Talk on sensuality + Embracing ALL of you!

Hey guys. Welcome to this week's episode. As you can tell by the title, we will be talking about our

sexuality and.

More focused

on how we're able to embrace that nowadays because everything is so sexual,

like Sex is just

everywhere. But somehow some way as women, we still feel uncomfortable being sexy. Not all of us. Some women have embraced

it beautifully.

But I'm here because

it's something that I've struggled with and it's something I know a

lot of my friends have

struggled with.

And

I see social media being

such a crucial

place where we could either

embrace ourselves.

In those

platforms, or we can just be

shunned or

deemed certain

ways or labels or certain

things. And I've been wanting to do this episode for a long time. Honestly,

I just didn't have

a specific way to approach this

or what I wanted to talk about. So

I wanna actually just sit here and

have like a girlfriend conversation

because I know

this is something that we've all struggled with in some way,

shape or form. Even the women that have embraced their sexuality and

their

sensuality, we've all questioned it because, I

realized that as little girls, most of us are told

the

opposite of everything that we wanna become as women, right? So

we're always told as little girls like, don't wear that. Don't provoke men. Don't sit on men's laps. Don't do this,

don't do that. Like, be a good

little girl. Make sure you're being proper.

Make sure

that you know. Somebody doesn't touch

you a certain way or look at you a certain way. And if you're sleeping at that friend's house,

make sure that their

brother stays

in the other room.

Like all these

things, we're

constantly being told

as little girls, that

we need to watch out for the opposite sex and we cannot

be too much of

anything

because that's gonna provoke the

opposite sex and it's

gonna be our responsibility and our fault. So how do we go from that to. Damn. I just wanted to be sexy,

sensual, owning my power, letting

people and men know what I want in

bed. Letting men know exactly

what it is

I

need, letting them

know they didn't satisfy me, or, Hey,

you

know what? You

did a good job. You hit a home run. How do we go from one extreme to the

other? That

is so hard

for most

of us to grasp.

It's something I'm still learning myself,

because to be honest,

I lost my virginity at

19

and I was

married for a long time and before that I was single and I did, you know, sleep around a little

bit and I had my fun, but I didn't really know what it was to own

my sensuality

and my sexuality.

You tell

somebody what? I want

to

explore the things

that I like

to masturbate, to watch

porn to. Whatever all

those things are like

that is out there.

I felt

ashamed. I felt guilty. I

felt like I shouldn't be

doing this. This is weird. Um, even

masturbation, if I'm being completely honest, that was always very uncomfortable for me because I,

I didn't really wanna touch myself down there. I didn't wanna like, Be intimate with myself. I, I felt uncomfortable. I

felt weird.

I felt ashamed that I

wanted to, I didn't even know where to start for a

long time, I was like, where do I even go with this? I

don't even know. Like,

honestly, I will give my

ex all

the props in the

world. He totally helped me get

so much more in touch with myself by giving me a

Spl, a safe space

sexually

to explore different things that I like. And thanks to him, I've been able to open myself up in that way. And also tapping into my feminine energy and letting things flow and being okay with

being central, being sexy, like really admiring my body,

really respecting my body and feeling

comfortable.

So another reason I wanted to do

this episode recently

is because,

I've been in a great

space creating wise, like being a creator to

me is

everything. I feel so inspired and I

feel on track. I feel in a good groove. So I just create and I post

things and

the other

day I posted something

on Instagram. It was a

picture of me

and my pajamas. I

was literally,

I just felt like really good about myself that morning. And

I, I was stretching and I got

on my phone real quick

and I was like, wow, the lighting's just hitting me perfect here in

front of

the mirror.

Let me just take a quick

picture and I

I did a few poses and I liked this one specific one and it

did show a little

bit of my

under boob and I questioned posting that picture for a split second.

Old Maria would've posted

cause she was a lot more in her sensuality.

But now being

in a space

where I'm

creating. Very specific niche

down content about helping people, helping

master their lives. I did question it for

a

second because I've

been wanting to show up in a way that's

respectable and people are gonna take me serious. And I thought that my older content,

um, there was a little more sexy and

more risque, got a lot of male attention, and didn't get the attention in the

audience that I was

looking for. And the reason I only

question it now for a split second is because

that is

part of self mastery. That is part of me owning myself, owning what I want. I liked the picture. I

felt good about it,

and plus, I

connected it to a

beautiful caption, a beautiful message,

because it's what came through to me, and so I posted it.

So I want to remind

you that if you're feeling a certain way about yourself,

you feel good about yourself,

if you feel sexy, if you feel aligned, if you feel

like that's something that you wanna post or something you wanna wear, something you wanna try and better, something that you wanna try with

yourself, I would say give yourself the opportunity and the space to do that. Cuz I think that's

it all starts changing.

I feel like that's where we bridge that gap of where's that middle ground? Where's that gray area of I

can be sexy and sensual and wear whatever I want, and I'm not responsible for provoking the opposite sex or having them think a certain thing

because I posted something.

You're not

responsible for other people's thoughts or opinions or feelings, as

long as you're completely aligned with what feels good to you and you're completely

aligned to what you're posting and you're not doing it for the wrong

reasons. There are a lot of women that post things because they do want

the male attention or they're looking for something and there's nothing wrong with that.

If that's what you wanna do, if

you wanna make your ex

jealous,

if you want

whatever it is that's on your mind when

you're posting, that's okay as well too. That's where you're at

in your journey, but

I would say, That when you're posting

things, especially

in

a such, in like a sexual essential container, if you're

not really aligned to why it is that you're posting that and there's not a very

personal reason

if you're doing it to attract other

things, that

other thing comes with a lot of other things, to be

honest with you,

because when I was

posting. Just random things

and sensual things,

and sometimes it

was cause

I

just felt good and sometimes I'm like, oh, I

think this video's

gonna get attention. To

be honest, this reel's gonna just be really good. Let me post it. I did get a lot of male attention and a lot of

attention that I honestly, truly does, doesn't feel aligned. It did not feel good, and that's

where I kind of was like, okay, where's this

new space? I can be sexy. I can be myself. I can own my

power, I

can

own my sensuality.

But I don't wanna

do it to get more views,

to get more followers, to get people to respond

to me. Because at the

end of the day, that doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel, it doesn't fulfill me

in any way. It doesn't fill any voids. It just leaves me with a crab

shoot of weird people on social media that are tapping into my energy and

it's

not something that I really

want them to,

to be tapping into. And then you start feeling like,

Icky about things, you start feeling gross about what you

posted because then there's all these different

male and men and people

coming into your life and you're like, well, what is happening? Um, so just a little sidetrack

on that, but on social media specifically.

Just be really purposeful of what you

post and why you're doing it. Be purposeful and

intentional with why you're posting things,

because I think that's been

the biggest difference

for me

lately. And

I'm just really embracing this feels

good, this feels right, I'm gonna

post it. And

if it doesn't, it doesn't.

But just being, just being

aligned with yourself in that sense. And I think the same goes for you

sexually when you're in

the bedroom, when you're with

partner, when you're with

multiple partners or whatever it

is that your sex life looks like now is being really. Open and honest with yourself

and being, being in a

way vulnerable and like just being

okay with

whatever the outcome

is. I remember a lot of the times with me and my ex, I

would just, I would be a little worried about like saying I liked something

or I didn't like something,

or sometimes

I felt like I had to like, you know, do

more

because

that's what

he liked or that's what he wanted, and. We had great

conversations. We had great communication.

I was even able to verbalize

these things to him, which made a big difference. But ask yourself, how many times do you do that? How many times

do you go outta your way, whether it's

for your partner to

look

sexy, to try initiate sex, to, you know, if you feel like things are getting stagnant, you're the one putting in the effort.

You're the the only one putting in all this time, all this energy. And then it feels one-sided

and then it feels

icky and gross

as well. Like that doesn't

feel good. Or the opposite. You don't even

try. You just like wear a big T-shirt. You don't even try to be sexy.

You're kind of scared of even

wearing lingerie because you don't even know how he's gonna

react. He hasn't really

been like that into you

for a few months now. It's been a

couple years, five, six years

So

you've been

together. Things are getting a little stagnant. Again, finding your balance, what feels good to you, but I don't think that

that starts until you really start getting deep within yourself and getting to

know yourself. I think that's what's changed for me a lot as

well,

is you have

to get to know

yourself, what you truly like outside of a relationship, outside of your peers, your friend,

social media, and getting truly

aligned with that

and I think that will give you peace of

mind because now you're not

forcing things. You're not doing things for somebody else or because

you think you should or because it's been a while or because you know, let me go please them because now

he's gonna go

it somewhere else. Or all these stories. Cuz

I know as women we make up all

these stories in our heads

that

we have to

to be the ones doing. We have to be the ones constantly going and going and going. When you find alignment with yourself, you feel more confident, and men realize this, men

feel this, men know

this. Trust

me, I remember I dated somebody that told me that it doesn't even matter what the

girl looks like.

She could be the biggest girl, the Curt girl, the

skinniest girl, whatever. She carries herself with confidence. He's

like, that's all men really want.

And sometimes we lose

that because we put all our power

and

all our confidence onto

somebody else or what social media thinks of us. Or if

we, we

don't have the perfect

bodies, then we

don't feel like we're good enough or I need to go to the gym because

if I'm not skinny enough, my man's gonna leave me. Or he's gonna think I'm fat or he's gonna look

for something somewhere

else.

That is, that is lack mentality. That is,

I'm not owning

my own power. I'm not owning my own sexuality, my own sensuality, my own

confidence. No one can take from you

what is meant for you. So when we do things out of

lack,

we are just going against our own

energy and we're going against our own

rhythms, and then we're going further and further away

from who we are authentically and

what

we actually want. So getting really honest with yourself, what is it that you want? What

is it that you want? How do you wanna feel?

How do you wanna look and

go into it with.

That energy, and

I promise

you, the confidence in your relationship or with guys that you're

dating

or whoever, they're gonna be like slobbering all over

you

because they're going to feel that energy shift.

They're gonna see that you're confident.

Not because

you had to lose weight first to be confident, not because you needed to go dot your hair to be

confident, not because you

needed that spray tan before you can wear that lingerie

or

any of that, but because you

truly own who you are. And I

think again, that's where we

start, you know, bridging that gap. Because we can't go from one extreme to the next. And I think that's why we go from one extreme to the next because we were told, like I said earlier, like

little girls, we were told, don't do this, don't do that, or you're gonna provoke men. And then later on we're like, well, how do I

feel sexy and validated if I was never

taught to do it for

myself? Because if

any, if anything, I was my

sexuality

and sexuality was just

shunned. So how

do I do this for

myself? I have no idea where to even start. Oh wait,

let me go get it from the opposite sex.

I was told not

to the whole, the whole time when I was

a young girl, but now that

I'm older, now that

can, that I

can have sex and that I can be sens

and that I can be sexual,

let me just go out to the world

and get my validation from

men

that's gonna feel good. That's gonna

feel better

because we

don't even know where to start to give that to ourselves.

We don't even know where to begin.

And I feel like that's the

conversation that we need to be having more and that's the conversations we should have been having in

our teenage

years. Somebody

should have been

talking

to us about these things, but instead we feel ashamed. I remember

like especially

around middle school, at least for me growing up in

Miami, most of my girlfriends and friends had

already like lost our virginity and it's like the

weirdest time of our

lives, right? Our middle school years are so

awkward. Our. Faces are changing, acne's showing up. Our hormones are going

crazy, our boobs are

changing, our

thighs are changing. Like we

feel almost uncomfortable

in our bodies. We're getting like, like stretched out and like molded into these different

people, into our adult lives.

And at that

time, people were having sex.

But to me

it was wild that people were

having sex

in

middle school because I felt so uncomfortable with my body. Like even looking at it myself that I was like,

there's no way that I

can show other people in my body right now. I even felt uncomfortable changing around girlfriends or doing

any of

that. And again, the talk isn't there. And I'm sure for

the friends of mine

that did have sex

young, there was no

talk. And

hey, this is

what you should do to feel

satisfied.

is what you

should allow and shouldn't allow. There's no

man that

should just come and impose themselves on you or their, their needs shouldn't come first. Your

needs are just as important. All these talks and topics. Instead, we just kind of like shut ourselves

up and let

things happen.

And,

and I

don't mean

like in a

rapey type of way,

like, I mean something that

does happen to a lot of women as well, because

we are not taught like,

hey, that's. That's not okay if, if

you say no, then that's not

okay. This wasn't a regular conversation for me growing up in my generation. I'm hoping

that now their

generations growing up,

different for them. But I know for a fact that during my time,

and I know, and it sounded a

little old, but during my time, it was definitely not a

conversation that

was had. And so we had to just kind of like

it out ourselves. And I took a lot of lessons from girlfriends

and people that

did have sex early

just I figured out, okay, like this is

what

I want, this is what I don't want. And part of the reason I was a late

bloomer and,

and lost my virginity in 19

cuz I was so afraid of being called a whore, or the

person that I was with to talk about

in

high

I

remember the craziest stories in

school of men just,

or not men, boys at that time. You know, no one's

a man at.

Before 18 before,

I mean, really

aren't

even growing up until like their late thirties, early forties, but whatever. That's a whole other topic.

I remember those high school

boys being so explicit about

their sex lives with

whatever girl they were sleeping with and like really

dirty and gross and just nasty about what they would talk about with their friends or with other people. And

I never

wanted to be seen in that light. So I waited

forever.

I lost it to like my high school boyfriend, but we were together for

like two years before we even had

sex because

I was

so terrified to like

even go there. And even what we

did, like it was just. Awkward and weird,

and it wasn't great.

And

I knew no better because

I was with him for another three years after that. And it wasn't until I completely, like, I left

that relationship and had

My years of just freedom and just honestly just

doing whatever I wanted and sleeping around with different

people that I started being like, okay, now I can kind of see and tell

what I like

and what I don't like.

But even then, especially my twenties, there were so

many things that I kind of just went

with the flow on what I thought I wanted

because I had no

idea and I

let things happen that I probably shouldn't have.

Like there was times that I wanted sex to end and

I just didn't say anything cuz I

was like, well that's

just rude of me. I should just lay here and

take this because

I mean, I, I just, cuz I don't want

to, doesn't mean

that he doesn't want to. I

should just,

no. Like all these

things that we've done and I know

I'm not the only one. Cause

I've had these conversations

with some girlfriends. That we do

because we don't

know any better because

we're not able

to fully

embrace our sensuality and our sexuality.

And to me that

is crazy. So

I hope that this episode, and I hope just talking about

this, just gets your juices flowing because

this episode's

even therapeutic for me because just talking

about this helps us

navigate

this gray area. Of where

we wanna stand

in our sensuality and

our sexuality and owning our power, owning

our

bodies, our feminine energy. Because

at the end of the day, the goddess energy, the feminine, all of this

is

essential. It's, it's all about sexual power and sensu power and really

owning that. And I'm gonna

do more research and look up,

and I hope I can have a guest on here that is, Very

well versed

in this topic because I do wanna have

somebody here talking about

this for my listeners. But for now, just get

really

specific about what you want. I would say find

what works for you and be unapologetic as

fuck about it,

because that's where I'm

gonna be from now on. That's how I'm gonna feel, and that's how I'm gonna

act from

now on.

And if you feel like posting something because

it feels good for you, because

you like it,

Go for

it. If

you

wanna wear

something because it feels good for you and you like it, go for it.

What people's opinions of you are, it really doesn't matter. And

what they think, it

really doesn't matter. It's at the

end of the day, if you don't feel good about

yourself and if you don't feel good about your actions, about your

thoughts, about your presence, and how you show up and how you feel about yourself, that nothing else matters

at the end of the day, because if you don't do things that feel good and flow well with

you. Then what ends

up happening is that you're just, you're going against your own current. You're going against your own energy and your own alignment, and then

you're just gonna have less

confidence. You're gonna have less acknowledgement about your body and

what you

want, and, then that's gonna just keep you in this like,

stagnant energy of like still not knowing and waiting for others to validate you or,

or tell you how to

feel. Even

as like

small, and

this is

silly and like

it's not a big deal cuz we all do it. We're all women and we're always

like tell, asking each other like, Hey, does this look good? Or sending pictures.

But

when you really own yourself, when you know you're a badass,

when you know you feel

sexy, when you know

you feel great, when you're owning your power, when you're

feeling amazing. You're not gonna

need that validation, even from your girlfriend to tell you, you

look good.

It's just gonna be an added on.

It's gonna be a

plus. It's gonna feel

extra. Or even if you do wanna

it, you already know

that you feel good though. Maybe you just want the validation, that's okay as well, but

you won't need it.

And that's true power, and

that is true magic

right there. So I will

continue talking

about these type of

topics because I truly believe that mastering your life and mastering yourself

is in every single area. And for us women, our

sensuality and our sex life. And our female

essence that we have

been taught to shun for so long is part of all this mastery, and I cannot wait to keep sharing these things with you. And if you know

anyone.

That you would like to be

a

guest on here

It's very versed in female sexuality or sensuality. Please

let me know. I haven't found anyone. That's why

I wanted to come on here and talk

and I love sharing my

experiences with you, but I would love to have somebody else on here. Let me know. Go to my Instagram

and let me know. I hope you guys enjoy. This was a

short one, but I hope you guys

enjoyed it. Until next time

guys.