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her here, you guys asked us my friends in trouble accepting. Oh, I think somebody will accept more than a rose to my lab. I have a diamond and rose starting god, Oh my god, welcome to Will you accept this rose? My name is Ardine. I am so happy to be here. This podcast is officially the love of my life, my little baby, my sweet baby podcast. Uh could not be more excited. To my right is a woman that I didn't know. I did not know she was in trouble
as though she came in. I'm gonna say we have a group text that happens during the Bachelor, and and I and I sent out like a slow class like we are. Much to my surprise, this started out as the most boring season the Bachelor. Now that he's a very boring guy, I think this is one of the since Caitlin. I think this is the best season of
a Bachelor franchise we've had. I am loving it. We've all got it because I don't see the twists and turns coming like he sucks, but like I love that I don't see the turns coming, whereas I felt like with Jojo, we knew Jordan was gonna win with like like like I don't. I'm always shocked. I got shocked a little young Becca got sent home. I was shocked
last night. So I'm enjoying this season. So we've been sending out texts of like, much to our surprise, even though he's the most vanilla person ever made, is kind of an exciting season, this one. To my right, my my, my wind beneath my wings, the person who carried me from my own personal grief island. She was not enjoying it. She came in and she confessed that she read the fucking spoiler. What is is it? The Olympics? What's happening? You know what? It might be the Olympics because you
love the Olympics. I've been watching the Olympics. I started five o'clock and then I go right before my show, and then if I have a show, I will come back around ten and then cheer and sob to about one thirty. So is it just that, like maybe you should just when the Olympics are happening. Maybe you should tap out of this because maybe it's hard to like take a break from the Olympic. No, I think. I think it's my excitement level is so high for the
world and in the sense of competition. And then I go to you know, a pair of fucking Khakis trying to date on ABC, and uh, I get I get a little destroyed my heart Chocolate. I just have to say, I can't believe you read this world. I had a breaking point this morning and I was like, I love me the spoilers. Oh my god, I've never done it in some he was like, you know what it was? It was almost like I will try crack cocont am. Felt like I was cheating on you. You were you sorry?
We have almost asked you. Weah looks worried to cross to me. Anna, Can I just say your flyers are so on poinant. You beat them out so fast. Now it's like you are in some demonic other like the devil he self just whispers to you. Your flyers are just so rising. How you just say something to me and I'm like, I know exactly what you do. I've never felt understood by a couple. It's like you and I are like Lauren being we were the same. They're a gay single lady of you. I love a doppelgang er.
I want to look at a woman and be like, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, and how did you feel when Aron said it we'll drop then? Did you feel he felt it would have worked if she hadn't looked at the spoiler? Yeah? Didn't you feel? I can't believe I did it. I'm kidding here, and I can't believe are rules we are non spoiler podcast. I've
never tend seasons Laurie ever watched this. Glorie even agreed last night to not read this spoilers next season because it ruins No, it didn't ruin it for me, and I'll never do it again. I know, I don't. It didn't ruin it. I gotta be honest with you. It could be hard to do the podcast with you guessing because you know now, No, it's I literally still I don't even know if I believe him. It was one sentence.
Sometimes honestly, it wasn't reality. See if it was some mother, like a random mother who I left is a woman who didn't read this point did not read and who I've been trying to get on all season. She's a she's a podcast favorite. We love her so hard. And she's gonna be on a new show on NBC call champions Airs March eight. And her name is Portune five and she is sitting here. May I say this, yes, of course with her new fiances. This Jacqueline with the
most beautiful ring. I mean, I think, pretty good in the ring department and the lady to play. Did you guys, did you guys cry when you got a gay old trio? I think she was more like what's happening? Before? He did you carry it around all day? And like panic? I carried it around that night? Did she know what was coming? When she saw Neil Lane in the other room? Neil Lane Corpse of Neil Lane, Chris Harrison fam He came out of a starkop. I guess there's only one
rose left. And then he kept making us, you know, put the Neil Lane uh signature? Yeah, there's no camera. Yeah, and you guys, you stayed together for two years, you get to keep it, I know, come on, fingers crossed and we have with us today. So excited, Katy Levine Keatie. Somebody emailed in last week after Kyle was talking about his mom. I was talking about my mom. You were talking about your mom in the bedroom. We should do an All Mom's bad Ster podcast one episode My mom
and your mom watch it? My mom watches it and oh my god, Mary Philo J might we might probably get her call. Is your mom watch My mom does not watch? Oh my god, my mom? Does your mom? My mom watched it once with me, and the whole time she just kept like, so does she win? You just have to wait. Like my brother, my brother I did the podcast. Occasionally he's like, so does this guy just get to like the girl? Three of them? Three of them? He gets to like aggressively tone kiss all
of them. Do you have anything you want to promote? I'm going back on tour your Girls Portland's US coming up? Oregon? Yeah, Edmonton, Canada? Yeah ya, Yaccon Canada. I don't know what. Okay, no house of comedy I think in Edmonton? Yeah, Fortune Themes you're dot com see if I'm coming to your city? All right? Anna? You got your podcast yep ethnically ambiguous?
What do you mean by that? Hey? And ms Aaron, what do you have, uh tomorrow night in l A. If this podcast comes out tomorrow, it's actually sold out show. But when's your Thursday? Tomorrow Wednesday? So it'll be actually tonight in l A. It comes out Wednesday, Okay, tonight l A at seven three the Hollywood Improv Lab. If you want to try and get a ticket. She's so funny you can't like that. Um. I am gonna be at Dallas Hyenas doing my political hyena dipped in Lava
Comedy at April six and seventh. I'm gonna be in Alaska March sixteenth and seventeen, and we're gonna be at Moon Tower in Austin April. Here we go, let's just get started. What an episode overall it was a It was a buffet of white people. I mean, these feel just when he thought they couldn't get any whiter. After Minnesota, we get to Lauren B's family. Oh my god, most families were interested. Yeah they a. I was all like, where are the siblings? Yeah, I have siblings, not just
just justical. Oh yeah, they were the best family. There was a girl in like a it almost looked like a ghost. There was a girl in like a little house on the Arry dress that was at um, that was at Lauren's house, that didn't just like a sister at JoJo's house. There's a sister that didn't say Remember we had research if she was actually real? Yeah, she just like because the brothers in their Cobur next year
Cala Cobur next Switter. So we started. We have a preview seeing TIA's mom, who, God bless her, looks like Ari in a wig or like a witch, God bless her. She came up. She literally my sister's like, oh my god, she's straight up material. It was tough. I felt and I felt bad for it. Was like like she seemed like a nice lady. But that was that was our preview. So we see are driving in a car. He's looking like like they're like, you know what all the bronze
are in the world. He's just getting gray or grace or his face is complexion. He's like, this happened to Nick, This happened like I think when they get closer and closer to the proposal, they're so stressed out and having to actually meet all the dads. His complexion was as ray is the frost that has been placed in his hair. Yeah, his hair looked grayer. He looked like ghostly. He looked
just so uncomfortable. It drove. It looked like, Oh, there's my agent or my accountant driving in Malibu, coming and deliver the bad news. I think I owe the man. I think he wanted to get in the car and just not stop, just keep going to some happy place. So then they go. First up, we have kendall Um in l A and every single one of them, they saw them. They jumped up on him and they did the leg rap. That's the classic bachelor movie. I can't wait to do it to Jacqueline. Yes, will you do
that at the altar grap? I'm gonna tell her it's coming. Will you tell us when you're gonna get married? Because I didn't know you're engaged. I didn't tell him. Friends had a hard day to day. Friend, I don't know. We're gonna have a talk later. Guys, we're gonna work it out. Defined French feel last week year said she was having your hartreak. But I feel like there's like a hangover, like it's like it's landed. This week. It's like I'm I'm looking at this a little stressed out.
I'm a little stressed out. I literally have Okay, I'm just gonna say it. Yeah, we're going to clear the air tomorrow. I've got a really really stressful show. At the same time, the USA women's hockey was playing match. Is that what's happening? That's what I have to entertain people? And there's a two camera a three camera shoot at the same time. I know women's hockey team that are playing Canada for the gold medal, I don't know. And how ari ding gung is an area you can tap out?
So the Olympics are done? Girl, Well you've already read it. It's okay, baby, girl. I love I love you, I love it. I watched every minute of the show. Rob Rob Benedict is this hovering over the store in a jet pack, just's waiting to drop it, alright, So then we have we get there. She's a creative director. I don't know of what um and she was like, I just want to embrace what I love. And she takes
them to the Texidermy. Like as soon as you see that someone's into texidermy, you're like, we're not meant for each other. We I gotta go that her texidermy garage or was that like like a prop house. Probably it was disturb I think it's too comfortable in an activity for Oh my god, that was when you realize that's
what I actually saw. She wasn't fucking around like that's what I actually when she was like joining us and it was actually like when if you guys, if you guys just listen to the podcast, which is a few people do. They did this activity where she was like, not only are we going to see this entire like storage unit filled with dead cats and ship, we're gonna make our own stuffed rats. And we said to red skins and like cotton batting, and I just thought, I thought,
my sweet get Katie. Katie talked to me, Katie. I was watching. I thought if somebody tried to make me even like touch a dead animal, I would kill though. And then my boyfriend was like, oh, that looks fun. And I was like, oh my god, did you question joking? He was joking, but he was like, oh he was like joking, how that's his way out? And he squeezed the life out of a bird right yeah, sitting right
next to you. It truly was when she was shoving the cotton batting and she goes, you start with the head. I thought, oh, this is real, Like you really they didn't make you you really you've done this. I think, here's my two cents. I think, um, you don't lead with the text, you know what I mean? She played five six months and you got the ring on the figure. Then you're like, oh, hey, listen, let's do some role
play with Rabby. It reminded me of what would you do have Jacqueline told you that, I'm sorry I cut you up. I mean, well, now I've been with her long enough that you know you're here. Here's too late, But how do you get sexy after that? I don't he reminded you of? Well, no, it just reminded me. I remember all these years ago watching The Glass Menagerie on Broadway and the suitor, the gentleman suitor comes in and she's like dying and she's like, let me show
you my menagerie. And I'm like, no, no, do not show him the menagerie. I'm gonna go off topic for one second here, and I got scolded on Twitter for going off topic about death left me and this is the only podcast about grieving in the back life happens guys. Okay, here's and this is not a death topic. This is just off topic. Glass Menagerie. When I was in New York, when I first started out, I was like, I need
to go to acting school. So I auditioned for Stella Adler and I was like, you know, sure, I could just do any old monologue. I'm gonna do a five minute one woman show version of the Glass menager And I did that. I was like, you dumb me. I had thought. I said, blue roses. I have as blue roses as I met you before. I do have my glass the animal collection. Blow out your candles. Lord. They were like, um, I knew it was a mistake up there, and it was too late because that's what I prepared.
I turned it out and I was like, blowing up the candles like blue rose. I actually got in like I think. They were like, she takes risk? Yeah, does her? Does her check cash? Like I guess, I don't know who. They rejected. They did make me come back. They made me come back. They suggested to like, why didn't you do this thing from like you know, Midnight at the Blue Oh. I don't know if it was just like oh,
like yeah, I actually tape. Oh my god, sometimes I think back on certain things I've done and I just sweat and pannah. Certain stand up shows, they're certain stand up shows. Oh god. Okay, So then mounting rats are stuff in the animal skin, very silence of the lambs. He makes the joke and then she was like, well I started I was a kid. They were random things I found on hikes. So she would bring dead animals back, like a cat, like a cat, like a household. And
she also confess that she would eat a human. We know that she would eat a human. She's got some I love everything about Kendall. Want her to be my girl friend. What did you say? The twin date? The twin date, the twin who? The twins to l a floating around a yoga met. When she's like your energy, I was like, oh, pass, but I love kend I just want to say, Kendall's what happens when you forever tell your children they can be whoever and whatever. Y Yes,
that's what happened. I was trying to figure it out because actually part of it was like, did they really live in l A. But when I saw that their house was like a z bea shop as I realized that they were in like a fucking like white lady Tibetan. Every room is a gift shop. Okay, so now we go, um, so then we go, They're going she somebody says this is so radicitui, And then which is great, he had a few. That's the thing I will say about Ari. As much as he's a dud, he is super He's
AffA ball and he is a super good sport. What's dangerous about Ari is he's so sincere like a psychopath that you actually and he's not like a slick guy that you're like, oh, this guy's telling him the truth. But he did it to every parent, to every girl. He seems really genuine when he's doing it, which makes him so dangerous. Yeah, and the same, you know. Getting back to Kendall ten seconds, I did love that this is something she loves, so though I don't think this
is something that she loves passionate about. And she also is like it's on her too to be like is this my guy? So if if this guy rolls in and he's like throwing up all over themselves like the whole like she's got to be like, no on you. So I did like that she came from from day one. She's like, this is who I am. Annibals Taxidermy made it to the final three. You that's what makes me like the only I think for deeming quality about Ari's Eddie pick Kendall, I mean, it's so crazy, So then
you must want a boner. Oh yeah. He's the fact that now you know, I can't I don't know, I don't know, I can't look at you know. I agree with you because because when she kisses, she kisses so intensely that he definitely wanted to her because he's a dirty dog, and you know, all avenues are open, you know, everything big the bum bum. I feel like I feel like nothing is off nothing's off limits. That's his jam. She might have like a tattoo around the butthole. Welcome
to the fun fun fun bump. The journey begins here. So when he says, but he says it when he when they have a chat, she says, I'm feeling things, and he said this, I love that you're feeling things. That was him adding on too, I love that he always goes. I love that, and he added on to I love that you're feeling thing. He never has much to say. He never had anything to say. No, never, he does just like not curious. He's like he asked maybe one question and then it's straight makeout. Oh my god.
He does not know what to do if he can't kiss that. I don't think he knows how he feels about I think he I think he really thinks he's falling in love with all of them. I do think that's a genuine thing. I think I think he doesn't know what to do, and I think he has all these feelings and it it feels almost right for him. But like you're sitting there like I don't know, maybe it's editing too or whatever. But he used the state to use the same sentence with all the parents, and
all the girls are like, he's dangerous, He's dangerous. I'm really falling for her. I just want you to know I will take I will protect your daughter. I'm falling for her those dads. So then so then when he finds out who am I going to meet, You're gonna meet Kylie, my identical twin. You could see his boner perk cup, like I did you see hot identical twin? Just the dirty dog in him with sight that she had an identical to rant Um. So then the family
shows up Kylie, Kendall and Colton. Colton didn't say anything. The brother Um. Colton's terrified of the whole family. They do, they do the cheers Kendall. Kylie is holding a crazy glass that is a giant ruby garnet on the bottom. Did you notice that glass? Oh my god, it was like this crazy champagne glass that had Everyone else had a regular glasses that were like Kylie's special. It was like a big ruby bottomed black. The entire episode with
Kendall was filled inside a Etsy store. Oh yeah, they lived inside for sure. I struggled to get past that their names were Kendall and Kylie and the Kardashian. Seriously, That's when I was like, oh god, what is happening. And then the dad goes, well, this is certainly a different kind of court chip. And then the mom pulls her into the jewelry room with the words behind her,
let's say soul on it. Okay, somebody went to anthropology and went to town and she goes so dish the mom, and then Kylie takes him out back and it's so intense, like a psychic and she goes, I feel like there's a little bit of space between you. Like so part of it would be like that was my sister, I'd be like, bitch, don't put doubt. Like he's so impressionable that the second Katie, what did you think? I see?
So I found her fascinating, though I do like they're confident, that kind of whitewashed show where everyone's just kind of like going along. Kendall and Kylie are so like they're so refreshing because they just don't care what they say. Like she's really like, I send some space, and you're like, who says that? That's awesome? She sent some space. That's a fucking game show. Again. That is their parents being like, yeah, your energy readings are always spotted them too much support,
too much support, too much support. So then we have the sister saying to him, he says, I do worry if she could fall for me, and then she says, I don't feel that she's going to fall for you. It's just so happy. It's like twins sabotage, like she doesn't want Kendall to leave. The next and then the dad says, um, Kendall falling. My first thought No, that's like this fair like Kendall is a loner. She needs
to be with her animals. Yeah. You know, if you were a dead animal, i'd say yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, But you're human and alive, so I'm gonna go with I don't see it. Yeah, so that how do you feel about forts? So then Kylie pulled Kendle up to the Then we're not talking about the Kardashians, guys. Kylie bowls Candle up to the beads store. There's like a fucking full bead store on the table, and she does a full one day after she's poisoned his brain, she goes,
you gotta let him know how serious you are. Basically, after I let him know that you're not into it, I've made a distance and sabotage. If you're twin full, you've got a twin. Wouldn't you be pissed at your twin if you're twin died that to your lady? Yeah, I wouldn't. I would never say it seems like there's some space between you and I don't see her falling for you. Yeah, I would just be like I would. I would ask some hard questions, like why her above
anyone else? What does she you know what I mean? But I wouldn't analyze that's not that's not my place. Yeah, especially not after like an hour of being at a dinner table with him. Yeah, like I don't see this happen. I might take her aside and be like snooze festile for But you know I do. Like the theme of all these families were like I'm gonna trust. No one wanted to give any permission. The entire episode would just
go trust my daughter. I trust my daughter, like because they're right there right, So then they go right outside of the porch and you could hear they were right outside the house on the porch, and you can hear screaming right inside. I really I replayed it a few times. You can hear screaming. I think it was like, oh my god, like like I think it's a family like exhaling, like could you believe like that? Like I was wondering who that was and they were screaming, and then I
think they got like shushed into the back. But because they're right outside and he's doing like his like already hair kissing the hand. Did you guys see the doll the voodoo doll in the window that highly, and then she just gave him a little poke and then Already's neck went a little sideways. No one saw that, all right, Well I want I watched it very closely. Come on, Yeah. Did she say something about not finding security and he that was later. I think that was because like basically
his sister poisoned. Like, I don't see I see space between you, animals between you. Literally, I literally I see dead animals. So then we go to Ween, arkansasas with Tia in the raceway, she had told him she was in love with him in Fort Lauderdale, which never which which never is a good I was from a country club, Like, man, I'm not so riddeneck, after all, what time are you from?
Were you from North Carolina? Very upscale, you know, a little Compton, Rhode Island with our tractor polls felt pretty fucking Lilli coop just chacked your polls felt kind of cosmopolitan. Although they have a full raceway. There is that actually in Wiener. This was a family for the agent, So he didn't did He did like Tokyo drift around like he just drove sideways all around, which was kind of impressive. I was like he's like, I can't talk not well,
must crash cars. So they're trying to make the realtor look cool. He's driving sideways and we learned that our brother is going to be protective. And then with the dad before right before are walks in says I want to be pulsh in the shotgun way walks in and then incomes Ari. I mean the brother like he wast dude with the out of the pr I so, well, that's the thing. He hasn't been there, He's got it. He's like I went away for a while. I was like,
I'm not camping. Yeah, I mean they were intimidating. Not to judge, but I felt like I felt like, wow, she is amazing. I haven't her dad grew on me like so so. So the brother takes him out in front of the cook shack sazing was jealous. I like the cookshack. And then the dad meets him and intentionally as a dick, is like, welcome airy and she was
like it Ari Dad, like that was so awesome. So you weren't briefed on his name, Okay, nobody from the South would say it like that, Like that's how someone from like New York would say it like my dad would say Airy like no. They wanted to dig him, like, okay, you're not. Oh hallo ariy so that too big for us? Boy? Yeah, So then the brother goes, dude, the terrifying brother was sort of sweet, but he pulls him out. He goes, rumor is your apply boy? You're the kids you're kissing.
And by the way, why are they the only ones googling him? And I read one blog a year and it was you and you're a ploy And he looked terrified, like he's like, I mean, yeah, I've had some good times, good years in my life. And then the brother was like, well, I wasn't planning on like an airy, but I think he's a stand up guy. And if TE likes him, I like, yeah, he's got he's got a sweet side when he's not killing people. Dad tried to trick him. He he was like, I suppose up be pretty nice
of girls. Talk me through, talk me through. Every single time. It was bully a tricker. Yeah, I haven't felt what's blowing my hips in thirty years. Please tell me every five girls and cheese from must be great. All the things you can do with five of them. I could just spit ball and here I do parents. Little do we know, though, Little do we know though, that we'll take him over the upcoming Uncle Gary or Lauren's dad. Like we didn't know that Kenny was going to be
like top of the pie, I did you. Kenny was sweet by the end, and he was like, well you might be playboy. You get my blessing, boff your harder. I can find you on Google. I find you on Google. Was the great, like my greatest line. I loved it. It's such a good solid dad, I don't know technology line. Every father said that. And then map quest map Earth is that something my advocates. I put a couple of balls over to the side and I'm gonna find you. Gonna go on map Puss and type in ari ariy
to come up with tinker Bill are Arizona. So then we have so then the mom the mom um, Oh, I just wanted to give her a hug, which mom she is? Mom? Oh yeah, just just a quick listen, I please, I wear the same after every day. But if you just just a little bit of a haircut, maybe some context, maybe just pull her into the year. Yeah, that's right, that she is beautiful, and I was like, parents, Yeah,
she's such a looker. You know. I kept looking at her, and he is like a doctor and Tia, I think he's gonna be the next bachelor, right, I think Tia. I think Tia. Because America liked Raven, I think they're giving us Taven. I think they're giving us. I think they sent her home so we can have her be not so close to our We have her tears. Well we'll get we'll get there, We'll get there. Her parents were,
her parents are sweet. You can see where she gets like her sweetness, you know, but they were, they were, they were a little bit of a tough. But she kept she's the shining light of that family for she's sure. She kept saying, a perfect day is in love? Do you not falling in love? There was a real thing in her mind, so you didn't want to be falling
in love. She wanted to be in love. It's like, but the conversation with the mother, like you you feared what who Tia dated before and what happened because like every two seconds, like, well you dated some monsters, you did some horrible remember your last you dated? You know, You're like like, look at. I mean, it's also like way to be like, I'm not a playboy, and then literally like grind and dry hump their daughter on the
front horse thing, you know what I mean. And brother who was like ready, who wants to want to hate area And now you're like, he's like fully doing the grow to like make out right on right on the front car. And he really was, I'm not a play but I got a magic trick. My hands up your shirt, I'm gonna get you an es girl and a great condo. And scutt I got just one more night with this gal butter making kill. Yeah he knew. So then we go to Minneapolis. Beckackay, Beckakay. I like her? I did?
They got apple orchard? They do? The apple sling shot looked fine, apple sling shot looked so. And then the carmel shop. I was camel. I would have started with the car. Oh my god, the camel apple good. So it looks so good. So then we hear about her uncle Gary. He's a pastor. We come up to Prior Lake two and they and they Uncle Gary he is he is, he's just his fingers are twitching. Um, he is ready to go. He's got his cane and his barker lounge and he looks like he's maybe a little
boozy waiting for there. They're like it was real tense coming and she's like, my family is so fun. And then she brings him in. Uncle Gary pulls him into the room and he goes his dad's he made it all about himself because dad's Dave. He was a great hunter, he carved ducks. Add his funeral, he should be here cancer dying. Were her guard dogs are? He was just like, I thought that was one of my favorite moments in
Batch history. He was like, literally, you're talking about your brother, her father, and the first his go to description is
he was a great fisherman. He was a great hunter and he carved all these ducks ducks that and that's how to get The editors knew it too, that's why the editor So then one if it was the card and he was like, they're like, I think a couple of he's had a couple of drinks, ready to fight ari but about and then he goes or somebody said it might have been the mom say you're married and Beckham wants to go to church, what do you do? Like I think they were literally wrote down that. The
only thing I wrote down was his response. I honestly think they were like, are you a Jew? I think they were asking are you a Jew? That's what I think they were asking, because his name is his name is Ari, like the guy on the entw He's like, he doesn't look like but like I think they're mine. They're like, you know, you're not blond and and from Minnesota. I'm like, super fucking offended now that actually I think that whole thing. Well, otherwise, what was that? Like? What way?
Maybe she just told them that he's not religious, like I was thinking maybe that I would maybe they're just religious. And he they go, oh, does he religious? Because that cares because he came up with Tea during the show, but not anything about Becca. With that, it was like, I'm like, what is this? What is this line of why are they asking him? Dude? I think you're right, that's what I think, But I think you answer. His answer was amazing. He said, spiritually, I'm not as far
as long. Spiritually, I'm not as far as long as her, far along as her, but I'm open to it. I was like, how do you answer that? I thought that was like a genius, aliens good, he's a good politician. Else to Tia though, when Tia was saying something, he's like, yeah, you know, I probably will never get there or something like that. Remember when they wret that weird island And I also thought that I'm open to it. But all
my Sundays are booked. And tell him about seventy five if you called brunch church all for three football games in a row and me not taking Christ as my lord, if that's it, I mean, like all the families except for Kendall's family, I think I'd be like ship, I'm out man, neither they If you're really tight with his family, is weird too? Yeah? In that got a brother with the matching outfit. Oh my god, you're right. They're all bat crazy matching out I forgot ever forget about that hashtag,
never forget never that should never dressed like us. It's her Halloween, or you're doing a funny picture, or it's a Christmas card and even then die it was walked into red room. But let me tell you this, when they when the camera walked, when they we got into Becca, who I love, who's such a catch. But and so the whole time I was like, you know, Becca is such a catch. We walk into that house. I was like everybody. He was like it also had like some alcoholic faces like they had and I match her at
the wrong house back the family. Oh my god. I feel like my dad would have been on his worst behavior. Kind of like you getting any you want. You want a rotten old you want some old Santa Claus Russell Silver Santa's a month and three. I have an agent on top of the friend. That's why normal issues. You don't introduce god parents, dear lords. No to a year in dude, No, they're already invested, permanent face of disappointment. I do, I do, I do. I wanted to talk
about the gift baskets he kept bringing. Yeah, like Harry and David's gifts back, Yes, does that? I love those. I love a gift Scottsdale Gift Love gift basket. He's a rich kids, full of like chocolate and tears, fancy pears take. Somebody pointed out online. Somebody pointed out online that when he went to UM, when he went to Minnesota, he wore a woman's fur coat. Apples Twitter. A few people point out that as well, they're like, I'm quitting Twitter if you don't discuss this woman's for it was
my collar. It was a real lady my collar, the fall Robin that like Swedish brand. I believe because I used to have that coat and I saw it is a lady's coat. That was like the exact same coat I owned. Was their sausage in his pockets. It's I think it is a lady's coat. I don't. He's and he's he's like turning into Gallam. He was once kind of like covered in spray tam that didn't match his neck like it not. Now they've just given up and they're putting him in the ladies like Lord and Taylor.
He was wearing a lady's kist. Ladies, next episode gonna be like long white gloves, long white gloves and a pipe and a Tierra. Are you ladies ready for the fantasy? Read my grandma's favorite story? Yeah, like you know, closed down. That literally was like, I'm so glad she's not alive. To Taylor, my mother worked in the human resources department. Already last already got the last coat. Oh my god. So then he says, I love that, I love that you're and then I love that so much about something.
And she says, and I loved her statement of this, You've really done well with my weird family. I mean, what are you going to do your families? Your family? Yeah, the mom at least acknowledged that, which I was like, yeah. And then somebody said I think she said, Becca, you keep blowing my mind and stealing pieces of my heart. I know. I repeated that to Jack. You're just stealing pieces of my heart. God damn, and I don't want them back. I was like, what does that mean? I
had to rewind. I'm like, what is it? What did she say that? She says, you're stealing pieces and she isn't catch Okay, I want to. I want you to pay rents on my heart. Keep stealing it. You're like a bad Airbnb tenant. I knew you were going to take that soap, so I didn't leave the good many big coins. Oh my god. So then they go to Virginia Beach and oh my god, now we know where Lauren gets her sparkling personality. Okay, so again they ride
on horses on the beach and she goes crazy. So they go up a lighthouse and he rubs her ass he's so for her. Yeah, and then so then they are eating crab legs and this dip shit goes break a leg tonight. I hope nobody gets crabby about it. It's her first joke, she's in her last joke she's ever attempted, and now I say she should just keep out of the joke world. I wanted to I wanted
to kill myself. I listen, I'm not a violent person, but I wanted to braid her hair until she lost consciousness and then throw her into Virginia being I think you want into the wall. I think he wants her. It's Emily, and it is It is a baseball wife. He wants to looks exactly like. He has a total type and tiny blonde. You have no personality. I've never, I've never, I've never, honest to god, she makes Aria look like a like a and she's like a catch.
But he doesn't even contain his He's like, I am so mad, so madly, we're the same person, like, well, I can't disagree with that. There's hours of awkward silence and he's like and then he just constantly wants away from her. I don't even find her like like she's so pretty, but like it's so funny that everyone she's like the attainable, smoking hot but she's cold enough that
she's a challenge. You know. It's like I knew he was so long ago, but I do still think there's like a like I think he wants her to be emily so bad that he's he's really like I need more, I need more. Like we say this every week, Like I really feel like he's like, just give me, just give me like two crumbs and that's enough. And it's like that's truly good. Point. He's obsessed. After seeing her family, I felt like they had like I don't speak unless
spoken to a rule for the women. Okay, wait, we're gonna get there because I like that. So so they walk up to this beautiful house. The mom goes and this is a statement that sends you to my spun. I wonder if Arie knows Arie. I wonder if Arie knows how conservative a family he's getting ready to face. I don't ever want to hear that. I don't want something to be proud of that and acknowledging that and talking about that, and then she we don't like rights
in this family. Yeah, you know she wears, and the girl so so she shows up in jeans in her plaid shirt like didn't put on a nice outfit, like I'm just wearing like Jame's in the shirt. They sit really far away in silence. The ant goes, you speak Dutch speak it speak Cary, take Cary. He couldn't even like family. It was like they had had my gun point, they had each other. You are beautiful. Yeah, I didn't even know Dutch was the thing, but let's say something
in it. And then and they're like, they're like okay, and which means which means where are the exits? And then you said this family is full weekend at Bernie's. It was totally like and then she totally funnily made sense. So then they're all just sitting around staring at each other. And then she goes, this is your first military family. Do you play golf? Nope? And then already goes, excuse me for a second. Flops to flops date like broadcast news flop sweat, like the amount of sweat, just like
why do you think it is? And he wasn't nervous and it's really hot because he was like so hot because I think and nobody was talking because he has no personality. So if he's with somebody that doesn't talk, he has nothing to And if he can't kiss them, he doesn't know how to talk. So they're just staring at him. He's staring at them. Can't kiss kiss her? Dad? Do you think anybody was there by force? Do you think it was like a kidnapping situation? And of cousin
didn't say anything. This was my favorite line. The mom goes, so tell me what do you see in Auren that makes you drawn to her? And then somebody goes, when are you going to be ready to settle down? Are um? Are you there? And then are He's like excuse me? Oh god? And then are goes outside of the dad and it's like, do you feel comfortable give me my blessing? Uh? And then he goes he needs to be willing to protect my daughter with his life? Will do if you
hurt my daughter? I'll kill him? So then he goes outside and he's like, I flew once, I flew a super like you flew a super horror in it? It and then let's he found out he's like, you did that you in Iraq? Al right, my daughter? It was like a twist at first, because he seemed mad at like, who let you fly that? I think he's made? Seems so angry. And then he goes, huh, well, that's really cool. I appreciate you doing that, son. So he went over
there and kind of drove around the troops. Okay, great, take your dick and stick in a little anything about you. But that's cool. You know what he really are, he's in for life. Yeah, now he's good. Yeah, you're killing me on your spare time. You took a car and drove it through a rack and yelled out the window. USA, Oh my god, take my daughter whatever you want to her anything. My wife hasn't felt anything ever, and right
now I'm having a feeling. I carved my wife. I got a three D printer, and I made my wife. I had access in the military. They hold it in a cave where they do the mind Vendors program. Crack and go sending my bike to spy on Putin to find out what's happening about my body still in Virginia. But I'm in the room with the soul spying on pit. I got my hands on a three D print. I
made my wife and my daughter's a robot. Are you familiar with a Ladies aren't supposed to speak when robots either, unless so I agree women aren't spoken less to you. First it was I didn't pick out a big is that a thing? That's that's just that very serious conservative vibe like the dad's she's a sign that said help. Did anybody see the sign? Side note? So they couldn't
even watch that episode it said help? Side note about Lauren, She was engaged and supposed to be married last June, so maybe she's the one that has the gashow up. They teased that for the next time. Becca was also engaged, but there was a southern southern Actually, yeah, it could because because Lauren apparently, I mean, I'm figuring they're filming this in like October and November. He so she was supposed to be married last June, and then what was
it she just called the wedding hall or something. Yeah, I guess so a hockey player. He was a hockey player. Then did you notice when she had a conversation with her mom, I was like, Oh, they're about to like have a real moment. And then the mom was like, well, I love you, and and Lauren was just like. She goes, I'm falling, and then she goes, I'm falling in love with him, and the mom goes really, and then she says, oh no. He he says that to the mom, I'm
falling in love with her. She goes, really, what about the other people? How are you handling that? That's a good question. She goes, are you saying the same thing? Are you compemp car pump compartmentalizing each of them. He's like, well, I'm doing that, and they were like. She was like, I don't like that. She didn't like him, and he's like, I'm falling. I love Lauren. And then she says, he's so much like me. I could be in a room
of fifteen people. I know what he's thinking. He's thinking nothing. You're thinking nothing because you haven't had an original fault yet, and he's not thinking of yeah. And then the sister just stands her in the dress, not allowed to say anything, and the sister just when she would be great, we cut over and she was like, god America. And then so basically they make out and um Becka Ky comes up. She's like, you know what it's done, guys, I'm not
just falling in love with him. I love him. Today's today, I love him. She shows up, She tells Chris Harrison, we're at the Rose ceremony. I love him. And then he's like, god, I feel for all of them and they're all there. Uh Teas and her crazy dress? Uh are walked out are he walks out. He pulled Kendall. He's like, can I talk to you Kendall, and he goes, are you ready to get engaged? I thought she was going home? Me too? I can we just can we just discuss this moment? This is I was. I was
sort of on board with Arid this whole episode. I really was. He's trying, It's it's a lot. I was like pleased with him, but that conversation with Kendall was so fucking crazy to me because I thought it was so rude, Like it was so weird. And he also he also was talking to her like he's got a spot to fill. It wasn't about her. It was literally like I've got I've got this third spot because it's clearly back at Lauren and like I've got to swap
one out. And I was like it was and he was started ship starring again when she did last week with Becca, and she did that. I mean, we're the obvious three sets. Animals is obviously just us three. Why would you pick the animal? It was so unfair to Kendle, like she I literally it was like he was like, can you be ready to marry me in seventy two hours? You know what I mean? It was so outrageous, and I thought it was super rude. I just didn't like it.
She's like, I'm just like a normal person. I'd have to ask my family of rats. Yeah, they're not with me. So then in this surprise move, he sends Tia home and she had her bachelorette audition. She cried in the back, saying, sobbed forever. I was like, am I getting embarrassing? I was like, a girl, you have to stop. He's not that great. And she says, what did I do wrong? Tell me something? Just He's like, something's missing. And then she was like, I don't want this is her. I
just I she's so the bout to it. I don't want to feel like I'm gonna play this. I don't want to feel like I'm not good enough. I felt like that so many times before weeping. It makes me not want to do it again, be vulnerable. I'm tired of not good enough for people. And then she says to someone, oh then they do the rat thing. Kiss me like you mean it woman. But then Crystal driving the car with a rat was amazing. By Michael driving the car that bumper was it was amazing. I'm loving
this season. Have a Crystal's voice video. Did you see them on Twitter? Not yet. I haven't watched it yet. Her voices, her voice is regular, like a regular human voice. He's crazy, yes. One of her fans sentence a video of Crystal talking to uh Craig Craig Jersey Lady did Virgin?
Oh yeah, and it was. And it was the Virgin interviewing Crystal and Crystals like, you know, I had a lot of different experiences, and I'm sorry because last week it was I had Alive and she was like, well, yeah, I mean, you know, it will be interesting to see the women. Oh yeah, for sure. It'll be interesting to see what voice she uses on women, tell all, oh my god, is it good? Yeah, it's gonna be this one. It's going to be that one. I bet her headspins
all the way around. I just want to say that our fans have been on fire, and we have so many tweets. I'm just gonna pick five. We have a new person who's just found the podcast and who just came in hard. This is the Vitamin G quote. Is that a fat guy on my lawn? Ari after not giving Tia the road? TIA's dad going, I will hunt you down on Matt on Google. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah Okay. I that made me laugh
so fucking hard. Um okay, um, all right, here's another one from Vitamin G. I haven't always been there for Tia, meaning I spent some time in County Lockup for beating up the guy who pierced my ears. Okay, so then we have, um, okay, we have we have a few tag teams. This is all right. Well here's a tag team on Aspiring. Kelly says, Ari and Laurence babies will be born wearing crop pants and boat shoes, and then j MG says, and they will make no eye contact. Yes,
Melissa Cracker at Real Missy fits quote. I love that. It's a perfect response for so many situations. When your future in love is give you their blessing, When Samman tells you they're falling in love with you, or when you've just taxed Army rats into a Paris wedding diorama that I love that. Um, all right, I'll give you one more thing. Um, this is about Ari talking to all of the parents. Tell me the words to use to make them like me because I can't kiss them
to make them stop talking, all right, like that? Alright, alright, alright, so we're gonna go for tell them the word. This is from Lacey Joe. Tell me the words to make them like me because I can't kiss something to make them to make them stop talking, or I love that. It's a perfect response for so many situations, when your future in laws give you their blessing, when someone tells you they're falling in love with you, or when you just Taxi Derby rats into a Paris wedding diorama. Kissing
or I love that. Um, I'm gonna say the first one you read, the kissing kissing love that. I love that, Katie kissing. Oh it's a time, all right. I'm gonna go with tiebreaker. I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with kissing Lazy Joe to make them like me because I can't kiss them to make them stop talking. All right, here we go. You have a you UM we have like us on Facebook and and iTunes. Here some we've
got some nice reviews. Recently, Five Stars says, uh, please start every episode with Arden's rendition of the Winter Games anthem. That was an exciting episode, favorite political podcast of all time. I cackle loudly like a hyena dipton boiling hot lava while listening at my desk at work, the impression of Dean's dad and Arten's amazing accents to make my life keep doing the Lord's work. You're all national treasures. And then we have one more UM five Stars simply the best.
Arton and Eron are the greatest. UM Art and I think the imaginary invisible old man in the sky every week that you had the fever dream years ago about making a batch podcast and hunted down Katie and created one of the best podcasts ever. More Ralph and more Robin even together respond by me never stopped doing the Lord's work, Thank you. Ralph has been unavailable season. He's filming something. I know, Ralph. Have you done one with
Ralph Garman? He's so fucking funny. Oh god, he's a delight Um, and then I'll just read some one email. We have email us at Rose Podcast at gmail dot q dot com. Melanie Cruise tattoo and Shelter pet update. Can't hire Arden and crew. Can't get enough of your Bachelor recaps of all things Bachelor. Um, okay, so yes he are. He's a super fan. And they send a portrait of their their dog that I painted last summer is now settling in. His hair is growing in. Gus. Yeah,
Gus is failing in. He says. Uh, last summer, you painted a lovely perch on my new little rescue Gus. We only had him for about a month. Just wanted to give you an update. He's settled into our family, his hair grew and he's just a sweet little pup. We'll be doing that again this summer and the fourth
when the animals get scared over fourth of July. So thank you so much, and guys predictions, Arden, I don't know if you can do next week with us because I don't know, you know it, she's not gonna tip it. I actually don't even know. I don't even know what it's almost like if you watched the Super well, but you know who one. It's actually not even real for sure. We'll discuss after. We'll discuss after. But what do you
what are your guts? I think he just wants to He just wants to be on magazines with her for the next year and then like whatever. Maybe they're like the perfect couple just to stare at each other for eternity. I know. I yeah, Okay, alright, Fortune, thank you so much for doing it. Guys, we will be back tomorrow. We are doing it. It'll be me and Rob and Alexis and Jasmine are going to be discussing Thursday night and Tuesday nights episode of Batchelor Winter Games. Holy Moses,
this franchise is going to make me homeless. By here he goes so many apples and then you add a Sunday night show. It's like it's literally taking like forty eight hours of The Bachelor. It's next Sunday on Monday. It's killing me. I love it, but it's killing me. Here we go, guys, over and out by It always takes a second. It always takes a second. Oh yeah, don't worried. I don't worried. I'm just gonna want to push girl where you reach your word, you read, naves your word.