to deal with our discomfort differently, we can eliminate unnecessary suffering. So, tune in this week to discover how to deal with a vindictive affair partner, and how to use your thinking to get clear on what exactly it is you’re afraid of, how likely it is that your fears will be realized, and how you would proceed if you didn’t feel so freaked out about the situation becoming volatile. Get full show not...
Aug 25, 2022•42 min
Tune in this week for some non-judgmental advice if you’ve been caught in the act of cheating, or been presented with irrefutable evidence of your cheating. Dr. Marie Murphy is focusing on your feelings about getting caught, dealing with your partner’s response to what’s going on, and how to decide on the way you want to frame your story - what you want to disclose, and thinking carefully about what you want to do next. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/10...
Aug 18, 2022•35 min
Is emotional discomfort getting in the way of what you want most from your relationships? When faced with a situation that challenges your growth, it is normal to feel discomfort. How can you embrace that discomfort to rebuild your relationship? When transforming your relationship, you need to concede that emotional discomfort — just like physical discomfort — is part of life. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to recognize an emotional experience in constructive ways has profound and broad...
Aug 11, 2022•34 min
Do you find yourself torn between wanting to resolve your relationship worries and being afraid of negative consequences? What is the best way to deal with infidelity drama, uncertainty, and intrusive thoughts? Dr. Marie Murphy says it all starts with being faithful to yourself. She shares her advice on various challenges that could seem terrifying and explains how facing these challenges can bring you peace in your relationships as well as in your everyday life. In this episode of Your Secret i...
Aug 04, 2022•25 min
When it comes to romantic relationships, what are your expectations and intentions? How can you contribute to your relationship constructively to ensure your needs are met? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, your relationships with others are important, but the relationship you have with yourself is even more significant. How you contribute to a relationship carries the most weight, so it’s crucial to be clear on your understanding of what you expect from yourself and your romantic partner. By estab...
Jul 28, 2022•24 min
When confronted with grief, difficult situations, or relationship challenges, it’s easy to convince ourselves of uncertainty or confusion to avoid making tough decisions. Yet, these thoughts are often unproductive and promote stagnancy. So, how can you change your mindset to overcome these difficulties? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends establishing what you know and want so you can begin to make decisions that will satisfy your desires. It’s important to remember that you always have a choice about w...
Jul 21, 2022•36 min
Why do you want to re-engage in your primary relationship? How can you intentionally generate excitement and a deep passion with your primary partner? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the convenient option of re-engaging with your primary does not mean it is obligatory. While the comfortable and familiar route may be the easiest, it also comes with challenges, difficulties, and awkwardness. Dr. Murphy recommends meeting those challenges with enthusiasm, and to be present and fully honest with your...
Jul 14, 2022•35 min
When presented with the prospect of dismantling their lives by ending their marriage, people may become dismayed. What happens when your affair partner doesn’t leave their marriage — but you do? It can be easy to downgrade your value and blame your partner’s actions on the explanation that you’re deeply and fatally flawed. When someone makes a choice, Dr. Marie Murphy says you can’t manage what other people do, you can only manage your decisions about how to respond to them. You have the power t...
Jul 07, 2022•38 min
What happens when your affair partner becomes needy of your attention and affection? How can you handle the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty when ending your marriage while being pushed by your affair partner to make a decision? Dr. Marie Murphy says it's all about how you manage your mind and deal with your emotions. You feel good when you’re with your affair partner, so you begin to expect that feeling. But, when things go differently, you may encounter feelings of neediness. What does D...
Jun 30, 2022•44 min
It’s easy to feel exhausted when you’re constantly at someone else’s disposal. Society’s biases toward a Martyr Complex can make it difficult to talk about — especially when you’re told to sacrifice your own happiness at someone else’s expense. How can you set boundaries to achieve your own happiness, even when it feels difficult? Loretta knows what it is like to face challenges, stigmas, and responsibilities as a caregiver to her husband with Alzheimer's. Since her husband’s diagnosis, she had ...
Jun 23, 2022•53 min
