Of all the great communication skills, listening may be the most important. We often think speaking is the most valuable part of communication when in fact, listening is. Being an effective listener means more than taking in information in order to respond--much more! Listening to understand instead of listening to respond is powerful. What does listening to understand mean? Listening to understand means being fully present and engaged with the person who is speaking. It means giving them your u...
Nov 11, 2022•7 min•Ep. 94
Gary Chapman is the creator of the Five Love Languages concept. This concept ranks the ways we give and receive love into five categories: Words of affirmation Quality time Physical touch Acts of service Receiving gifts This episode may seem misplaced in a podcast series on confident communication but your love language is a form of communication. How you give and receive love is communicating to other people that you care and that they matter. When you feel connected and understood communicatio...
Nov 10, 2022•8 min•Ep. 93
The most important thing effective leaders have in common is their communication skills. Being a leader requires a lot of skill sets. Being able to communicate well is at the top of the list. If you're in leadership and you can't convey a message, bring people together, or help resolve complex problems you may not be in leadership very long. If you want to be a better leader you must improve your communication skills. It's important to increase your communication skills so you, and those dependi...
Nov 09, 2022•8 min•Ep. 92
Nonverbal communication makes up the majority of what is being shared between two people. Great communication includes speaking and listening, but what you're saying is emphasized by nonverbal gestures. As we communicate, our senses take in much more than what is being said audibly. We are paying close attention to other things too. Nonverbal communication includes things like: Body language Proximity Gestures Facial expressions Tone of voice Nonverbal communication is a vital part of communicat...
Nov 08, 2022•8 min•Ep. 91
Dealing with difficult people can be exhausting. Even the most confident communicator takes a deep breath before engaging with someone who is difficult. Whether it's a difficult co-worker, client or family member, there are certain communication strategies you can use to diffuse the situation and keep your peace. It can be hard to know what to do when dealing with difficult people but silence is a valid choice. Many people are uncomfortable with silence but it's a powerful tool. Here you'll find...
Nov 07, 2022•9 min•Ep. 90
Sometimes there are demands on your life that make self-care nearly impossible. As a result, self-care gets shoved way down the list of things you’d like to do but can’t or don’t. Sometimes this is temporary or situational and other times it becomes chronic. Even in the most difficult times, it is still possible to make self-care a priority. In this episode we look at: What self-care has to do with communication What happens when self-care isn't a priority How you feel when you ignore self-care ...
Nov 06, 2022•9 min•Ep. 89
Confident communicators are influenced by other confident people. No one knows how to do life completely on their own. There's no instruction manual handed out when we are born. We learn about life and all there is to know through things that are taught and caught. Role models play a big part in how we develop. The stronger the role model, the stronger their influence. Role models are everywhere. You don't need to know someone personally for them to be a role model for you. Thanks to books, movi...
Nov 05, 2022•9 min•Ep. 88
In episode 85 I shared how your childhood can impact your communication style . Maybe your communication skills need some work and you have bad habits that should be broken. That's ok! You can always develop better communication skills. The first step in dropping a bad communication habit is recognizing it and owning it. You may be unaware that you've got some poor communication habits. You can't change something you're not aware of or won't acknowledge. The good news is there's plenty you can d...
Nov 04, 2022•8 min•Ep. 87
There's nothing like communicating with a confident woman who is secure in herself. Confident women communicate with ease and leave people feeling better after spending time with them. Wouldn't it be nice to feel your best every time you communicate? You can, by focusing on your confidence! Women who communicate confidently share some key characteristics. They: Tend to be more positive than negative Are comfortable with themselves Know what they want to communicate Are assertive Are respectful o...
Nov 03, 2022•9 min•Ep. 86
Your parents didn't do this on purpose but they may have sabotaged your communication style. If you find that you have difficulty communicating or often find yourself at odds with other people, it could be that your childhood sabotaged your communication style. We learn what we live and if you lived in a home with chaos or unhealthy forms of communication, it's likely you adopted those traits and you're still using that framework as an adult. You might not realize it, but these childhood habits ...
Nov 02, 2022•9 min•Ep. 85
Most people are terrible communicators. This can lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings, and conflict. Confident communication is the key to effetive relationships. Building relationships is important to everyone. No one wants to be in conflict with people and feel disconnected. Most of us are searching to build meaningful relationships at home and at work. One of the easiest ways to have meaningful relationships is to be a more confident communicator. Confident communication starts with co...
Nov 01, 2022•7 min•Ep. 84
We've all been there. You put in long hours, do your best work, and contribute to the team - but when it comes time for recognition or a raise, you're ignored. It's hard not to feel devalued when you're constantly putting in effort but don't see the results. You start to doubt yourself and wonder what's wrong with you. The good news is that you're not alone. In this episode of Your Confident Self, I'll help you understand how to recover from the disappointment and move forward. I'll also share t...
Mar 02, 2022•21 min•Ep. 83
Anna Oakes is a consultant coach and caretaker of humanity. She combines her love for humanity with her 20 plus years of corporate experience. Now the magic, the intersection of her love for humanity and her love and understanding of corporate is what she's going to share with us today. She's not talking about something that she's read about, or something that she saw on TV, or an article that she read in an airplane magazine while she was on a flight. What she's bringing today is what she knows...
Sep 29, 2020•46 min•Ep. 82
There are some situations you don’t expect to learn anything from, like watching an episode of Columbo. I love that show, but I consider it pure entertainment and a light-version at that. I recently took a second look at it with a specific goal in mind–to consider what Columbo might say about our current uncertain times. At times like these, we could all use a role model who knows how to thrive in the most uncertain times. Hence, my ‘research’ into Columbo. In case you haven’t seen the show, he ...
Sep 22, 2020•12 min•Ep. 81
This episode was 17 years in the making. Joining me on the podcast is a woman who had to punch fear in the throat and shut down a successful business in order to chase her true dream. An award-winner in two different careers, Ana Lydia Monaco stopped by to walk us through her big, scary career pivot and let us know how the shift worked out! Her insights on being true to who you are and walking through life with grace are going to rock your socks. Growing up, nobody in Ana Lydia's immediate famil...
Sep 15, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 80
Jeannell Darden is a super successful entrepreneur who knows a lot about battling low self-confidence and learning to appreciate her own beauty. Jeannell is the Founder & CEO of Moisture Love. It's been quite a journey from a chance encounter at a natural hair store in Downtown Durham to the podcast, but I'm delighted that Jeannell finally made it. Getting comfortable with your own beauty is a complicated and life-long process. Jeannell breaks down how she has worked on this (and continues t...
Aug 18, 2020•51 min•Ep. 79
Most of us are taught to be people pleasers from a very young age, so the idea that there are any benefits to be achieved if you stop caring if people like you is probably a new one for many of us. The biggest advantage is that it frees you to be your authentic self, shaking off the weight of society's expectations so that you can focus on creating your own unique destiny. There are actually many advantages to being disliked and unpopular. Here are just a few. Being True to Yourself Not Bowing t...
Jun 30, 2020•10 min•Ep. 78
So many people are suffering right now. Between the global health pandemic and the scourge that is rampant racism here in America, people are suffering. And more than that, they are angry that the world changed without their permission and they are struggling to name what is going on with them. We are most in trouble when we’re struggling with what used to be—and our desire to have things as they were before. That is gone. In this episode we discussed: The different ways that people are grieving...
Jun 16, 2020•57 min
Being an authentic woman means you know who you are and are confident letting the world see the real you. The word authentic means true, genuine, and real. Our social media-centric society focuses much more on appearance rather than reality. Just look at the glossy magazines with photoshopped images of supermodels or the picture-perfect Instagram feeds and you can see how easy it is to fall into the trap of becoming shallow, fake, and inauthentic. It takes courage to punch fear in the throat and...
Jan 28, 2020•8 min•Ep. 76
Do you know what it means to be authentic? Whenever we hear the word authentic, we automatically associate it with a physical object being genuine and of high value, such as an authentic Romare Bearden painting or a natural diamond. The opposite of authentic is inauthentic - not real, fake, phony, insincere. When we think about the concept of the authentic self, most women focus mainly on being truthful and honest. These are valuable attributes, but really living an authentic life involves a lot...
Jan 21, 2020•7 min•Ep. 75
Wondering what the pressure is that you feel all the time? It's the pressure of living a lie. Here is a quick quiz that will let you know if you're living a lie. Just answer these questions honestly to get the answers you need. In this episode I ask 7 quick questions to help you determine if you're under pressure due to living a lie. Then I look at why you might be doing that and benefits you'll get from cutting that out. :) The weight of being a fake person can be overwhelming. Think about how ...
Jan 14, 2020•7 min•Ep. 74
What if I told you there are 9 character traits that super motivated women possess? Because that is what I'm telling you. These traits help them stay motivated in order to accomplish what's important to them. If you are missing any of these traits, now is a great time to identify the gap and make a plan to close it. Motivated women have a purpose Motivated women are brave Motivated women take time to reflect Motivated women take time to celebrate Learn the rest of the character traits in this we...
Jan 07, 2020•7 min•Ep. 73
We admire women that never seem to give up. But while we're admiring them it makes us a bit sad because we realize that we give up far too quickly. It’s not something we’re proud of, and we're haunted by the idea of how much more we could have accomplished with just a little more determination. Most women have no idea why they give up quickly, but this behavior is something you can definitely change. The first step is to gain some insight into why women give up before they succeed. In this episo...
Oct 29, 2019•7 min•Ep. 72
If you harness the power of saying no you can avoid the problem of over-committing. That's when you make a commitment. Then you make another. Before you know it, you're making yet another commitment. It’s a never-ending cycle. You overcommit to your job, your friends, colleagues, social causes, family, etc. These commitments add hundreds of hours and stress to your already over-scheduled life. One of the most important things to remember is that time is finite. No matter how hard you try, you'll...
Oct 01, 2019•39 min•Ep. 71
Chelsey Brooke stops by the podcast to tell us about the rise of the powerful introvert. Introverts are often misunderstood and mis-labeled by people who don't understand the personality type. Often people think introverted women are boring or stuck-up because of the way they show up in the world. Those people couldn't be more wrong! Powerful introverts are fabulous and this episode outlines how we can shine in the workplace and increase our confidence. Chelsey is so passionate about introverts ...
Sep 17, 2019•45 min•Ep. 70
Today we will look at 10 ways to stop your critics from stealing your dream. I never wanted to be a cop but I do love those shows. I’m fascinated by the techniques they use to prevent crimes. So I’m going to apply some of that investigative wisdom to protecting your dream. Have you ever gotten excited about doing something, only to be shot down by the people that you thought would support you? It happens all the time. Maybe you decided you wanted to train for a marathon, only for some super help...
Sep 10, 2019•15 min•Ep. 69
When most of you started your professional journeys you likely thought your most important responsibility was managing yourself and your work tasks. Over time, the most successful among you learned managing your manager had a much bigger impact on career success. Trying to talk to your boss can be intimidating, uncomfortable and awkward. But if you know the right way to approach your manager, you can not only survive the conversation, you can thrive in your workplace . Effective communication wi...
Aug 06, 2019•14 min•Ep. 67
Confident women should refuse to do certain things. Why? Because their strengths lie in focusing on the right things and ignoring the wrong ones. Confident women do and think certain things, but they also avoid thinking and doing certain things. If you want to have more confidence, consider avoiding these things, too. It’s easier to climb a mountain without carrying a rock. Drop the habits and other behaviors that burden your ability to feel confident. Without these obstacles getting in your way...
Jul 24, 2019•8 min•Ep. 66
Let's talk about how you gave up on the dream career you want. Once you have given up, what are you supposed to do next? First, a little background. One of the most important things about hope is that it prevents you from giving up. You may be thinking, you haven’t given up on anything. Are you sure? I ended a recent podcast episode by saying one of the most important things about hope is that it prevents you from giving up. (If you need to learn the basics of the power of hope, be sure to go ba...
Jul 09, 2019•14 min•Ep. 65
When things suck it's hard to feel gratitude but I have 7 ways to feel gratitude that will help you get through it. Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions that you can experience. It connects you to what is really important in your life. It reminds you that as long as you’re breathing, everything is going to be okay . And it helps frame your day, your expectations, and your actions. Embracing gratitude can be as simple as saying thank you. Life is unpredictable and occasionally things su...
Jun 25, 2019•13 min•Ep. 64
