When you consistently. I don't do the things you say, you're going to do you don't show up for yourself. You let yourself go. You don't do the things that you want to do. You don't show up as the best version of yourself. You're going to start losing confidence in yourself. Welcomes another week's episode this week, we're going to be talking about what to do when you feel less than confident. Because no matter who you follow on Instagram, who, you know, everyone.
Lacks confidence at some point, a lot of us lack confidence most of the time. But even the people that you feel like are the most confident are not always the most confident and they actually struggle with it. It's usually the people that we think are the most confident, the ones that struggle with it the most. And that's usually because their validation and their so forth comes from things outside of themselves and not from within.
So in this week's episode, I want to talk about specifically what I do when I feel less than confident. Especially as of lately, I've been having a lot of moments. Where I don't feel confident and it has a lot to do with my weight. And the way that I've been showing up for myself, I pride myself in showing up for myself every single day. If you follow me on Instagram, I try to work out. I try to do things that put me in an elevated mindset and an elevated energy field.
And I show up for myself in every single way. So then I'm very hard on myself when I don't, when I fall off, when I'm on vacation, when I'm eating a little too much, when I'm drinking a little too much, when I'm honeymooning with my boyfriend a little too much, because we are. Uh, indulging and drinking wine and living our best life. And. It's hard for me to do both. It's hard for me to see it as just like a chapter, a moment in my life.
And I've gained like 10 to 12 pounds in the last, like three, four months. And most of it, probably more like five months and most of it, I'm sure it has to do with hormonal changes. I had missed my menstrual cycle for the last five months, but I have been indulging a little more than usual and I've been extra hungry and. All over the place. And so when I feel out of control, I don't feel confident. I feel very down on myself. I feel like I should be doing better. Like I should know better.
And especially, you know, when your clothes don't fit the same and you look in the mirror and there's certain little areas of feel a little. Extra thick and you don't want to feel fluffy. And there's little things that we know annoy us and make us feel less than confident. Maybe your hair you're having a bad hair day. Maybe. Whatever it is like, you're just not feeling your best. Maybe you're breaking out on your face. There's so many things that make us feel less than confident.
And I wanted to make this episode specifically, because not only do I want you guys to know that we all go through it, everyone does. It's what some of my most beautiful friends that I feel like lack confidence sometimes because we all struggle with it. And I think seeing life as seasonal and how things are just chapters in your life. My boyfriend always says this and it always has stuck with me. He's like, we're, it's just a chapter, right. It's just a chapter.
And I'm like, yeah, it's just a chapter. It's just a moment in your life right now. And recognizing that you don't have to stay there, right. A chapter is just a moment and you can write the next chapter in the next chapter. And things can always change from moment to moment, but you get to make these choices. So feeling less than confident is absolutely normal, but. Do we have to stay there. Do we have to stay in this funky energy where we don't feel confident where we don't feel our best?
Absolutely not. So let's get into things that I do to make myself feel better when I don't feel confident. And to be completely honest before we even start a lot of my confidence before used to come from validation of others and what other people thought of me, and then I would feel good. You know, if somebody told me, oh my God, you look so pretty or you look great or. Things like that, that would help me feel more confident.
And now it's so different because nobody's validation makes me feel better. Actually, the other day I was at the beach with my boyfriend. And like I said, I feel a little fluffier and I don't feel like. My best self right now, physically. And he asked me to make a real with him. We're running. On the beach. And of course my first thought it's like, oh my gosh, absolutely not. I do not want to be juggling and juggling around all those Xs weight and like videotaping myself.
And I was like, no, you know what? Screw it. It's just a chapter in my life. I'm going to look back at this video and be like, wow, I was not feeling my best. I wasn't feeling the most confident, but I still did it. And that's empowering. It's when we let our lack of confidence stop us, that I feel like it becomes a big problem. And it becomes really heavy in our lives because w we stop ourselves from living lives.
We stop ourselves from experiencing things because we don't feel the most confident because we don't feel comfortable in our skin. And the truth is that at the end of the day, all we have is just an avatar, like. Our body, our skin is just an avatar and it's here to protect us. Our body's here to help us, but the way we look, it's just an added bonus, right? Our confidence really should come from within.
And so, like I was saying the confidence level now, even at my work and I was like, no, you look great. Like you always so good at validating me, but it doesn't mean as much to me anymore when other people validate me. And actually don't. I really care for it because he can think, I look great, but if I don't feel great, Then nothing else matters. So my hopes with this podcast episode is that when you get off. You know, you stop listening to this. You learn to feel so confident in your own skin.
And then when you don't feel so confident in your own skin, that you're able to really, really back in and bring it back to you. So first things first, when I don't feel confident in myself, I asked myself, where am I letting myself down? Where am I not showing up for myself? Where have I let myself go. 'cause like I said, right? what was causing my lack of confidence was me not being on track with my workouts and eating a little more and indulging more and drinking more.
That goes against what I value in life, I value health and I value eating healthy. And I value working out and I value all these things. So when we. Go against our own values and what we actually want to become. Then we start losing confidence in ourselves because that's all confidence is confidence is the ability to know that that thing or person is going to do what they say they're going to do. So when you consistently.
I don't do the things you say, you're going to do you don't show up for yourself. You let yourself go. You don't do the things that you want to do. You don't show up as the best version of yourself. You're going to start losing confidence in yourself. So ask yourself, be radically honest with yourself, because we can make excuses. I had every single excuse. I started a new insurance job. I've been traveling more than usual. I lost my menstrual cycle. I've been extra hungry.
I've been extra emotional. I've been emotional eating. All these things, right? So I have every single excuse to be like, well, this is why, or this is why, and this is why, but I had to get radically honest with myself and say, all right. Why am I not showing up for myself? Why am I going down this rabbit hole where I know it's starting to make me feel good. If I overindulge, if I overeat, if I don't consistently stay on track with my diet, it's going to make me feel bad.
It's not gonna make me feel good. So ask yourself, where have you let yourself go? Did you stop working out? Did you say you were going to start walking every single day and you haven't done that? Did you say you were going to start maybe drinking more water, eating, healthier, eating some more fruits. Trying intermittent, fasting, whatever it is that you feel like you said you were going to do. Ask yourself and be radically honest. Why haven't you done it? And what can you change about it?
Right. So now that we have the recognition of where have you let yourself go, how can you reel it back in? How can you actually start consistently showing up for yourself? So your confidence level starts adding up. Think of your confidence as a credit score. The credit score you have with yourself is so important. And it's one of the things that matters the most because.
If you go check your score, and if you don't even want to check your score, if you feel like your confidence credit score is so low that you're so scared to even check it. Then that's also a reality check to know. Okay. I'm not showing up for myself and then ask yourself the other thing I would say, and going in a little deeper is. Do you feel worthy of showing up for yourself consistently? Because a lot of us struggle and I only say this because I used to struggle with it myself.
I couldn't keep promises to myself and show it for myself consistently, because I honestly didn't feel worthy of it. I didn't feel worthy of putting myself first. I didn't feel worthy of acknowledging that my needs are valid. I didn't feel worthy of feeling good. And there's times that I still have to, I hit like these plateaus and I hit these moments where I even self-sabotage sometimes when things are going to good. Having that recognition because we all have it. And if you start.
recognizing your patterns and your cycles. You'll notice that. Okay. Well, I started doing something I feel really good. And then I fall off. I start working out. I do really good. And then there's a block, right? There's like a wall that you hit. Maybe there's a certain point where you go the whole opposite end. And start recognizing and sit with this for a little bit, like, write it down, maybe journal a little bit. Ask yourself where does it go? Downhill.
I know for me is when I'm extra stressed. If I've already kind of like binged. He ate a little bit worried, a little bit of like junk food and drank a little too much. A couple of days, I will continue to do it because I'm already like in that funk of wallets, I already feel like crap. I already feel fluffy. Let me just keep going. And it's always stressed, induced. I eat my worst. I do my worst. I don't show up for myself. Like I say, I want to do when I am stressed out.
So having that recognition of what is your pattern? What is your cycle and how can you interrupt it? Because it's so much easier. If you're able to just catch yourself before you go downhill and lose all this confidence in yourself, because confidence is a little harder to build up than to just maintain.
If it was somebody else, if somebody tells you I'm going to be there at 10 in the morning and morning after morning, and they come in at 10 30, 11, you're going to lose confidence in the fact that they have the ability of showing up on time. So your inner compass, your inner trust is going to start losing confidence in yourself. If you continuously stop doing the things you say you're going to do.
And I've already mentioned this at the beginning, but also asking yourself what outside of you are you putting your self worth and your validation on? Because a lot of the times we feel less confident because where you are not so secure and staple within our own mind and body. And so somebody tells you that you did a poor job, or somebody tells you that you didn't do good at something or that you don't look so good or that your outfit's not that great.
We lose confidence in ourself because we don't have enough self power and confidence within ourselves. So ask yourself. Where am I putting my self worth and my validation on. And sometimes it's even a job, right? Sometimes we're like, okay, I'm working and I'm working so hard and I really want to be recognized for my hard work. And then when we don't, our confidence level goes down.
And that is because again, we're putting our validation and our self worth in the hands of our boss, of our coworkers, of the person that you're over-giving to whoever it is, because we, we really yearn for that feeling when you're in feel good to feel. Uh, validated to feel loved, to feel cared for, but we have to learn to do that and give that to ourselves. And it's almost like a full circle moment because once we learn to give that to ourself, our confidence also builds as well.
And we will need it less from other people. We will need it less from. Anything else around us. But until we were able to kind of master the ability to have the confidence within ourselves.
And even if we lose it to reel it back in, we will be at the mercy of everyone else giving us this validation and this love and this care and the self-worth that we should be giving ourselves confidence starts with the ability to be able to consistently show up for yourself so that your inner trust system is able to trust you so that your inner trust system is able to say, I have confidence that she's going. To show up for herself today.
And with that being said, let's also talk about other things. Cause those are deeper things that maybe you have to kind of sit with and journal with. I will. I'm going to give you some little tangible so you can do right away. So you could feel. More confident in your ability to show up for yourself so you can feel more confident right away. I would say set small little goals that always helps me so much to helps trick your mind and your subconscious. Remember.
So our so conscious is in the driver's seat. So if we're able to trick an override, the self-sabotage, the lack of confidence, we are able to do, create things. So. Make a little list of things that you want to do. Set little goals, like say tomorrow, I say, I'm going to journal in the morning. I am going to meditate for five minutes. I'm going to call a friend and I'm going to drink five glasses of water. Sounds a little silly.
But at the end of tomorrow, when you go and you check off these, this little goal list and you check off everything you said, you're going to do. You are going to feel so much more empowered because you said you were going to do something. You made a list you visually sought. And now you're checking it off. It's it's kind of bizarre. It's crazy how powerful our mind is, because once we're able to do that, Our it just tricks.
Our subconscious is saying, oh, well, we did it once we could do it again. Well, this feels good, right? Your endorphins are going. You have to give yourself these little boosts of endorphins and confidence when you're feeling. Not that good. And then also like physical things, right? Like, do your hair, do your makeup wear an outfit that feels really good. Wear an outfit that makes you always feel like a bad-ass. It makes you feel.
Confident and it makes you feel like you can go conquer the world. And I promise you, that's going to get you. That's going to elevate you to the next emotion. Like maybe even go get your nails done. Do the things that maybe you haven't done any no. Makes you feel good. Check in with yourself. What makes me feel good? Maybe it's lighting up a candle, you know, having the aroma. Start activating your senses, do things that make you feel good. Because good feelings create other good feelings.
And that's going to also help with the confidence, and then another little tangible that you could do right away when you're not feeling confident is to make a list of all the things that you've accomplished in your life, whether they're big and small, whatever you can think of, make a little list, because this is again, going to remind your subconscious that even though maybe we fallen off, even though maybe I'm not so consistent right now, I'm not showing up for myself. Like I said, I would.
I'm not doing the things that I said I was going to do. Here's a list of the things that I have accomplished, whatever that is sort of the daily graduated college, that one class that was super hard. And you got over the heartbreak that you overcame. The job was really hard to get the promotion that you got.
Whatever it is that you feel is tangible either the time that you did lose weight, maybe the time that you lost all this weight, that you stayed consistent, that you felt really good about your body. Write down all those times, all those accomplishments, all those goals that you hit, because that's just a reminder that you're not where you're at right now. This is just a chapter and I'm gonna keep saying, and I love that my boyfriend gave me this perspective because.
Everything is just chapters and we get to choose what chapter we want to stay on and what chapter we want to write. So this will give you more perspective of, okay, I've done this before. I have confidence in myself that I could do it again. I know what to do. I can. Accomplish great things If I can accomplish X, Y, and Z. Of course I can accomplish other things. So then you start thinking, okay, I can do this. I've got this. I can do this. And before I end this episode, I do want to say.
That when you don't feel confident in yourself, give yourself grace. We are so fast and so easy to give other people, grace, if a friend came to you and said that you, she doesn't feel confident or that she feels bad about herself, or she's not staying consistent, we would tell her that. It's okay. Right. We would say it's absolutely fine. This is not who you are. This is just a moment in time. Give yourself that amount of grace, because it's not forever.
That feeling of not feeling confident, if not feeling like you can do something or that everyone else is doing something, but you're not able to that too shall pass like that will pass, but you have to make the decision to not stay in that funk to not stay in that lack of confidence. Because then you can truly change your life that you truly become magnetizing. And it's all about repetition and I've been on social media and I've talked about this and I stay very consistent with a lot of things.
And that's the only reason I'm able to get to this point now and I'm able to reel it back in when I don't feel confident, but in the past I've been there. I've been where you have been, if you're listening to this and you, and you're thinking, well, I'm just, I have such lack of confidence. I'm down this deep dark hole and I just can't even get out of it. How can I ever be confident? How can I do the things that I said I'm going to do or want to do?
And it all starts with the ability to stay consistent. You will shine differently. You will become magnetizing there. Your energy will speak for itself before anything else. But you have to keep your words to yourself. You have to keep promises to yourself. You are the most important person in your life. And your confidence levels. Should only come from you. And I will add one more thing before I leave. I keep saying that, but I do want to add one more thing before I leave. And that is.
Worrying about what other people think of you will strip you from your confidence for no reason, because at the end of the day, no one is you. And if people are judging you or criticizing you for doing something, that means that they're lacking confidence in their own life, because I promise you that on this side of things and on social media and with people that I surround myself with now with other creators, Whoever it is that I talked to.
None of us are sitting back and talking about each other criticizing one another. We're not, we're empowering. Each other, because we're confident in our ability and we love ourselves that much. We keep consistently showing up for ourselves and we love to collaborate in that sense, because we are in a different energy field.
So if you're not showing up for yourself and you're lacking confidence and you're scared about what other people might think, and you're worried about going for that one thing or worried about doing something, because you're worried about what other people might think. I'm here to tell you the only people that will judge you or criticize you are the ones that are doing less than you. So let them judge let them criticize. It does not matter.
You are here to do and become a great person and become your best self. And part of that is to get out of your comfort zone to become confident to become magnetizing and to become everything you've ever wanted. And it all starts and ends with you. So you've got this. Go get it. Go become confident. Go go lift up that credit score of confidence within yourself. And have regular check-ins with that credit score. I can not wait to talk to you guys next week. Bye.