So when that new momentum, that newness comes, that change of seasoned feeling that we get, when we get inspired, you have to ride that wave and make it the best wave of your life. They will take you somewhere. Don't write the little wave. Don't let it come, crashing down, ride the wave of that momentum. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of self-mastery with Maria. I am so grateful that you are here. If this is your first episode or your fifth episode or your 10th episode. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. You guys mean. The world to me, just being able to come on here and talk and share not only my experiences, but also share with you guys different guests that come on here and speak about things that I'm very passionate about. And I believe are life changing things. And that is why I wanted to sit down and make this episode because I feel like there's been so many up levels in my life and it's taken a different me every single time.
At a different version of myself every single time. And I think that's what growth true growth requires both. So many times we get so comfortable. And when we want change, when we want to shift things, when we want more. Our brains go into automatic fear and fear stops us a lot of the time. And I've talked about fear on here before. And I really don't want to sit here and talk about fear because that's something that constantly comes into our brains and it's something that is natural.
And it's how we react to it, but I more so wanted to sit here and talk to you guys about what to do with that newness, that energy that we all feel because there's a point in our lives. And it's a lot of the times it's that during the new year, right? It's that fresh breeze, the new opportunities, the new start, the fresh start. We feel like we have a blank slate that we can start. And do something with, and so we have this momentum going. This large wave that we want to ride.
And then somehow that wave sometimes come to CRA comes, crashing down, or it's a little wave. Or I believe you can make it a huge wave. And you can make it the biggest wave of your life, but you have to choose that discomfort over anything. And it's something I'm going through in life right now. So I thought it was very fit.
I love to talk to you guys about anything new that I'm going through or that I'm challenged with, because I truly believe that in stories of others, we all can relate and grow as well. And I wouldn't be who I am today. If it wasn't for mentors and coaches and therapists and anyone that's helped me in my journey. So. Let me give you a little background on what it is that I'm talking about in this fresh start in this newness.
When I moved to Orlando last year, I said to myself, this year is going to be this year being 2023 is going to be the year. That I have it all, everything had been playing small. Everything that I've been saying I want, and I haven't gone for it because of fear or because I didn't feel worthy. Because I felt like maybe it wasn't the right time or who am I, you know, we've all had those thoughts.
Who even am I to want this one thing or multiple things I decided, and I put it on paper and I remember journaling about it and I sat down. And I wrote what my life would look like in the next five years, and especially specifically this year and what I wanted to accomplish. I did it as it already happened. I wrote it as I already have these things. And I tapped into that energy of what it would feel like.
And of course there was some controlling parts of me that wrote timelines on when and how things were going to play out. And some things have played out perfectly how, the way I wanted them to, and some have not because that's, you know, you make plans and God laughs right. That's. The universe, God, whatever it is that you believe in has a bigger, higher purpose for you. And they put a desire and want in your heart for a reason in your thoughts and in your minds. And it's up to you to.
Put the effort in to actually going and doing it. It's up to you to actually work towards it. But it's in divine timing that the best things in life come, and it's never usually in the timeline that we want them to be. And that is a beauty of it. And part of my journey lately has been just releasing that control in that. Almost like choke hold that I had for my dreams and my aspirations and my wants and my needs. Because I realized that I want something it's already, it's done.
It's already there. It's coming. I have to take a line action towards them. I can't just sit back and hope that maybe one day I'll get it. I have to definitely take action towards it. But it's this like faith and trust and knowing that it's already happening and it's already going to happen. And I don't believe it's a coincidence that my spirituality, my connection to God lately has been at around the same time. All this has happened, because I truly believe that there is magic in faith.
And when you believe in something bigger and greater than you, you get to believe in yourself a little harder and a little more every single day. So going back part of my journey this year and what I wanted to make sure that I did this year was I wanted to launch my podcast, which I did. I wanted to have great people on my podcast, which I've been able to do. I wanted to this wasn't part of my year.
This wasn't part of my plan this year, but I did want to find a love, a romance that felt amazing. That felt connected. That felt freeing. That saw me for who I truly am and all these things. And I found him and he came my, my boyfriend now, he came at the time that I wasn't expecting him to, and actually had two. Say I can't right now, this isn't the time for me and focus on myself because focusing on myself as a huge goal for me, If not the, the main goal this whole year.
I also wanted more money. That was a big one. For me. Income was a big goal of mine this year was to make more money and do better things. And if you guys, you probably don't know because I've never really talked about it on here. I work in insurance has been my day job for the last six to seven years and I do sales and it's, you know, sales can be volatile sometimes, but I knew that I had to get uncomfortable this year. This was going to be my year of getting uncomfortable in.
In order to grow and to succeed. And so you take leaps, you take risks, you take that energy and you ride those waves. And what I mean by that is when we get these sparks of energy, sometimes they can come from the smallest things and come from getting a new haircut or a new shirt or a new necklace or rearranging your room, that spark of energy. I know we've all felt it.
You get that freshness, those seasons changing sometimes it's something minuscule and sometimes it's something huge that gives you this breath of fresh air. And that is where I want you to realize that the biggest momentum and biggest shifts in your life come from that is where you have to really push forward what it is that you want, because that is connected and divine energy. That newness, that excitement in your heart. Is what creates magic in your world.
And it's, what's going to make your dreams a reality. So. With that being said, though, what happens? Right? Does this happens to all of us at the beginning of the year, we feel this momentum. We feel this excitement. And then February, March, sometimes April. Sometimes we make it, you know, a few months. Maybe it's a little longer. Something happens and we don't go after a goal. We don't go after a wants and needs. So we stop or we lose track. Life happens, you know, Anxiety happens.
The stresses of the world happens. All these different things happen. And those are exterior reasons why we stop, but I want to talk about, and this is the juice, and this is the guts of this whole episode is what happens internally because I've been dissecting this. And breaking it apart here recently, because like I said, it's what I'm going through. And when you are going through a growth phase, because this is what you asked for. Self-sabotage is going to come in.
Self-doubt is going to come in. Your you're going to doubt your worthiness. Your fears are going to kick in your old toxic patterns and cycles are going to kick in. I guarantee you, if you've ever fallen off any goal, if you felt like you were kind of close, but then something happened. And you've have found yourself blaming your exterior worlds. That had a part in it, but it was your interior world, your mind, and the way your subconscious is wired, that did.
The actions, or I should say the lack thereof of actions towards the next level. You. All right. So let's dig deep into that. Self-sabotage why do we self-sabotage I have been the queen of self-sabotage in the past, and I didn't even realize I was doing it. It was on such a subconscious level.
If there's parts of you that feels unworthy of the thing you really want, when it comes close to you, when you're at arms length from it, you will self-sabotage and you won't even notice, and you will find. An exterior reason of why did not happen, and you will become a victim of your life and a victim of your consequences instead of owning up to it. And I'm going to tell you how the self worthiness kind of creeps in and we don't even notice.
Like I said earlier in the episode, when we all fear and we fear so many things, I said in another episode, or maybe it was, I was live on Instagram that we have 60,000 thoughts a day, 60,000 of them. And 80% of them are negative. So for people that have been doing the work that had been trying to rewire this thinking. It could be a lot less, but they're still faced with negative thoughts.
So the moment you go and you do something uncomfortable, your brain signals your subconscious to be fearful of it. And to not go towards that goal or not go towards that thing that you really want because you can fail because you've never been there before. You don't know what it looks like. There's so many different reasons. And when we don't feel worthy enough to have the actual material thing that we're wanting, whether or. When I say material, I don't mean an actual object.
I mean, The goal being materialized. Like if you want a long lasting, loving relationship. When it becomes close to you, you will start over analyzing your brain will become your worst enemy at that point. And. You will, self-sabotage in ways that are so subtle. And that could be, let's say that you find a romance that you like. I'll give you an example about this relationship that I'm in.
At the beginning, I felt a lot of fear and I kept him at arms length at the beginning because I was like, I don't know. I cannot be in a relationship right now. This is not like I said, it wasn't part of my timeline this year is not what I expected. And I, I knew that I was being pulled to him and I knew that I wanted subconsciously. I know that that's something, you know, I have already written it down. It love is so important to me. And it's a real healthy relationship.
It's definitely so important to me, but I did not want it right then and there. And I was so afraid, so afraid of losing myself in the relationship. And so that was the initial one. Right? So fear kicked in. I recognized, I said thank you fear, but no, thank you. If you listen to some of my stuff about fear, I befriend fear. I try to see it and analyze it as an outsider and not let it take over my life. So then I think to fear and then I won, I went into. Well, what am I missing here?
My whole brain went. There's been so many times that in this relationship I have. Thought of every worst case scenario of maybe red flags. And I hate the word red flags. If you've listened to any of my relationship stuff, I don't like the concept of red flags. But what red flags am I missing? What am I not seeing? What if you know, a year from now, he's a completely different person. What have I break? We break up. What if I go on social media and talk about him?
And then, um, I look like an idiot because now I've shared this love and now it's gone away. I've. I have. Tried to self-sabotage this and so many ways. And I've caught myself every single time. And I've said, no. Because once you start really analyzing your thoughts instead of giving into them, you realize that you are just a spectator of them. You don't have to give into these.
And you become very powerful in the sense that you are okay with the outcome of anything that you do because when intuition and discernment are connected, And R one, you can go into anything saying this feels right. And if it works out great, and if it doesn't work out great. Every single decision that I've made so far this year, that's how I've tried to live my life Will I be okay if I do this right? Or will I not? And of course I will be.
Most of the things that we're afraid of, we will be fine if it goes to hell. If it goes to shit. If it, if you, you know, you go after that goal and you fail everything that we are afraid of. On the other side, we will be okay. But on a deeper level so now, you know, you recognize the fear. You. I analyze it. There's this new version of you. Now you have the thing that you want, but you're going to try to self sabotage it.
But now in the deep rooted feeling of why I'm trying to sabotage this is because. There's been so many times in this relationship that I have felt so calm, so loved, so understood. So cared for. I have felt things that I've never felt before. And there's been parts of me that thinks am I worthy of this? Do I deserve this? Do. Do I deserve this type of love. Do I really deserve this? I've had to question it. And when those thoughts come up, that is worthiness.
So at the very deep core, Of who you are once you get the thing that you've been wanting, always, you will question your worth or once you're getting close to it, you're going to question your worth and you're going to try to self-sabotage. What I realized is it's that main thing is recognizing the fear and not let it overtake you. Not let it overpower you. And then figure out where you're, self-sabotaging, where you're overthinking, where you're over analyzing.
And then ask yourself where you don't feel worthy of something. And on an emotional level, I've never been loved like this by anyone except for myself. And that was just as of recently within the last two to three years where I really dug deep and I had to actually. On on hate myself in so many ways and really learn to love myself. I wouldn't say until like the last year and a half that I can honestly say that I'm I love myself more than anyone can ever love me.
But I've never had that type of love. Or connection with somebody. So of course I'm going to feel unworthy of it. Right. And I can relate this to anything. And the only reason I'm showing my relationship as an example is because that's like one thing that I've been working through and I could put, I could relate it to all related to my new job. I switched jobs. I went from personal lines, insurance to commercial lines, insurance.
And that's a whole different ballpark and I'm making more money and I'm so uncomfortable in so many ways. I've had to learn so many different things. And part of me has tried when I feel overwhelmed now, because it is new I've now I'm like I try to self-sabotage myself. In other ways, I'll go stress, eat, or. I'll have like anxiety to where I have so many things going on that I'm like, well, I'm not going to do that one thing now. And I'm like, no. The one thing, the moneymaking action.
That's what I need to be doing and taking, I can go take a breather if I want, but I'm not going to self-sabotage my income here. And again, I've had to tap. If you've listened to my stuff, I EFT tapping. So emotional freedom techniques. I've had to tap through the fear of unworthiness, even on an income and financial level, because I'm hitting. New Heights in my income as well that I've never hit before. And there's a part of me that thinks am I worthy of that? Do I deserve that much money?
Of course I do. Of course you do. Of course, we all do. But if you've never had that before, if you grew up in scarcity, I grew up with a mom and family members that believe to their core that you have to pinch pennies. And that enough is enough. Like just having just enough is enough and all these different things. So when that is ingrained in you, so if you've been ingrained to think that you're not worthy of love because you've never received it.
If you think that you're not worthy of money because you've never really had it. If you don't think that you're worthy of being skinny or feeling good about your body, because you've never had that. All these things, the moment you start shifting, and the end that new energy kind of starts to wear off, you're going to self-sabotage. You're going to go back to the programming. That you've had for years.
So in order to create this new version of yourself, you have to break up with the old programming completely and recognize and say, thanks, but no, thanks. This has gotten me this far, but I will not continue. To live my life like this. So when that new momentum, that newness comes, that change of seasoned feeling that we get, when we get inspired, you have to ride that wave and make it the best wave of your life. They will take you somewhere. Don't write the little wave.
Don't let it come, crashing down, ride the wave of that momentum. And that's all I have for you guys right now. I will continue to come on here and speak about these things, but push yourself whenever you're feeling the fear, push yourself. Whenever you feel like, wait, I. I've seen this before. I've done this before. I've been here before. Why am I doing this again? And interrupt that cycle. Interrupt that mentality. Interrupt those little thoughts. Because you are not your thoughts.
And create massive momentum in your life because you are worthy and you deserve it. And this will Uplevel you to a whole different energy and. W up-level you to hold you for life, the life that you truly want. The life that you've already talked to God about the life that you've already talked to the universe about whoever it is that you've already put it out there too.
And if you haven't done that yet, I would consider writing it down, journaling it down, really getting clear and concise to what it is that you want because the universe listening, your thoughts are there as much as they listen to the negative thoughts. And they're going to listen to the positive thoughts as well. So you are the master of your life. That's why I created this podcast to remind you of that as many times as I can. So again, thank you. My beautiful souls.
If you've enjoyed this episode, or if you've enjoyed any of the other episodes that I've ever created. I would appreciate it. If you leave me a review, it really helps the algorithm for more people to find it. And also please share this episode. I want to touch and change as many lives as I possibly can. And I would love to help anyone that, you know, as well and connect with me on Instagram. DM may have you listened to an episode? I love getting those dams.
I love reaching people and I love connecting with you all. So thank you again. And I will talk to you guys next week.