Your Kickstarter Sucks - podcast cover

Your Kickstarter Sucks

Jesse Farrar & Mike Haleart19.com

Mike Hale and Jesse Farrar comb through the crowdfunding dumpster to tell you what projects are worth supporting with your hard-earned dollar. So far, it's been absolutely nothing, but whether it's a social media website for dogs, a toilet brush that reminds you to drink more water, or 5,000 offensive card games, maybe something will eventually be good!

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Episodes

Episode 58: Pasta Points

In this, the ACTUAL 58th episode of YKS, Mike and JF are talkin' The Return of Heep, Bible Wars, and the perks of watchin' TV with your buddy's wife. Plus, the debut of the next hot Netflix show: Office TV. For more reviews of your favorite college posters, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Our latest episode, featuring historian and author Homer J. Simpson, has been widely praised by podcast fans and academics alike.Music for this episode of YKS is courtesy of:Twitter's @lydiaburrell ...

Jun 08, 20181 hr 57 min

Episode 57: Keeping Up With The Johnsons

Ohhhh baby! It's a new episode and a new theme song baby! @LydiaBurrell hopped back in the studio to give the boys a funky-phresh new sound that you're gonna have to hear to believe. Plus, we get a little taste of Optimus Mike, who shows up to help us do diaper math and the Ted Cruz Face Scrunch. THEN....a crucial update on what everyone was doing at the specific time we asked them to write us an email (mostly driving, which, not great). For more of our favorite freshwater boys, check out www.pa...

May 25, 20181 hr 28 min

Episode 56: Tofurkey Numbers

Jesse and Mike are once again back in the studio, wearing headphones, opening cans into the microphones, sitting down, and all the classic things they're known for on today's episode of YKS. Don't look at my wife! For even more two smart guys content, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Music for this episode of YKS is provided by:Twitter's @LydiaBurrellDrew Toothpaste (www.theworstthingsforsale.com)and the superlative Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informa...

May 11, 20181 hr 27 min

Episode 55: The Land Of Milk And Honey

Wait just a minute....WHO'S F*&%^##%(ing Matt Damon here? It's YKS! And it's time to talk about Cat Poison. Mike and JF hit the scams of the week with their trusty sidekick Terrible Christopher, and stop along the way to discuss the shame of having a one-sock-son, the sharp rise in door stop costs, and the delicate precipice of balls quality.To make a donation in honor of listener Emma Leckey, go to https://beechwood.permavita.com/site/EmmaLisaAntunesLeckey.html?s=80 and read about the cause...

May 05, 20181 hr 35 min

Episode 54: Mike's Small Business

It's time to talk about Kanye West. Just kidding. Or, I don't know, maybe. Do it on your own time. This is about other stuff. For example: remembering the "Internet as a series of tubes" guy, who is now dead, why our sons hate making deals, 5th Dimensional Shifts, and VUDU Gift Cards. Plus, the complete guide to growing taters in space, and a couple letters for good measure.For more thoughts on which characters in movies should ultimately be named Tom Cruise, head on over to The Flat Earth Netwo...

Apr 27, 20181 hr 15 min

Episode 53: A Dispatch From Trout Lodge

Best friends gather round the communal iPod, it's time once again for Your Kickstarter Sucks! On today's blister-packed episode, the boys are talkin' MySpace's enormous data hoard, YKSchella, a review of Marvelous (Infinite) War, baby necks, Syria's billboards, and stabbing a....panda????!!!????? Unbelievable! Plus, Mike debuts his highly anticipated Bernie Sanders impression and we read your letters.For more ass crimes, check out Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucks. There's more episodes on there....

Apr 17, 20181 hr 35 min

Episode 52: A Splice Of Life

52 episodes...52 cards in a deck, not including the jokers. But lucky for you, this show DOES count the jokers. And there's two of 'em (they're the hosts). On this instant classic episode of YKS, Mike and Jesse riff on the saddest part of loved ones dying, sleeping in the trash, bodies falling apart, bulletproof backpack scumbags and covering cat assholes. Plus, Mike reveals his secret Juggalo past, and the boys debut a new segment: The Kitty Kat Two Pack.For more idea on what to take with you i...

Apr 04, 20181 hr 37 min

Episode 51: Hum From A Rose

It's Episode 51 of Your Kickstarter Sucks! Featuring: Jesse's triumphant return, Mike's new age, the 24 hour poem and reasons you don't improvise a campaign video, Time Swapping, the calm, calm west, and that one Justin Timberlake flick, do you remember it?For more blankets for old people, head on over to www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and sign up for YKS Premium. YKS Premium -- "Not bad"!Music for YKS is courtesy of Twitter's @LydiaBurrell, Drew Toothpaste of www.theworstthingsforsale.com...

Mar 28, 20181 hr 18 min

Episode 50: Jesse's Last Episode

A celebratory and transformative episode of YKS. For more jokes that don't pay off in the episode, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. We're still doing that, even though the title of this episode makes it seem like we aren't.Music for this episode of YKS is courtesy Twitter's @LydiaBurrell, Drew Toothpaste of www.TheWorstThingsForSale.com, and the remarkable Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and...

Mar 18, 20181 hr 43 min

Episode 49: Breakfast Aboard The Nostromo

Drive time podcast heads, YKS is comin' at ya full blast with both barrels blazin! This week we've got a terrific haggis recipe, a recap of the Indiana Jones geography, intense Chuck "Lore", and more beard opinions than I frankly cared to hear. For more on casual uncle relationships and to be entered into a chance to win prizes in The YKS Gadget Hole, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Lots of bonus stuff on there, and it's pretty good. Not as good as Martin, but still good.Music fo...

Mar 09, 20181 hr 52 min

Episode 48: Gun Recess

Episode 48. Just two more til we're done! On this week's show, Mike "Mikeman" Hale and Jesse Farrar aka "Two Kicks" are talking lookbook explainers, coffee time trials, phone phreakers, and whether there are any stores in Italy? Plus, a listener has a bone to pick with us over something other than our inflammatory comments on social media. Sorry about those, by the way.For more types of cup, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, where a bunch of bonus episodes are just sitting around with ...

Mar 01, 20181 hr 24 min

Episode 47: The Thinking Egg

On this week's episode, delayed out of respect for the Presidents or whatever, the boys are talkin' skinhead lawyers, U2 Cables, living for eternity, gravitrons, My Shittiest Halloween......and twins!!! Plus, Mike takes on Nigeria and we read your letters. For more on how to send yourself into the future using various capsules, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. It's basically your guide to becoming immortal.Music for this episode of YKS is courtesy: @LydiaBurrell, Drew Toothpaste (...

Feb 22, 20181 hr 35 min

Episode 46: The President's Bunghole

You already know who it is!!!!!! Mike and Jesse are yammerin and stammerin all about who won the Big Gadget Hole Prize (it's Greg), why the homeless hate tech, whether or not brains have electricity, and so much more, but not too much more in a way that's annoying. Plus, we've got Mike's Big Game wrap-up and several angry voicemails from conservatives. Please enjoy the show. And if not, remember, this is the free one, so it's not even really supposed to be that good.Music for this episode of YKS...

Feb 16, 20181 hr 36 min

Episode 45: Cookin' Up Trouble

It's Episode 45 and the hitmakers are back, baby! Oh you thought we were talking about your man's podcast? Foh! Foh. On this week's nearly-two-hour episode, the boys are talkin' whether chefs and panhandlers should switch titles, the worst way to watch a movie, and whether or not a Mike poops in the woods. For more intimate (and sortable!) shower data, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. For links to the kickstarters featured in today's episode, head on over to yourkickstartersucks.c...

Jan 30, 20181 hr 57 min

Episode 44: You've Got Hale

Alright gang. It's Season 3. It's time to make a good episode. So what do we got for ya? Well, here's the deal. It snowed here, so we couldn't do a very good one. Sorry. In lieu of that, though, we've got the first ever Gadget Hole Poll Winner, two new bits, a Dental Town check-in, and Mike's first Chip Rant. You wanna hear more from the Dad Bellies and the Price Genius? Head on over to www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and punch in your credit card number. For about 5 stinkin bucks, you're g...

Jan 18, 20181 hr 30 min

Episode 43: Don't Touch My Gems!

Well if it isn't a brand-new season of YKS! Get your binge-listening done now folks, because you're not going to want to miss the event of the season. Which is this. Now, Season 3 is all about looking forward, but first we take a look back at what we left behind in 2017: dead water, Australia beefs, and the flying ladies of Star Wars. After that, it's all about Picasso sweatshirts, the rising costs of hose pipe, and all manner of sea scam. So smash that play button fam!For more Mike The Bully an...

Jan 10, 20182 hr 17 min

Episode 42: Merry Kickmas Fam

Ho ho ho! Merry Kickmas to all, and to all a good....show?!?! Wowee gang, it looks like the original elf on the shelf himself has shown up to drop a little audio present down your head chimney, as Mike and Jesse cuddle up by the fireplace to celebrate Christmas the only way they know how...with a belly full of hot cocoa and bigtime laughs! This week, Mike receives a special Kickmas song, Jesse wishes for a new scale that doesn't lie, and our old friend Kris Kringle joins us from the North Pole t...

Dec 24, 20171 hr 42 min

Episode 41: Chewbacca's Big Haircut

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...two guys recorded this friggin podcast! Come on! Well, the YKS Studios may not be a rough and tumble watering hole on a desert planet at the edge of hyperspace, but this week Mike and Jesse take the willing listener on a tour beyond the stars to meet some fascinating letter creatures, catch up with various bogs, and study the enchanting Bruh Man. Plus, a listener quits his job. Now get your behind out of that wretched hive of scum and villainy a...

Dec 20, 20171 hr 48 min

Episode 40: Brown Bottle Flu

It's another banger, gang, as Jesse and Mike tackle whether or not Jesus was smart, the various benefits of sleeping with a breathing bean, and the optimal number of steps for using a cup. Plus, your letters and a very urgent voicemail. To contribute to the show, write on in at yourkickstartersucks@gmail.com or call the YKS Hotline at 802-359-PISS (it was the last number they had). For more coffee obelisks, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. There are more episodes there for you to ...

Dec 13, 20171 hr 29 min

Episode 39: Clothes for Rats with Mike Pfeiffer

Well gang, the boys are lookin' for a fight tonight and this time...they've got backup. That's right, on today's show Mike and Jesse are joined by Mike Pfeiffer to talk about standing in a circle around one small bean, The Hell Yeah Babies' new (Kickstarter-funded!) album, and play a thrilling new game called Queens of Rock. Don't like hearing three people talk? Would rather hear just two people talk? Okay! Mike and Jesse also get back into the classic tandem flow to talk Pastor Dreams, Magilla ...

Dec 06, 20171 hr 56 min

Episode 38: Obsessive Christmas Disorder

In the only version of Episode 38 to not be confined to the dustbin of history, Mike and Jesse reconnect on a post-Turkey Day extravaganza to riff on healthcare, a millennial Santa, and whether the podcast is being pirated by hackers across the globe. Plus, a role-reversed edition of Real or Fake, and your letters.For more of our favorite Lous, check out the Patreon page at www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksMusic for this episode of YKS is courtesy ofThe Hell Yeah Babies (www.thehellyeahbabies...

Nov 27, 20172 hr 7 min

YKS Premium S2E12 PREVIEW

Check this out...It's a damn holiday miracle. Today only, or only the other times when it seems like a good idea to do, we are putting up nearly a full hour of the wonderful YKS Premium episode we did with Drew Toothpaste last week. So, enjoy this Jokeblogger Top Ten deep dive, and sign up at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks to hear the rest. Plus, we've got a full free episode coming later this week as well, so you have lots of things to do instead of talking to your relatives. Ok thanks. I hav...

Nov 21, 201756 min

Episode 37: Where the Piss Goes

Well it's been a tough year for ice cream, and a tough couple of weeks with no new YKS. But Michael "Donald Trump" Hale is back from the Pac-NW to kickstart our hearts, and OH YEAH you know he's wearin' flannel. On this episode of the show, Spooky November creeps along, we Make Chili Great Again, and, of course, there's plenty of that classic portable toilet talk. For more on what looks like a fam, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks (bonus episode with Drew Toothpaste coming this wee...

Nov 13, 20171 hr 32 min

Episode 36: Crimes Against Puns

Operation Dumbo Drop is a 1995 American war comedy film directed by Simon Wincer that explores war, politics, and animal welfare. The storyline was conceived from a screenplay written by Gene Quintano and Jim Kouf based on a true story by United States Army Major Jim Morris. The film stars Danny Glover and Ray Liotta as Green Berets during the Vietnam War in 1968, who attempt to transport an elephant through jungle terrain to a local South Vietnamese village which in turn helps American forces m...

Oct 25, 20171 hr 31 min

Episode 35: Ghost House

On this very "ghould" episode of YKS, the boys are joined by a very "sweet" guest who has a touch of stage fright. So "boo" kind! Later, you'll hear some spooky and TRUE tales, as well as an extensive review of expensive trash cans. This week's episode is brought to you by Dumpster Juice Coffee. "It sucks!"For more YKS jump scares, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksMusic for YKS is provided by:The Hell Yeah BabiesDrew Toothpasteand Mark Brendle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy ...

Oct 20, 20171 hr 35 min

Episode 34: Let's Get Real

Sheldon Cooper, a 9-year-old boy, begins his first day of high school in the ninth grade with his older brother, George Cooper Jr. Having shown more skills than a typical child his age, he skipped several grades. On his first day, he questions his teachers and informs students of their rule-breaking. He tries to find his place in the new school and George must deal with having a much younger sibling in his class.For more YKS, check out our bonus episodes on Patreon: www.patreon.com/yourkickstart...

Oct 13, 20171 hr 42 min

Episode 33: Hacking Your Mom

Well folks, October is finally here, and Autumn is in the air! Will that mean sweet treats and good eats for your favorite prickly pair of crowdfunding curmudgeons??? Tune in to this week's YKS to find out!For more Gallagher rants, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Music for this episode of YKS is courtesy of: The Hell Yeah Babies www.thehellyeahbabies.comDrew Toothpaste www.theworstthingsforsale.comand The Fabulous Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more info...

Oct 03, 20171 hr 58 min

Episode 32: Google Earth Fuck

While perusing the local car lot, Jesse discovers that his deceased friend Michael has been reincarnated as a junky old automobile, so he buys him and brings him home, much to the dismay of both his wife and eccentric car collector Captain Manzini who is determined to acquire the valuable automobile by hook or crook. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-m...

Sep 23, 20171 hr 8 min

Episode 31: Pumpkin Spice Smart Pillows

Bust out the meatballs and call the wife over, it's time once again for YKS. On this week's show, Episode Unknown, the boys are talking NastyCon 2017 results, whether piss and shit are friends, the top magnets of all time, and oh yeah...Starbucks Freakin coffee. Plus: is Austin the Portland of the South or the Brooklyn of the West?Music for today's YKS is courtesy of:The Hell Yeah Babies (www.hellyeahbabies.com)Drew Toothpaste (www.theworstthingsforsale.com)listener Christian Lopetzand Mark Bren...

Sep 15, 20171 hr 56 min

Episode 30: The Thirtieth Episode Spectacular

Knock Knock...who's at the door? Is it the Kirby Vacuum salesman?Why no! It's the YKS boys and they're here to celebrate 30 wonderful episodes. Coming up on today's show, we've got information that will lead to Hillary Clinton's arrest, a checklist of things to do with your dentist, and, for the full hour, none other than Mr. Craig Leaf! For more jars of moonshine taken to the dome, check out www.Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, the exclusive home of hours and hours of YKS bonus material. Music...

Sep 07, 20171 hr 40 min
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