Embracing Uncertainty: Finding Freedom in Letting Go

Hello and welcome to another episode of Words With My Soul.

Somewhere along the way, we learn that bad things happen and they don't feel good. And how we process that pain and discomfort depends entirely on what's around you.

If you have support, love, if you have things that are facilitating that healing process, you're going to be in a much better place to recover than if you don't but unfortunately many of us to varying degrees didn't have that didn't have those systems in place a lot of us experienced times where bad things happened and no one was coming to save us it was only down to us and from a really early age when you're not sure what might happen or how to fix it you're aware that you don't.

Know enough you know that you're not big enough or strong enough or old enough and we are dependent for a lot of our defenses on external factors people to look after us people to provide us with shelter and food and warmth and that creates this anxiety this need to constantly monitor events sitting there wondering what bad thing is going to happen what's going to go wrong next or how can I prevent that thing from ever happening and this process never really stops until we bring it to conscious

awareness because for a lot of us in adults we might be slightly better equipped to deal with certain situations but we have this awareness of the dangers in the world and we know that we cannot possibly be equipped for every situation and there are times when we can do our very best and it still go wrong there are times when all the right signs can be there and we can still get hurt and knowing that but still pursuing that constant attempt of controlling reality

of avoiding the bad running away from the problems and pain and confrontation.

Succumbing to this paranoia that constant feeling that it's all going to go wrong and we have to be on constant alert because it may be good now but what happens when it goes wrong when we live in that mode when we constantly worry about what happens when it goes wrong what if things don't work out for me or what if they don't go my way that constant looping internal rhetoric that is carried out from most of us for an entire lifetime until you address it until you see

it for what it is until you release yourself from that until you stop it from happening the constant pursuit of safety and comfort of trying to make sure that everything goes your way that goes to plan instead you need to let go of the control because you can't control it it's not something that you can control. You can try and do your level best to get it done, but it's not possible.

And no matter how much we try, no matter how much you spend or how much time you invest, you can't prevent things going bad. You can have all the wealth in the world and still get sick. You can have all the love and support and family around you, but people still die.

It's not within your control. no matter how much we may think it is but it's not so what do we do it's not like we can completely free ourselves and let go because we have responsibilities we have people to keep safe roofs that need maintaining food that needs putting on the table and just because we know that it can go wrong we're committed to doing everything in our power to prevent it from going wrong for preparing for the worst because we feel that it's better

to suffer but be prepared for more suffering so we may even put ourselves through more suffering more challenges more risk more things that can make us stronger and more confident in our abilities and believe that we have gained an element of control.

But all that you are doing, as much as you can strengthen your body or line your pockets or fight a thousand men, the only thing that you're doing is strengthening your ego, your belief that you have greater control than you do. You're convincing yourself that you are powerful and in charge. And to some degree, that is true. You are powerful. However, preventing bad things from happening is just not one of those things that is within your control.

There are too many variables and if you were seriously dedicated to this pursuit you would have a miserable life because what's left? Life is inherent risk and to step outside increases the chance of that. So if you want to keep yourself safe you have to remove yourself from life. That's the only way because life is huge varying degrees of risk and if you're trying to step out of the game then you.

Can't enjoy any of the benefits of it you can't actually experience and live life you become a prisoner. Of your own lifestyle choices and even. Without that the sheer pursuit makes you miserable because.

All you will be able to see is a sheer volume of inadequacy you will become crippled under your limitations and you will find out that you may have these limits like enough time enough money enough resources but the universe doesn't it's infinite and when comparing the limitations of the universe versus the limitations of the individual there is simply no comparison it's a fact you cannot control all of the variables but even with these limitations it's still our job

to try we've still got to be somebody strong and capable and put food on the table and afford things that the family want and need and be there for our friends and loved ones and do all of the things that we are responsible for and do our best to protect the people that we love and care for the world around us just because it's hopeless we still have to try those things still have to be done and that's why this is a paradox because it might not be true that we can

control all the variables but it needs to be because we still need to play the game and that's exactly what it is a game and you may take that game very seriously and that's perfectly fine if you do but ultimately it is a game and that's not to suggest that it's something frivolous or to be nihilistic it's not throwing life away or disposing of the meaning behind life is actually the opposite.

It's to say that we can live life and have fun and enjoy it and play through life and we don't have to get bogged down in depression and anxiety and fear and worry. And you can live now. Knowing the truth that, okay, I might not get everything right. There's a high chance that things will go wrong at some point.

And when things happen, I might not know what to do, but I rid myself of the fear and worry and criticism, the beating myself up when I get things wrong, the pressure that I put on myself to get everything right and to be perfect because I know that perfection is impossible and the failures. The missteps, the times you don't get it right are all prerequisites to the times that you do get it right.

So there's no need for all of that trauma, all of that suffering, all of that pain that comes along with it when we make ourselves endure that pursuit of perfection and control.

We don't need to go through it. we don't have to we can simply just say you know what the pursuit is worthwhile it's worthwhile to do my best to look after people to make the best things happen to make a good life and do good in the world that's my pursuit that's my goal that's what i want to do in life i'm going to do all of this while maintaining the truth that the outcome is unknown and i have no idea what kind of hardship is going to come

my way or how life's going to work out or what might go wrong but I accept that that's what makes life life that the good comes with the bad and the bad comes with the good one is not without the other it can't be so what you are left with is the confidence. The peaceful mind, because you can rest into doing your best and knowing that you will deal with situations as they come in the best way possible. And that's okay.

There's no anxiety for that. There's no fear to that. There's no shame in that. It's, I will deal with the situations as they arrive to the very best of my ability. And that's enough.

You are enough. And you know, the world will bring what it brings the universe will give me the experience that i selected for myself and i don't know why that is or what the reason behind that is at the moment but someday that will be revealed and i can already feel myself relaxing into that that feeling of letting go of dropping the shoulders of relaxing and calming down and saying this isn't a rush there isn't a panic there isn't this mad pursuit for constant control

there doesn't need to be this constant suffering and pain and anguish they can just be what they are and I don't need to make something happen or force my will upon life we can let go of this now and say it's okay we will take things as they come and if hardship comes my way that's fine I've dealt with tough times before and I'll deal with them again. And when the amazing times come, when the beautiful times come, I'll be grateful for those. That's our appreciation for them in the moment.

To love the areas of your life that are good. To show gratitude and appreciation for the things that have worked out. Things that went your way. And to be appreciative of the things that you have in your life now.

Because things could have always been worse. you were probably one decision away from something being drastically worse in your life you know one time something almost went wrong and didn't but you're here now and for that you have much to be grateful for and what a freeing feeling that is amazing beautiful experience to be living in that moment of knowing that we are doing the very best that we can we are in the moment exactly where we should be and

there is no pressure there is no desperate pursuit of control there is this relinquishing this freeing yourself from fearing the future and dwelling on the past you're not depressed about all of the things that happened to you or all the trauma and everything that went on in your life and you're not anxious of all the things that can go on in the future and worrying about all of the ways that the world can hurt us. We're here experiencing life as we need to be experiencing it,

right here and right now. Thank you for listening.