Dealing with the loss of any relationship can be difficult, and the end of an affair is no different. However, because of the secretive and taboo nature of infidelity, navigating the emotional aftermath can be confusing and lonely — especially if there’s nowhere to turn for support. So, how can you manage that lingering sadness and find the right path forward? If you’re looking for a better way to deal with your emotions after an affair, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests that you begin by changing how y...
Apr 22, 2021•27 min
Leaving a bad relationship can be scary when you don’t have the resources to support yourself on your own. But, figuring out how to manage your finances is only part of the equation. Dealing with your emotional entanglements with money can be just as challenging as you work to get yourself back on track—and prepare for future relationships. This was especially true for Financial Coach Christine Luken, who had to deal with the painful financial aftermath of leaving a seven-year relationship. That...
Apr 15, 2021•40 min
You should never try and fit yourself into a mold of someone else's preferences. But, deciding to go against societal norms can be challenging. So, how do you know if a big decision—such as opening up your relationship—will be worth it in the end? When Susan Wenzel decided to try nonmonogamy with her partner, she struggled with a range of difficult emotions before finding happiness. As she says, we can’t know what the future holds, but we are responsible for our choices—including how we choose t...
Apr 08, 2021•40 min
Recovering from an affair is a difficult and emotional process. From dealing with shame to deciding whether or not to move forward, many couples aren’t sure of how to begin healing. Wouldn’t it be helpful if there was someone you could turn to for guidance on your journey to a new and stronger relationship? After working with couples who were recovering from infidelity, Idit Sharoni realized that what they needed most was a roadmap to healing—so she created one. Although the path isn’t necessari...
Apr 01, 2021•57 min
Most people would agree that your partner can’t fill every role in your life, but what happens when they’re unwilling to explore your sexual desires? If you love your spouse and don’t want to break up your family, do you simply accept going without and learn to live with suppressing your sexual needs? After spending years repressing her sexual desires and coping with feelings of rejection in her marriage, Nikki S. concluded that it was her responsibility to fulfill her own needs. So, she decided...
Mar 25, 2021•47 min
Affairs can be intoxicating, but they can also leave you feeling confused and ashamed once the excitement wears off. So, why do people cheat, and what makes an affair difficult to end? And, once you’ve been caught in your lie, how can you salvage your relationship? A lot of the answers for why we do what we do can be traced back to the chemicals flooding our brains. Much like being under the influence of a drug, our chemical response to a new or elicit relationship can make it difficult to see t...
Mar 18, 2021•43 min
Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, but the work doesn’t end there—not if you truly want to revitalize and reinvent your life. But, where do you begin when you’re ready to start over? Alta M. Felix understands how difficult it is to move on and begin to heal after surviving trauma. She has experienced firsthand what it’s like to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship, and now she wants to help other women let go of the past and work toward a better future. With ...
Mar 11, 2021•51 min
All relationships change over time, but how often do you renegotiate the rules surrounding them? What happens when a long and happy marriage becomes sexless? Do you have options beyond ending the marriage or compromising your needs? After spending time in therapy with her husband trying to deal with their differing sex drives, Janine came up with a solution. Instead of throwing away her entire marriage over one missing part, she decided to outsource that one aspect to save the rest. Now, she is ...
Mar 04, 2021•31 min
Money is a taboo subject in any situation—but when it comes to relationships, talking about finances can feel downright impossible. With financial stress being one of the top causes of divorce, it’s no wonder that most of us would rather avoid the topic altogether. But, according to Couples Financial Coach Adam Kol, skirting the conversation often only makes things worse. With years of experience helping couples sort out the messy details around love and money, Adam Kol will be the first to tell...
Feb 25, 2021•47 min
Why do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty always the best policy? Perhaps the answer isn’t as straightforward as society likes to presume. During her time working at Ashley Madison, Isabella Mise has learned that where there’s a will there’s a way. She has gained fascinating insights from conversations with hundreds of members who use the site regularly. As she says, people have affairs for ...
Feb 18, 2021•49 min
What power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to stick with it, regardless of the cost? What if the price you pay is your own happiness? Commitments are highly valued in our society, and they can be a powerful tool to help us achieve our goals. But what if we’ve committed to an outdated version of our wants and needs? For many, commitments are seen as something we’re obliged to stick with, whether...
Feb 11, 2021•30 min
Most people don’t like conflict. In fact, many of us try to avoid it at all costs. When it comes to relationships, conflict is usually thought of as bad. But, what if conflict was actually a sign of a healthy relationship? CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke don’t shy away from conflict—in their relationship or in business. At their coaching and consulting company, Thrive! Inc., they encourage other couples, teams, and individuals to face their fears and break down the barriers to addressing hea...
Feb 04, 2021•56 min
There is often a lot of shame that comes with talking about sex. Am I sexy? Is my libido too high or too low? What if I can’t get my partner to orgasm? What if I can’t climax? Is it too kinky to introduce toys—or not kinky enough? Amy Baldwin deals with a lot of shame in her work as a sex educator and coach. But, she doesn’t think we should shy away from these intrusive thoughts; in fact, she says that ignoring our insecurities will only cause them to eventually bubble to the surface. Instead, A...
Jan 28, 2021•53 min
Here’s a tricky question: should you tell your partner if you’ve cheated on them? While many people believe that there is a simple “yes” or “no” answer, this question may be a bit more complicated than we think. Disclosing your infidelity to your partner isn’t a matter-of-fact situation. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, you’re not obligated to tell anyone about your affair—whether it was a one-time thing or a long-term relationship. But, every action has a consequence, so regardless of what you decide ...
Jan 21, 2021•24 min
There is a whole mess of social pressures around considering divorce: what will your family and friends think? What will a separation do to your kids? How will you be viewed in social and professional spaces after getting divorced? But, what about the financial considerations? What happens if you and your partner are both in agreement that a separation would be best, but you don’t think you can afford to make it happen? This is where a financial analyst comes in handy. They can help you make the...
Jan 14, 2021•50 min
So, you’ve had an affair and your family has found out about it. What now? Before you can even contemplate making a decision, the first thought that runs through your mind is: what about the kids? It can be incredibly difficult to navigate complex situations such as infidelity when you’re just dealing with yourself and your partner—but add your children into the mix and it can feel downright impossible. While Dr. Marie Murphy says this is completely normal, there is something you’re going to hav...
Jan 07, 2021•24 min
The New Year is fast approaching and everyone’s mind has turned to the same thing: resolutions for 2021. But before you start listing down all the things you want to change for the coming year, there are two important questions that you might not have asked yourself in a while that can help you determine what to add to your list: What do you really want? And more importantly, why do you want it? According to Dr. Jonathan Horowitz, getting honest about your answer to the questions above won’t jus...
Dec 31, 2020•41 min
When something big happens in your life, it doesn’t just affect you—it also impacts everyone around you. This is especially true when you have children. So, how do you navigate talking to your kids about the more difficult life changes, such as infidelity, separation, or divorce? Instead of descending into a nervous sweat or putting on the cone of silence, parenting coach Abigail Wald says to take it a little bit easier on yourself. Why? Because your children are incredibly capable—and they prob...
Dec 24, 2020•43 min
What’s in the cards for the future of your romantic relationships? Undying love? Heartbreak? Freedom—or constraints? If you’re curious to know what lies ahead, you may have considered going for a card reading to find out. But, according to medical intuitive Courtney Moore, the Tarot isn’t for future-telling—it’s for guidance. Courtney sees the Tarot as an information gathering system to help you make the decisions that will best serve you (and that you may have been putting off). Join Dr. Marie ...
Dec 17, 2020•50 min
Have you ever felt responsible for your partner’s feelings? When they’re reacting to something you’ve done, it can be hard not to feel like it’s your job to make them feel better. But, guess what: someone else’s emotions are not under your control—nor should they be. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, taking responsibility for your feelings, and your feelings alone, is an essential step in building a healthy relationship—or dealing with the aftermath of an affair. As she says, there is only one path...
Dec 10, 2020•30 min
We’ve all seen the movies: someone suspects they’re being cheated on, so they call a private investigator to follow their partner in a high-speed chase that ends in a dramatic scene. However, the reality is just a bit different. Art Tilis, a private investigator and the Owner of Foglight Investigations, has received many calls from clients who believe their partner is having an affair. According to Art, the investigation process is a bit different from what we’ve seen on television and the big s...
Dec 03, 2020•32 min
When it comes to infidelity, there are a lot of different thoughts that may run through someone’s mind. Why did this happen? Did I do something wrong? And, importantly: what do we do now? The response to infidelity looks different for everyone. While some couples may choose to work it out, others may look to divorce—which, in many cases, involves the discussion of custody agreements, property division, spousal support, and more. In today’s episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Rodrigo Dias, a f...
Nov 26, 2020•40 min
There’s a lot of black and white thinking when it comes to the way we regard infidelity as a society. You’re either cheating or you’re not; you’re either right or you’re wrong; you’re either good or you’re bad. In Suzannah Weiss’s case, however, she was largely operating in the gray. As a sex and relationship writer, Suzannah went through her own experience of cheating, for lack of a better word, on her boyfriend of three years. After getting a better idea of what she does and doesn’t want from ...
Nov 19, 2020•27 min
Depending on who you’re talking to, polyamory can be a bad word. Many people believe that entering a poly relationship is an excuse to have your cake and eat it too, a way to exert control over a significant other, or a loophole to avoid breaking up. Magenta Brooks is here to tell you that polyamory—and more specifically, ethical non-monogamy—is none of those things. With honest communication and vulnerability, it can be a relationship dynamic that fully and authentically serves everyone involve...
Nov 12, 2020•58 min
Why are you married? Did you fall in love with another person and come to a decision to share your lives together with official documentation? Did you feel happy? Or, did you feel pressured, like you had no other choice? To date, marriage is still seen as the most legitimate form a relationship can take. Coupled with surmounting societal pressure to “settle down” once you reach a certain age, it can be hard to consider that there may be other options—especially if you feel like marriage, or even...
Nov 05, 2020•24 min
Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. These are often the first few words that come to mind when we talk about affairs. What you might not know, however, is that affairs involve a complexity of emotions, including confusion, anxiety, and yes, even excitement. Recognizing and processing what you’re feeling during an affair requires some real work and hard confrontations. But, if you’re honest with yourself and avoid taking tempting shortcuts, you can make it to the other side with the most important emoti...
Oct 29, 2020•40 min
So, you’re in a monogamous relationship and you’ve been seeing someone outside of it. Or, perhaps you’ve found out that your partner has another relationship that you knew nothing about. The question remains the same: how do you talk about it? For nonviolent communication specialist Joyce Swaving, honest communication is key. But to ensure that you’re communicating safely and effectively, it’s important to practice nonviolence during these difficult conversations with your partner. Joyce’s advic...
Oct 22, 2020•34 min
The college degree, the 9-5 office job, the white picket fence, and, most importantly, the loving spouse and 2.5 children: once you’ve achieved these, you have it all! Or, do you? Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’ve been taught that there’s a right way to do life—especially when it comes to our romantic relationships. In our culture, we’re told that to have a healthy love life, we must have one partner who serves all of our needs. Without any deviations, this relationship should end in marri...
Oct 15, 2020•47 min
Think about the last time you were in a difficult situation. How did you maneuver it? Were you ultimately able to choose how to move forward? And most importantly: was the decision you made in your own best interest? There’s a lot that goes into our decision-making process—probably more than we realize. When you’re operating in the gray area of what’s “right” and what’s “wrong,” it can be hard to separate how the choices you make will be perceived from how they will actually make you feel. In th...
Oct 08, 2020•27 min
It’s that pivotal scene in the movie: The couple who has been at odds is about to consummate their passion and get into bed. Things are getting steamy, clothes are being thrown around, and then they’re under the sheets. But did anyone reach for protection? A condom? A dental dam? Anything? With references to protection being left out of scenes like this in movies, books, and porn, it begs the question: Can safe sex be sexy? And if not, what are the consequences? According to nurse practitioner L...
Oct 01, 2020•48 min
