Michael who had this podcast episode is for you to leave here with like actionable items and things that make you feel good so that you can lead yourself to these goals in this ambitions and the things that you want from a place that feels really, really good. Welcome to You First, a Journey to Self podcast, where we empower women to rediscover their true, authentic selves and regain personal power. If you are ready for a major shift, you've come to the right place.
I am your host, Maria Fuentes, an expert in women's emotional mastery and self discovery. With a degree in psychology and nearly two decades of experience, I am passionate about addressing the challenges women face most. Self love, healthy relationships, and emotional awareness. I've had the privilege of coaching so many incredible women and witnessing their transformation through the methods we'll discuss on this podcast.
This show is your weekly space to shift your perspective, find inspiration within and heal in ways that feel true to you. I'm so grateful you're here. Let's dive into this week's episode. Hello, my beautiful muses. And welcome back to this week's episode. I am so excited to be recording this episode because if you've been listening to my episodes, I've had a really, really intense emotional time. The last two episodes at least of.
I've been processing a lot and I've been dealing with a lot of my emotions and. Working through them. And. Getting back to myself and like what feels like myself again, it has been really difficult and. I finally feel. Today a little bit more like myself yesterday, a little bit more like myself. I've been one foot in front of the other. But with fall being like right here, by the time you're listening to this starting September, I'm recording. This is August 28th.
The September and fall vibes are so amazing. And I think as women, we have like this like joke, right? Like, oh, pumpkin spice lovers. And like women love fall. We love fall because it's a big shift in energy. We're energetic creatures. The air gets crisp. We feel warm. We feel like we can. Not show so much skin anymore. So they're not, there's not this like pressure of like having to be in our summer bonds and all this stuff. And like, summer's gone.
And now we get to go into this cozy or season that feels a lot more calm and relaxed and. Just comfy in yummy. Right. But like, I'm not, we're not talking about that because it fall for me also is going to be a restart and a reset for me because I. I want to not only get back to myself, I want to feel good and grounded to have my nervous system feel relaxed again and feel happy and just keep working through.
My goals and my ambitions and the things that I want to accomplish and how I want to show up every single day. So I wanted to make this episode because again, being in the precipice of a new season, it just feels so good. And I wanted to come on here so that you guys can get all inspired and excited about this fall season and get really clear on what you desire these last four months of the year, because. The year's not over.
And if you listen to my last episode, we don't want to live a life that we regret. So what can we do these next four months? That will set us up for success. So when January 1st comes, we're not like. Oh man. I did nothing like, oh fuck. I did nothing of what I said I was going to do last year. There's still time that you're not too late. Starting now will always give you a head start a will make you feel better. Like what can you do? And start today. This week, this month.
That will help you not feel regretful at the beginning of the year. But first, we're going to talk about really setting the ground stage for this, um, part of my program and working with my clients is that. I helped them sustain what we create. Right. There's a whole process to my there's a method to my madness. And there's a whole process. And the sustainability of holding all the things that you desire is really important. And actually want to start with that here. It's part of her.
My layer parts when I work with my clients. But I want to start with that here today with you, because I truly believe that in a steady, sustainable, nervous system too, and feeling. Really safe with good healthy habits and things that we enjoy doing. Sets us up for success and we can add more to that. Not the opposite.
Michael who had this podcast episode is for you to leave here with like actionable items and things that make you feel good so that you can lead yourself to these goals in this ambitions and the things that you want from a place that feels really, really good. And so. You know, I love to show up for myself and I talk about it on social media all the time, and the reason I'm crazy about it it's because it's the first thing I stopped doing when life gets hard. It's the first thing.
And it's what I did when I was depressed. When I was going through my divorce. When I was before my divorce, when I was unhappy in my marriage, like I stopped putting myself first so many times, and this is why I'm. So gun-ho about it. But I'll take a step further. I'm going to bring you guys into the things that I teach my clients. I make sure that you show up for yourself and that I show up for myself and that I want you to start showing up for yourself as well.
In three important areas of your life and that's your mind, your body and your spirituality. And so setting that foundation every single day and it doesn't have to be a big grander thing. It just has to be enough to fulfill and stimulate those three things. So for me, I moved my body every single day. I don't have a lot of time in the mornings. I'm not being a morning person. So. I am very efficient with my morning time. And while I'm working out, I'm listening to a podcast.
So I'm stimulating my physical body and my mind I'm learning something new I'm shifting perspectives. Or I'm doing a training because I'm part of this big training program that's for a whole year long. So I'm either. I'm stimulating my mind while my physical body. And honestly, the endorphins that you get off of, out of that, and like the dopamine, the creativity, that's like motivation. There's so much, so many benefits. I'm a big believer of that.
I've been doing this for a while now, at least the last five years. Not every single day, of course, because I don't want to have information overload, but at least twice a week, I try to just listen to something new. Learn something new while I'm working out. And it's so, so powerful. And then spiritually, this one is one that I had been more mindful and doing just as of recently, because I've gotten closer to God.
And so in the mornings, first thing I do is I go have my coffee and I go sit outside. And I just think God for the beautiful day, I think God, for the beautiful morning, I thank God for my partner. I think God for my nieces and nephews health, and I think God, for all the amazing things that happened the day before and all the amazing things will happen that day. I think I have so much gratitude for him. And then I do a little prayer. And for a little bit there, I was reading this book.
Um, it has like 365, like messages, like God messages on it, so that it was just easier. I did try, like I will say to do, and I tried to read the Bible like. Every morning for maybe a week. I think we did it for like a full week. For both so busy in the morning that it was like, I couldn't even read like the Bible. If you're, if you ever read the Bible, like. It's hard to read and I'm like, I haven't even had my coffee. I can't even. I'm reading and I'm not like nothing's sticking.
So I was like, I need to keep it really simple. And that's where, where I want you to learn too, is like these things don't have to be huge. It could be you just go on a walk, it could be, do some stretching. And you listen to something motivational or you listen to this podcast.
Or whatever you feel like doing, and then reading something, whatever spirituality is, whatever feeds you spiritually, because you have to connect to something higher than yourself to it, it feels your soul, Our souls need to be fulfilled every single day as well. And so for me, it all has to happen in the morning because it sets the tone for me that day. But I've also added like a little mindful moment, especially after my cat passed away.
Like, I I've been just more mindful and like living a life that I don't regret. And if I'm feeling extra stress from extra busy, I just like go outside and I lay on my back and. Take some deep breaths. I do some tapping. That can be part of your spirituality to you, right. Talking to a higher source, whatever you believe in. I believe in God. So that's what I speak to and who I speak to. And so doing one. Thing of each of those areas.
Spiritually, mentally and physically, if you can feed yourself in those ways, every single day. And not have guilt or shame if you don't, if you forgot one. That's okay. Like just do better the next day. Right? Living a life that you don't regret is it doesn't mean doing things perfectly. It just means you're going to just do better the next day. And so what happens then is that your body, two things, two main things happen is that your body.
It starts to feel really safe with your own consistency is thirds to rely on. Hm. Well, I'm going to get fed something really good mentally. And I'm going to get fed something really good. Physically. My endorphins are going to be kicking off. And I'm going to be connected to something higher than me. So I'm going to have less stress, less anxiety because I have more faith than I have more trust. And so you start really creating. The second thing happens is. Starts feeling safe to take action.
The reason most of us stay stuck and don't take actionists because we don't feel safe to our subconscious maybe consciously we think, yeah, it's safe. It's fine. But our subconscious. The only purpose our subconscious has to keep us safe. And it's going to look for ways to keep us stuck, even though consciously we're like, why am I stuck? This feels terrible. Subconsciously we're like our subconscious is like, no, we're good. We're fine.
Like tomorrow I know exactly what that's going to look like because we're not taking any big steps. We're not making any big moves. We're not taking any. I think big actions or anything scary. So we feel good. We're staying right here. And our conscious is like, no, I want more. And so how you blend those two and. Allow your subconscious to come in to feeling safe is by giving yourself that consistency.
And if you're listening to this and you're like me at all, I never had that consistency be given to me by my parents, if anything, I had the opposite. And so my subconscious is always looking like for the other shoe to drop for shit, to hit the fan for things to wrong. Like my subconscious is always looking for something. And so now that I've been able to just keep building that consistency, it feels really safe and it feels really good.
It knows, it knows they could trust me, knows that I can keep it safe. So then I can take actions. Right. I could add a little more to my plate. And that's a lot of how I get out of depressive, funks, like rowing when we feel depressed or we feel sad or we feel like we're in a fungus. It's just that said. Our bodies just go into like meltdown mode. They're like we can do anything. Our nervous system is just shot.
It's also, I, when we start the new year and we have this whole list of all these goals we're going to do, we don't actually fulfill them or take actions with. Within the next few months, we only maybe take take actions the first couple of months, or even if that even that's why gyms get busy for the first month. And then everyone falls off because our nervous system, if we add too much to it, it's going to freak out and it's going to say. Abort abort missions too much. This feels scary.
We can't do all of this. And our bodies will literally physically not allow us to go do it. We will have the energy, like we'll feel drained, we'll feel exhausted and we won't feel like we could actually take action. And so creating that safety. It's so, so, so important. And so with that, now that you've created that safety net was, and I would say just practice that like even a couple of weeks, it makes a huge difference.
So if you're listening to this start today, Start this week and then see how you feel and then add something else to it'd be like, okay, well, I said, I haven't been wanting to do X, Y, and Z. I've been putting that off. Let me add that onto my week. Right? Not two a day. Like don't add something every single day, because we, the point is to expand like a rubber band, but not snap. We don't want to snap the rubber band of our nervous system. So add and check in with yourself. How does this feel?
How does this feel? How does it feel? And fear's going to come up and that's not, when you say, well, fuck that. I feel fear. I'm going to just walk away. This is obviously not meant for me. No fear is like our friend and it's part of our subconscious. And we're going to say, I see you fear, but remember, I've got you. I've laid on down the fin dev foundation. I've laid down the things that feel good for us. So don't worry. I've got us.
And you're going to add a little more and add a little more. And add a little more until you feel really good. And maybe this is a season for you to really hone in and do a lot in the next four months, or maybe this is a season that you just start one thing. But check in with yourself and allow yourself to feel really good about the progress that journey. I'll tell you what, like. I thought that hitting a 10 K month. Would be.
The most amazing thing and I would feel so fulfilled and like, then I would feel so worthy of like, I don't know. I don't even know what I thought it would bring to me, to be honest. I was like, once I hit it, like, I dunno, I could just kept going towards it because I followed it and chased it for so long. And it didn't feel like the way I thought it would. I had so much gratitude. Don't get me wrong. I was so happy. So grateful. I did not feel like I thought I would.
And the next month I didn't do it again. And I'm going to tell you why I didn't do it again because my subconscious felt unsafe. That I hit something. And then I had to like the pressure of like, oh my gosh, we have to do this again. I got close to it, but I didn't hit it. And I know that that's where it was. It was like, my, my subconscious was like, oh my gosh, this is a lot. This is a lot. This is a lot.
So again, we want to live a life that feels really good to us and fulfilling and ha don't attach it to anything. So the moment for me, at least when I started attaching my goals, my ambitions, my vision to. If I don't do X, Y, and Z in this amount of time, or if I don't, if I'm not successful by like December 31st, 20, 24, I'm a failure. The amount of pressure that my subconscious feels. It's ridiculous. And it makes me want to throw up.
And it makes me not want to take action, to be honest with you, I will like self-sabotage procrastinate. I'll start, I'll do anything and everything. What I learned that works for me is I have a vision and I always just say, I'm in the process of, and I don't have a timeline because my vision and the life that I want to feel starts today. And so I'm tapping into the energy of what I want to feel right now that I want to feel in the future. I'm not waiting. I'm not like.
Allowing myself to just like, wait for that to happen. And I'll give you an example, because I think a lot of, for a lot of us that are more logical thinkers, that's hard to really like wrap your head around. And it was for me for a while. Like when I heard, I don't remember who I heard talk about this concept, but I was like, oh, okay. Like how can I just tap into that energy? I don't even know what that energy feels like.
And. When you get really clear on your desires and what you want from me is that I want in the next, I don't know how many years, right? I'm not giving myself a time limit. I want to live a life where I just help people. A full control of my time, my energy. How much and how little I work. And work doesn't feel like work. I've created a life for myself that feels flowy and amazing, and sure it's going to have challenges and struggles, but I will have enough.
Capacity in my nervous system and my body to hold it. I have, I've learned all the lessons. I keep learning lessons. I've never not growing. I continuously grow. And what I would desire the most. And I've gotten really clear with this as I. We've gone through life and I've made more money. I used to just chase the money and I thought that was it. And then I was like, well, that's not it. So what's going to fulfill me. And I said, I want time. Freedom. And yes, money is part of freedom. Right?
When you have money, you could do more things. Like, I just bought a flight for my niece to come to visit me this weekend because she loved dusty and I love dusty and we're just going to have like this little moment this weekend so that she could be with me. And like, I didn't have that money to do that, like even two years ago. So. Money creates freedom, but I had to get really clear on what I desired that freedom to feel like for me.
And it for me is like, I want to wake up whenever I want to wake up. I want to be able to. Pay a team that helps me with the things that I'm not good at so that I can stay in my zone of genius. So that I can create content so that I can help more women so that I could create an abundance of help and resources so that I can go speak. And speaking engagements, you know, once a month or twice a month, whatever that looks like.
So that teacher and I can travel and do whatever we feel like doing when we want, we don't have to ask money for permission, but the essence of what I truly want to feel is freedom. I want to feel relaxed. I feel like I've been chasing and working so hard since I was younger. I've never like, not really had a job and maybe not worked for like four months, my whole entire life. And it felt awful. I felt like such like, like I had nothing to do or nothing to give.
So really what I want to live as a purposeful freeing freedom feeling life. And so. What I do now as I work my commercial insurance job and I coach. And I'm learning all these different things and I'm doing this year long training and my podcast and all these amazing thing that I love it. But it's a very busy season in my life right now, but I'm like, okay. So I obviously don't have a lot of freedom. So I tap into that feeling when I can.
There's moments in my commercial insurance job, like in the mornings or something that I don't have much going on. And I take my time. I get ready. I take my time. I'll go live on Instagram or I'll post something. Or I'll go to the store and when I'm doing those things, I think, oh, this is exactly how it's going to feel. I won't have to really worry about coming back and doing a job because my job. That I'm creating. And the purpose that I'm creating is going to be worked on on my time.
And so I'm tapping into that. And I'm so grateful. So when it happens, I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so much gratitude. Like, thank you, God. Like this is already happening for me. I'm already tapping into that feeling. At night when I visualize, when I start thinking of like, All the amazing things I want. I sit with the feeling that I want to feel, what I want to feel. I want to feel love and abundance of love of freedom. Where do I want to go? Where do I want to travel? I love traveling.
Right? So like, even though I haven't been to a lot of places and I've been, even though I've been to a lot of places or so much, I want to see, and I haven't been to those places yet. So visualizing that sometimes it's a little harder, but. What. What cough, what does a coffee tastes like with this view that I'm seeing? What type of life am I creating and how am I creating it? I'm being really mindful of and tapping into that energy. Now, because for me, that's what feels aligned.
And I think we don't talk about that enough. Especially as women we're such energetic, emotional creatures, we have to attach ourselves to the emotion and the energetics of the things we want. Not, I want this because it's going to give me these things. For the most part. Once we have the things we were like, oh, okay. That feels good. But like, unless we have some emotional attachment to those things, And what they bring us. They're gonna leave us feeling a little bit empty. Right?
A lot of us feel that way after we we've had success. And so living a life that you're proud of now. And so for me, the next four months, I'm going to focus on. Really just visualizing more. Getting really clear doing a lot of, I have this program that I'm in for the next year. I have a lot of homework to do with them.
So I'm going to just make sure that I'm consistent with that, that I get that done, that I get like all the little things done, because it's going to help me with my coaching career and even open up here in the next four months. I want to open myself up to more coaching clients. And I know that in order to open myself up energetically. For my energetic capacity for them, I have to stay really consistent with myself.
And I have to, like I tell TJ I'm like, I am like an athlete in some sense, like an energetic athlete. If I don't do X, Y, and Z every single day and like eat healthy and keep my mind clear and do all these things. I'm no good to anybody else, including myself. So get really clear on what you want the next four months to feel like what you want the rest of your life to feel like, and start taking actions to feel aligned.
And if my concept, and it's not my concept, I've adopted this concept from someone else of just really getting clear. Actually it was one of my mentors. Yeah. So one of my mentors came. Up with this concept. She said that she works in operates the same way is that she needs to feel connected to things and not give herself these time. Constricting goals and ambition. And I love that and I resonated with it.
And so I hope that you can resonate with it and you can start really crafting and getting clear on what you desire. And make sure that it's what you desire, not what you need, right. When we need something, we energetically push it away. And that could be a whole other topic of an episode because there's so much juice there to get into. But if you say I need a better car. Because that's going to make me feel better, or I need a boyfriend because that's gonna make me feel, feel better.
I need a better job. That needy energy is can to repel anything better to come as well. So instead of feeling that need be like, I would desire a better job because I deserve more money. I desire a boyfriend because I love the way I love, There's a difference in that. And I don't actually, I'm going to do another episode on like the difference between needing and desiring. And how to really manifest if you want to call it that.
Um, I like calling it attracting, you know, reflecting what you want into your life, but. I hope this episode helped you. And I hope that you, after listening to this, you're like, yes, let me go create safety my body and make me make sure I feel good mentally, physically, and spiritually. And then let me go set myself up for success. Make sure that you set yourself up in a way that you won't regret the next four months. Especially with the holidays right around the corner. Right.
There's so much shame and guilt. Oh, my gosh, I eat too much. I drank too. All these things, like if you sell yourself up good, now the holidays will come. And all those triggers and stressors of the holidays. Won't feel so strong because you're setting yourself up for success now, too. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you guys next week. As we come to the close of this episode, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude and admiration for you.
Taking the time to show up for yourself is an act of self love. And if this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit. And also, if you love this episode, please rate and review us. When you do, screenshot your review and email it to us for a special gift. Our Rediscover Yourself Worksheet. This worksheet includes exercises to help you uncover your authentic self, and assess the areas of your life that are misaligned with the true you.
Email it to info at maria fuentes dot net. Also stay connected with us on social media for updates and more inspiration. You can find all this information in the show notes. Again, thank you for being here and I cannot wait to continue this journey together.