"Who Moved My Cookie Hammer!" With Alarik Myrin

I read that correctly, alien cousin double penetration erotica. Um. Aaron and Melody they started recording Heaving Bosoms because they love reading romance novels and they wanted an excuse to catch up with each other every week because they missed each other. And now they have a huge community. But the cat podcast is completely self published and self produced

in their free time. So if you love Bachelor Nation but you wish there were more dukes, vampires, aliens and billionaires in your romance stories, this is the podcast for you. Find them on your favorite podcas s app and on www. Dot Heaving Bosoms podcast dot com. And that's at Heaving Underscore Bosoms and there's one s in Bosom and there's actually two but it's b O s o ms on Twitter and Instagram and heaving Bosoms podcasts on Facebook. That

sounds super fun. Yeah, that sounds super fun. Remember I used to read those. It sounds super fun. It reminds me of one thing, if they are, if they're listening to this, I remember in college reading about fan fiction for Star Trek, and there's a whole subgenre of fan fiction in which there was a romantic relationship between Spock

and Kirk. Yes, and maybe they should do that. There was there was a lot of graphic detail about uh spos uh remember, which apparently was enveloped in some sort of thing that would like unfurl I picture like a corkscrew, like a pig. Anyway, if they're looking for something really off to be back, I would look up the Star

Trek fan fiction. And if you guys don't forget, we have bonus episodes on Patreon, and particularly as we're going with Paradise ending, we are about to We've only done one episode so far on Bachelor Australia and you can if you're on our Patreon page, you can watch the episodes on there. So once, once Um Paradise ends, we're going to continue UM with Brian Sophie and we're going to watch Bachelor Australia. It's so fun. Mattie Jay is adorable, right Anna? Yes? He is great. Have you ever seen

the video for this? Use you can hold this put down? Did you take notes? My god, Jennifer Race this story. This is a genetics firepower of Marius MoMA's accepted your son's nickname and signer email j J. I got a hem up with the first time in my life. Hello Lona, what you accept this rose? My name is Arna Marine. We are a very special podcast today because I am sitting here with the person who was born first from Janner Marine. Ladies and gentlemen, the president CEO CFO strategy.

You gotta hold this near your mouth. You want to hold it? The chief stir. You don't need the mic. Stand here we go, you guys who I'm dealing with it. He has a fancy company called Swift. If you like bicycles and riding indoors when it's cold out and you and you want to raise other people, Ladies and gentlemen, My brother Folca Aluric will help marine in the seconds. I'm the third, Your father was the third. Take two full? So did did you do you ever hear the story?

I may have you may have heard this. Hello, hello everyone. So we were so at one point when I was like twenty ish, it's like last year five whatever, I'm there with with at home with mom and dad, and Dad was filling out some sort of form and he turns to me and he goes, how do you spell your name again? Kid? Yeah? That sounds that sounds about right. And I said, I said, okay, First of all, i'm your son. Yeah, you're supposed to know how to spell

my name. Second of all, we have the exact same name. Yeah. You were the second and I am the third. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And then he started to insist that no, he spelled his differently and something he put a c K in all our anyway, Um, okay, side No, Before we get going, we were I was talking about this. First of all, we're here in the pod of the lighting show room, the lighting emporium that is my new house. I am here with Ana and Katie. We're picking up

paint colors for Katie's new house. Yes, I have been having so much trouble. Cheese in a green for the office. Um, if you have a good office screen, he tweeted at me. By a lot of samples, that's all I can say. Um, okay, here's what we were saying over So our mom. Her name is Janet. She's Jane Marie, a little comptrom real estate for all these summer rental knees. For years, she's been Janet, which since you had a son, she became jan Mock because she didn't want to be grandma. She

was jan Mo. And then this summer you were just hanging out with her and your son started calling her j J. And I got an email today about Paradise because she was wondering where Jubilee went, and she signed it j J. She changed her name to j J the other J four. It is a cool name. It's like j J Watt, j J Abram, Dude, I mean, honestly,

to see it. I will show it to you because I have known my mom my entire life and to have never j to see it really come down then j J. She actually emailed me where okay, where is And you're like, who that bachelor question? Here's question j J. J. Whatever happened to the lady Marine, who're the one who played the cello? I thought she and John were a couple and now she disappeared. Did I miss something? J J?

That is what I got from my mom. I have that same question where I did well know they brought it up very quickly, where he like on Monday's episode, we'll get to that. We're gonna get to that. I was pissed before we get going, I wanted to say, and this is we're gonna get serious, probably for the second time ever. Okay, Steve Heightner, who we love. He as you know, he's come to all of our He's basically been verbally inappropriate to my mother numerous times on air.

He has come and probably freaked out all these members from coast to coast. He is one of my very favorite people in the entire world. I love him so hard. I am very saddened to say that his little boy, Jack, who's thirteen years old, had they just found out he has staged four bone and lung cancer and so we are is on our We'll put it on our Facebook page,

but there is a go fund me page. Basically. Steve also lives in Reno, he doesn't live in Los Angeles, and um, they have to move down here for treatment for a year. So and even five dollars helps or whatever. But we just we love our seed. I saw Jack last week. He's doing well, but it's a long journey. It's three surgeries and forty weeks of chemo. So anything that you can give helps, and um, just your prayers and thoughts for a little Jack. And I'm gonna go

see them tomorrow. Alissa Milano's gonna go with me. He loves instatable. I'm like, god, Pleasia, that's like, that's a little sassy. But you know Jackson, but he's he's just such a sweet kid. So it looks like a little Heightener, Oh my god. So and he also Steve's Jack's mom. Cindy is such a fox and uh, as Heightener put it, he got the right combo of jeans because he's got like a personnel, you know, Cindy. Al Alarx spent some time with Cyndy. I saw her last week and she

was like, say hi to Alaric. I always I always loved Alaric. He's like, well, I was like, Cindy, height is easy to like really pretty people well, so in fact that that's gonna So I don't really watch bashl in Paradise so much, but I have to say, having watched it in anticipation of this got me in general thinking it's a good segue. It's my main thought. It's just strange watching a collection of very good looking people. Well, what's fun about the guy that we were asking about? John?

He created the Venmo app? Okay, he's a programmer. He's a programmer. So he was the one that said nobody's better on the answer than a programmer last night. Did you see that? I did see that, and so he in my I'm very protective of him because in my mind it's like you are Andrew in Paradise. I don't know, I feel like he's cuter. Well, he became like hired, he hired his supertrainer. Okay, but you would be sited if you overall, So, you've never watched Paradise before. You

watched some of them. I remember you watched Um, you watched Ben Higgins and Jojo and their fantasy sweets, and you couldn't believe that they got to make out. You couldn't believe. I'm just sit at the head of the table and look at everybody. How did you feel about that? I feel okay about that. Now I can see everyone. Come closer, come closed. Do you guys need air conditioning? Okay, okay, okay, okay, really, how do you move? And then you go come close?

And then you'll move I closed to your close. I felt too close before, but now I need to splee the D or I can split the difference. Okay, so we're gonna start. Here's how it works in uh that's when I started doing. H I do theater. I'm not that fancy, like when I've done please, like most of the people have gone to like Juilliard or whatever, and so somehow like you know, this clown has like snuck ellen too like, and I never know when they're like

it's like stage right or stage life. I literally don't know what they're talking about. So then and so thankfully like the stage managers will like kind of point and

tell me which way to go. But uh so then the guy oftentimes I'll be like too much or I'm often too much, and so so then I started saying, like you want to slew the d slew the day and apparently the director of the like he actually used it with like you know some grand dum he like these stage managers have told me after the after he worked with me, he told some like you know, Kate Burton or somebody to splee the day when like split the diff. Anyway, there we go. That's my story about

sneaking into things that you're not quite qualified for. Um, overall, did you enjoy this show? Sure? Yes I did. It's so fun, isn't it. It's it is It is fun to watch beautiful people squirm. Yeah, you know. So this is a different thing because normally, when we go through episodes of like a pair of The Bachelor of the Bachelorette, they're sort of a beginning, middle, and end. This is sort of, as you can see, is a crazy scramble like free for all, and there's numerous couple threads. Let's

talk about the douchiest out of the gate. Let's discuss this awful Leo. Let's talk about grocery store Joe and Kendall. First of all, I love grocery store Job. He's the best I love. There's a reason that every single guy there, every single person there, is obsessed with him, Like he just is the most popular person there now. Just so you know, this is a guy that when he went on the Bachelorette, he got cut. He didn't even get to unpack. He got cut the night he exited the limb,

so he's never been through. He was okay, I'm you know, I'm. They did his little video thing, like they only choose like five people to do videos here. He was one of them. So we thought he was going to be there for a while. So he got cut immediately, and um and and so he has not been to any this so he's like, oh my god, I meted to Mexico and like and like so and the girl that

he's Kendall, she is like a taxidermy artist. So like the fact that it's like this dude who just sells grocer from Chicago, and then you've got like this taxidermy girl, which is a really classy job. Taxidermy art didn't Katie's didn't Katie's, Pretzel Boy didn't. He Pretzel Boy started making taxidermy art. I did not know that he did. He

like he lost his marbles and started making taxidero. He was this guy that when when we were like twenty two, every girl wanted to make out with this dude in Union Square that sold pretzels at the Pretzels cart, and he did. He made out with Karina, Katie, all of them. He was super hot. He was in like a John Waters movie once he was super hot and then he like made he made out with everybody sold pretzels for years. Once again getting back to the idea that like, life

is different for super hot people. That's the thing I typically don't think about this, but watching their Bachelor, I really or whatever, that's what paradise that some paradise. It really kind of drove home to me that like that, you know, life is just different for super hot it is way different for everybody. Um So here we go. We have Kendall says, I feel like, um we we start off the episode and she's saying to Joe, I feel like death by a tiger is a death that

I can accept. That was just like an overheard I missed that one. Did you guys hear that? I heard that and I didn't. That's things I'm so used to Kendall. Now, I was like, go on, like I didn't even think twice. Yeah, yeah, that was Yeah, that's exactly I have to say. Overall, I was a little mad at Kendall. I felt like the episode, yeah, I was like when she was I was. I got mad at her when she kissed John, Yes, I was like, where the fund did you do that?

Feel Like after all of that, when after and we'll get like when Leo was being the worst, and we'll get there, like and then so she's like, oh, I don't know why. I just fight it because it was because I like him so much, And then you go and kiss John, Like what what the what are you doing? I feel like I've never been in a situation where if a guy liked me, I try like, I'm just like you said, it's crazy these people, the lives they

live with. They're like, Wow, I'm like so desired that I have all these dudes that I can just like screw up your relationship and fall into another one where it's like, what if a guy likes you, Like I'm like, oh my god, Like I'm not going to hurt him by making out with another dude. Kissed John? She kissed John? She said, he kissed Maybe you can see afterwards like she was tearing up, like she regretted it immediately, but

she'd already was immediately regretting Leo. And then and then when it maybe I was like, oh girl, what are you doing? Don't sabotage this? Oh what did you think of all that? I somehow missed the part where she kissed John. I I but Leo, Oh my god, Leo. So here's the thing, Leo. We loved Leo on the Bachelorette. And it's so terrifying how awful he is, how wrong we had he was. He was you know, he's um well, yeah,

he was charming on the Bachelorette. He had he gave a great like this isn't really that was the most manipulating when he twisted it, like when he when he got caught and he went on the war path and he's in the pool, in the pool like as crazy as Chad, like as reedy and crazy as Chad. And it was worse, Yeah, because it was like really weirdly immature,

Like it was the weirdest thing. It's like schoolyard drop like they're kissing, go to Kenny and then like I'm watching Kevin just be like it was really I'm gonna start by saying, I think he looks like a very hairy leave Shreiber. Oh, that's a really good Yes, You're at one point. I feel like Leave has a lot of hair on his chest. He's not Leave is not a non hairy person, but I feel like I feel like Leo's waxed his chest and growing all and like and like done all the hair and Leave it like

growing all the chest and then trimmedle there. I think you're right, Yeah, but yeah, I don't know anybody who goes who goes out of the way to look like Tarzan like that, And I sort of feel like you have to start there just saying, you know, I don't know if I'm going to trust this person. He also looks like Tarzan and was wearing a cheetah blouse. But on the on the Bachelor, he was like so like nice and y, but I guess pronouncing that no one had the chance to really wrong him to bring that

out of him. It also was like he knew he wasn't he knew he wasn't her type, so he had no So I think this was like where them ladies at he works at He's in the water World right, He's in the water World show at Universal City, and he's a stunt man. And he's does softwork, does soft core porn, but that they don't say that on but we know no one acknowledges that when we're all like okay, so like and then he was so awful and he was like you're a really big fake er, you're as yeah,

like it was. It was it was tough to watch, right because he got caught and he was angry at everybody except himself. Is that actually what gas lighting is? That? I just is that the depth like what he did to her lighting her? I think so he was trying to she was gaslighting. I'm confused by was like when you use like manipulative tactics to try and convince someone of something, that's so I think gas I think that's

an old movie or no play. And what it was was that you're trying and convince someone they're crazy, but I like replacing their their clothes with closer, a little bit shorter or something something very There's something that's reason it's called gaslights from there's an actress that I will not Yeah, it's like it's a uh manipulating by ecological means into questioning their own sanity because because he basically he Chris did that a little bit with where so

where they I think it's it's a way of almost like be like, yeah, I did that. She said, she said your gats didn't she say your gas lading? Me too? I think only when he was like, how could you ruin my day like this? Oh my god, how could you ruin my day like that? Ladies, if a man is talking to you like that, get away from him like that's it's never going to get better that The people like that, that's how they deal with things unless they've gone to therapy and learned that that's not. Okay.

Wait here, I am. I found it all because it's it's hard for me during these episodes to keep everything because it's again, it's all over the place. But um and he okay, so she said, he said, this seems a handshake in paradise. Yet she seems a handshake. Somebody's a little tattle tale, a snitch needs to be put in his place. And then uh, Kevin goes in Canada, we are polite, we are reasonable, and we will not be pushed around. That was really good. Well so I

think he was quoting was fantastic. I was about to say Trudeau could be on this show. Oh my god, he really he's so hot. He's actually hotter than the Canadian that we got. And then he goes, I know she will think about our date for the rest of her life and then he and then she goes, I don't know, appreciate you being condescending right now, and he she goes, it wasn't He said, it wasn't phenomenal for you, your phenomenal actress. It was just it was just so aggressive.

I don't know how you're single. And when he said that, he kept saying to her, I don't know how you're single. He was that was terror like being like I don't how could are we not pick you or something like that. It's like, yeah, we get it. You're just trying to emphasize that she's single. It was awful, And then I love when she went to when she went to talk to Joe about it afterwards, after he was taking you guys done here, okay, and then they goes to do

down and she's like, I just wanted to understand. He wouldn't understand. I won it, and he goes, relax, He's just being me, and she's like, I'm just frustrating. He goes well, sometimes you gotta do it being frustrated and sometimes you just gotta chill out. He's the best. Yeah, yeah he was. He was like, Yeah, that's just a

very mean person. She needed to hear that. Yeah, there's like something wrong with him, Like, I mean, if anyone dates him after seeing this, Like, it makes sense why he didn't say a word during mentell all, I don't think he was there. So he was there. He was there, but he did not say a word because I think everyone is kind of like, are you sure he was there because he was wearing like a red suit. Yeah, he was in the front. Because he has also been

accused of sexual harassment. Yeah, I feel like he I think he knew he could not say anything. People would be like, really, I saw Becca M's post being like I told you so, Laurie texted me some stuff which I haven't looked at. But it's about this later or do you have anything more you want to say about Joe or about Joe, Jenna and Leah. Yeah, I mean, you know, there's some horrible dudes out there, and when you you know, when you started dating someone, they start

telling HI about the horrible like boyfriend. A lot of the times his stories like this where like like oh you know, and then he always made me feel like it was my fault. Yes, when you see it that pronounced, you're like, my god. He wasn't good at being manipulative, Like it was almost like a sad attempt where you're like, Okay, well this is really embarrassing for you because you were being a very bad evil person. Well like Chris in some ways is better at it. And Chris is definitely better.

He's because he's just as manipulative, but he's somehow when he gets what he I don't know, I think he stays a little steadier in his tone because he's not getting worked up. Yeah, yeah, Chris, Chris is more manipulative. Yeah, Chris is meant more manipulative because he's not outwardly like just mean well like that's exact. Leo was just like he was getting hyped himself and he was He's hard to see what it's hard to watch a guy I do that to like to actually see areas at the

front row al and the red suit. It's hard to watch somebody like it's like, wow, people actually behave like that, Like that is so crazy. I think a lot of I think it's not uncommon. Really, do you think it's stars? What do you think it is? It's just douche guys? Uh? No, I mean I think I think I think, yeah, some guys are just and I think they're terrible to to too women and intimate situations. Yeah, I think they just get in and they and they like to manipulated. I

think it's more it's almost like abuse rights emotional. It felt like psychological abut and it's certainly it's like, okay, this is you know, this is a limited thing. Clearly you know he's going to go away and she'll never see him again. But like you're like, oh, he's just gonna keep doing this. That's exactly right, you know. And he's handsome and sexy enough. If that he wasn't, well, I hope you know, Like now he's at least been

found out, so like you at least know. But like you can see he gave he gives great first date, his first day with Kendall was good, his first date on Rebecca was good. That's a dangerous guy. But your first fight that's when you learn. Yeah, yeah, and he got that's true. He got mean instantly did like there wasn't any Yeah, it was just it wasn't like they had a little argument and then he got drunk. I

mean this was instant. You know what if you're out there listening, because I think sometimes people it's interesting watching it when people go, oh, but it was so great in the beginning. It's like anybody can give a good first three months, three weeks, you know, like this when people you're right, the first fight, that's the true's colors. I think of how somebody fights like that. Yeah, okay, that's what the Marine siblings have spoken. Um okay, So

then let's talk about Jenna Jenna. Um. So when we first came back Monday night, Jenna is the blond one that Jordan is in love with. And then and then the French guy has shown up Ben wah God. So then we see him. He's like playing frisbee and he goes, that's how you throw a frisbee. You gotta put some risk into that. Jenny, the guy you can use his hands. What's the greater power here? I am He takes a lot about his greater power. Yeah, the the she chose Jordan's and then let her and then said I did

it for you. It's better for you. And then ben Wah went crazy and then Jordan's lost his ship. It was just I thought ben Wah was being a little intense. Yeah, he was not taking it well. He was like Stage five Clinger with Claire. Yeah, we've learned that Ben was an emotional man. He didn't fast did. The real thing with ben Wah was like, as he was driving off, my god, I been rejected by two girls and fourteen hours or something. Yeah, there's clearly something wrong with me.

And you know, but to certainly, well that needs to get close close enough I can hear it. Okay, So but you know there's the the ascent to which, like you realize that, you know, the the whole setup is almost designed to make if you were not picked, like it's crushing, right, It's designed to hyper speed up the cadence of love triangles and it's the meanest and so you know the excent that love triangles will always work

out badly for at least one party. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's it's it's like my son can't want to the super Bowl because he's like, I just want them both to win. He stopped at the end of I showed him the Great British Bake Off, and he loved the show, he said, but towards the andes of Wymond, one of them is going home, you know, and and he goes how they gonna feed their family? You started crying, Like Norman got voted off, and he was at this old

guy who was perfectly happy to get voted off. He's like, I made it longer than I thought, and he was like it was inconsolable. I wanted to cry about that too, though I'm not gonna I love that guy. I haven't watched this season yet, but I will say this, you can console him by the beauty of England is you only win a plate and a pay of flowers. But he needs to he needs to take care of his

family anyway. But it's the same thing here, right, It's like it's like you're creating a situation in which which at least one party is going to end up devastated, and you know, and the question is how resilient are you? Apparently for Ben Will like he really liked this rocking to his core because I guess I don't know, I mean a certain extent, like if you're like, oh, you know, if you if you've gone through life that far being confident and good looking, you know you're not used to

getting the short into this ticket. I guess I don't find him appealing. No, I think he's weird. I think he falls very hard because in the last he did not he was on Winter Games and he felt a w very quickly. She was kind of like, you know, I'm kind of interested in someone else, and he was like heartbroken, Like he went home like two days in, completely destroyed, just dating Jordan's when he showed up, like he cut in on their dads. No, he's he falls

very hard. Well, but yes, okay, but there was the part where he was like Jordan is he called him literally the worst person I've ever met. Yeah, yeah you might, Yeah, exactly, you met Leo Jordan's You know, Jordan may not be the worst person I've ever met, but he's definitely crazy, right, Oh yeah, for sure. But even with Chelsea, he was like, I think Chelsea and I are meant for each other, and it's like, I know he goes, he goes. I think I could see a future with her. I like kids,

they all fall. I mean, if we want to get ahead, let's get to go quick, Anna les Okay, okay, well, I don't know why is somebody going for Chelsea? I don't yet. She's really sweet, he's really sweet, beautiful. Maybe she has a kid's because she's not a feeling. She might be a little dull. All right, you know the woman is a single mom. That would I mean, she's hot as nobody's smoke show. No one is smoke shows. Christ I get that you're hot for a mom. You're

a real smoke show. He's like, isn't She will be like yep, He's like, right, smoke show, right show. Don't ever call me a smoke show with her face though, I don't know what is the show? Just like you're so hot, you're smoking hot your smoke shop. It's a weird and maybe it's something they say in Chicago. No, it's for like groty guys. I've heard Grody said it. All right, he's allowed, he's allowed. He I feel like someone taught him that. Yeah, like they said it once.

And he goes that's a good contact. I think, Well, then I'm like, are you chasing the cheese? The cheese is a smoke show? Wait minute? And then so then Jana goes on a date with Connor. Connor shows up Crystal Janet, I said, I'm saying about j J Okay, wait, okay, So so Crystal is with Chris and um they kiss a lot and he goes the Goose is cooked, which I just I can't he gave himself that nickname this year out He was on this season like two months ago,

nobody called him the Goose. He came back this summer. He sounds up dead at the end of Top Gun, like, why would you thank you? I forgot about that thank you? What's that where he got the name from? I never really he referencing Karate Kid. Yeah, he's got like all his movies mixed up. I buy that he mixed it up Karate Kid and Top Guns. He's like, isn't it the same movie? I don't know, Alerk, what's on your list that you want to talk about? Do you want

to talk about Connor and Crystal? Uh? Yeah, well that's so yeah, that's a mess, right, that Chris Connor Crystal triangle is a mess. But I have to say, like the thing where she comes up and just sits down on the lap of whatever guy it is she's talking to and like plays with his hair, and it's very it would freak me out. I mean, the only situation I've ever seen that is during my one or two visits during batchelor parties to strip clubs where like, you know,

but there's a fairly clear thing. It's like, Okay, these women would like, do you know, dance for twenty dollars or whatever it is. But here it's like it's so clearly manipulative, but it works, yeah, because she looks good into bikini. She worked for two months on her ass plan to get her ass ready, and he said, it's very important to him. This is one of the most important things. Is asked, and uh and he said the two months plan. The button. He said, that's one of

the most important things to me. That was at the top and she said anyway, um yeah, And then they go does she sit on people's laps and play with their hair? So it starts out and she's sitting on Chris's lap telling her telling him how like she doesn't want to go on a date with anybody else, and then Connor shows up and she said, well, I came here to meet Connor. I guess I will go out with Connor. And she goes out with Connor, and it was like that was weird, Like the back and forth

it was super weird. It was not. It was certainly not a I felt like she was at least being more. I actually feel like Crystals behaved herself in Paradise and that I felt that she was up front. She said, I would want you to know if I went out with you, I would be thinking about him. And he took it the wrong way and was like, she said she wouldn't go out with him. It's like no, she said, if if you pick me, I'll be thinking about him.

And then he was like, I don't care. I want to take you anyway, and she was like okay, which may or may not have been the nicest, and well she was like, I was thinking about him. Well, I was making out hard with you, Like yeah, because I don't really think she was, you know, honestly, I think that she was making out with Connor. She was not thinking about I think she was thinking about this. It was awesome. I'm making out a Connor. She's been very

cute in Paradise. Her little outfits have been very cute. But that outfit she wore on her date was crazy. I didn't even know they made bikini tops there were like it covered like her it was nothing like covered

her nipple and then it tied around. I'm like wn, I'm like, that's like a date to go to dinner, Like I didn't even understand how that was there Again, they went to the water like they went to some weird ritual where they were like and he was like bang at the moon, like I'm so not muscles a mystical evening. And she said, I love magic. She loves

the magic. I've never seen her more at home, being like buried and like chanted over and there were so many black bars covering her ass, which they can't all be like can I just like those black squares over? They totally fake. I mean, unless she's got like a ton of pubes coming out. I wish it's like, oh, you know what, I caught my ass ready, but I forgot to get a wax. It's busy turning up my ass. That the front is just like I can feelish one.

I think they exaggerate it or if like your swimsuit like rides up into your butt, and even if they love it, like how far up your bone have to ride before? I think some of them some of them are pretty small. So they go out, they go to on a mystical adventure and they get buried and he's crawling around and like howling at the moon. She goes, I am so zend out right now. I am not a staid and then he carries her into the water and they dry hump in the See, m hm, he's growdy.

I don't like Connor. I liked that Tea was calling him out that he had a champagne flute and that was my favorite thing. Win I'm not going to talk my boyd And she's like, I like that was my favorite to that moment where she's right and he had so much she leave it and he had it. She had pain flute filled with tequila. Was that he finally came to a place where he could have his shirt unbuttoned all the way down. It would be absolutely ridiculous because he'd been doing that all year anyway. And he

threw the frame. We already knew he was like a hothead weirdo. There's a lot of hot head. It's like, what frat were you in the framethrower? Did you see that? Yeah? Yeah, I saw that from from the early and that last season, made the ship nest. He made the ship nest cry. He made chit nest cry. It wasn't nice. No, it wasn't nice. Even if it's in the ship nest. It wasn't nice. Okay. So then Jordan's is freaking out because she's off with ben Watt. He says, the wind change

direction and went straight to ben Wah. He says, I don't know even love it first sight, but I believe in love at site Jenna and Jordan's um and he was like, can I talk to you by the hot tub? Ben Wah? And He's like, words and actions aren't matching. Um, I pretty much dragged my foot across ben Wah's bag yet, is it? What he said? So I'm not front. So I would like to talk about about the briefcase. Oh yeah, okay, let me see if I can find it, and then

the LV bag yeah yeah yeah. And I would just like to ask everybody if they if they're like, what would your bag be? Oh? I was thinking mine, So this isn't travel, this isn't an overnight bag. Well so this was right there, Like so the question they're like, you've got your briefcase, what's in the briefcase passion passion, passion in my briefcase, yes, really in my base And I was like, you know, what would my bag baby, And they're like, oh, you'd have like a like a

Duffel bag, Like that's like an lv bag. Like okay, I think I's still with my head shots said filling head shots. It's like, wait, you're a football player, why do you need head shot head shot? Yeah, but it's an LVY bag. And then I was like I want to and I'm like, oh, man, I wonder what my bag would be. So I fear that it would be like a canvas toad bag. No, I feel like you would have a cute backpack. It might be a cute bag. Might you would have a really cute with that one

with the lining that company. Yeah, if it's just like a travel bag for a travel bag, I would have which I do at Herschel Duffel already have that, Yeah, filled with pillow. You wouldn't be you wouldn't be a canvas toad like some stupid or to bag. You might be some like high tech like someone that has like that has like um where you know, like I feel like you be something like on thinkingness like pockets and

squares and like charging stations. Yeah, it would be like like I could have I could have one a Jeff Crystals one. I can have something from Voltaic with a solar panel, solar panel back we can charge the device. There we go, what would I for Voltaic for our friend Jeff Crystal. Yes, Jeff Crystal makes these basar backpacks for years before anybody else. It comes to a charge. Yeah, you can charge it. Yeah, it's quite think you didn't even charge a laptop. Can you take it on the airplane?

Good question, because sometimes now with those new away suitcases and has a charge for it, they lose their minds at t s A. That's a bummer. They banned some of that they make the business. That is not what I would want in my luggage, just guaranteed, well, I don't know what I would be literally a cute clutch filled with cats. Oh my god, Oh my god, a cat bag, one of the only one of those backpacks where the cat sits in there. And can we just talk about our first cat, our first podcast last week

in the house. How crazy Keith was He never was a Keith trying to get out of Keith was going as if he's allowed outside. He was, and Keith and me out we're going, but me, I was like scratching. It was awful. Okay, So Kenny and Annelie's it was the weirdest. Let's talk for one second about Let's talk for one second about John, and they're like okay. And there when Jubilie we chatted, it's like, wait a minute, so quick he told her so apparently he told her

I'm not that into you. We just saw her when she didn't even take a bye. We just saw her wheeling her suitcase away. That went by so quick. I feel like I looked down, I was eating dinner and looked up and she was going. It was like literally they showed like a little flashback of him saying, I think would be better if we were just friends. They showed him saying it. It was yeah, she showed up

pretty recently. We should be positives, keep talking. She They they were like, so it was the programmer and this like lady programmer who had been in the Marines, And we were like, we thought they were going to fall in love and get married. Yeah, I mean she took him from Caroline. I feel like he hasn't really he's jumped around a lot. You think he's so psyched to just make out with everyone. He's the programmer who's just psyched to be near people. How rich do you think

he is? Oh? How rich is a person who created He doesn't work at venmo anymore, so he called himself a programmer. He made the app. He was number six at Venmo. I looked it up. So he made them he made the mobile app. Yeah, how much do you think he had? It's hard to say. Um, you know now he's like number three and another big startup. I googled him. I need to know what you guess. I mean, I've got no idea. I mean, I don't know has

Venomo had an exit where they sold? Did they go public or they still just sort of I don't think they're public. I don't know. I've had an idea. What we could look it up on crunch base. Okay, so Kenny and Annalye's he's got to go to his daughter's dance recital. You know, I like Kenny, like you know what. The dancer side was probably on the calendar before he signed up for this thing. Yeah, that's true. He wasn't going to make it that far. Maybe I don't know,

like maybe he was feeling trapped by nies. Yeah, maybe he just wanted out. I don't know. To me, it was it was kind of lame. It was like like, yeah, you're right, sure they've had he his daughter on before and she was like super supportive him doing this. I mean she's older, she's like four. I mean he is a single parent. He's the only parent. But like, but like it's been on the calendar. It's like a two

week thing. And maybe he was just getting captured by analy unless you know, she unless his daughter game a really hard time before he left, and it was like, I can't believe you're missing you know, my my decital, like and he went anyway, okay, if I can see it, Yeah, I have more information on John. So he was actually the fifth active employee of the company. But then in Or moved to finn which is an application that's like an artificial intelligence butler. All right, have you heard of that?

No peer anyway, So so Venmo, the other robot. Venmo was started for not much money and sold for not that much money in two thousand and twelve to Braintree, which is now on my PayPal. We looked it up so um. So he might have ended up with some PayPal stock that would be oh, there you go, that'll do it public and all right that okay? Then that that would do it. He might have a little money. So Annelie Annalie's God bless her. Antalie's weeping, weeping about Kenny.

Why I just want my person? Why weeping? He's going away? There's nobody here for me. And then the twenty seconds later Camille shows up. He's the sixty forty guy and he goes, I would never say that to a girl in real life. It's like he said. She was like, I'm fifty fifty and then he was like, he goes or sixty forty and he took a step back. He was like come to me and she was like bye, yeah, and then like he walked away and she's like sixty forty.

And he got cut night one because he was I think my number one pick and then he got cut night one. He was a lot of our villain pick or crazy pick. Yeah. So he so they show up, he takes analysa on the date and are you going on deepun job? Yeah, it's saying he's worth about five million because he started his own app, Teleportante, which was a drawing app. The Internet says, I'm worth like twenty Things are never right, Can I just tell you. I like, there was like a network thing. I was like, I

wish that was accurate. I did one TV I can to guarantee you. Yeah, it's not the case. I wish I was accurate. Um, I'm worth a billion dollars. I was eight billion Ikea lamps. That's true. Um. So she goes out with Camille and who's just her type? Oh my god. And she was the one that was freaking out on bumper cars. You know they planned that date for her to cry. I think they wanted to freak out.

And then she just loved it. It was like, once she's getting attention from a man, she's like, I'll drive across this crazy rope bridge in Mexico in this crazy jeep that looked really scary. I think I wouldn't have done it. I would know it. I did not want to do that. I would I would probably have done it just because I would have felt like all the social pressure to do it, but I wouldn't have wanted to. I wouldn't want it to do that and she was like crying at bumper cars and like it just shows

you if she has male attention. Dude. They were clearly built that for her to cry in front of Camille, and she was like loving it. She also was driving so crazy that it was freaking Camille out, Like Camille was having his phone traumatic. I just realized this now, like they found the scariest car thing they could find, and she totally roast the challenge. She scared him. She scared him and was like, quite honestly a pretty fun date.

Like I felt like that's what's interesting about her is for somebody who cries a lot, she's actually like a good sport when she's going yeah, yeah, I think so. But she's a she's an interesting character. Our yeah, um, all all those things. But she's so all in. It's just like I'm all my not Kenny, and it's like Camilla is the one, and she was all on the door.

They had like the you know her her confessional speaking over like after their first kiss and she goes, we're one of the most like what she's like one of the strongest, one of the strongest couples here, And I was like, you guys, just kiss do you remember made She doesn't care. She doesn't care. Side note about the briefcase thing, he said, you have my briefcase, and I don't like your little French fingers going through my things. It's amazing. That's an amazing it was an amazing moment.

It's an amazing has the best quotes. He's amazing. Okay. Side note. One of our listeners emailed us she met him. She met him. Oh my god, I didn't email you. I've been so crazy. I called Anna and left her an insane message. Yeah, will you play the message? Get this happened yesterday. This is a message I left one for Debbie Ryan to This is yesterday, like at noon, midday working. Jordan's said, take what podcast? Jordan's said, they

look at the podcast. Jordan's the podcast. Oh my god. Okay, goodbye, okay, okay, okay, okay, so okay, goodbye, Okay. So this lady, one of our fans met him at some charity event, got a picture with him. She said it was really nice. She's like, they're obsessed with you. They why are you the podcast? They be and drinking out of those mugs if he does it, and yeah, oh my god, anything you got that thoughtful gentleman mugg. Yes, yes, from another fan, that's him,

that Jordan. Yeah, I noticed, Oh my god, he's the best. Um. Okay, So and in fact, you could make mug buns. You can be like your mug is online mug. Oh my god. And then we can get a picture of me in Jordan and make a mug. We get all the bugs we can hold, he told, a mug of Doorgan mugs, and then get a picture of us on the mugs. It would be the best thing ever. Um. So let's talk about we should sell those photos on the mugs.

Oh my god, the shots our Okay, let's talk about Canadian Kevin going crazy with Astrid for a moment there once before I understood what was happening. So he was like, you know what, I think. She's like, god, I'm so happy seven days. He was like seven years. He's like me too, you know, would be really great if you dated some other guys. She's like wait what And I'm like, is he like, does he like only get turned on of like She's like he just feel like there's like

no competition. Then when I understood, like, okay, this guy goes to therapy twice a week. He's been public once. It felt quite creepy out of the gate, but then when he started to say, like he's been all in on two ladies, I was wrong. Somebody emailed I thought he was the bachelor, he won the bachelorette, and then she broke his heart. I get I think I was literally like, did Ashley eyes virginity put this guy didn't therapy two times a week? Oh my god? Broke you

know what? It probably didn't help. It probably didn't help because he took the virginity and and then she could stare it. Do you think she's like mad about that? Do you think she's like, if I had just held out, Jared maybe would have come around. He could know Jared, No, it was too off putting. He couldn't have taken her virginity as soon as she became non Ever, when she cleared the door, he cleared just think once he takes

cold virginity virgin um. And so he made the TV set for them on the beach for them to hang out. That was cute. I think they're going to get engaged. If anybody really I really like them. I think a really good couple. I think she is very She's just smart. She's like, you know, guy, I like her. I like her a lot. I am concerned though, next week when Ashley I and Jared proposed or whatever in front of like, I didn't even think of that needs his therapist as Apple.

He took the virginity of this crying vision on Winter Games. They were like the color. They were actually a very cute couple. He was mad enough for her. And then the man that she stalked for years because he looked like Aladdin came back from Australia with the deal, but she just legs and put a ring on it. Finally broken. Yeah, Aleric, what do you have to say? Are you getting tired? No? I don't know to say that. Okay, about that, Okay,

here we go, moving along. Let's get to Eric's date with Angela where the person was walking behind them scattering rose petals in the hotel. How do you get a date like that? It's so crazy, how much how much seafood was waiting for that ice cream tub that kind of made me want to puke, and then they followed it with cheese. Because after I've eaten a tub of ice cream, what I really want is some and then like all the cookies in the background, which they didn't

even touch it. I was watching and then all the champaign. I was like just looking at how much food was being wasted. I thought about all those like that, all that seafood that die like Alexa vegetarian too, ye, yes they all are. I was really upset. I don't really care about animals though, same, Yeah I did. I I was upset. I actually and I were very did that did seafood? I felt like that's the thing is. Also with the hot dogs they brought out, I was like,

you're not gonna eat twenty hot dogs. That's going to get My friend Cheryl in college ate a Mexican hot dog and had diarrhea for like seven months. I just got I remember her saying, never eat a Mexican dog. Diarrhea for seven months. I'm sure she d the el said Mega Resort in mazow in Mexico, she had a street hot dogs. Well, she said it felt like it had a vein in it. It's vegetarian. Now she beca doesn't eat meat. What does that? I don't know. I

know she's vegetarian now. I think that pushed her awake when Paget said she went there in a terrible plumbing. Oh, by the way, I've been to Saloom. You have to like throw your toilet paper in the trash care apparently what they're doing Mexican because it's well, not all of it, not no, no, it's more when it's like the eco resorts, like it's the ones that look like the huts. Yeah, it's crazy. These countries don't have great pipes. That's what. Honestly,

it makes sense. My fancy office building in Brazil had a little sign that basically asked you to do that, and I remember being like, no, I'm an American. Yeah, that's what I get in trouble a lot in Neuron because they're like, Okay, we're just gonna have to sort it out. Can I say my favorite part of The Pot of Pot My favorite part of the show was when they finally got to the road ceremony and Chris Harrison, the corpse of Chris Harrison walked up and Jordan goes, Chris,

put your pocket square up. That was incredible. Uh, yeah, that was incredible. I think my favorite part might have been, um when when uh, when Harry Lee Schreiber was like, was like Paradise needs to burn to the ground. And then when he was screaming, he was like, I'd like to make to make a toast, Like I'd like to make a toast. Here's a toast, here's to uh he he said? What did he say? Oh, I'm really okay. There was a little arttel because I kept beeping it

all out. Yeah, I can turn down the eight c um When he was like, okay, here's to Kendall. Basically he was like basically like here's to Kendall, being like a little bitch or whatever, like it's likely here are lying. Yeah, yeah, Kendall. Oh yeah, he goes here to is he goes, Kendall, great first day. Here's hoping that you, um you find someone too. It's a shame to find out you're full of ship. That's what he said. I thought it was fascinating that when they pulled out they were sitting right

next to each other. I was like, they were yeah, they were sitting. She was sitting It was it was Leo, Kendall, John and Joe was in the background, and I was like, why is that happening? It was weird. I was like that, first of all, she's right next to you. Also, how do you think this is Everyone's gonna be like, you're right like going home and he's just like he's like, I'm gonna burn this down. I think they just like people just telling like that, I like how much air

time or you're like, I'm gonna be the best. I did it on purpose. I played them. It's like you are clearly trying to get air time. You know you played yourself with that hair. You did play yourself. That was so kendall sweet, like like what a class list son of a gun? Oh, it was still compelling. Television was um, did you tell your coworkers what you did today? As I walked out, I told you want four hours?

Last night I watched like three hours now. I had watched most of Monday nights Monday night, but I fell asleep because I was super tired from the flight. Yeah, So then I I was kind of watching that and then actually for a while I was watching two episodes at the same time because there wasn't that much overlap. And I figured, anyway, do you have you touched JJ? But I haven't talked to j J about it. I

just tested it out. J j Uh. Yeah, I told my co founder John Mayfield, and he said that I was coming to do this, and he said that his wife had just watched this last night. Perhaps she might like to listen to the podcast. And I said, well, maybe not the one I'm going to be one. And then he said, you never continue, you know, you never continue to cease to surprise me. Here you got things, and thenies we we had a wait a moment. You're high five and someone wheeled in some cheese. So can

I ask a question? What's the story? What's the backstory to the whole cheese thing? I felt like that cheese was reverencing from the week before. It was Eric and Ken me just sitting down. They started it started out was like a quick metaphor, and then they talked about it and they edited it in. It was like them for seven minutes going, look, somebody moves your cheese. For so long you're like a lot of raps and just sit there, going where does the cheese come about? What's

the cheese coming back? You gotta move with the cheese, Like all right, I get it. But then it went on and then it went on and on, and so when I first saw the book, who Moved My Cheese? Which we got for for Willie. Well, I assumed it was. It was a little thing because of you. Here's a storry about our dad, So I, like, I immediately thought of my father, but I didn't think of it as a metaphor. Like my father, if he had some cheese and you moved it, he would be very upset. He obsessed.

He was obsessed with his weight. I will never forget hearing there was a ham. There was a rusty hammer that was out on our countertops for like one summer, and then somebody like put it away because it was in the kitchen. It was an old rusty hammer. And then I heard him one day go, goddamn it, Oh move my cookie hammer. We're like cookie, cookie ham. He was like cookie. He did not appreciate it when you moved his cookie hammer. He had been buying. He was

obsessed with his way. He had been a heavy set child, and he was tortured by his way. Even he wasn't he was a perfectly normal sized guy, but he would buy gigantic dinner plate sized cookies and then get super stale, so stale he would age them on top of the refrigerator that they were so hard. He couldn't take a bite, so that he would have to eat him slower. He would need a hammer to break a piece up, and then he would dunk it in tea because it was

so fucking hard that you couldn't eat it. He'd have to like suck it. And perhaps the only example of him ever being eco conscious, he also reused his plastic drink king straws and so, yeah, the whole thing, You'll be like, who moved my straw? That that's my straw soda cuz in a bendy straw. Every story I've heard about your father is the most interesting thing I've ever heard. Like he truly is the most fasting, Like every story

like what but I saw the book. Yeah, I saw the book and I was like, who moved my cheese? And and then at some point as I was looking and I was like, oh, this is some sort of like big metaphor. But like to me, it was like no, like it doesn't need to be a metaphor. Like if it was my father's cheese and you moved it, yea, it really ruined his day. Who moved my cheese? Yes to j J? J J? Did you move my cheese? J J? How do you expel your name? Yeah, it's like,

how do you feel about Jane's your nickname? I love like a j J. It makes her young j J. She sed it. She signed her email her dating profile. You're trying to spell yes j J J J A from myran. Okay, sorry, it turns out my sister is one of those people who like obsessively just no, I just because I never have guessed. I haven't. I haven't had a house that could have guests in so many years that I don't know how to roll with people. My wife does this. There's a lot of like, what's

the what's the to him? I get said to seventy, she said, could you make it sixty nine? Yeah, she's right, She's right. That's how my boyfriend what what? What's it is? The fan on? I'm like, I don't know, make a medium? She's right, j I just want everybody to feel good. I can't believe I don't have proper snacks for you guys. I was getting his ship together today. Okay, let's say about the hot dog. Let's say with the hot dogs

with Colton and Tea. That was cute. That was the first time they actually seem happy it was like a sweet thing that was cute. It was cute. She was like, that's creating hot dogs and he gave me hot and watching them workout on the beach, it was actually I was like, oh, they actually seemed like a cute girl. They really do come around on them. He seems like he likes her to he did. He does seem like he liked her. So I was like, or he sends

a message that she now doesn't think he's gay. Once she saw the hot dog, when she saw him putting weeners on her, Yeah, she just felt like the whole thing. She felt like he actually seemed no, he really seemed the like her. And also you had wrote up like uh, Chris Harrison when he walked in and Jordan telling him about the thing. But she was like, like that suit on you and he and I saw, I said cold looks at her like what but he did look good.

And that's it. So I've been trying to read my own handwriting, my long and in fact the thing that is I scribbled. I remember when I wrote. I was like, I don't know if I'm in a bed to read that, but it's all right, I'll remember, but I don't but it was. It was the other favorite moment, which is the very end, when when he was talking about the fact that he apparently never wears underweard, oh yeah, that that he never wears under. I knew a guy that

never were ever think about Mary. Al you got caught in Dr Denton's when we were kids, didn't you. It was horrible. Thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten about the doctor dam I kid like was it? Asked her there She said something like how he was like, oh, I caught it once, and then she goes, is that why you don't use it? Yeah? I didn't love it.

I love that. I couldn't stop laughing. There was something about Mary where Ben still kid yeah, and that closed up looking at it was the means of the Frank So I have this written down and it was related to that, and it just says like that's according to my notes. It says that's how electro box sacks. Wait what it says that's how electro bot SATs. I don't. I don't think that's what it really is. Yeah, yeah, but that's what I can read. I know, I know

several guys that don't wander. We're actually now I'm thinking about it, like, like how a lot of like friends in college I remember like them talking to me like, no, I don't worrunder. I feel like in college people don't want underwear would but if you're a professional, I mean he needs just how he said he wears him when he works out. How about the fact that Kevin wears something like he sticks his balls and stuff. That's so Canadian most I didn't understand that. It was like that

feels like the toast of like West Hollywood. Like when you say that's so Canadian, I don't even know. But it sounds like like a technology that was just created.

Don't you stand it. It's like a little like holder and they're so gay to me, It's like they like it seems like if they just have like it seems like it's something that you're attached to your pants, don't I'm completely guessing the way how I imagine something that attaches to your pants, Like it's almost like you have like those things that you can attach to cover your cleavage,

like a dicky, like a dickie something like that. Or it's like it's like a bolly, like it's like a ball literally a hammock that it's actually it's a it's a banana hammock. Yeah, but it's just a time picture. I pictured like this sort of a brief that has like a pouch that you dropped your sack in that's sort of separate. Yeah, and set that's like a separate like nut sack thing. Like I pictured like a tight like bikini brief with a separate pouch that you stick

your sack at. Alerc What did you picture? I tried not to picture it in any great detail because it would have involved but with that that piece for if you don't want it seems like it's something you use if you don't want to wear underwear. Oh, I felt like he because I felt like he was. I thought he was saying he has a special underwear that holds

his ball separate. I don't know. Email us if you like, email us when he doesn't want to wear underwear, like like the nipple covers like the nipple covers ball sock. That's what you thought it was, because it's Canada, that's what she it was, you know. I thought it was like a bikini brief for a man that has a special extra pouch that kind of like keeps your sack. Actually I know. I did think it was like a weird ball song, just like Kevin and be like, you

just send us a picture of here. I never know how this balsa guy, we're balzack. I need to know your sack, sau send you one. Okay, wait, so now we know that Angela. Okay, I don't like that Angela and Angela and Eric were all in. He's like, I'm all in. He also guess let her and then he was like, no, I told you I was here. Was like, I can't stop. Oh my god, that's right. She showed up and she was like and then he was like, no, no, I yeah, I was all in, but I told you

and I woke up. I changed my mind. That was better. And then he went on the date with that girl. Do we see their date also? It no? No, yeah, there's when there's two I say, the next a lot right, yeah, also one Pablo season. I mean, come on, I don't even remember. I don't either. She's twenty six and she was the first Paradise. I think that was a long time.

She's a kid too. Yeah, that's what I was saying, which means she's probably like in her late thirties and sayce she's five since she was like twenty ships twenty one when she was on the show. Yeah, that's what I think. Aleric, what do you have to say? This is the one that went on the day with Eric. Eric went on with Angela, and then Eric woke up in the morning when somebody with big boobs, Joe goes, I think, you know, she's pretty scot big boobs, she'll

probably do well here of grocers. Joe Onnest answer, he's right. You know, when Eric was on that crazy day with all the with all the shell necklace, with that shell necklace. Once, I remember thinking, oh I remember, because I actually remember Eric because that was the other yeah, exactly miracle season. I was like, oh, you know, I remember Eric. He seemed uncomplicated and optimistic and nice, and it's hard not

to like Eric. He started like cute and charming, and then as he said, and then he's like, goes on this great day and she said it makes me feel like a princess. And then the next day is like baby got back, yeah, yeah, and yeah, and then there was I was like, oh, yeah, I mean, to be fair, he didn't seem like he was madly in Loved With With with Angela, but they seemed like, you know, he was he was welcome to open Huy. He's not going to be mean about it. He literally just sees it

like oh well, like you can't stop him. But it's like, what are you doing? Yeah, where to see that? As a lady, you kind of want to arrive late. It's tough because you well, it's also right right, you know, like all right, so the new person arrives. You survived by being you know, like all coupled up, right, And so the newer arrives and they're like, oh, you know, you're really you're gonna have a tough time because everyone's

all coupled up. And then but it turns out that a lot of these couples are like, yeah, I've been coupled up until until something better comes along, and like that's how the show is set up. And you know, and and I guess, you know, you just sort of have to accept that it's a it's a mean, it's a mean. It's basically I think they also know they do it on purpose, Like they know it's like okay,

Alaric's with Susie, but they know Al's real hot. For teacher with daniel So but Alex Susie have fallen in love and they're like they're actually going strong, but like but they know just when your guard is down. It's like, because daniel you read it interfere, they ask you who you want? Yeah, they know, they know what you said, and they're like, oh, ship, I didn't think Danielle was coming. And it's also like I had to say just to

get a roast to stay here. Yeah. I also did enjoy a side note after get out of here, Tarzan, we don't need your drama. I enjoyed Crystal saying I have stage upstairs and crystals. I can go get them and we could smudge this place. Yea. I also also liked Jordan doing his hair and make up into the camera when he started talking. That was amazing. That was

an amazing amazing. In fact, I'm going one further and to say that I think it's so meta that like he he wanted that part to also make I think he wanted that part to edit it in like like, I think he's thrilled that they edited him his his preening before his fake reaction. It's awesome. I this Ralph Garman does our podcast. He and I both agree. We think he is the greatest character fiction or nonfiction, who

has ever been on a television program. Better than anybody, like on the Wire, better than any you know, Like this is the greatest character ever on television. Okay, might be the most. I know. People always say he is doing an act, but I feel so genuine Sincere wears all his emotions on his sleep. But he's upset. He's upset, I mean like dog yeah, yeah, no, no, I agree with you. He agree with you. I think he's and

then he like he did truly show remorse. Yeah, like he like was like and he had said in this episode, he goes, I've been a good boy lately. He's very sweet, like he's very protective. No, when he's a hothead, it's not it's not good, it's it's actually is like he's something he's actually working on. And you can see that he is bonkers for her. Did you see it? Like he was like it showed like him and David just

having like a normal conting. What is happening? Because because Jenna said that she was like happy to be with him and David, David said to her, like yeah, it was very weird. Um. So here's Crystal. So Chris send up a yoga Matt and he's like, I'm gonna you're gonna teach me how to do yoga and she goes, you're gonna make me work? Was I don't. I loved it. Also kind of felt bad for Chris because I was like, oh, I think he was actually trying. I know I do too,

and he was just like, oh, she likes right. He woke her up and she's like in her underwear and then he goes, um, I definitely no, Mi mistaid way harder than Connor did. There's a lot of Nomastaid jokes. But then she actually was very sweet and gave him a nice I have to say, she's been she got into it, and she is kind of foxy. L she's super foxy. She's super foxy if that was your And she's super manipulative with men because she's super foxy and

she knows that it works, and yeah, she is. You're you know, you didn't even see the season and you're dead on. She's super manipulative and super foxy. Yeah, and you know, just that's part of I think, like how very attractively the way able to go through life differently in the rest of it. Why is no one going for Chelsea the single mom. I don't know, you could just be you know, just kind of game strategy stuff, like she's not clicking with anyone. I mean, Bibiona didn't

click with anyone. Yeah, something just happens our final thing here. So then we have John and Chelsea. Chelsea gave John just everyone was kissing Chelsea. Chelsea gave John the rose, and then up shows Olivia Olivia. No, no, Olivia is the one that made so that was Cassandra. Cassandra is the one that went with Eric. Olivia was the girl, the black girl. Okay, yeah, so she's from one Papla or Nossandra's from one Pablo. Olivia was cut night one from Aria. So they so they crashed a Kissinia and

at first it really looked like nobody wanted them there. Yeah, that was weird. When they walked on stage, I was like, nobody wanted them at that party, did not. It did not look like it actually had been set up at the producer how what, I don't know what that felt like. It was like Horges friends. They were like, hey, we never talked about the fact that Horree was like they had him, I wrote a book, and then that he

was also in the square. When Colton and TiO win in on their date, hones to Hayes, I meanses, I don't know, and then um, he seems to be I feel like they used him as a liaison. I know. I think they also feel bad that they replaced him, and they feel like they liked me too too. So then um, Chris is talking to Olivia and says not like Chris is talking to Chelsea and says, John is a horror you got a hot mom? I would um, I would have what did you feel like? I would

have hit that? What did he say? This is where he says smoke show and she's a smoke show to her face, and there was like Chris, am I right, yeah, my right, christ right, So so weird. But John was pretty curious. So John was that He's like, nobody's better, and it goes She's like, it's cute that he can't dance, and he goes nobody and I mean nobody cuts off

the dance floor like a programmer does for real. Though he is like he's just going after everyone, and it's kind of like because I'm like, John, you're so cute and you seem so sweet, like, don't turn into a horror you know, like like, don't overdo it. He's so psyched. What do you think? Um, there's a great little novel called The Nobles about a guy who is a programmer who had made some money in a software startup and his troubles with women, which I will just if anyone

should it good? Yeah, it's quite it's quite a good book. Um, it's it's it's not super long. Sometimes I wonder if it's like guys who are stand ups and they get really successful and then they like to think the programmers

just go for like only sort of the MODELI type girls. No, it's it's more along the lines of like you know that he that they just don't understand and other people very well, like anybody and and so h and particularly women, right, I can see that and so uh and so when they finally connect with one, you know, and and it gets messed up in any way, then they're back to sort of like they just don't get other. That's when he was saying. He was like, oh, there's different types

of that intelligence. Yeah, I buy that, Because he was like, and that's kind of what I need. He kind of implied that he needed more social intelligence. Yeah, and I think that is I think that is true of a lot of programmers and and you know, and and probably men in general. But yes, anyway, if if anyone's looking for a good literary recommendation, it's called the unknowable. Is it good? It is good? All right? Um, do you

guys have anything you want to promote? Al are you going to finish I think it's only like two more episodes or are you going to finish watching the season so you me and j J can talk? I might Yeah, that's yeah, there's two more weeks, so four more episodes, so scary. Next week there's like, yeah, the people the Old East come back. Yeah, but their babies GIRs. Yeah, that's gonna be a buzz on the romance. Right then, in a minute, let's not go to the what do

they call it the boom boom room. We're talking. Oh, I know, it doesn't feel like people are humping as much this year, and let's are just not showing it. It doesn't but it doesn't have a sexy like it really doesn't feel like they're because before, before the scandal last year, it really felt like it was just a They even showed people sometimes where they would say, hey, we want like the bang room tonight, which is weird that there's only one room and they're all just having sex.

Emence before, I feel like before they would all just like cuple off and like they would just have to like hide. They did try to hide from the camera, Yeah, I remember that was just maybe they're just not showing it because of what happened. That smart, but it doesn't feel like sexes in the because they would say like good morning, as if they were just seeing each other. I feel like the only time they implied when Astrid

said she spent the night with Yeah, what's his name Kevin? Yeah? So, and and she has said that she wakes up with Colton. But I mean, they clearly aren't having sex, but they're sleeping together. So can I just pull y'all? Like one of my main reactions in watching the show is to

be just scandalized. Okay that and you know, and it's true that as someone from New England that that I am the cultural descendant of a Puritan, right, like really like I didn't really appreciate this growing up, but the more I spend time anywhere besides New England, the more I realized they sent to wheres like, oh yes, it's you know, it is a very brutish place to be. Uh. And I am, I am, I am scandalized by all

of this, all of this is this is this? How is this how dating works with millennial I mean, I don't know, but I don't think so. I mean I also, you know, I got married before the invention of Tinder, So um, I think if you want, I think, if you really, I think if you are single and you want to get laid, you can get laid weight easier now Tinder exists because you can say on Tinder, I'm just looking for a one night you know. So I

think that it's easier everything. Yeah, because I would imagine it also, like so if you're with somebody, it's like the fear that they're just gonna want to go, like it's so easy for them to the Other thing which is weird about the show, right, is the extent to which it's this this this crazy combination by design of

you know, serial monogamy, right, which is my generation. I'm not sure if millennials are doing this, but but my generation, it was like it was basically serial monogamy, right, you would have there would be a boyfriend and girlfriend, and then you would be pretty much by definition, you know, like monogamous with each other until you moved on to the next sort of monogamous situation and then eventually, you know, you get married and then But this is like a

combination of that in the sense that like, okay, you know we're coupled up and like and and it's just us too, it's and then I might and then I might move to another couple because you need to always have somebody at the end of the dance or you're gonna get you know, sent home. Right, I think it's I was designed to create serial monogamy, but at the same time, it's also designed to stir it up. And like, I mean, people do a lot of different people at

the same time. Now, I think it's a lot of different people doing a lot of different people until until they settled out, they're always anything like I'm staying open. Yeah, I'm staying open. Can the young people tweet at us and what us know? What you're doing? Hey young people, I'm the youngest, but even I because I was raised by like Uranian immigrants. I have a more conservative view like I don't. I'm also terrified of all human beings and one boyfriend in hand. He is not allowed to

speak to any women. Yeah, I think I don't speak to I think that's why we all get along. We all have a social anxiety, but we're safe under all these lamps. Back when I could have dated like that, nobody wanted to date me. So I had waited that Anthony, And I'm fine, I said, such a fear of I've always had such a fear of socially transmitted diseases. I was the kissing bandit. I have made out with a lot of people, but I did not ever get mono.

That's fine. I did not want to set off. Do you really remember that in school kids get to take a month off. I was so terrified that I was going to get some disease and I just couldn't sleep around. Uh yeah, yeah, I tried. I made you go with me to get an AIDS test. I was always convinced. I was like always, and it's like I think I'd had sex like once, you know, with with protection. I'm like, oh my god, and we're like we went to we went to Washington Square Park. Are you gonna getting a

flute flu shot this year? Speaking of needles? No, you got you had the flu this year. Yeah, so you know what you're in for. And I always get the flu shot because I used to work at a daycare and we had to and so ever since then, I just I got it because it was and now I have nephew, so I have to get it learned machines more so, it's better for like younger people and older people. You're all right, maybe I'll get stop you from maybe I'll get it. Had the flu I was horrible. Do

we have tweets of the week? You could do that? We do this. Okay, I'm gonna read a few emails and then we're gonna do this and we'll be done. You guys. First of all, thank you so much to everybody. Or do you have anything one from both? Um? Not? No, you know, not particularly. I mean I already get people a book recommendation. How do people find your find company? Swift dot com it's like Swift but with a disease. E W I F T dot com. It is awesome. It is super fun. If you know anybody who is

really into cycling or running. We now do running on a cycling. My spin bike just broke though, I have to find anyone. So yeah, it's it's like that, except this basically a video game experience and you can race against other people, race against other people, and we have it's really cool. It's actually like legit so cool, right, it's really I do. It's my favorite thing is to

like have a distraction. Yeah, it's design for distraction that most of the people on there are either current or former bike racers, and so they go really fast, so it's really well yeah, but it's like this, this, this, this there, there are there rise design for more social things. There's also great workout plans that you can do. Um, but meanwhile you're going to be passed by like literally literally like World Tour riders you're coming through. Yeah yeah

I do. I like I have my I've spin bike so hard the foot came off my thing and it's completely stripped it and I tried to superglue it back on, and my boyfriends like, that's not going to try to wick. I need to get a new I have to figure my bike out again. Um. We have some fun new comments on iTunes and we appreciate you guys liking us on iTunes and Facebook. Um uh, here's one from Kelly G. Munroe.

Five Stars my new favorite comedy podcast. My new favorite comedy podcast just discovered by accident, thankfully because I just got into watching the Bachelor franchise the past two years because of listening to comedy podcast recaps that laugh out loud funny, even if I skipped an episode or an arist case, fell asleep, and then we wake up in the morning and laugh on my way to work on the subway, even on the most boring season and Bachelor

history ever, especially with his Lauren dates. But no more boring Lauren and equally equally boring d bag Are So the shows are the funniest shows on TV period. So thank you so much. We have best podcast ever. Five Stars by Sierra mark It. I do not listen to this podcast because I watched The Bachelor. I watched The

Bachelor because I listened to this podcast. I am a huge Bachelor fan, of course, but once you start listening to Willie said the shows, you get exactly what I mean, Willie, except this SoRs is addicting and you come out of listening to each episode feeling so happy and refreshed. Not only is Ard and size splittingly hilarious, well, thank you, she's charming and honest and real. Plus she has the cutest voice ever. Oh my god, you just got my Rose.

Nobody's ever said that. And her guests are amazing too. I'm beginning to realize that this review is started to sound like I was blackmailed into writing it. But I'm completely serious when I said this podcast is gold. Thank you Sierra Margaret, Thank you Kelly G. Monroe. There's many more we thank you all. Um. Here's one email that we got Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. This was from Jen. My apologies if I can't say this right.

Jen massil Witz. I was watching You're the Worst and I cashed his character was watching porn and look is that Leo. That's really good. I appreciate that. And then we also had um Kelsey emailed us Kelsey will um Hi Bunnies. I met Jordan this weekend of the five K. He was hosting a Crystal River. He was super nice and took a picture with me. After the picture, I told him that you all would love to have him on the podcast. He said he would absolutely be interested

and to d M him again. Thank you so much, Kelsey, will we sure appreciate you. She sent a picture of she and Jordan's I also want to say that um Brittany who made my mom and uh Rob and I are are um are what is that word? Crostitch? I hung it in my kitchen is hanging up right now. So we thank you and I will be in Vancouver at Yuck Yuck's the last weekend in October. That's October.

If you're inclined to watch in stage double, it would be really great if you watched it before September ten, because that's when they will decide if they're going to pick on the show. So we grand And do you have anything about promote ladies M I mean you listen to my pod as ethnically ambiguous if you love Middle Eastern politics, Um okay. And and it's gonna just randomly read US five. First one is Alexis Madison at ABC.

Madison Analyst seems like she would not only be fine with sixty forty, she would negotiate for each one responded like somebody responded. Bryan Paulson had replied to her, only to set off her ninety five five. It's true she is. Actually it's hard about as he analyze. If you're listening, here's what you need to know about yourself. When you're actually on the dates. You're really fun. Like I think

you're underselling yourself. And I actually think you're braver than you think you are because I couldn't have done that candopy adventure in the car. So like, don't sell your yourself. Sure you're at you're a cat. Also, don't need to get married at the end of this. You find the dude that you just want to hang out with. That's all you need. And you don't have to be a strong couple right away someone you want to see your marriage. There's no free pass out of yourself. You still wake

up with your own brain. You still wake up and go funk Is Tuesday. Just because you're married doesn't mean you don't go fun is Tuesday. Yeah, every Tuesday. You hate Tuesday's We Marines take Tuesday? Who moved my Tuesday? Cheese? Ryan Paulson at our puls and photo Ben wa. The more I talked to Chelsea, the more I remember that she has a rose that no one's interested in and is thirsty. Is fun to get on camera Ie how to work the system? Alexis Madison, Oh on fire at

ABC Madison. At this point, I'm convinced all the ladies have the same square black to soup bottles. Anyone know where you can buy air? It's a style out there, Alexis Fire. Suzanne b at Mrs Tumnus. I secretly imagine that the giant black squares they put on Jedda and Crystal are I think giants. These are good. Oh there's your there's your theory out they might be true. Okay, I hope that. Rebecca Fini, maybe I'll go back on Twitter. I've been I've been fined. I haven't been on Twitter

in two months. Rebecca Fini at Fiene. I think Leo bumped his head at work and now thinks he's eternally in a pirate porno. We're kissing his handshake snitches, get stitches and muld just be crazy. It's so true. Oh that's a really good one. Oh my girls. Cheyenne Constant at Trixie Firecracker. Leo not getting his way at Paradise things. Burning it to the ground would be the solution. Starting to wonder about that. June two, thousand eight fires, She yeah, photo,

I love that connection. She posted a phone the fires up there. Oh my god, I want to shout out a lot of people have been calling him. Then Hojo and I love that. Oh my god, oh my god. Okay, I'm really it's hard boy. I love that first one, clearly, the first one. Then do we wear? Do you want giants? Se do we like snitches? Get stitches? Or like? Okay, all right, okay, so it's between here we go is

down to the final two. Al Hyenne constant at Trixie Firecracker, Leo not getting his way at Paradise thinks Britty to the gram would be the solution. Starting to wonder about that. June two thousand, a fire in Universal Studios so good? Or or or a combo rose for Alexis Madison at ABC. Madisine anally seems like she would not only be fine with sixty forty, she would negotiate for eight twenty with a tag by Ryan Paulson at our Paulson Photo. Only just for five eight twenty or fire? Which one? Now

eighty twenty? Or fire? I think the fire one? Okay, I like eight twenty so much. I'm gonna go eight twenty. I think I like fire yeah, because I'm like the most so much. It's a three way split because I love it with the tag. So here we go. That's Alexis Madison, Ryan Paulson, and Cheyenne Constant. How those were strong, but there was a lot of strong runner up. I'm going to say that it was the strongest groupings where that was said that this week he only sent me

one tweet, but it wasn't something else. I think he hasn't watched the Unfortunately, he's the best. Um, he's are head of the n S a elerk. Who's gonna get who's gonna get? Um? Who's gonna get engaged? To pick two couples? I don't think I can have to? Good lord, Um, all right, I'm saying Canadian bacon, Canadian bacon, Canadian say Canadian bacon. And who else is there? Uh? Oh, Joe, I'm just gonna I think it's just Canadian bacon. I see them. To him, they're the only they're the strongest one.

Who else is that strong? Holt? We know that's not happening, and then we have we know like they showed the next week and then Kendall, she's too she's too hurtful. Yeah, I just don't see them getting engaged. I hope they actually last. Yeah, they're very cute. I hope she just surrenders and lots of I love that He's like, Oh, I just hope guy, stop kissing my girlfriend. Are your girlfriend?

Stop kissing the guns? He's so cute to me. I find him so cute, and I really like Kendall, but it's like, so I really really think and I don't want her to sabotage it. All right, Well, you guys, this is my favorite time of the year. I love Paradise Alert. Thanks for being on, Thanks for having me. Oh my god, thanks for watching. Was it fun? Have fun?

I did have I did have fun. I did have fun as I was sitting in my hotel room with with like a laptop open watching one episode, yeah, and then a TV on watching another episode you had trying trying to sort out who is sounds like you're living my life. What do you think j J will think of this episode? She she she said, you know she watched it, j J. Yeah, j J j j J watched the episode and said that you know you need do you call her if she's got she referred to

the one who's dating uh uh Jordan's. She was like, yeah, she's like Janna. She the won who like sticks her tongue out. She does. She lost like this a lot, but you haven't seen that a lot of that. Okay, fine,