Narcissists rewrite history to avoid accountability. You are not crazy. This quote resonates because abusive individuals manipulate reality to maintain control and make us doubt ourselves. Remember that abusers target strong people who empathize deeply—this is part of their control strategy. They twist narratives to escape responsibility while making themselves victims—a tactic that keeps them in power over us. In relationships with such individuals, we often feel stuck as they reject our perspe...
May 22, 2024•29 min•Ep. 136
An update on the case of Christina Pierce. This episode was created based off pulling together a variety of public information. If you are listening to this podcast and have $1 to donate, please donate to Christina's GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-bring-christinas-children-home You can follow Christina here: https://www.instagram.com/singlemamamagic Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins pa...
May 16, 2024•23 min•Ep. 135
This episode explores the nuance of the the cycle of abuse. Abuse is not always as clear-cut as physical violence; it often wears the mask of manipulation, control, and psychological harm. It's important to understand that abuse comes in many forms – belittling comments, gaslighting (making you doubt your reality), isolation from friends or family, financial control – these are all red flags signaling an unhealthy dynamic. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my ser...
May 08, 2024•21 min•Ep. 134
Social media platforms are notorious for their bite-sized content designed to grab attention quickly. However, this format often lacks nuance and depth. In the context of relationship advice like Todd's post, there’s no room to address individual circumstances or acknowledge that what works for one couple may be detrimental to another. For those entangled in abusive dynamics—where manipulation skews perceptions—it’s essential to dissect whether compliance serves love or perpetuates control. It i...
May 01, 2024•7 min•Ep. 133
In this episode, I speak openly about the red flags of abusive relationships. For anyone feeling entrapped or seeking support in such situations, remember there are resources available to help navigate these turbulent waters—reach out if needed because sometimes validation can be the first step towards unburdening oneself completely. Red Flags Discussed: Denial of Abuse Manipulation Self-Doubt Recording Evidence Victim Mentality Resistance to Ending Relationship Reaction Suppression Guilt Trippi...
Apr 25, 2024•25 min•Ep. 132
Courtney Gilmartin is at the forefront of advocating change within family courts through her organization New Jersey Protective Moms. On this episode, Courtney brings invaluable insights in navigating the Family Court System that resonate not just in New Jersey but across all states. The term "protective mom" might be unfamiliar to some; it refers to mothers who fight tooth and nail within a legal system that often fails to safeguard them or their children against abusers adept at manipulating p...
Apr 17, 2024•47 min•Ep. 131
Gaslighting is an insidious form of mental manipulation where one person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in another individual’s mind. The goal? To make them question their own judgment, memories, and even sanity—essentially discrediting their sense of reality. This nefarious technique can be subtle or overt but always aims to destabilize the victim and gain psychological control over them. This episode unpacks Gaslighting a little further based on recent questions from listeners. Support the show *...
Apr 10, 2024•6 min•Ep. 130
Ben Taylor joins us again for an in-depth discussion on one of the most bewildering and painful aspects of narcissistic relationships: The Discard. In this episode, we define the Discard, discuss the various forms it can take, and try to understand the "why" behind it. Ben, a self aware Narcissist, helps us understand the complexity of The Discard and why IT IS NOT PERSONAL. You can learn more about Ben here: https://www.rawmotivations.com/ Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro th...
Apr 03, 2024•52 min•Ep. 129
When Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the concept of the Five Love Languages, many embraced it as a revolutionary way to enhance communication and intimacy within relationships. These languages – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch – have helped countless couples express their affection more effectively. However, what happens when these love languages are used to control a partner? Today, we're unraveling how the Five Love Languages can be twisted ...
Mar 27, 2024•15 min•Ep. 128
In today's episode, we delve into a profound concept known as "the Teddy Bear Effect," which provides insight into manipulative expectations within abusive relationships. The "Teddy Bear Effect" stems from Patricia Evans' analogy in her book Controlling People. It's about how abusers create an unrealistic version of their partner, treating them as if they were a teddy bear - compliant and devoid of personal needs or feelings. This pretend relationship ignores the authentic person's identity and ...
Mar 20, 2024•17 min•Ep. 127
Are you struggling to figure out what is going on in your relationship? In this episode, I unpack emotional immaturity and its connection to abusive behaviors in relationships. Key Points Discussed: Self-Doubt vs. Self-Work : Many individuals question their sanity due to others not doing their work; it's essential for everyone to examine their behavior. Emotional Maturity Misconceptions : Smart or successful people can still be emotionally immature; intelligence does not equate to maturity. Sign...
Mar 06, 2024•25 min•Ep. 126
Have you ever found yourself questioning your reality within a relationship? If so, you're not alone. Many individuals struggle to reconcile the conflicting words and actions of their partners, especially when those partners are skilled manipulators or abusers. In today's episode, we delve into these discrepancies and offer insights on how to navigate through them. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mi...
Mar 05, 2024•19 min•Ep. 125
Emmy Marie joins me to dive into trauma responses—how they develop from abusive relationships and ways to manage them. It's crucial to know ourselves better without the weight of judgment or guilt. We delve into how triggers can remind our bodies of past threats and activate our fight-flight-freeze-fawn responses. Recognizing these patterns allows us to seek safety cues that bring us back to a state of peace instead of shame or blame. Emmy shares her journey as an abuse survivor turned coach for...
Feb 28, 2024•47 min•Ep. 124
Today's episode provides an assessment tool for understanding emotional abuse. Often, abusers distort our reality, making us question ourselves. This tool offers clarity and validation to identify what's truly happening in your relationship. Understanding context, intent, and effect is crucial as they reveal whether actions are part of systemic abuse or isolated incidents. Remember that it’s not about individual behaviors but recognizing ongoing manipulation or exploitation patterns. These insig...
Feb 22, 2024•7 min•Ep. 123
Coercive control is psychological and emotional abuse involving manipulation and oppression—it often goes unnoticed as it disguises itself as care but undermines autonomy. Understanding it is crucial and this episode seeks to better understand this topic. Key Points Discussed: Definition and understanding of coercive control The relationship between coercive control, traumatic bonding, and intermittent reinforcement How victims may experience pressure to conform to an abuser's demands Recognizin...
Feb 14, 2024•20 min•Ep. 122
Christina Pierce is a single mother who was stripped of parental rights following her daughter’s heart-wrenching reports of abuse. With each court appearance and every legal document filed, Christina faced an uphill battle against not just her ex-partner but, the judge on her case. Christina's story is one that resonates with too many. As she navigated the turbulent waters of custody battles in Boston, Massachusetts, her journey has become emblematic of a system fraught with challenges. Christin...
Feb 04, 2024•1 hr 52 min•Ep. 121
How do we detach from an abusive partner? This episode explores why detachment feels tough—it's often likened to breaking an addiction—and offer strategies for stepping back. One common obstacle is the urge to control an ex-partner's actions post-breakup—like checking if they get to work—but this hinders our own healing process. We also tend to manage how much they miss us by monitoring social media interactions or ensuring visibility in their lives. Detachment isn't just about creating space be...
Jan 31, 2024•17 min•Ep. 120
A lot of us wonder how we can be healthy after a toxic relationship. Today's guest, Ginger Dean, is a licensed psychotherapist and creator of Loving Me After We . Ginger shares her expertise in helping women overcome toxic relationships to become their best selves. We discuss attachment trauma, abusive patterns and how to begin to heal. Understanding personal needs is crucial; often derived from what was lacking in our past relationships. It’s important not only to know these needs but also seek...
Jan 24, 2024•43 min•Ep. 119
What if you could decipher the enigmatic world of personality disorders? I'm your host, and in a captivating conversation with psychologist Carrie McAvoy, we unravel the complexities of personality disorders, like narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy. Carrie's professional expertise coupled with her personal experience as a survivor of narcissistic abuse takes us deeper into understanding the profound impact of these disorders on our lives. We explore the public health implications of rising ...
Jan 17, 2024•39 min•Ep. 118
Are you drowning in your High Conflict Divorce? Todays guest, Tori, a Family Court Strategist, shares expert strategies to navigate the turbulent waters of family court. Tori unravels the complexity of the family court system and illuminates the path to a smoother divorce process. Through her story, you'll learn how high-conflict divorces are often mislabeled domestic violence cases, why abusers prolong court cases, and the importance of a strategic approach. We cover some key questions: How do ...
Jan 10, 2024•43 min•Ep. 117
Ever wonder what a Narcissist is thinking? Today, we're pulling back the curtain in an enlightening conversation with Ben Taylor, a Self-Aware Narcissist. Ben guides us through narcissistic relationships, shedding light on complex dynamics like hoovering, discarding, and the head-spinning cycle of shame and blame. We also navigate through emotionally abusive behavior and discuss the crucial steps needed to break free and find a clear understanding of reality. You can learn more about Ben here: h...
Jan 03, 2024•44 min•Ep. 116
Emotional abuse is often depicted as a stark, unmistakable force in relationships. However, many suffer from a more insidious form that whispers and weaves itself into their lives with such subtlety that it's almost invisible. It can make victims doubt their sanity when they feel dismissed after trying to be heard. Today's episode dives into subtle emotional abuse by intelligent abusers who mask their manipulation as caring or rational explanations. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long...
Dec 27, 2023•12 min•Ep. 115
Do you find yourself confused by the terminology around Narcissistic Abuse? Katherine Kleis returns to unravel the complexities of narcissistic abuse. She helps us decipher the often bewildering lingo associated with Narcissistic relationships. We explore terms like bread crumbing and word salad and understand their role in the larger cycle of abuse. You can learn more about Katherine and her work here: https://www.standcoaching.com/ Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that expl...
Dec 20, 2023•38 min•Ep. 114
How do you heal? In this episode, I dive into the emotional turmoil we all feel and how I emerged more self-aware, resilient and hopeful. I reveal how I found strength and broke free from a cycle of unhealthy relationships. We'll explore the vital mental shifts that were pivotal in this transformation, and how I recognized my pattern of settling for abusive and emotionally immature partners. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to lis...
Dec 13, 2023•18 min•Ep. 113
Are you stuck in a trauma bond and struggling to break it? Join Lisa Sonni and I are we dissest Trauma Bonding and paint a vivid picture of what trauma bonding looks like and feels like. We shine a light on the psychological process that fosters a false sense of attachment in abusive relationships. We also bring to surface the feelings of fear, obligation, and guilt that often chain victims to their abusers. We end delving into the deceptive hope for change that blinds individuals to their exist...
Dec 06, 2023•46 min•Ep. 112
'tis the season for Narcissistic abuse! Does it feel like things are heightened right now? They likely are. On this episode, we talk through some themes you may be noticing this season, specifically with co-parenting and high conflict divorce. We will talk through the trends and end with some helpful strategies. If you need support: https://high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com/ Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-for...
Nov 30, 2023•19 min•Ep. 111
Does it feel like you will never stop thinking about your ex? Trey De La Torre joins me to dive into rumination, analyze the motives behind narcissistic behaviors, and discuss the signs indicating a narcissist playing the victim. His insightful humor, personal story, and strategies reveal an inspiring transformational journey. We cover understanding and overcoming rumination, sharing practical advice on breaking the cycle of excessive thinking. Together, we aim to provide a comprehensive guide t...
Nov 22, 2023•46 min•Ep. 110
Paul Colaianni joins us for a Q&A episode on Emotional Abuse. We discuss the challenging emotions that come with leaving an abusive relationship, and how understanding these emotions can be the key to reclaiming your personal power. We also delve into the complex territory of setting boundaries in abusive relationships - a stark contrast to the way boundaries function in a healthy relationship. We shine a light on the healing journey post-abuse, focusing on self-reflection, self-validation, ...
Nov 15, 2023•51 min•Ep. 109
What is Love Addiction? Jodi White, a seasoned psychotherapist, joins me to discuss what Love Addiction is and how we can heal. Jodi has devoted her career to helping individuals overcome love addiction and heal from trauma. This episode covers the heart of love addiction, unearthing its roots in developmental trauma and revealing the blurred boundaries between this and emotional abuse. Our dialogue dissects the societal influences and the common misconceptions that romanticize love addiction. W...
Nov 08, 2023•43 min•Ep. 108
What does it take to work through trauma and be on a path towards healing and empowerment? Emmy Marie, a certified trauma-informed coach, joins us to discuss complex PTSD and her journey towards reclaiming her power. Emmy articulates the complex relationship between trauma and personal relationships. She emphasizes how the fog of abuse can blur the lines between love and respect, impacting our sense of self-worth. She offers a practical approach to recognize and express emotional needs, create h...
Nov 01, 2023•38 min•Ep. 107
