Are you feeling pressure and guilt about your infidelity situation with the upcoming holidays? How do you find a sense of relief from the thoughts clouding your mind? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the key to clearing your mind is understanding the meaning you assign to your circumstances. We are constantly giving meaning to our lives, but it is essential to separate the facts from our stories. Dr. Murphy suggests forming the habit of examining your thoughts and beliefs in more neutral terms, so...
Nov 18, 2021•28 min
Does making a decision about your infidelity situation seem like an unfathomable problem? How can you make the best choice for yourself in the present moment? Understandably, many people do not want to face the consequences of their difficult choices. They tend to identify the uncomfortable emotions that come with these decisions as unfavorable — but Dr. Marie Murphy asks: what if these feelings aren’t inherently negative? If you can recognize the inevitable discomfort of these emotions, you can...
Nov 11, 2021•26 min
Are you wondering if you’re compromising too much or not enough in your marriage? How do you know when you’ve crossed the threshold of unhappiness and need to make a change? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, our beliefs about what is possible determine what becomes possible. Your reality is what you make it — as long as you’re willing to put in the work. While it can be challenging to address your feelings and desires, Dr. Murphy suggests that changing how you approach your marriage or relationship...
Nov 04, 2021•26 min
How are other people’s feelings impacting your emotions and choices? What would happen if you started taking responsibility for your own feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s possible to take responsibility for your actions and feelings — without needing to feel responsible for other people’s emotions. The path to peace is discovering the power of your own thoughts and learning to let go of other people’s emotions. As Dr. Murphy says, no one can determine your feelings for you. It’s up t...
Oct 28, 2021•21 min
Are you questioning what you want out of your relationship? Society often hides the challenges of marriage, and many relationships don’t work out. But, how do you know which path forward is the right one for you? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people enter into a marriage with little to no idea of what marriage means to them. They may believe it is the only legitimate form of partnership — without knowing what they want out of that partnership. And, when a marriage doesn’t work out, many pe...
Oct 21, 2021•26 min
When you imagine the worst-case scenario about a change in your finances, you may be ignoring the critical question: do you want to continue a romantic partnership with your spouse? Many people struggle to make a change to their infidelity situation because of financial concerns. So, how can you start alleviating your fears about money? Dr. Marie Murphy suggests taking the fears head-on, investigating your true feelings surrounding financial change, and asking yourself: is the money worth your u...
Oct 14, 2021•27 min
Are you considering re-engaging in a relationship after an affair but unsure where to start? Whether you want to reorient yourself with a partner after a period of disconnection, or you just want to be on neutral ground before deciding to leave, Dr. Marie Murphy is here to guide you through the process. The first step is asking yourself if you truly want to re-engage with your partner. If so, Dr. Murphy’s strategies can help you manage unintentional thoughts, rekindle desire, and work toward the...
Oct 07, 2021•39 min
Are you trying to make changes to your infidelity situation, but are having difficulty dealing with the contradictions of your thoughts and desires? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the decisions surrounding infidelity may seem complicated — especially if you have strong feelings for your affair partner. But, if you don’t have a clear reason for ending or staying in your relationship, you will never have a clear answer. Luckily, there are some techniques to help you identify the desires and motiva...
Sep 30, 2021•24 min
Does wanting to leave your marriage seem like an unsolvable problem? What do you do if the decision is unclear? It’s completely normal to have concerns and fears when contemplating divorce. But, according to Dr. Marie Murphy, considering leaving your marriage does not equate to getting a divorce. By taking the time to acknowledge your dissatisfaction with your marriage and work through your mixed emotions, you can find the solution that is right for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe Wi...
Sep 23, 2021•21 min
Do you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to resolve these contradictions, you must first acknowledge the good parts of your infidelity situation. While it’s essential to recognize these emotions, it doesn’t mean they need to define your relationship. Dr. Murphy says that the best way to overcome these difficult thoughts is to have self-ac...
Sep 16, 2021•27 min
Infidelity, separation, or divorce can have parents wondering if they’re harming their children. As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed — especially when you’re going through a big life change. But what if there was a way to navigate these tricky feelings and create a better relationship with your kids? As the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome, Abigail Wald is here to help you overcome your fears about parenting. If you want to build a strong relationship with your children after your divor...
Sep 09, 2021•56 min
Are you seeking to free yourself from other people’s thoughts about your infidelity? If you’re having an affair, other people may cast a blanket of disapproval over your situation — and that can cause you to start forming the same negative opinions. But, do you really want to give someone that power over your beliefs and feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s common for people to seek approval from others about their decisions. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As Dr. Murphy says, you g...
Sep 02, 2021•25 min
What do you want people to believe about you? Other people’s opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will have positive and negative opinions, but when they are not aligned with your own, it's easy to devalue yourself. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, many people conceptualize their opinions of what is right or wrong as being fundamentally correct — but this is not always valid. Although it’s common to desire the approval of other people, it’s important to avo...
Aug 26, 2021•31 min
It’s easy to feel encapsulated in an adultery bubble. With all the stigma around infidelity, where can you go to speak about the feelings you have? Is there a place to escape judgment and shame? Mona Lisa has created a safe space for adulterers, like herself, to connect without fear. For Mona, infidelity is empowering and provides her with a sense of freedom — but it is not without pain and other difficult emotions. She knows other people are navigating the same feelings, and that’s why she beli...
Aug 19, 2021•50 min
New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the “honeymoon period.” But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relationship doomed — or can this energy spark a long-term bond? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, “new relationship energy” isn’t always a bad thing. While it’s important to recognize its existence and role in your relationship, it doesn't mean that the romance is over once this excitement wears off. So, how can you continue to build a sustainable relations...
Aug 12, 2021•23 min
Do you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and over again in your head? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s important to stop blaming and shaming yourself and start releasing your own pain. While forgiving yourself doesn’t mean getting a free pass to abdicate any kind of responsibility, you can shift your focus to the more positive contributions that you want to make. This way, your past mistak...
Aug 05, 2021•19 min
Being the “other person” in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to leave their long-term partner. With such difficult emotions at play, how can you choose the best path forward? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s easy to obsess over your partner’s decisions when you’re the “other person” in an affair. However, it’s important to remember that you have ultimate control over your life — and the decisions you make i...
Jul 29, 2021•22 min
People have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it might seem easier to try and avoid the discomfort by hiding your true desires or beliefs. But that response typically isn’t what’s best for you. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, embracing discomfort is sometimes the only way you can truly start feeling better. Doing the right thing for yourself will occasionally result in judgment from othe...
Jul 22, 2021•47 min
If you’ve ever been the “other person” in an affair, you’re probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more complicated when being the “other person” turns into a pattern. So, if you’ve found yourself in this position repeatedly and it’s not fulfilling your desires, what can you do to change your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, sometimes being the “other person” can feel like a tragic curse that you can’t shake. However, if you want things to be diff...
Jul 15, 2021•23 min
Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you’ll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society’s biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you’re not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situation and let go of the guilt and shame of staying in a difficult partnership? Certified Life Coach Kari...
Jul 08, 2021•43 min
Being the “other person” in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you’re stuck or powerless in your situation. And, because of the taboo nature of the relationship, you might not have anyone to talk to about your feelings besides your affair partner. So, how can you figure out what you really want from your relationship and start changing your circumstances today? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have more power over your situa...
Jul 01, 2021•29 min
How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life? According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally eliminate the things that create desire and make the relationship exciting — but it doesn’t have to be...
Jun 24, 2021•51 min
If you aren’t getting what you want out of your relationship, what can you do to make a change? Couples therapy is one option, but it doesn’t always work for every relationship. Fortunately, there are other ways of improving your relationship and satisfying your individual needs. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple, one-size-fits-all solution — and no one but you can tell you what you need. As she says, you’ll have to decide for yourself what’s truly right for you. However, there a...
Jun 17, 2021•38 min
When everyday life is chaotic, difficult, or unfulfilling, affairs can offer an escape from reality. However, the deception of an affair isn’t always limited to the lies we tell others — trying to escape reality can also be a way of deceiving ourselves. According to author Gina Frangello, nothing is really an escape. She understands how, at first, leading a double life can feel exciting and intoxicating. But, while it may initially seem like a neat compartmentalized part of your life, your affai...
Jun 10, 2021•50 min
Heartbreak can be devastating. And, it’s not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved with the practicalities of untangling your life from someone else’s. So how do you move forward in a healthy way? Is there a technique for transforming your pain into something better? According to Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson, you can turn your pain into power with the right tools and perspectives. As she says, your internal beliefs are much stronger...
Jun 03, 2021•45 min
Unfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion’s messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren’t religious, you can still be affected by the messages that have seeped into society — such as the ideas that masturbation is bad or pleasure is wrong. So, how can you overcome these problematic frameworks and rewire your relationship to sex? As a Sexual-Spiritual Advisor, Melissa Hite helps her clients reframe their sexual response cycles and embrace their...
May 27, 2021•42 min
Wanting relief from uncomfortable feelings doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s a natural, human response. However, it’s important to determine whether you’re actually dealing with your discomfort or simply avoiding it. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, the short-term satisfaction you find through avoiding uncomfortable feelings is typically outweighed by long-term consequences. But, many people aren’t taught how to deal with discomfort in a constructive way. That’s where Dr. Mur...
May 20, 2021•22 min
What does it mean to have good sex? Has science uncovered the truth about what feeds desire? And, is there a way to redefine your understanding of sexuality and rekindle a positive sexual relationship with your partner? According to Dr. Barry McCarthy, sexuality consists of three components: intimacy, pleasure, and eroticism. For a healthy sexual relationship to exist, those components need to be balanced and approached with realistic expectations. So, how can you start having better sex today? ...
May 13, 2021•42 min
When a couple relocates for one person’s job, it can be difficult to adjust to the new circumstances. Yael Haklai-Neagu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, knows from first-hand experience just how challenging that process can be. When she moved to the United States for her partner’s job 16 years ago, she had to overcome a number of difficulties — including the extra stress the relocation placed on her relationship. According to Yael, the individual who moves for their partner’s job (also...
May 06, 2021•32 min
How can you lower your levels of anxiety, stress, and negativity? Is it possible to change how you feel by changing the way that you think? And, can you improve your relationships by learning how to be more present? According to Dr. Richard Gold, mindfulness and meditation are the keys to relieving your stress, boosting your mood, and even improving your relationships. He suggests that by changing how you think about your circumstances, you can affect psychological changes and form new pathways ...
Apr 29, 2021•49 min
