Welcome to the Self Mastery Podcast. I am your host, Maria Fuentez, and on the show we will talk about all things the self. I believe that it all starts and ends with you, and every one of us has the ability to create the life we've always wanted. I'm here to help you expand your mind, conquer your limiting beliefs, and guide you to ultimate self-love and magnetizing confidence you've come to the right place.
If you're ready to take full ownership of your life and find your true, authentic, Welcome to your weekly dose of transformation. Quick message. Before we get into this week's episode. When I started there before years ago, I felt completely lost. Either know where to find a therapist or even what I needed at the time. I wish I would've known about the sponsor of today's episode, better help. When I started my journey.
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Remember, self-mastery starts with the decision to take ownership of your life. And I believe therapy is the biggest step you can take towards achieving that. Now Let's dive into this week's episode. Welcome to this week's episode. I am sitting here and I've been creating some content for Instagram this morning. And. It kept coming up to me that I wanted to sit down and actually have a big conversation about this on my podcast with you guys, because it's something that I struggle with.
And I know a lot of people struggle with, and there's not a lot of talk about it. I don't feel because we are constantly all living in the feature. A lot of the times we want these certain outcomes and these things to happen. And we attach ourselves to what that's going to look like, whether it's a person, a place, a thing that we want. We feel like the, when we accomplish that thing. We're going to feel this amazing feeling. And we attach ourselves so much to it.
So on today's episode, I want to talk about just. Exactly that detaching yourself from the outcome or energetically detaching yourself from the outcome, especially when you want something really badly. What I've learned within myself is that. When I get an idea in my head when I have a thought or when there's a feeling or someone or something that I want, I constantly and consistently think about it, what that looks like, what it's going to feel like. And that's all amazing.
I think those are great tools to manifest what you want. But there's a big difference. And that's what I want to talk about the most on this episode is there's a big difference between attaching yourself and your self-worth to a certain outcome, because energetically, if you're in that, if you're in that feeling energetically, you're just going to be pushing what you want the most away from you even quicker versus. Hey, this is what I want. Energetically. I'm a match to it. I already see myself.
In this atmosphere in this environment, I can already. Imagine what it looks like and how it's going to be. That's going to help you attract it versus push it away. So I want to get deep into that, or at least a little deep.
And so now I want to explain to you what those differences are and some tools that I've used myself to release the attachment from the outcome and how I've manifested so many different things this year, especially the beginning of this year was intense in so many amazing ways. And I've continuously been able to prove myself, prove to myself that the woman I say, I want something. And then I'm able to just energetically release it.
It comes to me tenfold and it comes to me a lot better than I even imagined. Or I would have expected it to we're in the past. I definitely just stayed really attached to an outcome. And then I would get really anxious and I would get really depressed if I didn't get it. And then a lot of my self-worth was so tied to that. Outcome that I started feeling really bad about myself.
And I realize that throughout all of this is that my confidence, my self worth, anything of who I am truly to my core can never be tied to anything outside of me. And that was a big realization that I had. And I hope they have, you're listening to this. If you're in that stage right now know that you are whole the way you are, but I don't wanna get too ahead of myself. I know I get ahead of myself. Sometimes let's get into.
The two differences of wanting something and energetically being a match to it and actually manifesting it the way you want it to come. or the opposite, which is attaching yourself to an outcome. So badly that you actually repel it and push it away even further. So let's start off with the less positive one.
In the past, when I've wanted something really badly, I've needed it to happen for X, Y, and Z I've needed it to happen because I needed more money because I needed recognition because I needed more love. I needed someone to validate me, let's say, in relationships, I needed that relationship to work because of not. It's like I was going to say something negative about me and my ego and who I am as a person. So I needed to make it work. Especially my marriage.
I stayed married for a very long time. 'cause. I was like, I'm not going to quit. This is a marriage. People don't quit a marriages, even though I was so unhappy. So you want something, but you're not gonna get what you want because energetically you're attaching it to your ego and things outside of yourself. It's not coming from a pure, wholesome place. I'll give you another example. Let's say you want a job. You're going to interview for a job. And you really want this job.
It's a great company. You feel like it's such a good fit. It's going to pay you a lot of money. And you want the recognition. You want to tell people that you work there, you want the money because you feel like it's going to give you a certain status. It's going to give you all these materialistic things that you've been wanting. And now you're attaching your self worth and all these amazing things that could happen later on. To who you are as a person.
So what's going to happen is that you're going to want it so bad for all the wrong reasons. That you're going to push it away and you're going to stress yourself out and thinks might not even work out the way you want them to, so you might get the job, but then something happens. The salary doesn't match up what it was supposed to be, or you don't end up liking the people that you work with.
Something ends up not turning out the way you wanted it to be because energetically you're going into it with a lack. Mentality that I need validation. I need my self worth to come from this job or this relationship. Or this materialistic object. Whatever it is that you feel like it's going to give you more than you already have right now. Now where things have shifted for me and such a big way. And I hope that this resonates with you and you're able to tap into this energy.
Because not only, and I know I've talked about it here, a lot in all my social media, but confidence comes from daily habits and keeping promises to yourself. Nothing outside of you and you say everything is about yourself. Nothing outside of you can give you confidence, nothing outside of you can give you more love than you can give yourself. Nothing outside of you can validate you more than you can validate yourself. It all comes back to us.
So when we want something outside of us, this is a key ingredient. Is knowing that you are whole with or without the thing, the person, the place or anything outside of you. And how do you do that? How do you do that in still want something outside of me? Cause you might be asking yourself, well, Maria, if I'm so whole, why do I want the relationship? Or if I'm so whole, why do I need the job or. More money or the business or the career or any of those things.
And. It's realizing that we are limitless human beings. We're able to have an abundance of absolutely everything because everything is energy. Money is just paper. And we only gave it some sort of, value because we decided it was worth anything, but really it's just an exchange of energy. A job is an exchange of energy. You put an energy, they give you a paycheck, a career, you know, whatever it is that you're doing, it's the same thing. You're putting out energy in some way.
You're getting it back. So think of yourself as a ball of energy. If you want to attract and be a magnet to the things that you want. Magnets are, hold the way that they are. They don't really need anything they're magnetic. Right. They attract things to them. So see yourself as a magnet and realize that you're whole and stable and very okay with the way you are. And you're happy. You're more than okay. You're happy.
And you're thriving and you're confident and everything comes to you, tenfold and fast and you attracted straight into your life without even really having to put in a lot of effort. You just say it out to the universe, to God, to whoever it is that you believe in. And it comes to you tenfold and it comes to you quickly.
But here's another key ingredient, other than thinking of yourself as this magnetic, whole being is also realizing and giving that space to the universe and God to give you what you need at their timeline, when they think it's going to be best for you. And also allowing room for magic because sometimes we attach ourselves to this idea of what we want things to be and look like. And every single time, at least in my life, nothing has ever planned out the way I wanted it to be.
But it's turned out so much better. If the situations in relationships or career wise would have turned out the way I wanted them to turn out, I wouldn't be right now, sitting here recording an episode for my podcast, finding true alignment in my career. Doing all the things I want to do, but I did hear the whispers and I've followed a little breadcrumb trail that led me to these things.
But it never felt forced this for the first time ever this career choice and what I'm doing, what I'm passionate about has never felt forced because I haven't tied my self worth to it. I'm here whole, and I want to share things with you guys, and there's no specific outcome that I want from this. And because I'm allowing the universe to show me more, has already given me so much, but I'm allowing it to show me even more than I've ever.
Could've imagined little things that I would have not thought were possible yet, or even an idea are falling on my lap and things are happening. And it's living with one foot and gratitude for what you currently have and one foot in desire. And constantly it's like a little dance, right? You're going to wake up and at least I wake up and I'm so grateful. And I think everything around me, whether it's big or small, I'm just happy and very content with where things are.
But I'm also in such a fiery desire for everything I want. And I can envision what my life looks like. Very clearly. And what I want it to look like, but I also, in my mind, leave room for magic and leave that wiggle room. Think of like glue on. Or think of gum on a shoe. It's probably going to be weird analogy, but it's so messy and it's so disgusting, right? Like you step on gum, you try to take it off. Like you're rubbing your foot on the pavement. Your. And it's, it's so sticky.
Like it's just becoming more of a mess. It's so attached to you, but it's not giving you anything positive. It's actually just like feeling really gross and sticky. That is a feeling that we get when we attach ourselves to people, places or things that we feel are going to give us more than what we already have ourselves. It's like, you can get rid of it. You even, if you pull off all the gum on the sole of your shoe, it's still there. It's still kind of sticking to the pavement.
You're not allowing freedom. You're not allowing expansion. You're not allowing abundance. So even in relationships, right? I think relationships are so important to us because we don't realize how to have a healthy relationship. And I'll give myself as an example, because I love to do that. You. I'm very honest and open with you guys. Anytime I've been in a relationship or in a romantic partnership of any sort or from dating someone.
I can very clearly see if there's going to be a future there or not. And sometimes I create and force this future that I think I can see. And I know the difference. Now I can tell when I am forcing a vision of what I think, or an outcome that I think I want versus knowing what it's going to be like and what it's actually going to feel like. So realizing what energy you're in, when you want something, are you wanting it? Because it's going to validate you stroke your ego, make you feel good.
Um, do you want that relationship because you're lonely. Do you want that relationship? Because it's going to say something about you. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone because it means that you are lovable it's validation to you. That means someone does love you. You are worthy of love. Figure out where it is that it's coming from, that you're attached to this person place or thing. And what it's feeding you. What is, how is it feeding your ego? What is it doing for you?
And then ask yourself, how would I be without this thing? So let's say I don't get that job. I don't get the thriving career that I want. What about me? Do I love, what about me will still be whole? What about me would still be amazing? And what about me will still be great because you're going to find that you have so many different things there. You're going to love about yourself.
But you have to be willing to really see yourself detached from that outcome in order to feel expansive and to feel happy and to feel like you are deserving of those things. So I don't have much else to say guys, except for, I really wanted to come on here and talk about this because there's been a lot of shifts and changes recently for me. Which all feel really good. And. Different energies and I'm. And I'm very cautious right now of.
Really wanting an outcome to happen for good reasons and not for something outside of myself. So I figured I would share this with you guys so that if you're listening and you're attached, so now com. Whether that be a person or a thing or a relationship, whatever it is, just realize and know that you are whole just the way you are. And that's not going to validate you in any way, shape or form. And. Before I leave. I do want to say this.
I think most of us have had the experience that we want something so bad. And then we ended up having it and we're like, eh, It was okay. It's not all that I thought it would be right. We've it's almost like the Chase's better and more satisfying. The wanting is more satisfying than the actual thing. Once we get it. So enjoy the process of wanting it, but enjoy it in a very free way, in a very detached way. And also live your relationships like that when you're in a romantic relationship.
Don't give off that needy energy that you need, that person that you like absolutely need to have them call you, text you constantly because that's going to push that other person away. And that's when we see it, the most is in relationships, whether it's with friends or romantic partner, but that's the same energy that happens when we want anything outside of ourselves. It's too needy. It's too graspy. It's that bad gum on the bottom of your shoe. And it's like icky and gross.
So don't be gum on the bottom of your shoe. And detach yourself from the specific outcomes. And I promise you that you will feel more expansive, lighter. And more open to magic and more open to amazing things happening. And I hope you guys got a little bit of good information from this episode. It's a little one. It's a short one, but I just really wanted to put this out there. And sometimes I just get called to talk to you guys about a specific topic.
And I can't wait to talk to you guys next week. Bye guys.