Does it ever feel like your mind just won’t stop throwing thoughts at you? In this episode, I sit down with relationship coach Rebecca Ore to talk about how to ‘master your mind drama’ and take your power back from anxious thoughts and feelings. She shares her own journey of going from feeling insecure in relationships to valuing herself and feeling worthy through simple, tangible tools and reframes that you can use right away! Resources Rebecca mentioned in the episode: Feel the Fear and Do It ...
Apr 02, 2024•49 min
Our partners and relationships are constantly reflecting things back to us, and if we’re willing to ‘look in the mirror’ we can learn so much. One way we can learn from our relationship is to notice when we’re projecting; “when we see the self in the other.” In this episode, I normalize projecting (you’re not doing something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’), give examples of projections in my relationship so you can notice them more in your own, and share steps to shift out of projection into more self-awarene...
Mar 26, 2024•30 min
Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing your relationship to others around you? Maybe you see a couple break up then worry you’re doomed to break up too. Or you see another couple doing something “better” than you and feel like your relationship isn’t good enough. In this episode, I chat with relationship anxiety coach McKell Kristen about how to shift from being triggered about other people’s relationships to building a deeper trust in yourself and your relationship. She shares the 3 R’s o...
Mar 19, 2024•47 min
I’ll be happy when… I find The One my anxiety goes away my partner acts this way my partner looks just right my feelings are what I expect them to be these thoughts go away We place so many rules on ourselves and our partners, and sometimes expect the perfect conditions to be in place in order for us to be happy or be content. In this episode, I break down why this “I’ll be happy when” trap isn’t helping ourselves and our relationships, and give you 5 practices to shift out of this. — JOIN THE Y...
Mar 12, 2024•31 min
In this episode I got to sit down with Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research who has been recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide. We talked all about her findings about self-compassion and how creating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves influences how we show up for others. This episode covers: the 3 pillars of self-compassion how to implement the pillars of self-compassion in your life how to feel your feelings without getting l...
Mar 05, 2024•51 min
A lot of times in our relationships, it’s easy to look at our partner and notice all the things they could be doing better. “It’s you, not me.” What’s not-so-easy is taking the time to understand how our own beliefs, patterns, and past experiences contribute to the dynamic. “It’s not you, it’s me.” In this episode, I sat down with a past private coaching client of mine who used to hyper-focus on all the ways her partner could be better. She’s not 100% “fixed” (and that no longer is her goal), bu...
Feb 27, 2024•1 hr 5 min
If our sex life doesn’t match the steamy scenes from the movies, it can bring up a lot of anxiety: “am I with the right partner sexually?” “are we having enough sex?” “is our sex passionate enough?” etc. And the ironic part is that all the pressure we place on ourselves and our sex life to be amazing can create the opposite outcome—feeling distracted and disconnected. In this episode what I wish I learned about sex earlier (so I’d have lower sex-pectations) and how to show up intentionally when ...
Feb 20, 2024•1 hr 21 min
In this episode, I talk with Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT, about 5 relationship rules that changed her life. She’s been married for 20 years and has so much wisdom to share. Here’s a sneak peek at the 5 life-changing relationship rules: 1. It is not your job or my job to manage our family’s emotions. 2. It is not your job to please the people you are in a relationship with. 3. They are allowed to have their feelings about our choices. 4. It is okay if they struggle to understand us. 5. You get to (an...
Feb 13, 2024•50 min
“Do I stay or go?” “How do I know if a relationship is worth saving?” These are not-so-simple questions to answer, and can cause a lot of discomfort because of the uncertainty they drum up. In this episode, I explore three ways to reflect on these questions (not to get 100% certainty, but to get curious about how you think and feel); Are you looking for permission to stay or go? Are you willing to accept the consequences that come from the decision? What parts of you are looking to stay, and wha...
Feb 06, 2024•38 min
Have you ever wondered if you and your partner are too different? Too many personality clashes? “How will this ever work?” In today’s episode I explore why personality differences can feel so threatening and challenging, some reframes about personality differences to help you see them in a new light, and give strategies to navigate personality differences with more acceptance. In the episode I mention my “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar, which you can get here: https://www.youloveandy...
Jan 30, 2024•42 min
Long distance relationships can be very challenging, especially if you’re getting pressure from external sources. “When are you going to be living together?” “Are you sure you’re not wasting your time?” “You should only do long distance if you have an end-date in sight” In this conversation I talk to Hannah Frewin of @healingwithhan__ about the ups and downs of long distance and how she went from being anxious and doubtful about her relationship and partner to feeling fulfilled within herself an...
Jan 23, 2024•48 min
Have you ever been jealous (or extremely jealous) of your partner’s past? Perhaps you’ve ruminated on their ex’s, asked them questions about their past, or felt like you can’t compare to people they’ve dated or been with intimately. This experience is a little something called retroactive jealousy (RJ), and I’m excited to bring on Eva Thompson who helps people overcome retroactive jealousy and get rid of intrusive thoughts and mental movies about their partners past. In this episode we talk abou...
Jan 16, 2024•48 min
Do you tend to compare your relationship to others a lot? Does it make you feel like your relationship isn’t up to par? I’m right there with ya—comparison is something I’ve had a hard time with for most of my life. AND, it’s also something I’ve really worked on in the last few years and I’ve been able to see improvements in. In this episode I dive into why comparison happens, what type of person is most likely to compare, the types of comparisons that can come up, how to change our relationship ...
Jan 09, 2024•39 min
In this episode, I sit down with Robert James, an OCD & anxiety coach who having spent years struggling with OCD, finally learned to overcome & now helps others to do the same. We talked all about what it means to “lean into discomfort” in our journey to navigate relationship OCD and relationship anxiety (or general OCD and anxiety). Relationships bring up uncomfortable emotions at times, and if we shy away from them or react to them every time—we will be in for a bumpy ride. Robert shar...
Jan 02, 2024•1 hr 2 min
Do you ever worry that other people will discover that your relationship isn’t as shiny and perfect as they think it is? Or that you’ll somehow be exposed for experiencing relationship anxiety? In this episode I’m responding to a You Love and You Learn community submission where someone shared they have a fear that “even though I am confident and content with my partner and relationship, someone else may see through it and call us out on our ‘bluff’ - that we are incompatible, not right, etc. No...
Dec 26, 2023•39 min
In this episode I got to sit down with Amanda Armstrong who is a neuroscience and trauma-informed anxiety & depression coach. Amanda helped share more about how to understand our and our partner’s default survival responses, which play a HUGE role in how we show up in our relationships. We talked about: what a default survival response is and how it affects our life how our default survival responses are formed understanding our partner’s default survival response how the different survival ...
Dec 19, 2023•1 hr 5 min
One of the most challenging things to practice in relationships (and life) is releasing control of things that are not in our control. And one thing that is most definitely not in our control is our partner (or any other human), though there are many times where we end up unintentionally trying to control them. This may not be intentional, but it’s something that can wear down a relationship if we are not mindful. In this episode, I bring back Natalie Kennedy of @anxiouslovecoach to discuss: Her...
Dec 12, 2023•1 hr
In this solo episode I’m sharing 7 reflections that have come up (or revisited my consciousness) over the last few months since moving home from Sweden with Nate. This is me pulling the curtain back and sharing some behind-the-scenes of how my life and relationship have looked in this transitional time. My hope is it helps you feel less alone as you navigate the inevitable ebbs and flows of your relationship. If you’ve been enjoying the podcast, I’d greatly appreciate you leaving a 5-star rating...
Dec 05, 2023•46 min
Should you tell your partner about your relationship anxiety? If so, how? I’m often asked questions like: "How much should you disclose about your relationship anxiety to your partner to avoid making them feel bad or scared?" Today I’m answering that question and telling you: 3 things to consider before going to your partner about your anxiety 3 things to consider if you do decide to have a conversation about your anxiety A script you can use when you tell your partner (if you decide to) What to...
Nov 28, 2023•32 min
In this week’s episode I got to sit down with a married couple who each experienced their own versions of relationship anxiety and are now married for 4+ years. Joy is a licensed marriage and family therapist/relationship coach, and Mathieu is a relationship coach, and i n this conversation we address a common question in the relationship anxiety space - the question of “Is God/The Universe giving me signs about my relationship?” We cover: Joy and Mathieu’s relationship anxiety stories and exper...
Nov 21, 2023•54 min
I sat down with Mallory, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and 1/2 of @makemarriagework to talk about what it takes to make a relationship work. We cover: What skills are helpful to resolve conflicts Is conflict in a relationship bad? How do we shift our perspective of it? What repairing disagreements looks like in real-time What it means to stay emotionally in-tune with our partners Tips for people to strengthen their relationship …and more! — For more of Mallory’s work: Instagram: htt...
Nov 14, 2023•45 min
Very grateful to bring you another conversation with a private coaching client of mine, Christine. These conversations are so important for me because I want to peel back the curtain of others who experience relationship anxiety/ROCD to show you that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to suffer for the rest of your life, Here’s what we talk about in this episode: Christine’s journey with relationship OCD and what themes popped up for her most frequently The fear that not doing compulsions ...
Nov 07, 2023•51 min
Welcome back for part 2 of this 2-part series on perfectionism in our relationships. Be sure to check out episode #42 before diving into this one! In this episode I share 7 ways to reduce perfectionism in our relationships. Sneak peek: Notice when perfectionism shows up in your relationship and life and what the effects are Come up with a meaningful “why” to grow or change Practice self-compassion and compassion for others Cultivate new, helpful beliefs that poke holes in perfectionism Stop comp...
Oct 31, 2023•35 min
Do you often feel disappointed in your relationship (or life) when things don’t go how you expect they will? Do you have very specific ideas of how your relationship (and life) “should” feel or look, and worry that anything different means it’s “wrong?” In this episode I share what perfectionism and Perfect Moment Syndrome (coined by author Sarah Wilson) are and how they affect our relationships. I also explore how expectations affect how happy or unhappy we are in our relationships. If this is ...
Oct 24, 2023•33 min
I’m SO excited to bring you this conversation with Alexis, a past private coaching client. We worked together almost 3 years ago, and yet Alexis continues to use tools and practices from our work to this day. Learning to show up in your relationship in a more grounded way is possible, and I wanted you to hear from someone who’s experienced relationship anxiety and learned how to navigate it in a much more helpful way. Here’s what we cover in this episode: Alexis’ relationship story and what led ...
Oct 17, 2023•40 min
In this special guest interview episode, I join actor and YouTube host Kate Easton for a conversation about relationship anxiety. She interviews me and we talk about: How to set boundaries with our partner if they’re showing up in a way that makes us uncomfortable on social media Reminders about comparing our relationship to someone else’s on social media How much should we share about past relationships to current partners How to not let our past relationship patterns affect our current relatio...
Oct 10, 2023•38 min
Have you ever thought about an ex while in your healthy relationship? (maybe even an ex you’d been in an unhealthy relationship with?) In today’s episode, I sit down with Lindsay O’Brien, a Dating Coach, Breakup Mentor, and Energy Healer who went through her own journey from divorce and narcissistic abuse to appreciating healthy, stable love. We discuss how to take our ex’s off the pedestal to be more present and appreciative of the person in front of us. Join October’s cohort of Beyond the Doub...
Oct 03, 2023•45 min
In this episode I answer a question from a You Love and You Learn community member: “you’ve mentioned something along the lines of ‘choosing to be all in and not one foot in, one foot out’ - I find myself feeling one foot out but I’m not sure what to do to feel two feet in. What does it mean to be two feet in? I say it in my head but then I’m not sure I’m choosing so in my actions.” Join October’s cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching here ! (enrollment closes October 13th and spaces are li...
Sep 26, 2023•28 min
Have you ever questioned if your relationship is healthy or healthy “enough”? In this conversation with Dr. Molly Burrets we explore: what it means to be in a healthy relationship how to parse out what advice to listen to online when it comes to healthy relationships — we hear so much “this is healthy” or “this is not healthy” — how do we decide? normal things in a relationship that get labeled as unhealthy a tool to help you determine if something in your relationship should be addressed or not...
Sep 19, 2023•48 min
Strengthening communication, navigating conflict, and deepening connection are 3 important pillars of a healthy relationship. I got the chance to chat with Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman of @meetthefreemans to explore these 3 pillars. In this episode we cover: how Jocelyn and Arron’s different upbringings, communication styles, and ways they responded to emotion affected their relationship how to strengthen communication in your relationship how often you should have relationship ‘check-ins’ how to “...
Sep 12, 2023•39 min
