In this episode, I unpack the phrase “when you know you know” and how I used to take this phrase very literally, which caused a lot of anxiety and pressure on me. I deconstruct what it actually means to ‘know’ something or have ‘knowledge’, as well as the characteristics of someone who is more likely to ‘know’ something within their relationship or life. If you’ve ever heard someone say they “just knew” their partner was the one and felt crappy about it (“what do they know, and how do they know ...
Oct 29, 2024•48 min
Does it feel like you’re doing all the ‘right’ things but you’re still not happy? Does it feel like everyone around you seems to be happier than you, and you feel so guilty about it? What if this wasn’t a flaw or something you’re doing wrong – and we have been getting happiness wrong all along? In this episode, I sat down with Stephanie Harrison of @newhappyco to explore what happiness is and isn’t, and how we can take small steps to become more happy and fulfilled in our lives. For more of Step...
Oct 22, 2024•49 min
In this episode, MJ and I discuss why lowering the bar in your life and relationship might actually be a good thing. No, this isn’t about settling or letting go of standards. It’s about moving forward without beating yourself up for every imperfection along the way, and taking small intentional actions instead of waiting for everything to perfectly line up before you can move forward. This is the permission slip I’ve needed for so many years, and I know it will feel like a breath of fresh air! F...
Oct 15, 2024•44 min
In this episode, I explore the common struggle of wanting anxiety to disappear and how this often makes the anxiety feel even stronger. Many people ask, “Why is my anxiety still here even after I’ve tried all the tools?” – let's discuss a helpful shift in mindset that can transform your relationship with it. I cover: The nature of anxiety and why resisting it can make it feel stronger How to reframe your motivation behind coping tools and strategies Why viewing anxiety as a "roommate" rather tha...
Oct 08, 2024•17 min
I’ve never done this before, but today I am bringing you a training from my Patreon membership to the podcast to show you a peek into the types of trainings we have every month! This month’s topic: wanting to stay in your relationship, but knowing you want things to be better or different, too. If you want to dive into a library of trainings like this, and connect with 300+ others on a journey to become more secure… Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community – Additional resources: Get th...
Oct 01, 2024•26 min
In this episode, Chelsea and I dive into the idea that true relationship strength often comes from embracing differences rather than being exactly the same. We cover: Chelsea’s journey of overcoming internalized beliefs that partners must think alike How she learned to appreciate her husband's contrasting qualities How differences can nurture a deeper love, personal growth, and a more expansive understanding of what it means to truly connect with someone …and more For more of Chelsea’s work Webs...
Sep 24, 2024•37 min
It can feel so painful to be disconnected from your partner. I get it, because I’ve had a few of these moments myself recently! Let’s talk about it. In this episode, I share: Recent examples when Nate and I felt disconnected Why it feels so painful to be disconnected from your partner 5 ways to respond next time you’re disconnected 7 helpful mindsets around disconnection + connection to help you feel more empowered – Additional resources: Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lif...
Sep 17, 2024•34 min
This episode focuses on healing anxiety from the inside out. And who better to speak to than Alison Seponara – therapist, anxiety educator, holistic healer, and author who specializes in helping others create their own holistic anxiety healing toolkit! Anxiety can come from many different pillars of our life; our friendships, our physical health and wellbeing, our relational attachment dynamics, our mental patterns, and so much more. Alison and I cover each of these topics and offer bite-sized t...
Sep 10, 2024•50 min
You are in for a TREAT with this episode, which truly felt like a therapy session for me. I sat down with Thais Gibson who has over a decade working as a practitioner and specializes in blending attachment theory, psychology, and subconscious reprogramming. We discuss what Thais refers to as the “relationship shadow” and explore why our partners can be so dang triggering (it’s not what you think!) and how to navigate these triggers more mindfully. For more about Thais, check out: Website: https:...
Sep 03, 2024•48 min
Have you ever felt like you were not going “fast enough” in your journey to heal relationship anxiety or ROCD? Maybe you’ve seen other people share their wins and felt like you’re just not getting it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we compare to other people’s highlight reels–but today I am peeling back the curtain of what healing relationship anxiety actually looks like. Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! — Montage Fallacy article by Herbert Lui Additional resources: Join Deconstru...
Aug 27, 2024•21 min
If you are the partner of someone with relationship anxiety, this episode is for you. If you have relationship anxiety and want to be able to ask your partner for more intentional support, this episode is for you! Thank you to the help of the You Love and You Learn community on Instagram for this episode. I received dozens of answers to the question “how does your partner help you navigate relationship anxiety?” to influence this episode. I cover: How to help a partner with relationship anxiety ...
Aug 20, 2024•31 min
If you have ever felt like your healthy relationship is boring and the “vibes are off” – this episode is for you! I sat down with Dr. Morgan Anderson, a clinical psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast. In this episode we discuss: Why Morgan rejected, sabotaged, and avoided available love for so long What emotional availability looks like What happens when we prioritize vibes, spark, chemistry 3 reasons why we sabotage healthy relationships …and more. For...
Aug 13, 2024•39 min
I loved this conversation because time and time again this comes up in the work I do with clients (and it was a pattern in my own relationship). I sat down with Charisse Cooke, who is a London-based relationship psychotherapist with over 20 years experience. She helps individuals, couples and groups develop relationship skills and define love in a way that has meaning for them. In this episode we discuss: what love addiction is and how we can take the thrill of the chase to extremes what happens...
Aug 06, 2024•49 min
Do you ever notice yourself feeling good, then suddenly an anxious voice pops up saying “wait, shouldn’t I be worrying about something?” or “if I don’t worry about this–how will I figure it out?” I’ve been here, and I used to sabotage most of my good feelings by jumping straight back into worry. In this episode, I explore: Why fear can try to block us from experiencing joy What patterns to look for (worry withdrawals, resistance) How to respond to these patterns differently and widen your tolera...
Jul 30, 2024•24 min
In this episode, I share my personal journey from getting engaged (June 2023) to planning my wedding (in May 2025). Thanks to great questions from the You Love and You Learn community…I discuss: How to enjoy your engagement phase before and during wedding planning What I’ve learned about my personality during this time How to accept the moments when you felt stressed or overwhelmed by the planning / decisions How to make decisions about the wedding itself without worrying there is a better optio...
Jul 23, 2024•28 min
You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about navigating relational dynamics with our partner’s family. Should we set boundaries with our partner’s family? Should they? How to navigate with family’s criticism? How to create connection with in-laws? We explore all of these topics and h...
Jul 16, 2024•39 min
You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about what’s happening in our OWN mind when it relates to our partner’s family. Expectation vs. reality (and the anxiety that causes), insecurities when we compare to other people’s relationships with their in-laws, and feeling triggered by spec...
Jul 09, 2024•46 min
his episode is a long-time coming, one I have been so excited to record and share with you because I wish more people knew this information! Menstrual cycles can have such a huge effect on how we’re showing up throughout the month, and if we don’t know what to expect…we can feel a lil’ crazy or guilty about the changes in energy, mindset, and emotions. So I brought Ash McDonald, Therapeutic Business and Life Mentor, on the show who is someone that went through her own journey with cycle syncing ...
Jul 02, 2024•48 min
I was pleasantly surprised when I listened to a podcast with James Sexton, a divorce lawyer who’s seen the ups and downs of couples for 25+ years in his career and has a lot of wisdom to share from it. Today’s episode focuses on a key thing he sees that leads to relationship breakdown: 1. Not knowing what you want or need, and 2. Not knowing how to express what you want or need. I explore different categories that it can be helpful to explore your needs in, two book recommendations to help you g...
Jun 25, 2024•31 min
This simple reframe has helped me (and dozens of my clients) in moments of relationship anxiety: zooming in when you’re thinking too big-picture, and zooming out when you’re hyper-fixated on something in the present moment. I explain why this matters in your relationship and specific examples of zooming in and out to help manage your anxiety. If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources: Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital c...
Jun 18, 2024•17 min
This topic is LONG overdue, and that is feeling unworthy and how this affects our life and the ways we show up in our relationships. I’m thrilled to have had the chance to speak with Sarah Baldwin, who is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and expert in the field of trauma resolution. We explore reasons we feel unworthy, how to become kinder to ourselves, how to reconnect with our body if we’ve been stuck up in the mind our whole life, what it means to be connected to your ‘truth,’ and more. Fo...
Jun 11, 2024•50 min
Are you clear about what your needs are in a relationship? If so, do you communicate them openly with your partner? If you answered no to either question, you’ll enjoy this conversation. Our partners cannot read our minds, especially if we are not even sure what we’re expecting in the first place, so it’s important to take time to think about these things. To explore this, I chatted with Gayane Aramyan, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health support for women ...
Jun 04, 2024•43 min
Common questions I am asked are “what if I never had a honeymoon phase?” and “is it bad if I’ve had relationship anxiety/ROCD from the beginning of my relationship?” My two cents is how long we’ve had RA/ROCD is less relevant than what is contributing to the RA/ROCD…and that’s exactly what I explore in this episode! What factors may have contributed to RA/ROCD being there from the beginning, and how to move forward if this is your experience. If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND Y...
May 28, 2024•19 min
Have you ever felt bored in your relationship and worried that something is wrong? Maybe you’ve wondered “is this normal, shouldn’t things feel more exciting than this?” I’ve been there, and this has been a trigger I have struggled with myself, so I wanted to explore it more. In this episode, I explore: 3 reasons why healthy love can feel boring What inner work you can do if you feel disappointed by boredom What actions you can take in your relationship if you feel bored If you’re loving the pod...
May 21, 2024•40 min
It can be so hard to trust ourselves when there is so much relationship information and advice out there. Even well-meaning friends and family can add their two cents when sometimes, we really didn’t need it! In this episode, I sat down with a client of mine who shares her journey of trusting her intuition in her first serious relationship. We also explore the fear of being attracted to other people and how to discern if you should listen to other people’s advice. To get access to the “Is it Anx...
May 14, 2024•52 min
Today we’re diving into something that has a big impact on our overall mental health and wellbeing; our vagus nerve. Amanda Armstrong, neuroscience and trauma-informed anxiety & depression coach (and now AUTHOR!) is back on the podcast to help walk us through how to improve our mental health by working with our vagus nerve - the nerve that connects our brain and body, and regulates our nervous system. Amanda has so much wisdom to share (check out episode 50 in case you have not heard that on...
May 07, 2024•50 min
In this episode, I address advice like “a relationship should feel mostly positive / easy / joyful in order to be worth it”, and “if the balance swings negative or if the association is that the relationship is difficult or complex then it’s a red flag.” If you’ve ever wondered “shouldn’t this be easier?” – this episode is for you! The article I mentioned in the podcast is here: https://www.lionsroar.com/intimate-relationship-as-a-spiritual-crucible/ — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN THE YO...
Apr 30, 2024•58 min
There is so much to learn from the Gottman Method of therapy, which is based on 40+ years of relationship research thanks to the work of John and Julie Gottman. I wanted to discuss how we can apply some of these key lessons to build better relationship habits, and was grateful to have a conversation with Anna Aslanian, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who’s a certified Gottman Method therapist. For more about Anna, check out: https://www.instagram.com/mytherapycorner/ https://mytherapyco...
Apr 23, 2024•45 min
‘Healing’ and growth are usually looked at as good things. But what happens when it becomes something we’re doing to try and be perfect and fix all the ‘bad stuff’? If you feel like you ‘should’ be on a healing journey and growing, or else you’re doing something wrong and not going to live up to your ‘potential’ – this episode is for you. It’s a set of reminders that I come back to often, especially when my inner perfectionist tells me I’m not ‘healed’ enough. — If you’re enjoying the podcast… J...
Apr 16, 2024•43 min
Perfectionism has been a big theme on the podcast, but it’s sooooo needed! I truly think perfectionism is one of the biggest impacts on how we show up in our life and relationship, so this episode is for all my high achievers who put the bar so high for themselves and others around them. I sit down with Kayla Licari, a physician associate turned coach that helps perfectionists conquer overwhelm in love and life. After realizing she was burning out from overachieving, perfectionist loops that wer...
Apr 09, 2024•45 min
