Is it really okay to end something that's working well? After much consideration, I've decided to pause production of Your Secret is Safe With Me indefinitely while I pursue new creative endeavors. This decision wasn't made because anything is wrong—quite the opposite. My experience with this transition mirrors what many of my clients face in their relationships and life choices. There's often a belief that we shouldn't end something that's "good enough" or that we must finish everything we've s...
Apr 10, 2025•23 min
Have you ever felt stuck between two good choices? Through my personal story of leaving a life I loved to join the Peace Corps, I illustrate how choosing between two good things - while challenging - can lead to profound growth and fulfillment. If you're struggling with a decision that feels impossible because both options have value, this episode is for you. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/212...
Mar 27, 2025•46 min
Feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world? Wondering how to focus on your own personal struggles—like dealing with infidelity—when global crises seem so much bigger? In this episode, I explore how to stay engaged with the world's problems without being consumed by them. You'll learn why tending to your own challenges is not selfish but essential, and how taking responsibility for what you can control helps you build resilience and show up for yourself and others. Get full show notes, transcr...
Mar 13, 2025•33 min
Does your partner's sexual past make you uncomfortable? What if you found out they had exchanged sex for money before you met - would that feel like cheating? These are the kinds of thorny questions I tackle head-on in this week’s episode. I’ll help you examine your beliefs about sex work, infidelity, and how much of our pasts we need to share with new partners. Whether you've been on either side of this situation or are just curious to expand your perspective, you'll gain valuable insights for ...
Feb 27, 2025•33 min
Have you ever felt like you have competing desires when it comes to relationships? Like part of you craves freedom and adventure while another part yearns for deep intimacy and stability? Astrologer Karen Hawkwood joins me this week to discuss how astrology can provide a framework for understanding these complex and often paradoxical needs. We also discuss how legitimizing all parts of ourselves, even the ones that seem to be in conflict, is key to finding more peace in our love lives. If you've...
Feb 13, 2025•1 hr 14 min
Is paying for sex cheating? In this week’s episode, I dive into the complex intersection of sex work and infidelity. I explore how to be a conscious consumer of sexual services, the social stigma around sex work, and the diversity of experiences within the industry. I also address listener questions about the risks and benefits of seeing sex workers versus having an affair. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/208...
Jan 30, 2025•34 min
Have you ever wondered if your astrological chart holds clues to your relationship patterns and tendencies? In this episode, I sit down with teacher and practitioner of archetypal astrology, Karen Hawkwood, to explore how astrology can provide valuable insights into the parts of ourselves that shape our experiences with infidelity. Whether you're well-versed in astrology or simply curious about how it might relate to your own infidelity situation, this episode offers a thought-provoking perspect...
Jan 16, 2025•1 hr 12 min
What would your life look like a year from now if you resolved your infidelity situation in a way that felt really amazing to you? Do you struggle to imagine what resolving your infidelity situation could look like? Listen in this week as I dive into the power of envisioning your ideal future and guide you through a series of prompts that will help you imagine the most delightful, satisfying resolution to your infidelity situation. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: http...
Jan 02, 2025•15 min
What if I told you that the key to making positive changes in your life is self-love and acceptance, not self-loathing? It may sound counterintuitive, but giving yourself credit for what you HAVE done can be incredibly motivating, especially if you've been beating yourself up over infidelity. In this episode, I guide you through an exercise to reflect on your accomplishments, big and small, over the past year. You'll be amazed at how empowering it feels! Get full show notes, transcript, and more...
Dec 19, 2024•17 min
Do the holidays have you feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place in your infidelity situation? You're not alone. Trying to balance family obligations with an affair partner's desires can seem impossible. But even when you don't like your options, you still have choices. In this episode, I explore real-world scenarios and discuss how to identify your options, make decisions you feel good about, and take responsibility for your own happiness - no matter what your affair partner or spouse doe...
Dec 05, 2024•36 min
What's more important to you - your money or your freedom? If you're stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in but are reluctant to leave because you don't want to lose half your wealth, you're not alone. Many of my clients grapple with this dilemma. In this episode, I dig into what money really means to you and how to weigh that against the freedom to live life on your own terms. I share strategies to get clear on your values and make empowered choices so you can start untangling your thought...
Nov 21, 2024•39 min
Are you struggling with the idea of breaking up with your affair partner? How do you tell them it's over in a way that doesn't sound like an ultimatum? Is it possible to stay friends afterwards? And what if you work together - how do you navigate that? This is a uniquely challenging situation that brings up a lot of difficult questions, but I’ve got you covered. In this episode, I provide compassionate, nonjudgmental guidance on how to end an affair relationship as considerately as possible. Whi...
Nov 07, 2024•45 min
High-conflict breakups are always going to be tricky. And when infidelity is involved, feelings can get amplified, leading to some pretty interesting behavior. Some people have a particularly hard time when a relationship comes to an end, feeling sad, hurt, rejected, unloved, abandoned... even worthless. So, how do you go about extricating yourself from a relationship with someone who is (to put it in the most simplistic terms) behaving very badly? Tune in this week for a conversation about deal...
Oct 24, 2024•33 min
Does your marriage or your committed relationship CURRENTLY feel like home to you? Or are you running off of memories of what your relationship once felt like to you? If you are dissatisfied with your committed relationship to the point where you’re seriously considering leaving, but you think you can’t leave because your sense of home is predicated upon you staying, I invite you to listen in this week. Through my own nostalgia for past experiences of feeling at home, I share how to identify you...
Oct 10, 2024•42 min
No matter what you've done or are doing in regards to your infidelity situation, you are worthy of acceptance, love, and respect. As you'll hear in this episode, I explore the idea that there ARE people out there who will understand and accept you, even if they know all the details of your infidelity. While it may seem like everyone would judge and shun you, that simply isn't true. I also answer a question from a listener about their specific infidelity situation, which will offer valuable persp...
Sep 26, 2024•34 min
What do you do if your ex-affair partner's spouse wants to talk to you about the affair? Do you owe them an apology or explanation? Is there actually anything you can say to make this person feel any better? In this episode, I explore the tricky question of what, if anything, you might want to offer the partner of someone you had an affair with. I discuss how to set boundaries that align with your values, share strategies for engaging in difficult conversations, and you’ll learn how to decide ex...
Sep 12, 2024•31 min
Have you ever reconnected with a former flame and found yourself in an affair, wondering if this is your second chance at true love? When people are engaging in affairs with someone they've been involved with in the past, they tend to see these relationships as an incredibly high-stakes situation. Tune in this week to look at some of the major challenges of engaging in affairs with old lovers, how you might be inadvertently creating unnecessary drama through the way you think about this relation...
Aug 29, 2024•38 min
Are you tolerating aspects of your life and relationship situations that you shouldn't? This week, I dive into what happens when we tolerate things we don’t like, and why we so often think we have to put up with them when we don’t. Find out why so many people don’t want to acknowledge that they are tolerating things they dislike in their affair relationships, the problem with disliking something and not being willing to face it, and what you can do if you are in this scenario. Get full show note...
Aug 15, 2024•42 min
Something I hear regularly is the belief that relationships that begin as affairs cannot transition into non-affair relationships. A lot of folks I work with are CONVINCED that if they start an affair relationship, it will never be able to get onto “normal” footing, and it is simply doomed to fail. But does this have to be true? Is this what you want to be true for your relationship? In this week’s episode, I help you disentangle a few things about your affair relationship, address the misconcep...
Aug 01, 2024•57 min
Are you facing doubt in your infidelity situation? Do you want to make a decision but feel uncertain about what the right decision is? Maybe you are unsure whether to end things with your marriage and pursue a relationship with your affair partner. Maybe you don’t know whether your marriage is worth fighting for. Maybe you worry about the impact that exposing your affair or leaving your committed relationship will have on the people you love. This week, I show you how to deal with doubt in your ...
Jul 18, 2024•48 min
If you are married or in a long-term relationship and also involved with someone else, there may be one big question on your mind when you think about ending your committed relationship: what exactly do you owe yourself, your partner, or your relationship before you can decide to leave it? This week, discover why you feel so much pressure to try everything before leaving your committed relationship and what to do to avoid staying stuck in limbo when you feel this way. I share some actions you ca...
Jul 04, 2024•45 min
Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about your ex-affair partner? Do you torture yourself reminiscing on the wonderful times you shared, and the amazing memories you hold with them, even though the infidelity situation has since come to an end? Discover the reasons you might still be fantasizing about your ex-affair partner, and how to start to ease your way out of this if you really do want to relegate your memories to the compost bin of history. I share some tips to help you take action that...
Jun 20, 2024•40 min
There is a common belief that marriage should last a lifetime. So when somebody decides that they are dissatisfied with life as they know it, and engage in an infidelity situation as a result, it is commonly labeled as a midlife crisis. But what if waking up one morning and deciding you are dissatisfied with your life is a wonderful opportunity to reexamine what you want and what you want to do about it? This week, I show you why engaging in infidelity isn’t always a symptom of a midlife crisis,...
Jun 06, 2024•44 min
The Magic Button that I’m diving deeper into this week is the one you wish you could push to answer all your questions about your infidelity situation. The one that, when you push it, your infidelity situation magically resolves in a way that you are delighted with, without you having to do much of anything. That magic button would solve all your problems, right? I teach you how to contend with things that are challenging in your life and infidelity situation in a way that is most empowering for...
May 23, 2024•49 min
People often freak out when infidelity occurs, even if it has pretty much zero impact on their lives. It gets treated as a big scandal that the "perpetrator" needs to redeem themselves from. Whether or not you buy into the idea that scandal, disgrace, and redemption are real things, other people turning your experiences into a public spectacle is a very real thing, and it's a pretty big deal. Tune in this week to discover what you need to consider if you find yourself the object of a scandalous ...
May 09, 2024•56 min
Have you ever found yourself in an affair situation with someone who is monogamously committed to someone else? For a while, your partner is pretty sure they want to leave that relationship and pursue a non-affair relationship with you. They share their intentions to leave their partner for weeks, months, or even years, and they may even take action to prove these intentions. Then, one day, your affair partner reaches the point where they decide that they can’t leave their committed relationship...
Apr 25, 2024•42 min
How often do you make a decision that you think you’re happy with, then doubt yourself and fear it was the wrong one because you feel so many mixed emotions about it? When you make a major decision in your life, about your infidelity situation or otherwise, you are most likely going to have mixed thoughts and feelings about it, but that DOESN’T mean it’s a problem or a sign you should choose differently. In this week’s episode of Your Secret Is Safe With Me, learn why it is completely okay to ch...
Apr 11, 2024•45 min
Join me for part two of "Why I Do the Work I Do" as I share the turning point that led me to become a relationship coach specializing in non-judgmental assistance to people engaging in infidelity, and exactly what it took for me to get here. I’m picking up where I left off last week and sharing the power of taking small steps forward, even when your confidence is wavering, and how I created this unique role for myself despite believing for a while that I didn’t have what it takes to be an entrep...
Mar 28, 2024•52 min
As you may be aware, “non-judgmental infidelity coach” is not a common job description that exists out there in the world, at least not to my knowledge. This thing I do and the angle I take is pretty unique, and I am dedicated to offering non-judgmental guidance to people actively engaging in any form of infidelity. But how did I get here? What exactly led me to do the work I do? In this week’s episode, I share where my interest in all things sexuality and the stigma surrounding it came from, an...
Mar 21, 2024•1 hr 2 min
At some point, the drawbacks of your infidelity situation can start to outweigh the benefits, and if this happens for you, you may want to start thinking about taking a conscious, deliberate approach to resolving your infidelity situation in a way you feel good about. Yes it might feel hard at first – so hard that you may decide that you’d rather stay put and continue to accept the status quo – but here’s the thing: staying stuck and stressed is NOT your only option. It is NOT as hard to resolve...
Mar 14, 2024•25 min
