"THREE PINE PENISES!" w/ Paget Brewster and Rob Benedict

my buddies. Welcome to the new decade and to the discussion of what maybe the greatest Bachelor premiere in the history of all Bachelor premiers. My name is Arden Marine. Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose? If this is your first time joining us because you're part of the I Heeart family, Welcome, We're glad you're here. This is the show. To my right is a man. I feel like that's our anniversary. It's either our four or five

year anniversary. Five. I feel so good. Um, I wish your present is the same present as it was on our four year anniversary, and here it is. Let me give you proper into her Robbies on a vacation a way, don't talk to so man. I want to say, you know what, like my Bachelor of the Year is a little bit. I don't want to you love, Rob, I wanted to say if he Let's pretend we had like a hundred new listeners. We just lost three hundred listeners. Robert Benedict, do you know her supernatural? You know him

from Bosch? Yeah, and you know him as Bachelor of You were bachelor en Are you still looking for you love? Are you with us and willing to be Bachelor of the year decade? This is so excited. How are you girls? I'm great, I'm great. I'm so excited. What a ship show last night? I can't wait to talk about Speaking of ship show and who actually didn't join in our texting chain which I was a bad I was a bad girl and I was texting a bit. I was

texting a lot. I couldn't help myself, Ladies and gentlemen, I'm regifting the gift from last year. Let's give it up. Speaking of show said, speaking of ship show, my next gift, I'm traveled with I think that I might break into her house and los Angeles and b Time, Paget Browst, don't say, upon a round, I'll kill ar. But then she'll say, my name is Scret and I will go on Amazon buy a one piece day than my lover. I made our also, we love me to. How do

you get that kind of musical talent? I'm the level of do you? I really? It just comes now. I'm not trained. I know it's hard to be a gentleman. Paget Brewster, you know from criminal mind, so exceed our secretary of State by the way, you you which I appreciate. You didn't come to my birthday party, but we did.

But I did have five people wearing Paget bought me masks of my face from Amazon once you told me they existed, and I have videos of Anna and Lauren Lobkis and Lauren's husband My there was like four ardents coming out with him. It looks at the beginning of a Jordan Peel horror movie. Bringing out the kick It was incredible. It was, it was Inportan, it was. It literally was like, say you had a ten dollar Kickstarter campaign for a horror movie. Mask of your own face

is well worth a five portion of the budget. Was terri fun. Speaking of terrifying, my segrees are incredible. Speaking of serial killers, we have with us two women who have gotten so many late night texts from me, so many We've been on such a journey together, tannahs n Katie Levine. How are you. I'm great. I was gonna say we're great, but we're happy to hear you, guys,

a happy decade. And for those listeners that there, her name really is Anna, but we call her Tanna because there was a summer of love where she went hiking a lot and she was sorry and a lot of skin damage. So now I will not go outside anymore, but you know what, You'll always be Tanna. Hoosnie, guys. And before we get to it, I'm just gonna stay right out of the gate. Let me just say this.

I'm gonna plug this throughout the show. We this crew, this exact crew, will be live at San Francisco's Sketch Fest in less than two weeks. Get your acts there. It's so worth it. We are going to be Sunday the nineteen at one pm. It's gonna be us. Lauren Lobkis is joining us. If you're listening to our Australia episodes. MK Paulson is joining us with Annelie's who tried to Warren Clay at Bachelor in Paradise. It's going to be incredible.

We're gonna be at the Gateway Theater. I'm also doing seven shows that weekend, and I think Paget's doing a bunch of that. So so like, if you want to make a weekend of it, come see a bunch of shows. Is this number seven? It's number five later Sunday. This one is the one that really has you know that this is the one that's not big. I should hope. Okay, guys,

here we go. Let's break it down. By the way, a lot of your fans are worried that you're gonna be tired because you're There's been a lot of emails to us about how worried they're like that you're gonna be too tired. They're worried about from that, not just Saturday night. Even if Rob hadn't told me that, and even if we hadn't gotten a ticket from Austin, I would have known that. Because your fans are so concerned, they're so worried you're gonna be tired. I'm you're the

You're the manimal. It's great. I'm not leaving any earlier than I would have to come home. Why not have a fun Okay, okay, guys, let's just talk about this. Was that not the greatest episode from First of all, they gave us two episodes In an episode normally the end when the sun comes up and all the women come out. They gave us like a full episode with three dates afterwards. It was incredible. I mean, I mean it's hard. I think we have to touch for one second and then we'll get to it at the end.

But the the Hannah thing at the very end, we're not gonna we're not gonna talk too much now, but like was so insane because too when she showed up out of the car was like exactly, it was not anything. It was a perfect switch. And I was like, and because my my teenage son was watching, like the Lost Interest, he came back like what was up with that? Was like nothing? Nothing, And then it became something, dude, It was so incredible what all the girls are looking at?

The girls. The other thing is I love that they started with they started with the last like something a preview of the last episode, so which they we didn't get what they usually do on the premier night, they usually do a full preview of the entire season. Do we get that last day showed like the snippets because like we saw his mom say, bringing your go, get her go, bring her up, bring her back to us, like they kind of showed, but it wasn't as much like it was much more about the show, Like they

didn't do the fucking watch parties. They didn't do because it was so good because they had handed, because they had handled, because a lot of theories of the hand. Okay, okay, and by the way, side note, before we get there, I just cannot believe we got another round of Tenniel Arts that way I was, I mean, I was just waiting, guys, but continuously saying her name over and over. And if you want your own song, you can get you. Here's

how you do it. You go on Patreon, you join the tenniel Arts level, and you tell us what you want and you get a beautiful song just like Robert. Alright, guys, here we are. Premier episode starts with a hawk. Before you do what you're about to do, there's something you should know and then he um somebody says they passed out, and the last thing I remember, like there's somebody's passing out, it's Peter. Peter's like, I don't feel well, think I'm going to pass out, and then lay down on the bed.

So then we have we have the mom weeping and there she's like, dude, Leonard, go, the mom is loving this camera time. Side Now I'm like all in on her. I'm all in on his Peter's parents who are loving the camera time. I feel like my mom would have been the same way, loving it, loving it, getting her vows renude, don't let her go. Bring your home to us. So we have patriotic pilot music, and we have him standing on a pilot roof cleaning it off, and they have a very's a very right stuff kind of top

gun vibe, like getting ready. He's like patriot, I know, rate stuff as astronaut, but like you know, you get the here's this hero and it's the plane. But it doesn't close the top of it, like it's gonna go convertible the whole way. Yeah, it's like like like a like the Red Barren, like old school, and he's so excited.

He's about to take a leaf of faith and he's like, I left with the broken heart, and the mom goes, I know you were head over heels, don't despair, and basically they do it an entire prayer in Spanish, let the waters run, that which is for you will not last or ever die. We find out he's Cuban. His mom's Cuban and speaks Spanish, and speaks Spanish. He like, he like kind of spoke Spanish. Last surprise, last, because he looks cookie cutter. He looks like, yeah, it makes

him more exciting. It's like his dad's German and his mom is Cuban. Yeah, I don't think he's thought I hit it, Peter hit it. I will say. I like the fact Peter was well cleaning a plane while shirtless. I don't even know if that's approved. He also had kind of a normal I like too. I like that he didn't get already. I think that's why I like him. It is like he seems very he looks like a normal dude. He's like a hot, normal dude, attainable. Yeah, he's very like the hot guy. He's just like a

big old cornball too. So it's so like I know that how much he loves dad joke like, oh, you're very I think he's good in the sack. I agree there, I agree with you. I watching him through and we're not there yet. But what I remember her he was very aggressive in that song I with Analyst season, and then I remembered when he was re enacting the stuff and the lobby like out you sit up here on the counter. Party was like, oh, yeah, he likes us kind of throw a gal around a room like good Peter,

that is good stuff. That's fine. I hope he that's fun. There's if he's dad jokes and cornball and then all of a stuff. Yeah, he could toss a gell out on the bedroom in like a fun way, like with with permission, yeah, like not yeah, he's asking for permission. Yeah, No, he's he's sort of like like yeah, I feel like he's like he's like he seems sweet and kind of like I'm gonna go for I think the only bad thing is now he has to funk every woman four times for the rest the rest of his life. I

only got three. I love you. There was a lot. There was a plethora of of airplane jokes in there. Someone of the writer's room was like, all right, guys, I need you to listen everything, and it's not gonna it's gonna go on the entire season. We're not even this is gonna be so many. I mean that was three. I texted you last night saying I'm playing a drinking dick game that I drink every time. He says, wing Man, I missed that I get here because it was and

I don't. I'm in the pilot stuff. I'm in the captain already, he said, wing Man, wing Man, I know, I'd rather I'm in the captain's chair. I'm I'm I loved him getting the selfies in airports. I feel like he wasn't really flying. He was just like a big anywhere, like a big boy come true. Though he is a pilot because people on the subreddit on the Bachelor subreddit have posted that he was their pilot before. Okay, actually been like because the pilot comes out of the cock

that we would love that Peter, I need. He does seem a little bit like a dumb dumb and yet I feel like he could get me from here to Sacramento. Definitely he puts in an auto pilot. Yeah, but that was definitely like pre planned. Yeah, the uniform was wearing was not it was so it was like it was like stock Amazon, I want to play a pilot for Halloween, and here's like the Amazon pilot costume and speaking not

fitting well. Who was the woman who's supposed to be a nurse or something and she's wearing the white like like doctor's jacket. That was obviously Marissa. She was she the caregiver. She was actually a waxer. She was wax She was the girl who won the teen Iowa or some weight pressure. She was wearing this white doctor's jacket that was Yeah, that was like over her hands. But like naughty nurse. Naughty nurse wasn't though. This was like it was this was like my dad's letting me. She

is three years old. All right, So we're starting, but we're tipping your seats in the upright position because we're about to go. We're in Chicago. We're meeting Alexa. She's gotta she's a She says, I'm a caregiver, but it turns out she goes and by caregiver, I mean and she said the phrase I wax vaginas like phrasing vagina. I just I like cool though, she's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute, she's so cute. I mean,

I loved her when we did our live podcast. She was my pick to be the Bachelor at next year. She was too cool. She's too cool, she's so cute. Yeah, yeah, she's too cool. She could be the Bachelor. I would love. She'd be amazing. And her natural hair actually killed. She's a door. She looked like a different species. She's gorgeous. She's the type of acteler they should choose that she's get a real person. Also, someone who's not white. That would be great. And I just I think she's fucking

a door. You guys, I forgot to tell you. I met Demi. Oh my god, I met Demi. I got her number. I should text her to try to get her on the show. Yeah, why wouldn't you? I don't know. I panic. I was so star struck. Okay, great, So um, she said, Waxing is a I was at this like weird Spotify party and like she was there and I was so starstruck, and I pushed my way in and she was talking to that woman that we met who wrote the book about the Bachelor, and um, and so,

but Demi and I chatted. She said she'd met Debbie, Debbie Ryan, they'd like talk to each other. Debbie invited her to a couple of game nights, but she hadn't, so I was able to kind of be like, I'm not crazy. See I worked with Debbie. And then but I got her number and I'm like, I gotta get her. Got her. She's like this big, she's teeny tiny, she's she's adorable, wax things a lot like love. You have to bear it all, guys, that's my family. Crest were

hairless like eels. Okay, Then we me and I saw her and I believe this was Wills Pick because it looks just like Sarah Highland Hannah An. As soon as I saw her, I was like, here's my Here's I went through a whole journey with Annie, and I'm sure we all did. I saw her immediately and I was like, she's so fucking cute and her mouth turns up at the end. Her eyes are so pretty, and she's sexy, like she's sort of like sort of like the girl next door who's also super hot, and I'm like, oh,

she's going to win. But then she was so crazy by the end of the night that I thought she's the new Olivia, remember Olivia with her wide mouth. He was like, when the first impression rose with Ben Higgins. She got the first impression rose, but I think I don't think. I thought it was hers to win. But I think she'll go too crazy by the end of the time. She this is her Instagram and she looks like a fake fucking human. She looks fakeer than Hannah Gee.

But she's adorable. She's so hot, she'll she'll never have to work again. She could be an influencer for the rest of her life. She's so like you guys heard that sonic. She's an a sonic at which was amazing. She's so cute. Yes, she's she's hot, but yeah, a bit crazy, but she was crazy that when that other woman confronted her, Yeah, and she made weird that's when she really looked plastic. She no, go for it, No, it was you right, It looked like it looked like

a faked her teeth. I'm so glad you had time with him. Like ending on a slightly off Keynoe, I don't have any problems like everything about her. The woman's reaction was just like that. She was so stunned and he didn't know, and then but she was. She was not wrong, that's the thing. She was telling that, you're like, don't go do it. By the way, the women who cried was a bit of a delicate flower and couldn't

stop crying. So it was like the perfect combo and somebody who's like, kind of, I'm glad you're being transparent, dude. It was terrifying. It was. Then we made Tammy. She's a wrestler at a home flipper. She has a she she goes. He's a pilot and I'm a jet center. Then we made the Victoria. She's a nurse. She was her sister caregiver. Her dad passed away, her mom fell into addiction, and she's ready to have someone on her side. Her mom's back from addiction and wants a son in law.

She is trauma and she seems so sweet. She looks kind of like nothing like in her photo. In person when she had glasses, she looks so much like that. She looked gorgeous. That's what Steve said. My husband said the same. Ye, she's really and she sweet, so sweet. She seemed too sweet for this show. I was sweet. I know she was. She was the one I'm getting. Okay, okay, okay, I'll raise this is the most boring parts. So we'll just race through this work because this is the least

interesting we have. It's fun once we get to the mansion. We have Kelly. She's an attorney. She works with her dad, her brother, and the dude want to know if he joined the Mile High Club. But we find out that she met Peter at her best friend's wedding in the lobby. At first, I thought she was going to be crazy. Over the course of the journey, I liked her, although I'm not sure she has a huge personality, but I

liked her way too much. Really, she looks older one because she had so much What happened is what happened in that lobby like that, because they have so much books, their faces can't move. They literally he is he's really I think they like I feel if they fucked in the lobby though, if that that that at the Four Seasons of like Hidden Hills or whatever Westlike village, I feel like I don't think he would be avoiding her more.

It had to have been a little something like a little grind, little dry, hoppy, a little like grind against the bookcase, but not you're not because Nick when he when that girl came, he was so like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I already did it this one. I think this one's a little like like pound through your clothes against like that library. Yeah, because he loves against a wall or I guess I feel like there was like a grinding

near a planter parking elevator. This is excited. She let it go on just long enough, knowing she was now going to say okay and do the Bachelor because he was going to be the bachelor, right. She keeps talking about how she needed to sign Yeah. She was like, I'm not sure I got Yeah, she needed to see yeah exactly. I needed to fill your bone and the four seasons to us like village. Then we have the coach Dad to Maddie, she went to Auburn University, four

state chippy to basketball, Katy, that's a big deal. That's a yeah, no, yeah, that's a really like she was she was really good. She was hit. She hit that shot. She was like genuinely impressed. Did we see her much later? Because I thought she was kind of excited she got picked Okay, she's still in it, but we didn't see much. What does she look like? Okay, Madison? Yeah, well she went on the date. She's the one on the I

like that. She's the one who into the vow. I totally was I'm gonna who I unfortunately picked from our Who is the one that our hair tucked into the tube top Jade? Which one is the flight attendants? Who did she? She didn't pick any flight. He does not want to bone his mom. Guys, he doesn't have a mom. My number one pick was not picked. This is the first time this has ever happened, and I'm very sorry.

Maybe we didn't have the officially BC bios. Also, three of the girls from our original picks did not show. They weren't even there. Who it was like, I don't know what we had. We had the cattle rancher, but they but she went no, I'm completely off. I've never been this number two. I have McKenna and Hannah and was my number two. I didn't want to choose Hannah and because I hate girl the female pilot wasn't there? That just passed away? Is truly my number one right now?

Wasn't there? Lexus wasn't there. Lauren wasn't our website. A lot of people picked Haley. Actually I her, she wasn't there either. By the way, how fun was our live podcast? How fun was that doing the live fun? But clearly we were misinformed. I got Hannah and I've never done so bad. Okay, so then we have so then we have um Marissa, Marisa her. She's a patient care coordinator for a plastic surgeon. This is the one I think who was wearing the dad coach coach. She has Miss

Montana tin U say she had. People would say you have a beautiful face and a bad body, which is very mean. And she didn't want to eat, but then she gained eighty pounds and she didn't take care of herself. But now she's back and she feels good and she's very sweet. I believe I had her as my number three. She still in it. I think, Okay, there you go, Marissa. I think she was my number three. I thought she did get picked. No, she didn't get Is she my number three? Um? Um, No, you did not have her.

You have her. You have McKenna, Hannah Ann and Sydney Sydney. I don't know who Sydney is you have Kelly Sydney and Hannah Kelly one on Kelly is the one that he boned in the lobby. Oh cool, oh my god, and Kelsey Kylie and Lexif I have Megan, Sarah and Alexa Anna. You have Sarah, Hannah and and Megan. Alright, alright, okay, so I might have my dark horse, LEXI might come up there now though. Madison is my I think she's going to make it very far. She's the one the

basketball player. Yeah, yeah, she's sweet, so cute, but she's twenty three, which I think is an issue. I think if they're all young, they're all young, they're all also says like every other word, I didn't even notice. I like every layer that I did she like. She says like, and then like, and I think I am Peter. Also everything is this is insane, and he says, I love

that a lot to like. Um. Okay, So we are at the mansion and he can't believe it, and a Leiah comes out her boobs are crazy and she pulls out of her boobs and her grandma wrote her a letter, Grandma Rose, but then she didn't stay to open it, which was odd. I have to say the first, but like I felt like the first ten there was nothing wacky at it, Like it took a while. Yeah, there was the first the first ten that and they didn't even try like crystal its top and be like I

feel my heart. Like there wasn't even any moments of connection. It was like I think people who were young and if you can't rent a car, you can't go on the bad Yes that's great in order you have to rent a car and drive yourself to the mansion. They're just their children like they really are. I mean, I'm sorry to anyone under listening, but like you're not married, you're not ready, Yeah, if you're not out of car.

If you are, If you are ready to get married, it's probably like your college sweetheart that you've been with for four years. It's not some rando that's on TV that you've met for two weeks. But I feel like the girls from the South are a little bit more like just I think culturally for them, it's like you get married quick. So many of them are like my parents have been married for so long, so therefore like

I should get married too. I think because they all talked about I always wonder because I'm like, well, my parents have been together this whole time too, but it's mostly a business contract at together was literally a dare or that. They're like, I'm not backing, like technically married, but they're like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, then be full by the numbers. Okay. So we have um okay. So then we have Sydney shows up and she she goes

just because I'm Alabama, I'm not the only one. He goes, Oh, Shade. He didn't like her shading Hannah. The gals that got out of the car and shaded Hannah, he didn't like it. You do like a cute little thing, or you bring a cow. Cannah and Ann came out. She's so cute, like the and she hasn't actually crazy yet, and it's like the second she got out of the car, it's like just visually for the win, You're like, and she looked like she wasn't wearing a ship toenn of makeup either.

She looks and I mean she's probably had some ship done to her face so she doesn't need but like she feels engineered to perfectly excel in the beast because these are also this is a beautiful group of women, like they're stunning and yet for some reason, that particular toy version of a human was extra engineered to win,

and like, just like no drama. Here is my conspiracy theory. Yes, yes, she's actually been genetically she's she's human, just that we will reach a like in a robot and that's finds out she does. He picked the robot. She's a rose baby. She was programmed by like an older producer smart when she's like, all right, daddy, O a personal Yeah? Are it didn't feel like? God? I hope she turns out. Waite who sponsors the Bachelor? Hold on? Is it? Like? Is it Amazon? Okay? Okay, okay? Is it out? It's

so crazy, so exciting company. So then we have Um, Sarah was just there was a lot of people that just came out and didn't have much to say. Lauren got out with a very cute ponytail and a cute jumpsuit from Glendale. Um, Victoria. Then the jumpsuit was a nice letter jumpsuit. Yeah, are you saying the jumpsuit was from Glendale or she's she's from Glendale. Oh and it's also from the gallery. I thought the gallery. Um the Victoria,

the nurse we loved did the Happy Dance. Um, so they kept the blogger who I picked kind of as a drag. She's twenty two, she's a drag, she's annoying, she's drink Yeah, Craig Cray. She was really well. She wrote in her blog a long time ago that she was going to be on this show. She was eight and the show had been for ten years. There's Kelsey the professional clothy A. What does that even means? To go shopping? I'm a prosion is thrilling me? What is

happening here is thrilling me? To my is a clothy A like a wardrobe stylist, and that what really means you work in work in a store? Professional? I really think that's what. Okay, she's not making her spoke suits a clothy A Like okay, then we have um, then we have the angel wings, we have the flight attendant. She thought she was nilling like any did he keep any? Not? Whine All went home because he was like, I'm not fucking my mom. Actually I think maybe one state. I

can't remember who stayed because there's so many many right now. Yeah, I can't tell them. I don't love my girl went home the earliest episodes of my least favorite because I don't know who they are yet, but that was a good one. I think all the flight tendants went home. And I have a theory that he doesn't want to get with a flight tendant because maybe they hooked up with another pilot. He knows. I'm he's too close to home. I know. I have to say Rob is the manliest guy.

I love what I broke Katie's Mike stand Papa to us, Yeah, daddio, daddio. He's fixing it with a guitar pack. That's hot. Okay, So then somebody says, I'm here for the flight reasons. There was a lot that was hard to listen. And then there was the big paper airplane. Who was Madison? That one was funny. That's just like good we have the barf bag. It was just there was a Rob for the wind. Rob how about the luggage cart with the baggage and it was amazing. Wait, but I'll tell

you what I think happened there. Okay, So so what's her name? Came out of the baggage and and he was standing there. Peter was standing there, going, there's not someone in there? Is there? And then we see the zipper and she climbs out. Then way later, like in the what was supposed to be the blooper part of the very end of the show, after the end credit, it's he's standing there with Chris Harrison. Unless it happened writing that, segments said it's like some David Copperfield stuff.

So they had another box underneath. It must have been she could. I think she's making it. I think he was making Debbie. We zipped Debbie in a suitcase on instation. Well, I saw it. I saw her. She was tiny Debbie, and we zipped her in a suitcase. There's a video we wheeled her around in a suitcase. Yeah, but it was bigger than that. I think he was. I think I could. I think you could zip me in a sup of course you, but I bet you could zip Kierra a case. You couldn't sip. I think Kiera might

have been zipped. We zipped. It was so hard time. I thought there was more room under the bed. I think he was joking saying like we could folder up the David cup Field. Oh. I thought he meant there was a false bottom and there was more room. That's also just such a wild way to show up. It was smart. Yeah. I was like, oh yeah, I met your grandpa in a suitcase. Sweet at Chris, I could have passed on. And then that's how we named you Sam. There we have the girl. There was a lot of

windmill references. There's a lot of you you know what. I remember when we had Colden and there was a lot of virginity thing. This was like, I gotta suck me five him. There's a lot of like the number condoms. There a lot of condoms. How about you're gonna fall in love with my hairless see that? That was the That was lady girl who's I think Katrina or something, the one who's like you did a really funny accent when you were introducing her. She was some Chicago for

the bulls. Yehowski Yeah, hairless pushy, Yeah, I have a hairless pussy cat. I didn't like that. It made me uncomfortable, just like gross and then not, okay, we're not there. So there might have Savannah who blindfolded him and then kissed him immediate. That was and she's a real estate agent. I was not into that. No, I thought it was inappropriate. Ye I didn't like that. Um Kelly said, bold girl, Kelly the attorney, you did that to a woman? Times up, Savannah,

times up? And do you have a blanket I can put on my lap? So yeah, thank you. Um. So then we have Kelly gets out and he goes, look familiar. I think I dry home to you and Westlake Village. I think I might have like tried to just jam the tip through your my pants through your like wedding gown, um, right behind the lobby bar. And he goes, I was hoping she'd come by. They really had some. He was

horny for her. He really really definitely haven't done it yet. No, no way, there's still it's un meet someone in a lobby and remember her name. Three months later you think you're the bachelor when you probably are getting hit on everywhere you go everywhere. Oh yeah. I don't think they consummated that. No they didn't, because then he'd be like, you'd freak out. You'd be like, oh um, yeah, yeah. But I'm sure she did because it was a month before. So she said, Hi, I'm Kelly, I'm gonna be on

the show. But it was but his impression of her was more than just that, right, Yeah, the wich surprised me because I wasn't sure if he was like oh at first, at first it was like oh, hey, like when who was Ari? Whoever boned before Nick? So they were clearly bombed, but this one was At first I was like this he bombed, and then he was psyched and there sure and then um, we have Hannah comes back and you see him be kind of excited, and she said I had mixed emotions. And then she's like,

it's gonna be great. I'm happy for you, and she gave back the wings. She's a pain, and they asked, you, guys, I'm loving it. Though I love it. I love it. I think ABC is making her to a lot of this. But the amount of unwaterproof mastera that was all over her face, well, I have a lot of theories of Okay, we're not there yet, we're not there yet. Well she would do it. Now, let's save it well and not well, crescendow on it. Um, have we gotten to the dry

sense of humor? Okay? So the dry sense of humor girl, which this made me Victoria Victoria, who we found photos of online that she does modeling for allegedly White Lives Matter, which is like who knew that was even a thing? I can't And I kind of kind of I was like, oh, this is a dark horse, Like she kind of makes me laugh. She's kind of was in that text change. Yeah, because like talking about white lives. Yeah, I didn't know

that because it's gone to a different direction. I loved her saying this, I am so happy for real was amazing, But then her saying and then having to say it twice in the night to re say, are you sure she knows that's written on the isn't that a guy's shirt?

That's sometimes it's a bunch of people, like I will say sometimes so like I've done merch, and like so when you make merch, the companies can show like they can put your shirt on fake models and it makes it look like so she might have just done like a T shirt company and then this was one of the shy That's what I'm saying. I don't know, but I mean it's also possible that she did, Like there's pictures of people in my shirts that never wore my shirts.

What's so weird that they sohow it would look on you? I mean, lucky them, lucky them, lucky that that your shirt was my shirt in there, which you can get on. Okay, you guys. So she looks like a Disney drawing that that girl, she's got really big dude. She's a mess, and I love it. She's gonna be the I feel like she might be the fun mess that the crowd that ends up liking. That's like, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't know

she was modeling for it. I hope sprised. I hope. So maybe it was just I pray it was just a generic shirt company anymore. I mean that is actually what also like the Trump people do is they take generic photos, wear like white shirts, and they write trump. She was sorry. She's not entirely white. That's where that's

what I give her the benefit of the doubt. Let's give her the benefit of the wanna we have issues with people who aren't white who also support Trump in weird ways where you're like white lives from you guys. On that note, we're gonna take a break. I don't know about you, but things are getting so hot I think I gotta take your break. All right, We're back. Hi everybody, Hi, everybody? All right, So where are we Okay, So now we're in the mansion, everybody's loaded in, the

gals are all threatened. I did enjoy. I did enjoy. Who was saying, Veronic I don't want to be Veronica Age? Victoria Victoria Age. I can see that. I can see being like, I don't want to be art in m I'd be Paget be like there's another Paget, and you think there'd be another art art and m Page Johnson was Victoria. Yeah, yeah, she didn't want to be a Victoria f And once you are, you are forever. Yeah,

we still call Ashley I Hannaby and Hanna By. Actually you're right, we still call her Ashley I. That's how she's known to us, Like I know, but but once you're you know, going in that that's going to be Hanna Be. I mean she's Hanna By. Yeah, she's always Hanna Be. So that so then we have he goes and I find the gal that had the letter and the Grandma Rose letter and they read it and it's like she's a lover of good looks. It's like books, books, books,

you idiot. I thought I was actually very cute. Yeah, I thought it was the dear bachelor. Yeah, dear bachelor, dear bachelor, don't get my grandmother your grandson like Chlamydia, dear bade, his name is yeah, bachelor, dear Johnny um. And then there was a lot of editing in really dumb phrases like like you know, like all things in life, you need to risk it for the best kit. It was just a lot of like I didn't understand what does that mean that girl was drunk on I've never yet.

That was the Chicago like, bis he looks like a dime, a dime fifty I'm like, oh, he's a ten. I get it, like a dime a dime. He's got to risk it for the us. The whole day I was like, what is happening here? This was just drunk girls. They didn't do the ceremonial like it. It was like eleven am.

It was bright. It wasn't even like dawn. It was like, right, trying to break down on a dime and fifty cents, right, I was trying to figure out more than a dime used to get ten out of ten, trying to decipher in two quarters or is he a diamond and nickel. I also love that we showed him, the gal that showed up driving the corvette. He then we see him later he's driving. I'm like, isn't he hammered? Is he just like drunk driving the corvette? Just like driving around

that I don't drive. I don't think he like drank a lot. I don't think he has a drinker. Yeah, I actually I don't think so. Also for that, I think he kind of knows. Oh, I have to be aware in a way. But they don't usually like most of them usually drink. I think not not the actual actual contestants drink because they've got so much time on their hands. So then we have my one of my favorite moments of the initial evening. Hannah An painted him

a picture of the Smoky Mountain. So many vaginas and three penis pines there there are like three penises in the lower right hand corner and then teen vagina flowers though he supposed to be vaginas for portant than the three penis, there like twenty vaginas like it was so why what I mean, do you think she even painted that? Or she said she painted it with her dad? Do you honestly, because because if she isn't android, like, do you think that the producers gave her a painting of vaginas.

I think she's programmed with the ability to paint poorly, to paint so that she'd seemed more human. Good painting. It's a really bad painting, just perfectly subpar, and she she seemed it was difficult to part with it. She didn't really want to hand it. I couldn't, like I've been to Tennessee, I've been to knut Like, what what is she painting? That looked like vaginas? It's all over the smoky mountains, Like what are the vagina look like?

Park vaginas? Like like an animated vagina flower and it's felt like it felt literally like like a venus fly, vagina trap, like like like a gorge, like a pink and gorge touched them. She was like, I think her dad drew the mountains in the tree and was like, I have to add something lying flower, dude, So then we see, um, we see the house. Flipper cuffed him and he was like, kissed him because he kissed Kelly.

He kissed what's her name, Hannah Ann And then she cuffed him and kissed him and he was like literally not into it and was kind of like, could you uncuft me again again? If a man did that, Wan, yeah, would go yeah, what was that? Tammy? She was the flipper, She's the house flipper, Tammy. Oh. And then she like did the t s a whatever check and found a

condom on him, right, And he's like that. So then he was sitting chatting with someone and my horrible number one pick, my awful kind of fashion blogger comes in and starts throwing the paper airplanes when he's like having a conversation with somebody. I couldn't even And then like she like they were like, can you give us a second? And she came back with another paper. It was such an off. It reminded me of when on Yaka had like the bullhorn and was like, I didn't like that.

I didn't like that. And then McKenna kept calling or something like girl, oh you can, hey, girl, can I get a minute with him? I didn't like that. They didn't like that. I didn't like that. I don't like I don't like McKenna. So then Hannah and here we go. So Hannah ant's getting a little Olivia and she went from like Vagina painting robotron Hot front Runner just started to be like starting to show a little the Craig Craig. So she's like, can I steal for a second? Hey,

I keep stealing them? Can I steal person? I just wanted to steal for second just because I want to. I wanted to do better. I wanted to. And then I was the kids. She's like with what he's like with the kids. And then I was a kiss, and uh, I couldn't believe. And I know I'm jumping ahead. It worked. He actually he gave her. She's so hot though, I think her hotness blind. It was. It was just like she was just she's gorgeous, she's and there and by the way, and he did like her. They had a

good connection at first. In a sea of beautiful women. She must be because we've met a lot of these people and they're all all of them, even the ones that are not stunning or stunning in person. If she's she must be so hot in person. She must have that special something because it was her eyes and it's like that will turn up with a smile at the end. But she's so she's so fake right now. Always happens like blind because she's so hot, she's so hot. It's

like I started thinking, like, why are guys like that? One? Is it about? It's just the hotness. I guess you just get mind. She's going to be like the Luke p of the season I agree with starts to become more unraveled, I agree with you, or the Olivia like the one that they're all going to hate her definitely already hate. I'm in it with you, you know together, well we had, we had, we had, so that was

after your mind. But that's the thing she went and she wouldn't like like somebody stood up to her and she goes and then the pin goes, I don't know if you're being harsh or if you're fucking with you story and you're just trying to get me out of your face. And she goes, no, I want you to just go out and make a run for it, girl. And she was like seriously, like it was she looked. It was truly like dealing with an android that like you can't win. You're not gonna winked what she did.

It worked, Yeah, like I got his friendship bracelets. Yeah, we'll be together forever. It's like, I don't know you that confidence that actually works, like David a guy once and I went on location and he cheated on me and we're on the phone and I was like, you cheated and he said, listen, we can either break up over it, or you can get over it and stay together. And I was like, I guess. So like when you're

hammered with a confidence, sounds so reasonable. That is what she did in that android moment, like, no, I want you to go for it. She's like she's dangerous, She's I mean, there's something here. This was also this was also crazy when she so she went she was like, I want to end on a kiss. And then she had like lipstick smeared all over her face and she's tired of the producer. And she's like it was so

out of the ordinary for me. Normally I'm demure and shy, but if I want something, I just go for it. It's like, which is it? Which is it? It sounds like it actually isn't out of your character. It sounds like this is every girl from her hometown hates her. I bet she had to. I don't know, but she's the one that lives at home. It's just like you, so does he. I think Peter lives at home. That's not a catch. Guys. If we're fighting for a guy, he better not live at home living with your mom. Mercedes.

That's true, that's right, that's right, he affords. Yeah, seriously, it's like Westlake. The dry sense of humor. Gal came up again, hammered, and she goes, for you, I want to respect it. I really respect what you're doing. And he goes, She gos, I just wanted it. It was just like nervous when he said he didn't he respect me, and he was like, I'm sorry, what was it? And then she said, I said I said to camer but like my pussies. Really what he was like, oh, I

didn't get that. Why did you get until you texted me that that's what it meant. I was like, oh, but she couldn't even in a ship outside when she first met him. She said that Joe, No, I was like, she doesn't. I don't think I hurt. Yeah, because she didn't say it. She said, so, I've been told I have a dry sense of humor, but that's the only and she looked at him with fear in his eyes, and he got where she was going and he grabbed her arms and like it's okay, and she was like,

oh okay, I didn't get that. I was just like, she's trying to She did it again. She did again. I got a big wet but right here, okay, but it's and he was like, oh maybe panic and maybe it's a condition. It's it's so, it's so that's my sad story you. Oh my god. I highly recommend watching the show with subtitles. I didn't really change as much that I missed because they all mumbled, you watched the whole thing? Do I know how to turn it on? God? Bless you hear it? And I can't. I can't understand

what they're saying. Watching Love Island Australia with the subtitles because I don't need to watch Bachelor Australia. Subtitle I wish we had him sometimes we need Yeah to the aqua pack. Oh watching Stillia like she kind of so hard, so she kind she cut the grass. You're like, wait, saying wish he passed and he dashed. I she passed, he did, should be devout like what is happeningstated passion, passionate and sticking out and we have a passing session.

She passion. Then he laughed, she passed, and he dashed. I'd be devil. I gotta guys, you gotta get out of the patriot that I'm taking that like I wanna. It's so fun. Even if that was subtitled I thank you for reading up subtimes. Yeah, that's so. Then the wet plussy dry humor girls hammered turns out to be drunk on the first night, hamered going there is I feel so stupid. There's so many pretty women here. That's who was drunk on the first night was the wet puss.

Did anybody call her as the drunk? Did she get picked? Yes? Um? And then he went and he pulled aside the gal that he dry humped in the lobby, and he goes, how are you still in the market. She's like, my face, she seems kind of normal, but then like she has she we're not there yet, but like she like she's not giving him much back except for I really didn't want to do this show, but I got a sign on the side. I grinded you. But I guess it's

a bookcase lawyer though she is old enough to get married. Yeah, I like hers lying about it. You're telling me she's twenty three. I like she also like very lawyer like Kelly. She's seven, even that she doesn't look that because it wouldn't make sense, but she carries herself as as a wiser person. They're obsessed about this meeting in the lobby too. They're like, let's re enact it in I was here. Let's react when we met at there was a comic book stand right there, and I was like, your Bruce's

friend Rob, And I'm like, I'm hard, thank you. Let We're gonna be friends for life. And then I grinded you and gets a Batman comment like I love the producers for having the date at that hotel, like they know, they know that something happened. We're not there yet. Well, to be honest, to be fair, there earned a lot of options out there, and he'm familiar with Westlake Village of the Four seasons. Is about the fanciest thing that was. Yeah,

where his parents live. Where he lives, Westlake Village. He says, he said to her, I had not stopped thinking about you, which is weird. So then we have that. He goes he gets the rose for the first impression, Rose Hannah An, I wrote no, no, no, He fell for it, and then my number one pick, the blogger starts pounding wine as he watches her go get it like she's they're making out. She's pounding wine. She's getting drunk. Not as drunk as we Vagina, but pretty drunk. Here's my tip

for anyone who's ever on the Bachelor. Don't sit near the rose to the women right, that's right, you gotta be right. So then this I've never seen it not being taken to a secondary location. Then Tammy goes, I said, we are at the roastar running. I loved Tammy saying if I got a rose, I would cartwheel torque and eat all the cheese. She did none of that. I was hoping to see it she did get a rose. I wanted to see her do a cart l torque and eat all the cheese. Um. He caught all the

flight attendants um. And then he said the phrase as follows, buckle up, baby, adventure calls. That was hard. So many so many airplanes. So here we are, guys, we're on our Normally that's when a first night would end, And boy am I glad it didn't, because at first, when I saw the daunting task of having to hand right out. Three hours. I was like three hours, but then what they gave us I was like, wow, well my compliments

to the ship incredible. It was so it was retually the best thing that's happened to the Hannah dessert was Oh my god, it was. I thought it was fun before that, and then that, I mean so much. So then here he is. So now we're in the third part of the show. Um, he loves planes. He's shirtless. It's like they're competing against a plane. Like, yeah, fall more in love with you. Yes, he's like a boy. He's like plane like he loves Oh yeah, I love that. I love that up there, what do you? He really

does too. It's like a primal when they saw look look at it. He was shirtless, kind of hot, dad bud like like lean tall, just like like a hot improviser. Um. Um. And they're on a group date and he goes and there's a card that arrives and says, look up, see you girls soon. And they're like, although we never actually saw in the shot the girls standing near the mansion and the plane buzzing the mansion, I think they filmed it at separate times. I think, yeah, I don't. I

can't imagine. I don't know Hannah and was being like insane in that moment. She was just like my friends noticed he's rewind to see what she's like. She's just she's so ready to become a spawn con. She cannot wait to be a full influencer, like it just her destiny to sell fad pit fun. Okay, So then we have um the tough lady pilots, the Blue Ages, love the Marine, and the first female Blue Angel. I loved, like that's really cool, and all the girls were like,

uh huh, I loved it. They didn't understand. I love what's the Blue Angel? And and the math test did the math test and he sat Hannah and right next to in her like you know her whispering sex one mile is five thousand, two hundred and eighty Yeah, yeah, that was I agree with you. My son knew that because he runs. He knew that, right. I was like, oh, really, she's so young. Maybe she remembers it from how high is the mile High Club? A mile? Yeah, that's I know.

That's how I thought. Okay, I didn't understand that they were supposed to convert to feet. I was like, okay, alright, okay, thirty thousand feet. Someone thought a mile. The two of them thought a mile was thirty thous I didn't know a mile. I don't know. I have a two hour mile. I can run. You're right, one mile, you're right. If I was thirty thousand, you're absolutely right. I know you're right, you're right. But I would have panicked in that moment

and not known. What did you I'm sure that, I'm sure they just if you hear mile High Club, you think, what did they say? We're now at ten thousand feet? You know, like, oh, I see that's where they got thirty feet and you can actually go to the bathroom anyway, Peter, So then we have so then there's an Then they also are like, are you ready to be a co pilot? And they put on the flight suits and they poor Victoria, they did what they did to Annalie's her teacups. It

was amazing. It was amazing. The teacup. The teacott was amazing. First of all, the recreation of her childhood trauma, spinning and throwing up in the teacup. Like very few people can handle a contraption like I can't, Like you're supposed that would be tough on a lot of people. I would really bad interryer. I could have thrown up, for sure. I did a play that was on a turntable, and um, the other actors would have to like catch it's hard for me to walk straight. It's tough. I did one too.

It's a spinning turn and you have to walk from the wings solid ground onto a plate moving. I didn't leave. You have to get used to I didn't leave to play the entire like. I was on stage the entire play, and it spun a lot, and for like two months afterwards, the world like I'd been on a boat. It was

after you go skiing all night. You feel Also, that's what like Astronauts trained with ye I felt badly for And he was kind of spinning her and spinning her and she's like all right, Like I am okay, buddy. Like they didn't seem to do it to everyone. They're like for those of you who but they built that to make her throw up. And then she's like and then she ran through. That was a great Disneyland ABC. But like the Teacups, they made it scar Yeah, they're

like the teacups don't go that fast. I don't know, but I would throw up on the teacot. I know people that can't go on. I can't. I can't flashback moment I went on, say traumatic for something so cute? I know. So when was it? Was it a bachelor where there was a date was on a plane where they went they did yeah, yeah, grew up and then they made out. That's right, Yeah he did. Kids, That's what they do for that. That's what they did for um Apollo thirteen comt that thing that goes up in

this Yeah, you're witless if I race. You know I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna vomit. You know I'm gonna vomit. Okay, so you'll be so cute. Excuse me, let's save me. Okay, I do too, I do. That's the plan. I mean, that's the plan. So then we have the obstacle. Course, I have to say that wind machine and they look like they put VOD. That was yeah, but I think

it was. I think it was like axal grease. They looked like but I felt like they were falling on their knees on pavement like they were they were falling on their knees on pavement, getting knocked over on the accellent Grez like that. Actually, I really enjoyed that we should all go do something. Let's go and do something together. Let's powerful. Those fans would be like they were all getting blown away. I felt like, we need to go

do some like escape room together or something. Be fun. Okay, then had to change and then they had to change the front of the camera. I get the luggage key, and then they were so pissed that Kelly cheated. Kelly cheated in that one does not stand with me as well. Kelly did cheat chet book of who won the Yeah

you know what. Nobody hauled him out. No one said hey, sorry, no, no, no no, no, yeah, we were to my mind, it's not even her, like it should be the producers or like they should be like, I'm sorry Kelly, and you didn't go out. I think she just didn't even know that Key has a better chance. Yeah, yeah, sorry, Tammy. Let's be real. Let's be real, Tammy your house. You gave a really creepy like handcuff that he was actually like, please on cuff for me, so we can't do the

first date with you. Um So then she wins, Kelly wins, and they go up in the plane and have no chemistry. She she's like, oh, look at that, like there's okay, time to go back. It's like that's when you're supposed to take that, and she did. They do we have WiFi because we're really connected, and he goes, oh, love love that, he said, I love that. I thought he was getting nice because he didn't know what to say tells the whole time because he kept saying like, I

love that. I think he was trying to be kind, you know. I think it's just like a just like a good kid. Yeah, yeah, I think he really did. How old is how old are you? An? I'm so you could have been a senior and he could have been a junior and you could have dated him. Yeah, and what I don't imagine and like like, yeah, that's really fun. I like this guy's a cornball. I smoke. We Yeah, I really probably wouldn't have been like yeah, yeah, where I would be like, yeah, I'm sneaking out to

the back of the school. Yeah, would be edgy. It's like wheaty in the cornball. So then we have um. It was it was really like not like in my mind, you get up there, you have this one moment, there's thirty twenty girls still, Like it's so many people. You want to get any connection is early. You want to like take that moment and be like wow, to see you in your element, like doing your thing like anything she literally brought. She had like no sexual energy, There

was no intimacy. There was no even like I'm nervous but I'm gonna hold your hand or whatever, like or I know you're like, there was nothing you take that little moment alone, nothing did you feel that? Basic? Yeah, it's like it's not it's not progressing, but like basic could be there with but like you be basic and flirty, basic and like it's still stuck in that like Opening Night,

like yeah, it's really me. Yeah, she feels like she's playing at safe, but she seems like someone who does that because like you know, she went to law school like every other human being in her family, and that her father's law. She worked with their creepy brothers that feel like Joejoe's brothers. Yes, they feel like Jojoe's brother So she's like the only woman kiss here on the bath, like to question you if you could send this chair when you're right when Jo's brothers kissed her on the mouth.

I will never if my brother ever even gave me a handshake out with okay, and I love my brother, I love them Okay. So then we have UM. So then they come back and she goes to and they're like it's like they were like, how is that? And it was like silence when they go, silence when they're and then she's sitting here going is so weird? Were sitting in the lobby like that, like I got he sucked me in this lobby a month ago, like I

sucked in this lobby. But they were so weirder than One person was like I have to tell you you cheated, like your win wasn't really a win. You cheated in a court of law, Kelly, that one in stand Maybe you should figure it out, okay, And she was literally like, oh, I didn't know there were rules. It's like what I know? And yet I've planned The producers like father, they kuind have just called. They didn't. They wanted her to win. They did, so then um victory goes. This is scary

and uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone. No one's ever when you came in to ask if I was okay after I threw up, no one's ever cared. That made me sad for her. She think it's true. Yes, this is the same hot girl that said no one ever gave her flowers. Think she raised her sister from when she was like four and her mom was an addicted her dad died. I didn't know that, you guys, Tyler Tyler C tweeted Peter gave a girl a bottle of water and checked on her, and she said that's

the best she's ever been treated. We gotta do better, man, which I thought was she's also the one who had never gotten flowers, right, Yes, And he ran outside and he picked the fake flowers that were planted waiting for him in the garden right outside his window. That was a good job by him. It was so sweet. And yeah, because when you look at that picture she and her little sister, it's like, I didn't know that was sad with her. Do you think she was like, is this

the rose? Are we? I know it was weird and you're like, are we doing this? That's why he had four fake peonies? Yeah, yeah, and they kind of look like roses, but they were clearly but Michael me too. And then he didn't he didn't. He gave it Vitoria. Yeah, Victoria, I'll give you fake roses Roses, so then we have um you guys. I just had a flashback. Oh my god, oh my god. I just had aback. When I first moved to New York, I auditioned to go be in the Stella Adler Conservatory and I just needed to do

a five minute piece. So I just I wrote and did a one woman five minute version of the Glass Minagerie. And I said like, yeah, and I go blue. I was like, you you used to call me blue roses because you asked me what was wrong with me? And I said blue roses, but you thought that I said blue roses and they were like, um, can you come back with a prepared like and I was like, blue

out your candles, Laura. I knew as soon as I started it wasn't gonna fly like and I still had to commit, like I still had to execute the entire thing. I did that. I did that whole like I actually did that. I did get in, but it was like not with that. It was like so brutal pling that in your interpretation because they're like supposed to be fro Missouri. I think in the place. Yeah, I love the interpretation.

She's like New York. You called me, you said because I said parosil maybe I said plarocious, and I said, you said that, I said plar roses, blue candles, Laura, I would accept you because I'd be like, she's nup as me. As I mentioned before, I do had my class animal collection. I'm not even exaggerating. That's what I did. And I knew it. I knew it was bad. I knew it was the wrong call immediately, but I nothing else prepared. I had to just commit. Okay, guys, we're back.

You know what, Let's take a break on that for a second. Oh, bone zone. Time for the bone zone, and we're back. Hi, everybody, Okay. So he's just given the roses, and he was a gentleman. I feel badly for her that she had never gotten flowers. I know, I know, and she had never gotten flowers. I still didn't get the rose. Gill didn't get the rose. Um and then we have UM. So then he goes and grabs Kelly. He's like, should we re enact our meeting? And um and she get him though didn't she already?

She went in Hannah and him. I don't blame her the whole one on. She'd already had a whole day, I know, but early on. You gotta do what you guys do. Have you guys stated competition? Girls? Yeah, all here for you to go meet him too. You know, I am here for you to go. I mean being very transparent with me, and I understand, but like, I want you to go, girl, go make a run for it, make a run, make a program down for a little bit. Let me make a run for it. It's so condescending.

What if they find her staring at a wall. Oh my god, she's just like plugged in. She's small wonder. She is small wonder. She's hot, small wonder. So then they have um. So then he goes, hey, don't let it affect you. I know you've got a target on your back. She's like day thing that. And then and they're like, so, let's just say where was it? And he goes, and I think you'd be sitting right up here.

He wanted her to spread her legs so he could dry I felt like he wanted her to get into make out with a dry hump, but she was like, I'm a lawyer and a lady and I'm going to side saddle this kiss I missed all. I think he on it, like he had a real like I'm putting you on the bar. I think he wanted to go in for a like where she would like wrap her legs around him, but she was like, not yet, Bro, maybe they did that. When maybe they did that, I

was wondering, do you think maybe they didn't. Maybe that's how they kid. She's like, she doesn't want to do it. She's like, I've got a mini skirt on and I'm a lawyer. So what do you think really happened? He was trying to reenact the dry hump. Think that was your impression. I know I thought he'd been away from the screen to eat a potato skin at this point because I don't know what you're talking. You're a good cook, aren't you, But no, Steve makes frozen appetizers for the

first night of Bachelor. That's that's the most spectacular, that's ritual of a marriage you could ever have. Okay, so then we have Okay, we're just gonna keep it moving because it was a three hour premiere, Okay, so a three hour tour that's what was to So then we see the target on the back. So then so then then they come back and people like, that's not fair. You've already talked to him. That's not fair. And then um,

so then we have a one on one day. I couldn't believe there was another one on one day and another group day. It was like this was insane. It was like a full season of television. And so they go they go Madison. The basketball player goes to his parents house where they're renewing their vack. Do you think that they decided to ruin you their vows that just happened to parents are eating. They are like, Peter is going to be famous, but we will too, Like they're

so weird. Mustache the mom they love it. It's actually really like the mom. She's really fun. She's always like, oh my god, I know she's fine, and she's and then she's nice to the girls, like she's warm. I will say, recite that fifteen line verse we always say in Spanish. Right now. She also somebody emailed us a fan of ours email. Doesn't they found a clip and we haven't played it. I don't looked at it. You

we have to look at it. They they compiled for us a clip he was on like a there was like a survivor for kids, like he was like a twelve year old survivor. And then somebody combined, we'll have we'll play it afterwards. They compiled for us. So this kid's been trying to be on TV and he was like a filmed actor and she was twelve and he was like a failed actor. They've they've they've been southern California trying to get him on the television. So it was just like a sweet where his parents on the

I don't know, we have to watch it later. So then so they do the renewing of the vows, and um, they loved their close up. My dear sweetheart, I bless you and live with the love for you, and I told you with all my heart I love you, and the dad was weeping and and then they threw it right at her and she catches the bouquet and problem, of course throw it right. But she really fit right in. I have to say, I felt like she rose to

the challenge and was charming. I liked her. She didn't feel like there was like a super huge connection between her and the mom, though not enough for the mom to be like bring her home to us unless they meet again, which could happen. I mean it's hard on a first date, but I thought she was sweet enough to be to not be like kicked out. And then she goes, I feel like I've known you my whole life, Like when I'm with you, I feel like I'm home. And then she said, you remind me of my dad.

I want to marry someone like my dad. God, I could not less want to marry someone. That's something you should try and a voidge yourself. That's so, do not marry your father. Yea, So he must have he must really like her if he took her on this date. He's obsessed with anyone who's obsessed with their family. He just takes a breath to be like, I really appreciate

she loves his family. I mean they're his best friends before his family, before he was on Bachelor, the only people he ever instagrammed photos with, like who he was hanging out with was his family. There was like like, he's there's his dad. There's such a corn. He's also like flying around, so he's not at home. So it's like if you're gone all the time and then you

live at home, get it? I mean I literally was watching that and I like even said to my friends, I was like, I wish I had a family that was closely Yeah, I mean I love my family. Look if I lived at home, I can see how it would be very easy to like fall into that pattern. You gotta get out. You gotta cut the curd kids, no matter how many roommates you gotta have to afford be able to do it. You gotta you gotta get out. Okay, could I say one thing as a sign that said

the Webers? It was an apostrophe for the before the s not needed thank you. Someone let them know thank you, thank you Weber Webber, Webber, Sorry Webber, but it was it was w E b E R apostrophees I needed that. You know, there's long to the Webber's. It would be Webber's. You know, there's a lot of we could do a lot of grammar stuff on this show. She said, it feels that I watched her and start to shut down

because she's like, wow, like I really like you. And then I watched like a storm cloud come in where she goes but it's gonna be hard to share you with the other girls, and it's gonna be hard. I'm a cautious person. I'm slowing relationships. And then I like, I watched all the like she was like a wide open book, and then the storm clouds rose in. He was like, hey, hey, hey girl, hey girl, I see your heart. I'm gonna protect your heart. Theory, so we we find out someone like in the Coming up and

says she's gonna be the virgin. She's gotta be the virgin. All that time, I thought the same thing. I thought the same a virgin five and especially she's like, it's going to be hard to see you with other people. No, no, I agree with that. I'm slow. I agree with you. And she's gonna and she might take herself out if she finds out that he did it with somebody else. Of course he doesn't. Of course he did, because he's

the bachelor and he sucked four times. Do you think we learned that she's no, Maybe it comes on later on because they have to do stories about their sex lives upcoming. She's not on the group's on the group. She's on the one I wanted. Because we even hear someone say why she wait so long to tell him? She yea, it's got to be her. I thought the same thing. I thought that was her. So then they

go back there like that. He's like, Dad's not at all and then they round the bed and there's and they're basically at like a reception for a wedding for their parents fell but they have to have the stage for forty minutes. I have to say. I was like, I'm starting to drink the kool aid. And I was like, all right, I didn't mind this toneil lard zone. I thought her outfit was crazy with her sleeves that had a cape sleeves. I was like, I'm here for this

crazy til arch. There's a captain playing pianos. Captain captain and arks, Yeah, that would be great. I would pay you money. I want to buy you an Amazon captain's outface and I wanted you to call yourself the captain and you can be the captain and consider having to nil a feature on one ear. Try a good idea, good thinking. Let's get on this show. How do you get caught up? Like, how do you get bachelor to hire you for a date? We try, We try that. We tried to get me to go on. When Danielle

um M was on Paradise. We tried. My manager tried to get me to go on and like give advice in a hot tub and then have Danielle go on a date and have Rob's band be there, and they didn't get back to us. Still waiting for that call. So does that tell your followers to inundate them with tweets? Yes? Than Bachelor ABC. Yeah, if you're not a hashtag, don't worry about whether he's tired or not. Worry more about getting him on the ABC on loloader for Bachelor son

and then where it will be part to your band. Yeah, and we each carry one piece of equipment exactly. I want to be your tamin out of your tambourine girl. Then we have a we're a weird Stevie Nicks thing and just dancing a circle like a witch, and then I'll throw up and you have to deal with this on a very special wrath. When I grew up tching like a witch on your stitch and you brought me water, I felt so steen, I felt so taken care of. Now would he never let me be a tambourine girl before?

And you can for me? And then I'm like, I'm sorry? Which one were you, And then like he didn't remember. There are a couple of women vomited. He didn't remember. I was special. So then we has a group date. Oh you guys, here we go black butter cop This is where about Katie's theories. I already thought it was a great episode. I was already like, this is long, but great. The east his back bitches is what she said, which I didn't like. That was a real bummer. I

didn't like it, like her being there. I was like, oh God, putting yourself the senior that will not go away, that graduated last year, Like it's over. You funked up. You picked Jed Tyler went on to dot it didn't work. You did Dancing with the Stars. Just go away. She really likes the screen time, man. So then I also talking about the windmill here I can't. Again I can, and then again I can't. And then we cast it. It's a romantic but I he just is she just sweet?

And then this pilot took me do it wasn't SiO. It had a windmill, and then we did it, and then did it, and then in the morning we did it again. My little fashioned and that it was producers made her do that because I felt like she hated it. No, she doesn't have a contract with them. She's she's for cry. No, she doesn't not anymore tears. It feels like she is like she's smiling and then goes behind the scenes and just like we know she's crazy. And this was also

so this is probably film less fault. She had a contract with ABC at that time. She was on Dancing with I know, but she didn't have to do that. And she's so crazy and I think she knows, she knows she blew it. She blew it. And then Tyler went on to jiujihadd like, here's the other thing about her. She does not like to lose. She doesn't she's weirdly competitive. And she gets there all those girls and I think somebody kicks in and she's like, I gotta win this. Yeah,

you're right, You're absolutely right. You're not. No, but I got to what date was happening while she was on Dance with her, because when he walked in the room

was hey, birthday girl. She was on Dance with daring her birthday and then Uma awful like figured out the dates and that that date that like that when she was around there was like the day after, so she had a really hard night on Dance with the Stars and the judges were like that was good to her, where they like literally had to go back and be like, I'm sorry, we were so mean to you. And it was the day after that, so she could have been suffering a little bit. She was tired. I know that, dude.

I think, good work. Do you want me to get my theory? Yeah, ask her to be on the show, and she's gonna say no obviously because she can't because she's but they're also going to play up that the other girls go nuts. But then I think I kind of feel like he's going to go back to her. Maybe Yeah, I don't think we're done with her. I don't think he's going so she's gonna leave, and then he's gonna make it so far and it's going to be like Hannah and towards that he's gonna like Madison.

It's like, obviously she if she's going to show up again, and then and then the other ones fucking suck. Whoever else there sucks, and so then he's gonna like he's gonna say she's talking about what's his name, Chris Harrison who goes to him goes. I have some news this year. Maybe Hannah went back as well and was like I can't stop thinking about him, which is what I tell him up Ari and and whatever the wife's name is.

Do you think she wins? I don't know, because I think he's not going to choose anyone, because I do think Madison is, Like, I think something's gonna happen with her being a virgin of him fucking someone else, Like that's going to suck it up for Madison. Yeah, the girl, I don't know. Yeah, probably maybe I think I think Hannah be is gonna come back somehow. Yeah, honestly she can't. That was right because she wins Dancing with the Star, So she's not going to go around the world to

where whatever country is sponsored. That's a great theory, Katie, Katie, when did Dancing with the Stars and what months recently? I think very recent? Hold on, let me look at it. This is thrilling. Means they still have a minimum two more episodes to shoot of The Bachelor right now. No, they're all done. They always done done, They're always done before they finished it and then edit it. Then they edit it. Yeah, because they have to know how to

fake it. Won They won November, all right, oh here it is November. They won because Alan posted it all her dance parnders so cute, and I think they should have fucked you guys, you guys, you guys. So wait a minute. So then she goes so then she gives this awful assignment that you have to tell this story about a sexual experience or a fantasy. I have so many good ones, do you yes? Tuning in fantasies are a memory, fantasies, fantasies it wait, I will say this.

I just after watching the end of Fleabag, I did go online and look up clergy porn. There's a lot and it's really oh my god. I found this old Italian movie. You're speaking Italian and it's just dirty and hot and weird. Yeah. This guy that's one standing outside the door, and I'm like, i's he gonna join it? He said that after after Fleaback season two, that's what hard me go do it. Apparently they said that there

was like a whole uptick and international in people. I started searching for priests and stuff, clergy not even religious. If you're not religious, I come the media. I I can't believe I'm saying it. That was me imitating Hardon. That's how I sound like. It's like a Cardinal and the Old Man. Yeah. Have you watch Fleaback? Okay, yeah, yeah, I know, I love it. But that's what I didn't find, like an American amateur New Jersey, you know, it was it was, for some reason, a vein of Italian for

such a Catholic country. Yeah it was even hotter. Yeah good, that's exciting. Okay. So then so then he goes and he's and he's like rattled, and he's like it was really weird, saying Hannah, and then we see her weeping behind the windmill, and a producer was talking to her and he's like, how are you feeling? Just like, I don't know, I don't know. I loved him. So then so she's crying, her non waterproof escarat is a mess, but I loved it back back. And then he grounds

the bed and he's like, hey, birthday girl. She's like, how are you? Just like not, okay, it's so weird. I'm really sorry. And then um when he goes like how was it when he first came back that night, She's like it was terrible bringing the wings back. No matter what, my heart was confused and really fucked up. And this is when he really brought it and I was. He was not mad about Jed. He was mad about her asking out Tyler and him saying I didn't want

want I don't want to be your number three. He had such a good point, like anybody could be fooled to make the wrong choice, but like, okay, He's like, I had no doubts about you. I went to that after the final rows. I was ready for you to go. I made a mistake. I'd like to give it a go with you. And then you asked out Tyler. And then when he said did you even think about asking out me? Was there any you could tell? She didn't.

You could see in her whole eye she had a valid points, like I thought you wanted to be bachelor. Also like I wasn't trying to like drum up all this ship for you again because you were trying to get over, which is like they were both in valid positions. I thought, like, who was this run around? Who was

number two? Tyler? Tyler? Tyler? That sorry, I also would have asked out Tyler over Tyler was so hot I think it's that there is an element to Hannahby at this point, especially in that moment where she's just embarrassed. Of course, she's now chasing after number three and he's the bachelor, and I can see these tears and probably exhaustion from Dancy, and she's so hyper competitive that she's flipped out and she knows, she knows how embarrassing that

she blew. But let's just say with the Tyler situation, she knows she had these two great guys. Tyler and Peter were both great guys, and they were really lovely guys, and she picked this ship ball after dragging people through Luke all season. But she had these two nice, hot gentlemen who really love, like sincerely seemed to love her, and she fucked up. And then she tried with Tyler, who then ghosted her and immediately did Gigi had to eat after he probably sucked her. He did, they hooked

up and anyone did you geeawd need? So she's embarrassed and now she's got nothing and the franchise is moving on and she's trying and he's about to be the bachelor's and she's just that this is pathetic. This is pathetic, how embarrassing? Embarrassing when he's like, what would you say if I asked you to come back? And she was like, well, maybe you know you can't do this. You don't really want to go back in there. If I was his friend to be like, you can't. You gotta say, hey, man,

I gotta do this journey. And then I'm on and I know maybe this isn't He loved her like we all have people that like get us. We all like back in the day, I feel like all of us have people that are really bad for us, so that when they beat their puppy dog eyes and so he's and he's like, do you regret sending me home? She's like, yeah, Peter, I question it all the time. And he goes, ha, zero doubt. I know, had no doubt. And she said I had no doubt that it was you and Jet

at the end. Then what I was, I don't I don't like really funk with her so hard and like shame her for having sex that she like got her judgment clouded on. Peter like, I just don't know, like that that was the thing. It was like me like he looked like, wait, you never told me that. It's like they probably cut out him saying that. The like then like why did he? Yeah, we did every aspect of That's when I was like, wait was it. She's like, it's gonna be you and Jed going to my family.

It's like, then, why was it? Tyler said? He goes, you never told me that? Like She's like yeah, And I was like, what is happening? And I was like that, but it wasn't you and Jedd. He seems genuinely be fuddled, really genuinely painfully confused, as if he's questioning his judgment and did he misremember. It was hard to watch, Honestly, I felt like, that's a good guy who's really struggling with Wait, what happened? Now? I don't know why I'm here? Yeah,

I missing? Why am I doing this? She tell me I did I love her? Like he looked paint and then a clearly I believe he loved her, and he goes see her. I just wanted to kiss her, and like, I mean, if you do it with her, I just wanted to keep looking at her and beat him. He loves her, and like if you do it with somebody four times in a windmill, that you love, and that's

the last time you really interactive with them. And there they are and they're crying, and they're like like like, if you really really love someone, you can put all those feelings aside because you're like, I'm about to be the bachelor, about to meet all these new second in the room with them, and they're just the two of you. You're coming back when he finds out, Yeah, we're going to go on a date with Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. And then and then she goes, you know what did it?

Do you know why? What did it say? Three? I don't know what this? Oh? That was Chris Harrison doing jokes. Do you know where the cow? She was like, do you know why? The cow? Was like, yeah, I think you guys. I I loved it. I felt badly for him. I at least we know the season happens, oh, Dancing with the Stars, so we'll have some time. I loved it to process our own emotion. I thought it was so exciting. I felt bad for him. I think we have I kind of hope she enters the mansion. I'll

think she'll show back up after dancing is done. When it's down to the final three, I will say so. Um. Karen McCullough texted me this morning. She's done our podcast before.

She's the wonderful woman who wrote Legally Blonde. She she just thought it was such a rude move that it made that Hannah now has all this good will from Dancing in the Stars, and it makes her look kind of cold and bitchy to come back, and it makes her look unkind to like take your goodwill, like go become a correspondent for E Like you know what I mean. It's like, go find a real guy and move on. And it seems cruel to come back and do that. That's what. But that's that she's not going to say.

But it's too late now, she's already she's already got to stay because she knew she wasn't going to stay because she was on Dancing with the Stars. So it was I'm going to have a backup TV job. I'm gonna go and try to get on. I think that I think that the key is how competitive she I also think a lot of it is maybe if she had that awful of the episode the night before I'm about to be kicked off this show, the need to

back up. I think You're absolutely right. And I think a lot of them get addicted to being in the franchise, so like, once you've been the Bachelor, it's hard. It's hard to like, what are you gonna go to Paradise? Like it's like it's like you're done. Oh, she'll absolutely if this doesn't happen, if she never comes back to Peter's season, she'll she'll be the biggest star in Paradise. Yeah, that's I think people don't know what to do when when it doesn't end with a wedding. Side I do

kind of like watching I loved it. I loved it, and she is super cute. She has become a very professional train wreck. I didn't know she was gonna be upboard, and I thought she couldn't put out And now she's cruel yeah, and desperate yet and weepy and it wasn't. At one point she was rubbing yea Garris stain under her She was rubbing it like to make I think she might end up being the villain. Before we do

our predictions for the season, I have one question for Katie. Okay, So Jade of Jade and Tanner allegedly she went a million dollars doing fantasy football, but then people are so mad. But then people are saying there's some collusion between who cares if she's like no, why is it illegal? So what happened is, so I guess Tanner is like a huge He does a lot of daily fantasy folk called

like on DraftKings. So they have a they have a they have this one taka okay, so you can enter it, but you are limited per person to a hundred and fifty entries each to enter. They each bought a hundred and fifties. So what they colluded together on their lineups because they said of the three hundred, two hundred and ninety eight of those were unique. So what that's that's really yeah, but they're calling it a collusion. So like

when I played fantasy. But isn't that so if we were playing fantasy and and I couldn't go separately to each other, and then we could go to each other and trade a player, but we couldn't go together and be like, hey, don't don't play them. So paget loses some pro I don't know how that I get it, And my mind is like a lottery ticket I got Literally, you have another person strategy because if there's two I

get it. I didn't know. We didn't talk to each other and we each bought a hundred and fifty entries. There is going to be so many duplicates, especially because there's so many good players that ever, I didn't know

it either. So they equivalent of like if we could trade people, but like if I was the only one that had Hannah and going far like now daily fantasy like this, like we could all like we really could all play the same exact people, and a lot of people would like everybody would play the same quarterback because

that's who's going to be the best. O. Um, but there's are like very cold, Like I was doing the ESPN article about it, and they said like like hers were all a f C players, his world NFC players, like they were way cured. I didn't, so I thought they'd come in a lottery tickets like I got it. Okay, I got it, millions that they bought. They bought three hundred actually dollars. That's a lot They live in California, because that's likest Okay, Okay, that's yeah, that's crazy. Find okay, Okay, guys,

going forward, let's say now that we've seen it. Who do you think it's gonna win? Who do you think it's going to be, the villain? And who do you think is going to get boned in the fantasy set? Rob Um, I'm gonna say that. O G. No, I'm gonna saying yea O G. Hannah is gonna win, Hannah Brown is gonna win. Okay, who's gonna Who's gonna get boned in the fantasy suite? Hannah Ann? And who's going to be the villain? Hannah Brown? Oh my god? Wow, Okay, paget.

Who's gonna win? Who's gonna get boned? Who's the villain? This is fascinating. I love just so hard because I still don't know everyone's name. Give me the gist of the gist of what you know so far, the description. All right, I'm like, that's the same as rown you think Hannah Brown is gonna win? No, Hannah b will be the villain, Hannah and he will bone Who's gonna win? I think the winner will be Hannah and Hannah Hanna, Okay, Hannah and the winner? He doesn't he says, Hannah Brown

the winner? Right? I know? Yeah, I'm saying I do differ there, but it's but it's those two ladies somehow in the end, and I am happy that I am the winner. I think she will all right, Anna, who's your winner? Who's your boner? Who's your who's your villain? Still so early, I know, rotate winner. I would say Madison? Is that the one that went on the hometown day? Um bone? Hannah? And and then what was the other one? Villain? Villain I think is gonna be uh Kelly great Katie.

I think Hannah by ends up with him. He's gonna Hannah Ann. I think that. I think the villain is a tie between Kelly and Hannah Hand. Okay, I'm gonna say he focks Kelly. I'm gonna say he also fucks Hannah. And I'm gonna say that Madison goes home because he fucked Kelly and Hannah Hand. I'm gonna say the villain is Hannah Ann. And I'm gonna say the winner is I also think he focks in her brown again. I'm

gonna say five, I'm gonna say the winner. I'm gonna say the winner is good God, can you cut this out? Can you cut cut this down? I'm gonna I'm gonna say the winner is Madison. She's not gonna come back. She's not gonna come back. Kelly Kelly, Kelly Kelly is the winner. Kelly up foregone this whole show. Then Kelly Kelly for now. It'll change you, guys, what a journey. Kelly is the lawyer who we met in the lobby. Okay, So we're gonna be in San Francisco Sketch Fest on Sunday.

Please come. It's gonna be so fun. I'm doing seven shows that weekend. Also, if you're new to the show, we have if you're like, I want more, we have a bonus. We have bonus shows on Patreon and we are doing Bachelor Australia and there's like the whole link. It will teach you how to watch it. It's so fun, it's really fun. It's it's it's incredible. Um so please uh it's it's it's just a blast. And Anna and I do it with Lisa Delrios and m. K. Paulson who are so funny and so that's great. What do

you have coming up? Paget sketch Fest, sketch Fest on that class. Yeah, that's it, just doing sketchows I don't know about any other work. I don't know. Um, you guys, and if you want, we have a thing. If you're new to this, Oh, we gotta do tweeter of the week. So we do Twitter of the Week. And if you

want to participate, here's how you let us know. You can tag me or Anna at um on Twitter minus at arta marine a r d e n M y r I n or at anna hosny a A n n A h O s s n I e h and we do a hashtag w y A t R and um. So here we go. Will you help us pick a tweet of the week of the week. Thank you so much. Okay, here we go. This is from our girls, Cheyenne Constant at Tricksy Firecracker, You're gonna fall in love with my hairless pussy cat. Now we know

who is getting waxed at the top of the show. Awesome, Um two point oh at Shelley two point oh. P. He's therapist. Hears nothing but sobbing around the expectation he feels to funk four times in a row. I'm better than Ben Shapiro at Andrea Underscore Shapiro. It's Kelly just really chill or. She adapted her personality to her botox, and she was like, I feel like a lot of girls aren't happy with me. Like her, she was smiling and her face wasn't moving. I was like, are you

happy about this? I couldn't tell what was happening, but I think you because she didn't do her hair in like a crazy manner. I look kind of like in a ponytail, like but you're right, there was some lack of movement Britt Paul's in at beer it for a really quick second before they took off their aviators. I wanted the two pilots to just beat the ship out of all the girls in their Lulu lahads seth that

at Basebone one. If waxing taints makes you a caregiver, then why isn't this nursing student milking that cow into a bliz vien Jesus all right? And then the last three Ronnie at ron Tanmobe. Truly, every great love story begins with your new girlfriend introducing herself by yelling about how many times you had sex with your ex girlfriend Ryan Paulson at our Paulson photo. Hannah, when you said you wanted me to find my co pilot. You gave

me something and this was said simultaneously, chlamydia your wings? What? What? Right? Yeah right, I'm sorry, Thank you by um um. And then Britt Paulson at Burritt Sexy Wait to meet a guy. Here's a letter from my grandma, Sexier way to meet a guy. Oh mg, our grandma's have the same name. How cute, sexiest way to meet a guy. It's the same grandma. Their cousins. Um, okay, I'm gonna nominate Britt Paulson with sexy met meet a guy. Here's a letter from my grandma's Sexier way to meet a guy. Oh,

my dear, grandma's have the same name. How cute, sexy way to meet a guy. It's the same grandma, their cousins. And I'm going to do I'm better than Ben Shapiro at Andrea Underscore. Shapiro is Kelly just really chiller. She adapted her personality to her botox. We have botox or same grandma's, same grandma, cousins, grandma, same grandma. Alright, it's you, nanimous, it really was, And this is her photo. So Brett paul Dan, you are right, you very first Twitter the

Week winner for Welcome to anybody new out there. My name is Arte Marine. Will be back grow up every Wednesday, but I'll warn you in advance of, for some reason something happens. Not gonna be but God willing, every Wednesday, we'll be here on I Heart Radio podcasts. All right, yeah, it's so good. I just got one little puships where you reach this rule, these roles into your word, these rules into your world? Will you accept this? Rose is

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