If you experience boredom after you’ve stopped engaging in infidelity, you may not know what to do with yourself, and you are NOT alone. Post-infidelity boredom is a thing, but fortunately for you, I have some recommendations to help you deal with it. In this episode, I share why you might find yourself feeling bored once you end your infidelity situation, some examples of what this can look like and indications that you are feeling this way, and how to examine your overall satisfaction with lif...
Mar 07, 2024•41 min
In this week’s episode, I talk about why exploring non-monogamy COULD be a way to resolve your infidelity situation… and when why exploring non-monogamy may NOT going to be an effective way to resolve your infidelity situation. As non-monogamy becomes a more and more legitimate way to configure our relationships, it’s increasingly important to use discretion when we’re wondering if turning a monogamous relationship into a non-monogamous one will help us resolve our infidelity situation. Get full...
Feb 29, 2024•32 min
Before initiating the conversation with your partner about your affair, there are some things you need to be clear on. In today’s episode, I discuss how to tell your partner about your affair and provide tips on how to approach this conversation in two different kinds of circumstances. When you find yourself in the situation of telling your partner about your affair, there are many things you can choose to say, ways you can react, and ways you can disclose your infidelity. Learn how to have this...
Feb 22, 2024•42 min
Is your affair partner invested in helping you leave your committed relationship? In today’s episode, I explain the importance of understanding the extent to which your focus is on your affair partner’s desires and how to be aware if the decisions you’re making are for yourself. Even if you want the same things your affair partner wants, you each have to take your own path to get there, and it’s important that you differentiate wanting something and actually deciding to do it. Learn the key thin...
Feb 15, 2024•32 min
Today, I look at the question of how long you should wait for your affair partner to leave their marriage. Maybe you don’t want to set a timeline for your partner and prefer to wait indefinitely for them to leave. Regardless of your situation, I guide you in making the decision that is right for you. Learn the questions to ask yourself and discover how to get clear on how long you are willing to wait for them, why it’s worth waiting, or why you are not willing to wait for them to leave their mar...
Feb 08, 2024•36 min
Today, I’m talking to those of you who have an agenda for your affair partner. Even though you mean well, the truth is that you can only manage your own business. It’s important to let your affair partner figure things out for themselves, and today, I’ll explain why. Understanding what you want when you have an agenda, whether you realize it or not, will only help YOU deal with your infidelity situation. Hear why letting go of your agenda is good for your partner and perhaps even more so for you...
Feb 01, 2024•34 min
Whether you've been a dedicated listener for a while or have just recently tuned in to the podcast, you might be curious about what it's like to work together. In this episode, I share what it's like to receive my coaching and how it can benefit you, regardless of the type of infidelity situation you are in. I discuss my philosophy and approach to infidelity, explaining the three ways we can work together. You'll learn what you can expect from the Self-Guided Course, the Group Coaching Program, ...
Jan 25, 2024•34 min
The feeling of fear is one of the things that can make infidelity situations seem so hard to deal with. There are a LOT of things that might seem scary within your infidelity situation. Will life as you know it come to an end if you choose to pursue a relationship that began as an affair? Will you kids hate you forever if you choose to end your marriage with their other parent? Will getting divorced be awful and painful? What will people think of you if they know you’ve cheated? Here’s the great...
Jan 18, 2024•38 min
Are you ready to make some changes but don't know where to start? This week, I share some helpful tools to help you create change and resolve your infidelity situation. You might need to do things you’ve never done before, and that’s okay. I explain how the sooner you find a way to address the situation, the better your overall quality of life will be, and I also discuss the role your feelings play when making significant changes. These tools will guide you through the changes in your relationsh...
Jan 11, 2024•28 min
With a new year beginning, there's a feeling of change in the air for some. And maybe that change has to do with your infidelity situation. In this episode, I explore how to take charge of change in your infidelity situation, the reasons we sometimes avoid change, and why our mindset is the number one factor in making change. Tune in to learn how to be a person who takes action in a way you never have before. It is possible to feel differently about your infidelity situation, but more importantl...
Jan 04, 2024•24 min
I believe that “difficulty” is not an absolute truth or fact but rather a matter of our thinking. In this episode, I discuss the many ways we can think differently about difficult situations. I revisit my concept of the “think, feel, act” cycle and explore how you can reshift your thinking around the idea of difficulty. When we don’t deal with the root of the problem, we usually prolong our troubles. And to not prolong our troubles, we simply need to start facing them. Tune in for some tough coa...
Dec 28, 2023•31 min
Often, people dealing with an affair ending come up against disenfranchised grief and finding forced validity in their experience. In today’s episode, I discuss how to deal with missing your affair partner in a way that supports your feelings and reasons, regardless of your support system or situation. Learn how to get through the three main stages of your affair ending and how to honor your sense of loss in each one. Understand how to find lessons in both your heavy and freeing feelings. There’...
Dec 21, 2023•30 min
Often, our infidelity situations come with extreme highs and lows. In this episode, I talk about that emotional rollercoaster and how the extreme ups and downs can feel like a really big deal. I discuss different situations where these ups and downs can occur and how handling this rollercoaster is totally doable. You get to decide how you want to ride the rollercoaster, how long you want to stay on, and when you want to get off. Tune in to learn some simple mental shifts that can help you feel i...
Dec 14, 2023•25 min
Holidays or not, there’s never a perfect time to break up with someone. You may have been planning to break up with your partner, but then Thanksgiving rolled around, now Christmas, and then it's New Year's…I get it, and it's okay to choose to wait. But how will you go through with your choice when the holidays are all said and done? In this episode, I discuss how to make the most of breaking up with someone post-holiday. I teach you how to take initiative and make a clear decision, all while ma...
Dec 07, 2023•31 min
The holidays are fast approaching, and you might be in the midst of figuring out your family’s plans. More importantly, you may be figuring out how to integrate your former affair partner, now partner , into your family’s holiday plans. In this episode, I explore how to prepare for the different scenarios and responses that you may experience when bringing your new partner home for the holidays. I cover negative and lukewarm responses, how to play the long game, and that your relationship actual...
Nov 30, 2023•35 min
In this episode, I share a lengthy list of questions that you can answer to help find the gifts within your infidelity situation. It would be silly to act like you’re not getting something positive out of it, so why not acknowledge what that something is? Answer these questions honestly, don't hold back, and don’t judge your responses. Realize that being honest with yourself is a prerequisite for living the life you want. Regardless of the situation, your infidelity may be the catalyst for your ...
Nov 23, 2023•17 min
Breakups are an amazing opportunity to start over. You can be feeling sad, hurt, and angry, while also stepping into a new chapter of your life. In this episode, I discuss how you can grow forward while still processing a breakup from the past. I talk about reframing the story of your breakup, how to foster new connections with yourself and others, and how to start actively cultivating joy. Choosing to begin a new chapter is a profound act of self-love. Listen in to learn how to start over after...
Nov 16, 2023•37 min
If someone you love breaks up with you, it may hurt like hell. If a relationship that you hoped would continue comes to an end, you may be hurt, devastated, and possibly very pissed off. And that’s totally fair and totally reasonable. Sometimes the only possible response to being broken up with is to feel profoundly awful for a while. In this week’s episode of “Your Secret is Safe with Me,” I talk about why it can feel like you’re dying when a relationship you’ve cherished comes to an end, and w...
Nov 09, 2023•34 min
It’s reasonable to have hopes, wishes, and desires in any relationship. However, trying to coerce, cajole, or threaten your partner into getting what you want is never the solution. Whether you feel pulled to issue your infidelity partner an ultimatum, or find yourself on the receiving end of one, this episode covers both sides of the coin. Join me this week to hear what you must recognize if you are thinking about issuing an ultimatum and how to navigate receiving an ultimatum in your affair re...
Nov 02, 2023•42 min
Are you worried about cheating on your affair partner? Is that even possible? This is a real dilemma that my clients bring up, so if you can relate, you are definitely not alone. What counts as cheating in this scenario can vary from person to person. However, there are three super common situations that my clients bring up, and I'm diving into all three this week. Tune in to explore how you may have gotten into this situation and what to do next. Get full show notes and more information here: h...
Oct 26, 2023•46 min
Breaking up with partners is something most people lack experience in. Whether your breakup is the result of infidelity, you’re breaking up with an affair partner, or you’ve just decided that you no longer want to be in a relationship, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing whether it’s better to take a breadcrumbs or a bombshell approach to breaking up with someone, and she’s sharing how to decide which approach will work best for your specific situation. Get full show notes an...
Oct 19, 2023•31 min
Your time and energy are limited, and when you don’t make decisions quickly and effectively, you’re wasting both. Infidelity situations are often fraught with difficult decisions, and people have real trouble deciding what they want. Sometimes people think there’s value in taking time to think things over. But is that actually objectively true? Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing how humans tend to stall making decisions under the guise of considering their options, how you may have started to identi...
Oct 12, 2023•36 min
The problem with dismissing your desires because of potentially reckless outcomes is not going to help you decide what you really want. If you are faced with wanting to make a decision about your infidelity and you’re worried that it may lead to a reckless outcome, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is helping you see your thoughts about your behavior being reckless, sharing why there is no real defined criteria for recklessness, and showing you how to start working through your thoughts ...
Oct 05, 2023•31 min
Why does cheating on your fiancé present a particularly complex situation? Of course, not everybody puts marriage and monogamy together, but if you’re formally planning to marry someone and you’re engaging in some sexual or romantic behavior that your fiancé wouldn’t be happy to find out about, today’s episode is for you. Discover the obvious and subtle reasons why cheating on your fiancé presents a stressful situation, how the pressure to get married can prevent you from making a decision you a...
Sep 28, 2023•29 min
When you can break down your infidelity situation into individual worries, questions, hopes, decisions, and actions, you can start deciding what you want to do one piece at a time. However, when you’re in an agitated state, breaking your experience down becomes incredibly challenging. Discover why you can’t eat the elephant that is your infidelity situation in one bite. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to consider breaking your complicated infidelity situation down into manageable chunks and ...
Sep 21, 2023•34 min
This week’s episode is all about learning how to forgive yourself when you fall short of your own expectations, and forgiving others when things don’t work out the way you’d hoped or expected. Forgiveness in this form is powerful, especially when negotiating an infidelity situation. However, there are some nuances you need to be clear about before you start forgiving yourself or anyone else in your life. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing why believing you should be forgiving can make you even more ...
Sep 14, 2023•38 min
If you’re in the midst of an infidelity situation, there are plenty of opportunities for you to think of yourself as an asshole. Humans tend to be terrified of the idea that other people won’t like them, but they’re particularly terrified that the people they love might think they’re a total asshole. However, have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that you might be an asshole? Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the idea that just because someone else thinks you’re an asshole, that doesn...
Sep 07, 2023•31 min
This week, Marie is going in-depth on the things for which you and your affair partner need to take collective responsibility, and the things your affair partner has to take sole responsibility for themselves. Discover the areas where you and your affair partner need to be on the same page. Learn about communication regarding what each party wants, and the significant issues that can arise from relying on rigid agreements in an affair relationship. Get full show notes and more information here: ...
Aug 31, 2023•38 min
In any relationship, affair or otherwise, there are things you and your partner can deal with together, and there are some things that you or your partner can only address as individuals. Today, you need to consider that the best thing you can do for yourself and your affair relationship is to begin to take responsibility for what’s happening on your side of the street. Tune in this week for part one of a series all about nurturing and sustaining a long-term affair. Learn how to take responsibil...
Aug 24, 2023•44 min
It’s common for people to believe that they themselves don’t have the ultimate power to make decisions. Maybe they don’t think they have permission to choose, they shouldn’t want what they want, or they need to consider others before deciding. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to start being your own steward. Are you assuming responsibility for what you're creating in your life and taking ownership of the decisions you've made? What does it even mean to do these things? Dr. Marie Murphy is brea...
Aug 17, 2023•32 min
